Good(bye) Friday!!!

Ok so this is my last week of doing an onslaught of posts. Startin next week I’ma do them at my leisure. So you might have somethin new Monday. You might not. I just need a vacation from this. I do enjoy doin it, but I need a break. So deal with it how you wanna. If you’re a parent and needs some advice or just wanna hear funny stories - Daddy's Fish Bowl is comin REEEEEL soon. If you wanna show off your cool ride to the world Koolwhips is already up and running. If you need a DJ (like every club in Hollywood does) then DJHeavyness is who you need to talk to. And I’m out. Oh, and the Dow is up. Good job Obama (and former administration but more Obama).

Jeremih - Imma Star (Everywhere We Are)

LMAO. Word. I love the concept for this video. Just doin the opposite. Makes me not feel so bad about my current finances.

Debbie Rowe gives up fight

How bout some fan-fuckin-tastic news to start off. Debbie Rowe (Michael Jackson’s ex-wife and baby mama) has reached a deal with Katherine Jackson to grant custody. YAY for the Jackson babies. Those babies definitely were produced by Rowe’s eggs when you look at their faces, but I’m glad that the kids will go back into hiding and won’t be exploited by anyone. Great news. But, Katherine is 79 years old…her time is limited on the planet. Who will get the kids then? I hope Katherine makes a will that keeps the kids in the family.

Stolen fetus is alive

That’s great news, I guess. The lady is still dead but at least the baby is well. I can’t believe the monster told her friends that she just had a baby. Like really? You just gonna fool everyone like that? SIKE. She thought being fat would cover up for her lack of weight gain. I wish I could smack her in the face with a spiked cricket bat (or whatever they call em).

Are cops smarter than a 5th grader?

HAHAHAHAHA. I swear to you that there is a balance in this universe. For every one stupid black person, there is a white person of equal stupidity. “Jungle Monkey”??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I really have nothing else to say. Hearing his lawyer repeat it is just as funny. And the guy appears sincere in the video too. This goes to show you (again) that you don’t have to racist to act stupidly. Obama 2 - Cops 0. I do think that this guy has to be more stupid than the lady that cut out the fetus. At least she kinda planned it out and how a reason (sick one, but still). This cop says to himself, “I’m tired of everyone callin the cop racist when it was the stupid jungle monkey’s fault for actin like that. I should send an email to a newspaper and talk about those jungle monkeys.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He should retire, then kill himself for “acting stupidly”.



Since I won’t be able to bash cops for a while, here is a bonus video of another cop doing his job properly:

Wife pours boiling water on husband's crotch

Lol, in all fairness…if he cheated he deserved it. Hey man, you can’t get caught. That’s the key. Of course the Latina would be like she’s thought of it but would never do it. Lyin ass bitch. All Latinas are crazy and shame on the dude for not even knowin. The same women that will nurse you when on your death bed is the same one that will put you to death if you cross her…that’s why I love em so.

Raquel Gibson loves gold

And a final round of breastsess. Raquel Gibson could be a porn star or a D-List actress…nobody cares. But she is lookin tasty. And at the risk of comin off homo, I’m really feelin her underwear. What?? It’s cute!!! Lol.

Boob bag

Bag of boobs | Flabber

OMG. Um. Yeah. I have the same camera (in black). Pepper spray?

A rare spotting

I found this on College Humor…is this real? Is this a unicorn? A thoroughbred? I would propose to that ass in a heartbeat.

Alessandra Ambrosio plays peek-a-boo (NSFW)

And who better to close out a great blog with besides the always beautiful Alessandra Ambrosio. Be careful, there’s a little teat, I mean treat with one of the pics.

Ain’t shit due cuz I’m out this bitch!!!
Thanks to everyone who made it a great year of blogging. Thanks for comin back and listen to my senseless rambling day in and day out. It was fun while it lasted.

Time out thurdays in affect

Well well well. Thursday is upon us. Almost the end of July, which for some people means the ending of summer. What does that mean for us? Nothin…just one more day left in the week. Muhahahahahaha!!!

Cartoon parody of Lil' Wayne, Drake, and Trey Songz

Is this a real Lil’ Wayne and Drake song? Because the voice actors rap JUST LIKE THEM!!! LMAO!!!

Obama might not be Prom King

It appears that President Obama is losin some popularity. The current health care reform hasn’t made him a favorite in the house hold. I personally think that while the current bill is very expense, somethin needs to be done. We need to take care of our sick. It kinda does surprise me that his approval ratings have dropped. I mean 7 months into the year and we’re still around!!! This was supposed to be a 1 round knockout but thanks to the swift actions of Obama and his crew, we are still afloat. How can people not recognize that and approve of the job the President is doin? I mean look at all the different agendas he’s attacked in 7 months. What did Bush attack? Iraq. And that’s what got us into this mess. I can’t wait till Obama turns the country around and goes down as one of the greatest Presidents of all time.

Woman found in closet with fetus missing

I’m tryin to figure out the psychological sense in cutting a baby out of a woman. Why not just snatch a baby outta a stroller or somethin. It’s less messy, and you only get a kidnapping charge instead of kidnapping and murder. Is there really a shortage of babies to adopt that it’s easier to cut one out of someone else? These people are very sick and deserve the worst punishment they can HANDLE. We are sooooo PC with our criminals that the justice system is almost a joke. We should remove the “no cruel or unusual punishment” amendment from the Bill Of Rights. Let’s start punishing guilty parties the way God intended…eye for an eye bitches!

40 lashes for tight clothes in Sudan

A Sudanese journalist could receive 40 lashings for wearin tight fittin pants. Lubna al-Hussein was arrested by the police who accused her of wearing pants that were too tight and a blouse that was too transparent. In Sudan there is only one punishment for wearin indecent clothin and that’s to get your ass beat in public. 40 lashings to be exact. I feel sorry for the chick (only because I don’t know exactly what she was wearin), but wouldn’t it be nice if we adhered the same kinda punishments in the U.S.? For one, I bet them New Boyz (they sing that terrible song “You’re A Jerk”) would be beaten to death and their music removed from America. But on some serious matters too. Like if you are found guilty of any kind of sexual assault involving your penis, then they cut it off. If you steal, your hand goes. Your wife sleeps around? She gets gangbanged – by horses. Or by me, same difference.

Child eats drugs at airport

Excuse me but, ahahhahahahahahahaha, dumb ass kid. What’s good with parents improperly raising children? Since when is it cool to pick up a bag that doesn’t belong to you and start eatin from it? Yo, that would be a hundred hand slaps from my momma E. Honda. And both grandparents thought the other bought it? Ugh. That’s just a sorry excuse for not payin attention if you ask me. But I’m not an evil man. I’m glad the child is alright and I hoped she learned her lesson. As for the person that resealed the bag, shame on you. Skittles? Really? Pushing drugs like that now? Not gonna lie tho, that’s a pretty crafty way to get things done.

Rihanna's cut isn't the bizzness

Rihanna finally did it. She took her short do, and it made it look like poo. Actually poo isn’t a strong enough word for me. Rihanna’s hairstyle looks like SHIT!!! Brown, warm, and stinky. Her outfit is cute tho. But damn those stupid glasses on that stupid head with that stupid hair.

No Saved By The Bell reunion for Tiffani Thiessen

Tiffani Thiessen is Busy from Tiffani Thiessen

It’s relatively stupid, but seein that awesome booby, I mean body. What is she, like 40? (Actually 35). And those tits look real. Yum.

Maria Menounos got a donk

Maria Menounos is very cute…not HOT but cute. One thing that always set her apart from the other HWood chicks is that ass…I didn’t even know Greek woman had it like that. I might have to make a trip to Athens.

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

The flithy stench is crawlin over me

Um, it’s Wednesday and I don’t feel like doin shittttttt. I can’t stomach any more comments from Americans on Vick, the President, healthcare, Henry Gates…all I have to say is THANK GOD WE ELECT OFFICIALS TO RUN OUR COUNTRY. The last thing I would want is someone who thinks Vick doesn’t deserve a chance to play in the NFL confirming Supreme Court nominees.

Fabolous feat. Keri Hilson, Ryan Leslie - Everything, Everyday, Everywhere

I copped the Fabolous album yesterday and it’s good. It might be one of the best rap albums to come out this year. Fab has had a LONG career of consistency. His albums don’t be hip hop classics, but he’s never dropped a gem one year and coals the next. It’s all been costume jewelry, which works for a lot of people. I have yet to watch the Loso’s Way DVD. Maybe later today. Anyways, here is the second single.


Fab is half Dominican or atleast claims to be. So he STAYS with the fly Spanish mamis in his videos. I love it. And he be stylin on them hard. I’m feelin his LV shirt…wonder how much it will run me.

President Chavez doesn't like Colombia

In sad sad sad news, Venezuela has cut off diplomatic ties with Colombia. I don’t know what’s up President Hugo Chavez’s ass this time but apparently he’s mad because Colombia did somethin to offend him. He’s always offended. What I’m offended about is that he’s ended relations with someone I would consider a good ally for Venezuela. I mean, everyone knows the hottest women come from Brazil. Next is Argentina. But with Venezuela and Colombia workin together, they hold down the third spot maybe even the second spot. They need to put whatever differences they have aside and start exportin hot women otherwise they will both lose clout in any Miss Universe pageants.

Man ends up in garbage truck

I wonder if he thought he was “movin on up” by sleepin in a garbage truck instead of just a regular dumpster. Garbage trucks have always scared me since Child’s Play 3 when Chucky hits the lever for the compactor and crushes the garbage man in his truck. Has Child’s Play ruin a lot of your childhood? No My Buddy or Good Guy dolls. Anyways, I don’t really have a point to this post. I guess it’s Wednesday and I have nothin more to talk about.

Wild Wedding a YouTube hit...why?

Is this really news? If it wasn’t for that reporter’s sweet British accent, I wouldn’t have posted this. Ok, the dance was pretty amazing for white people…but who cares? Black people celebrate and it’s called bein foolish, white people celebrate and they get millions of hits on YouTube. Did I have to make this race related? Maybe not, but I’m feelin like Gates right now. I’ma pull the damn card. I mean first of all, who dances to a song by a person that beat up his girlfriend? Is that really the proper tone to set for a marriage? Chris Brown, Tina Turner, even the Jackson 5 aren’t gonna make it to the wedding playlist. Matter of fact, if the singer was married and divorced they aren’t getting played either. So no Usher. Side note, Chris Brown’s Forever is (or was for the past week) number one download on iTunes. So quickly how we forgive and forget…idiots.

Reggie and Kim dunzo

In sad news, Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian have called it quits. Their hectic schedules mean less time to see each other, so they are takin a break. Sad. But that means Kim’s fat ass is on the market, yessssssssssss! Ay yo Kim, hit me up. Let’s celebrate life together.

Olivia Munn dresses up for Comic Con

I was gonna post a bunch of big breasted, talentless, bimbos who are good to look at but not good to hear. Then I found a video of Munn at this year’s Comic-Con. I might drive down to San Diego and ask her to marry me. Where are all the cool women in LA at? It’s either move back to the East or take Olivia.

Video Game - E3 2009 - Attack of the Show

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Who is Erin Andrews?

Yes I’ve seen the Erin Andrews tape. No, I don’t care to share and no I don’t care for Erin Andrews. She’s not a regular on this site. She’s not so much of a celebrity as much as a hot reporter, so no…don’t ask.

Apple killed the radio so you could live

I hate when people needlessly complain about the same situations others have needlessly complained about. Such as radio stations playin the same music all the time. Or the variation: they hate that all the music on the radio lacks creativity and sounds the same. EVERYONE feels the need to complain about this like they are the FIRST person to do so. Listen, the radio is a medium used to make money. It’s a marketing tool. It’s not meant to be creative or meant to inspire. It’s used to get you to support an artist by buyin their album, requesting their videos, and seein their concerts. And just like with any other marketing tool, there are methods of increasing efficiency and gettin the most from your investment. The tried and true formula is the “party track”. This isn’t always a club banger but is widely accepted among different demographics. And every major artist on a major label has one. If you are tired of hearin the same sounding music THEN TURN THE FUCKING RADIO OFF. I never listen to the radio. I have a deck that connects directly to my iPod and that is what I play ALL THE TIME. And if I forget my iPod and nobody has an iPhone, then it’s the CD that gets spun. Stop fuckin complaining and purchase some kinda adapter so that you can play your tapes, cd, or mp3 player. The next alternative is satellite radio. You have enough options to stop with your bloodclot cryin. You don’t like the music being played then turn it off. Hum while you’re in the car.

T.O. wants the NFL Commissioner to go to jail

THANK YOU T.O.!!! I meant to Rant on this earlier but forgot. What kinda bullshit is that? A four game suspension? I think I’ma boycott the NFL for the first 4 games of the season and wish others would to, but that’s unlikely. Seriously, who else has been punished as severely for their crimes? What is the muthafuckin point? He’s been gone for like 2 seasons and now you wanna make it 2 seasons 4 days? That is so disgusting. Fuck them dogs. I ain’t a pet lover; I don’t see why dogs get better treatment than some humans. I don’t see how a man can kill a person from drunk driving and nobody issues him any letters or suspensions or jail time. I don’t wanna pull the race card but I’m pretty damn sure if Payton Manning got caught dog fighting, the worst thing that will happen is no more endorsements. No more MasterCard and Gatorade commercials. A suspension from the league? HA! Maybe if he did it now he would be punished just so that it can seem fair, but I doubt his punishment would be as harsh. I mean look at how much “backlash” Ben Roethlisberger has received…oh wait, he hasn’t. Everyone’s down playin it because it’s only ALLEGATIONS. But let ANY of the “thuggish” black football players have an allegation of rape thrown at them. Yo, we would know the girl, we’d have her picture blasted on TV, we’d have her address, she woulda been interviewed 100 times, and the commissioner woulda held a press conference. Hour-by-hour update on new information. Fuck the NFL and fuck the racist ass media.

Cops being cops

I’ma just copy and paste the description because, really what more can I say?

"These excerpts from a 30-minute video released by the Tazewell County Sheriff's Department on Tuesday show inmate Becky Behm, who was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving Oct. 17 in Creve Coeur, in a segregation cell in the Tazewell County Jail a few hours after her arrest. Tazewell County Sheriff Bob Huston attempted to have two correctional officers seen on the footage terminated for using excessive force"


Utterly disgusting.

911 caller never spoke with cops or mentioned race

Interesting. Gates said what was filed in the police report was inaccurate. Whalen says what was filed in the police report is inaccurate. Unless there is some conspiracy to bring Sgt. Crowley down, I’m gonna have to say that maybe he wasn’t truthful when writing up the report…and now, he has a black eye. Did Gates talk about Sgt. Crowley’s mama? Was he loud and belligerent? Makes you wonder. I still stand by my statement that the cops acted stupidly. Let’s see what happens as more unfolds.

Olivia Munn is my Wonder Woman

Here is Olivia Munn at Comic-Con dressed as Wonder Woman. Don’t really like the outfit…makes her look chubby. But a woman that doesn’t mind dressing up? I’d still marry her though. Plus it’s admirable the length she goes for her fans.

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

The end of days

It’s Monday and I’m still here…lucky you I guess. I’m tellin ya, you better savor this last week because I don’t know what may happen next week.

Bernanke brings hope

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke held a town hall meetin in Kansas City yesterday in which he addressed the Recession - the good, the bad, and the ugly. I would suggest clickin the link to get a jist of what was said. While I don’t trust the Federal Reserve, Bernanke’s statements are pretty much in line with my thoughts on how the government has handled the Recession. And his projections also seem on point. All in all, he came off more like a friend than a government worker tryin to slick talk the people into believing his promises. That’s somethin I don’t know if I appreciate or fear. I guess since he’s appointed and not really elected, we should have nothin to fear right? Eh who knows? What I do know is that unemployment is gonna rise before it falls. There will be more regulations put in place to make sure this never happens again. But isn’t that what they always say? Then some greedy white men (or black...hey don’t laugh. Blacks are startin to rise in the ranks. I give them 15 more years before they sit at the table with the big dogs. Not the biggest dogs, but with the big dogs) will figure out a sector to exploit and bring on another recession. Hmmm, I think the health sector looks ripe for the raping.

Black and White America

Ah, isn’t racism such a beautiful thing? I was readin some comments on the arrest of Henry Gates (the Harvard professor) and some of them didn’t really shock me but reminded me why race relations are still shitty today. Comments like the reason there are more blacks in prison is because they commit the most crimes. That racial profiling happens because blacks are always doin somethin illegal. Like really? Blacks commit more crimes? I guess Bernard Madoff must be half black or somethin. The reasons why blacks get incarcerated more has nothin to do with the volume of crimes committed but the lack of resources available to them. Blacks don’t have a lawyer on retainer willin to bust their ass and go through stacks of litigation to find a loop hole for their client to get off. No, most blacks have to use a public defendant who has a work overload and is gettin paid decent but not Cochran money so they don’t really feel invested in the outcome. And lest not forget that blacks have JUST RECENTLY started to enjoy their freedoms. I mean sure Lincoln abolished slavery, but it took the white man 100+ years to realllllly let go. And if you think there are some people who still don’t harbor bad feelings and raise kids to harbor the same feelings…well then you’re the worst perpetrator of racism: the ones who believe it doesn’t exist anymore. You know why racial profiling exists? Not because a certain race tends to be more criminal minded. It’s because of the old stereotypes associated with that race. In the 1890s, who do you think would be easier to stick a rape charge on? The “super aggressive, wants some milky white skin” African monkey or the educated, clean as a whistle white man? If someone told me that a quarter of the blacks incarcerated are wrongfully imprisoned, I’d believe it. Cops wanna feel like they’ve done a good job, but just like anyone else in the workforce, if they can take a shortcut then why not? Dave Chappelle joked that cops would sprinkle crack on a dead body so that they can write it up as a drug related killing; an open and shut case basically. And white people don’t know this because it never happened to them or they don’t know anyone it has happened to. So why would they distrust the cops? Why would they believe in racial profiling? A white person talkin about racism is like me tryin to talk about movie directing to Martin Scorsese. Yeah I’d have opinions and ideas, but at the end of the day I need to shut the fuck up and take a back seat when Marty speaks. My understanding of movies is so basic that I would hurt more than I would help if I was solely in charge of directing. So what’s the solution? Working together, duh. Only problem are the egos. I don’t think I’ve had a conversation about racism where a white person said “you know, I don’t know anything about being racially discriminated against.” They always try to make it seem like they can sympathize with the situations (or is that empathize? Always get it mixed up). Then there are some whites don’t feel like they should be labeled (or punished) for the actions of their forefathers. I say suck it the fuck up. Blacks have been labeled by the actions of your forefathers, so you better grin and bear it as well. I mean, the House JUST passed a Bill (or somethin) apologizing for slavery. Still waitin on the Senate to get onboard. Anyways, I’m done here. I do find it funny how a woman in Texas is claiming the state as her land. Like America didn’t snatch Texas from the Mexicans. SMH.

Fired because wife is porn star

So let me get this right. The logic used by the town is “your wife is a whore, so you can’t do your job”? What is wrong with people? I totally agree that it makes this town look more backwards and doesn’t make them any more family friendly than before. Matter of fact, I wouldn’t want to raise my kids around such close minded individuals. When are people gonna grow up and accept others for who they are? We’ll have a Taliban President before that happens.

Jennifer should change her last name

Am I disgusting because all I could think about was splashin her fluffy MILF cupcakes with my man frosting? Jeez, I’d do her in a heartbeat, no lie. I think I’m gonna rent American Pie now…then bake a pie after.

Marisa Miller proves beauty is only skin deep

Marisa Miller and her husband because this goes to show you that anything is possible. As long as you have money. Come to think of it...her, Lima, and Ambrosio all have subpar lookin husband. Maybe I do have a shot with Ebanks (after she grows out her hair).

Jessica Jane Clement is the model wife

Jessica Jane Clement because I wanna fill up my white girl quota for the week. And because I have readers on the other side of the pond to cater to.

Eva Longoria adds some spice to a vanilla day

Eva “I’m pretending to be married” Longoria is seen here with hubby Tony Parker of the San Antonio Spurs. I didn’t know Eva had a backside!?! I thought she was flatter than an ironing board. Maybe when she’s not shootin she’s allowed to grow it back out.

Katie Price makes me thirsty

Katie Price because boobs like that are worth seein on a Monday. I wonder if the bowtie tramp stamp means she’ll take it in the butt. Like her anus is a present for you.

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

I should work summer hours

Time to parrrtay!!! Good Friday everyone…let’s see if the posts will actually leave you feelin warm and fuzzy or pissed and thirsty for blood. I hate this shady world that we live in. I want it to be sunshine and rainbows…no Bruno.

Unmanned planes kill Bin Laden's son

Yayyy, we killed someone else that isn’t Osama. Seriously, are we even tryin? Is he that elusive that nobody can catch him? Do the people love him so much that nobody is willin to rat him out? On a positive note: the UAVs (the drone planes) are turnin out to be the shit!!! Soldiers don’t even have to be on the frontline, hell, they don’t even have to be in the same country as these drones and they just killin muthafuckas left and right. Like in the article it says that some of the solders operate out of a base in NEVADA!!! These dudes hit three targets in a row, feel lucky, then hit up the Vegas strip and try to extend their luck. That’s WAAAAY better than before where getting lucky meant not gettin a limb blown off or bein shot. That’s some good shit. Hopefully it doesn’t get outta hand and we have to deal with SkyNet…cue Terminator music.

FBI catches child molestor 15 years later

The FBI’s Most Wanted list has just been shortened. Federal agents apprehend Edward Eugene Harper who was on the top 10 list for child molestation. He jumped bail back in 1994 and had been livin as a nomad for the past 15 years. Living out his truck, he’s been makin a livin doin odd jobs. My only question is how many more girls did he molest in the past 15 years? I mean, it’s a good thing that he’s been caught but DAMN it took them forever. Even if he just touched one girl a year, that’s still 15 girls!!! The FBI needs to do a better job trackin down the people on their list. Maybe they should borrow some of the drones from the military.

 

Harper back in 1994

 

Harper yesterday...ewwww

"Stupid" cop speaks out

Here is a radio interview of the arresting cop in the Cambridge-Gates incident.

Well he sounds sincere and does have some valid points. I wish they got to a point in the interview that they asked why he arrested Gates, why didn’t he just let it be. It sounds like Sgt. James Crowley was just followin protocol. I’m willin to believe that Gates was a bit agitated before the cop even showed up. He just flew in from Beijing, he had a virus, and the front door of his home was damaged makin it hard for him to get in. Then here comes this cop askin all these questions at the wrong time. Neither one of them acted mature in this situation. And I know Obama is catchin some flak for his comments yesterday when he didn’t have all the facts and admitted he was biased. Hell, I was just about to give him shit for it right now. But then I re-read the quote and Obama said “that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home;” It is stupid to arrest someone that is already in their own home, regardless of how hot headed they might be. They didn’t call the cops. They didn’t ask you to step on their property. They proved to you they were in their homes and that’s all to it. Tell them to have a nice day and go grab some doughnuts.

Freida Pinto styles out in NYC

Freida Pinto in a hot dress lookin fly…butterfly. Yeah, bad joke. It’s Friday. You should be workin half day anyways in the summer.

Selita and Keri would be kicked outta bed

Selita Ebanks and Keri Hilson both rock the short ‘do. And both look like shit. I hate when beautiful women just chop off the locks and ruin their looks. Why doesn’t their stylist step in and tell them to let that shit grow out?

Emmanuelle Chriqui to wrap up

Emmanuelle Chriqui because Entourage is on this weekend and the past episodes have sucked. She has become my sole reason of watchin this season. That’s a pretty hot reason!!!

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!