Friday, October 31, 2008

Slutfest '08

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Life is gettin boring with no politics to talk about. I was given this interestin article about Obama and the types of Justices he may appoint to the courts. Haven’t built an argument around it yet, so wait till next week. Until then, enjoy this picture.
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Like father, like illegitimate son

This kid has a bright future ahead of him.



Like wow. How you gonna tell your kid to go fight the cop? I woulda punted that lil' rascal if I was the Po-Po. Hopefully with Obama as President this kid can believe in himself and have a future.
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If she were a boy...wait a second, she is!

Rumor has it that one of the dancers in Beyonce’s new video (Single Ladies) is a guy. Watch the video, pause it around the 1:54 mark and look at the dancer on the left. Then start the video over and watch that dancer. Look at the arms on that beast. That ain’t no girl. Unless she works out the Williams sisters.



B definitely has the best choreographers tho. The video is tight when not lookin at the tranny. And I watched the If I Was A Boy video…yea, she a 10. Don’t know bout an 11. But see that’s the thing. You can’t be havin on and off days if you a 10. She a solid 8, maybe 9 if I’m feelin nice. I’m still partial to Ms. Union I guess.
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A great personality

Olivia Munn is like a cute Sarah Silverman. I love it. A girl that can poke fun at herself is always a winner. A cute girl that can poke fun at herself is a keeper.





Lol, this girl…
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A nice booty

Jessica Biel is should be the blueprint of what a girl’s body should be like. Of course bigger breasts and a little thickness never hurt anyone, but this is what every girl should strive to be and work from. Now if we could do somethin about her face.
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And a cute face

Abigail Clancy should loan Biel her face. I wanna date an English girl, that accent gets me harder than a diamond in an ice storm.
 
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Crazy bitch Madonna

It seems Madonna is lookin pretty shitty in the public eye nowadays. Good, that’s what that bitch gets! Now it appears her Kabbalah spiritual leaders have told her to play nice with Guy and seem to want the divorce to go in Guy’s favor. Apparently Guy is their favorite. Which doesn’t make sense to me, because I thought Guy wasn’t big on Kabbalah, so who knows how credible this is. What does make more sense is a rumor that Madonna had a marriage contract with Guy on how he could behave. In this alleged contract were things like: the number of dates they would go on, how often they had sex, and certain words that couldn’t be used when they argued. With the exception of the last one, I would say living with Madonna musta been a nightmare and a half. Probably 2 nightmares. You ever wake up from a nightmare and go back to sleep, JUST TO CONTINUE THE SAME NIGHTMARE?!? Yea, that’s what livin with Madonna is like.
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She should buy a new body

I used to find Nikki Hilton the more attractive of the two Hilton sisters. Now she’s blonde, fat, and flat chested…but the other one has herpes. Which one would you pick? The ugly (uglier) duckling or the one who would make your penis fall off upon insertion? Tough choice to make.
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Final entry for this week

I think Katie Holmes wins best costume for her zombie look. The makeup is done so nicely and…wait a minute. That’s not a costume, that’s just her lookin tired after doing all those Broadway shows. Dammmmn. That bitch is a mess.




















A ton of pictures of girls in costumes from Halloween parties should flood in this weekend, so be on the lookout for that. And CoCo has promised us some nudity (if that’s your kinda thing). Time to get some tricks to treat.








The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Thursday, October 30, 2008

TIme to put on a white sheet and scare people...

So it draws closer to Halloween, and I’m still without a costume. This sucks. I don’t even know what I’ma do that night. It’s Hollywood though, so I’ma find some trouble to get into. Just don’t know if it’s gonna be in a club or on the streets. This is gonna be a real shallow Rant. A) It’s late B) I’m tired. And C) I’m allowed a bad day per week. You try doing this every day.
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O.G. Yoda

I’m gonna start your morning off RIGHT with this video.


Jar Jar and CP3O may have had the funniest verses. “You’re just jealous my black dick bigger”
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It's finally over, now onto real sports

Phillies are World Series champs. Good for them. They aren’t the Yankees or the Dodgers, so I don’t really care. And if this is news to you, than that must mean you don’t care either. But when someone asks about baseball, you can feign interest by mentioning this tidbit. Oh yea, say somethin about how crazy it got rain delayed twice. And mention Phillies really dominating and basically sweepin the Rays. That will make it look like you care. I know I have one reader that likes baseball, and they will prolly post a comment. A mean one. I don't care, it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to...I mean, not cry. Or maybe I will cry, but good tears. Not the bad ones...lmao.
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The name is Tenant, The Tenant

It’s almost November so that can mean one thing. The slowest Black Friday in history? Probably. Increased turkey consumption? Yes, but not what I’m lookin for. A new Jay-Z album? Maybe, does anyone have any info if that’s true? A new Bond movie? YES! Quantum Solace drops next month and as James Bond fan (who owns the entire collection, even the made for TV one and original Casino Royale (I know) ) I am eagerly hyped for this film. Well, I was. Because I remembered, I don’t like the direction the Bond films are going. First off, a sequel? Since when did Bond not complete a mission in one movie? No gadgets? Commmmmmmmmmmme on, that really kills me. Rough around the edges, no suaveness to him. Seriously, the only reason the last movie did so well was because IT WAS A GOOD MOVIE. It was a TERRIBLE Bond movie, but it was a good movie. I felt more like I was watchin a movie in which the name of the main character was James Bond, instead of watchin a Bond movie. Think about it. The main character coulda been Peter Parker and the movie will still have kicked ass. I’m still gonna see the movie, but I’m still pissed Craig is signed on to do 4 more movies. Enough of this early days Bond shit. Bring back Q, bring back the cocky and funny bastard that I wanted to grow up to be.
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Cross dressing is never cute

Katy Perry decided to dress up as a guy for Halloween so that she could kiss girls…but wait, doesn’t she already kiss girls? I think she’d have a better chance of makin out with a girl as Katy Perry than dressed up as a poor Indonesian man’s Luigi. I do respect the fact she holdin a black dudes hand (I knew she was into the “urban guys” as Ms. O’Day put it). But that is the homo-est lookin Tupac I’ve ever seen in my life. Sugary ass thug life.
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The hottest Ninja Turtle ever

To get that foul taste out your mouth with the previous post, here is a post with some WWE Divas all dressed up and nowhere to ho. HAHAHA, I like that. I’m post that on someone’s Halloween picture on facebook. That comment is actually beyond just Halloween usage. Any time a girl is dressed like a slut, that’s what I’ma say.
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If she were a boy, I'd be livin in West Hollywood

Here is some Beyonce because I haven’t posted a black chick in a while. You know. A couple years back, I said that Beyonce wasn’t the hottest black girl around. And I almost got jumped…by the KKK of all people. But look at her. She cute, don’t get me wrong. But there is just somethin off about her. Can’t put my finger on what it is. Can anybody help me out?













































The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Cheaters never win

I hate when the barber cuts my waves out…ow. I’m so ready for Halloween, and I know what I wanna be. But I haven’t purchased the accessories and I think I may end up being assed out because I waited until the last minute. O well. Now that I switched up the commenting format I woulda thought more people would leave me messages of wisdom and wishing me prosperity. Instead I get the same old readers still droppin they knowledge on me. I’m grateful for them, but come on, I know I have more than 3 intelligent readers.

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Hudson update

Autopsy on the Hudson boy came in. Shot 7 times. Wow. 7. If I lived in Chicago I would give up my job and hunt this person down. Fuck bringin em to court. There is no justice for this. I don’t even know what I would do to this person. I wouldn’t kill them. Not for at least 10 years. I would just taser them at random times. I would either taser, punch with brass knuckles, brand (with a hot iron of course), or peel off a thin layer of their skin (think of skinning a grape) and pour an alcohol/salt mixture in their wounds. And it would all random. During random parts of the day. For as long as I could keep them alive.
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Dad saves son from Mountain Lion, cuts hand while doing the dishes


Kudos to the dad for saving his son, but couldn’t he just lie and say the cat attacked him and that’s how he got the injuries? LMAO. How he gonna show us all the wounds and talk about he was chasin the mt. lion and then blacked out, and make it seem like he was in the fight for his life when all he did was trip over a pipe? Lol. That lion musta looked back and said, “look at this bitch ass nigga here. He gonna chase me all this way just to fall on his face? He lucky I ain’t even hungry; I would eat his ass up no homo.” Lmao.
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Economics 101

Maybe it makes more sense when McCain says it:
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Is it funny cuz she's white?

Speakin of homo. Look at what the boys in West Hollywood did.


These fags, I tell ya. That shit ain’t artisitic homeboy. It’s not in the spirit of Halloween either. It’s just wrong. I don’t like Palin as a candidate, but I respect her as a person and wouldn’t want to see her hung for any reason. They need to take that shit down and check themselves. When I heard Sarah Palin was "hanging out" I was kinda hoping for a NippleGate fiasco.
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Political cartoon

When I first saw this pic, I thought it was Powell being a back stabber for endorsing Obama. Silly me. Obviously if that were the case, it would show Powell stabbin someone in the back. I guess because Powell talked against the war in Iraq and the Bush administration made him a scapegoat (the black man always the scapegoat) by sayin he gave them faulty information, he decided to return the favor by voting for Obama. Clearly it isn’t about race, lol.
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Wait for it...

LMAO, I’m just waitin for the backlash from the black community “Why Powell gotta be drinkin Kool-Aid?”, “Why can’t he be drinkin what white people drink?' Personally I find this picture hilarious, because everyone (non-whites) knows that Grape flavor is black people's favorite. Maybe he is drinkin the Kool-Aid. Or maybe he still scathing from the Bush Administration. Either way, enjoy.
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Scene from Who's Nalin' Paylin

Here is Thandie Newton and Ricky Gervais reenacting a scene from the new political porn, Who’s Nailin' Paylin?
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Build-A-Bitch

Ewwww Holly Madison shows that beauty does come with a price tag. So guys, get rich because if you never meet the girls of your dreams you can always find one with "a nice personality" and make her cute!

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New yoga outfits

Nadine Velazquez isn’t my favorite Latina, but any woman that can touch her toes is a winner in my book.
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Celebrity Costumes: 1st entry

Amy Wine…wait, that’s not Amy Winehouse! That’s everyone favorite ex-supermodel turned super milf Cindy Crawford. She might have the best costume already. I wish I was that creative.
























The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

It's a long one (that's what she said)

I’m currently generating power for my laptop with two hamsters running in one of the exercise wheels. How did I get the hamsters? I stole them from a classroom in an elementary school. That’s the kinda risks I take to put this shit out there for you. I don’t know how long the hamsters will last so we gotta make this quick.
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RIP baby Hudson

I wanna send a “Kill Yo Self” to the person that caused all this grief for the Hudson family. Now they found Jennifer’s 7 year old nephew dead. Correction. Don’t kill yourself. That would be too easy for you. If the police let me, I’m willing to donate these two hamsters to whoever can get them up your ass. On some Richard Gere shit. Actually, no, because the hamsters didn’t do anything. I just saw the latest Indian Jones movie and I’m thinkin we get those ants. That’s what we need to do. Go down to South America, find those ants and toss his (or her) body right onto the ant hill. Despicable ass muthafucka.
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Is this Africa?

On some real retarded shit, an 8 year old is dead for shootin himself in the head with an Uzi. It was by accident while firing the gun at a gun fair. He was under “adult supervision” (who, Stevie Wonder?) when the recoil turned the gun on him and he suffered severe injuries. Wow. Why are you lettin an 8 year old shoot an Uzi and why aren’t you right behind him helpin him hold the damn gun. Grown men can’t handle the recoil on a submachine gun, how you gonna let an 8 year old shoot one? This ain't Africa or the Middle East where kids come out the womb with a glock. Send the “adult supervision” to the ants too.
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A Maverick till the end

When the pressure is on, you really get to see what some people are made of. Obviously the Republican camp is made of Lego blocks. According to CNN (super liberal media, I know) the McCain camp is sayin that Palin is goin off the reservation and has “gone rouge”. She’s startin to answer questions on her own and doesn’t seem to inline with McCain on certain ideals. You don’t say. Kudos to Palin for finally becoming her own woman. I already stated that she was just eye candy and wouldn’t have any real say, but it appears that she is now realizing this (perhaps due to the dismal poll numbers, which I also called) and she wants to set herself up for a Senator position? OR maybe she's takin this "maverick" thing too far. Either way, this type of unravelin isn’t what you need when you’re losing. The Obama-Michelle sex tape should make its way to the internet by this weekend.
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Senator Palin?

Yesterday a jury found Sen. Ted Steven guilty of 7 counts of corruption charges. What state was the senator from you ask? Well well, it appears he represents…ALASKA!!! Now, there are all types of jokes and conclusions I could draw from this. But I’m gonna go with the less obvious. Now the post above, with Palin being a rogue, I wrote two nights ago (I needed to have some backup posts just in case I could do any for today). So when I said that she was gonna make a run for a seat in the Senate, I WAS COMPLETELY SHOOTIN THE SHIT. But now with this news to light, maybe I’m onto somethin. Another reason to read the Rant, because I can see into the future (kinda).
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Obama assassins

The first set of men have been charged in a plot to kill African Americans and Obama (pictures of the skinheads in the link). And I say first set, because the fact of the matter is, the Secret Service will have never worked so hard in their life. Maybe they should get the Nation of Islam to protect him. HAHAHAHAHA white people will have a heart attack. Might as well have Wu-Tang Clan protect him, they all know the Shaolin arts. If Obama wants stricter gun control laws, it's not because he's so liberal, it's because he doesn't want these kinds of people to be able to pick him off while 3 football fields away!! And while this may surprise my Caucasian readers (the whole, there are still white people that wanna kill black people thing), I’m pretty sure all my other readers kinda expected it. Hell, even Chris Rock is a bit weary of Regis (at the end they show the clip from Kill The Messenger)
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Terror Alert Red

Where is Vida’s ass? I know it ain’t the jeans, because Levi’s don’t make mom jeans that could cover that ass. So where is it? Who stole it? This is a national crisis.
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Just another day

Everyone knows that Halloween is a holiday created by nuns in order to allow them to dress slutty for one day (I think the day was called Hallowhore or Hoween, but it didn’t have a good ring to it). So when you dress like a slut EVERYDAY then what the hell do you dress up as for Halloween? The [former] Girls Next Door show us exactly what to do. Except for Holly, who is dressed up as “a girl on her period.
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Straight shot

I never talk much about Tila Tequila because I’ve always felt she was a nobody that became famous through the internet and now is an over glorified celebrity. Here are pictures of my idol:
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Mama Richie

Well well well, it looks like we are going two for two on nobodies makin the Rant today. Here is Nicole Richie showin off the benefits of pregnancy. I mean, what was it, like 2-3 years ago? The woman look like if you squeezed her breasts you break her back. Now if you squeezed them you’d look like one of those girls on those extreme cum shot porn sites!
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Anti Gravity tank tops

The only real reason I’m posting these pics is because I can admire a woman that coordinates when takin out the trash. (If you click on the pics, you may see a little more than you want to if you’re at work, so becareful)
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Brown Suga

I hope Halle’s new hairdo is for her costume, yikes!
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Some Daddy Yankee Doodle

This is one of the songs played during torture in G Bay.

I know there is a Hell.

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Monday, October 27, 2008

Now with a comment box!

Last week a dedicated reader claimed that I don’t listen to the needs of my fans. Shockin right? How could she slap! Lol. Well feel free to leave any comments you want BECAUSE ITS RIGHT BELOW THE POSTS NOW!!! YEEEE-HAAW! And you say I don’t listen. I say you don’t pay me to work this hard!! Enjoy. Side note: I think the lack of sun is affecting my eating. I’m always hungry earlier now…what gives? Side-side note: My work laptop hasn’t been charging properly and I may be without a computer while I’m outta town. So there may not be a Rant for Tuesday. I know, boo hoo.
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McCain takes a beating in the polls so you don't have to

In true Republican desperation, a girl in PA claimed to be attacked by a black man in front of the ATM for being a McCain supporter. I don’t really wanna waste my breath on this situation. Obviously the shit was made up, as you can see by her Halloween makeup . What really annoys me is the whole “attacked by a black man” shit. This is another reason I want Obama to win, so that people can stop seein African Americans as thugs, because if you really want me to get serious I’ll do post on white criminals ALLL DAY. She coulda said an Irish dude beat her up; they are very aggressive especially when drunk. A Mexican coulda beat her up, they do it to piƱatas. Did she think her story would be more believable if it was a black person that assaulted her? Sick. Her story might have been more believable if she drew the 'B' correctly.
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Fair and balanced coverage

I was just surfin the web because Madden ’09 was pissin me off (how a THIRD string QB gonna have an 80% completion rate and throw no interceptions against my aggressive Dallas defense? That Madden AI is bullshit) and I saw an article about how another well known Republican has switched camps and voted for Obama already. But he’s not of interest, I don’t rant on intelligent people lol. I read a comment that asked why the liberal media don’t cover the fact that the Obama Campaign Cuts Off Interviews With Florida TV Station. I figured; alright let’s see where the source of this is. If I told you, you wouldn’t click the link. Go figure it was them. But anyways the comments are on and off topic like expected, but what really bothered me is that some commentators are makin it seem like Biden didn’t finish the interview and stormed off or somethin. Or he couldn’t stomach the tough questions. Yeah, he was clearly irritated with the lady just mingling words and tryin to attack Obama, but he still answered the questions (though not with the same grace as Obama would). Anyways watch the video and tell me if the lady was just posing tough questions or stupid ones. I don’t think they were tough, they were just Republican. Askin about affiliations instead of askin about policy changes.


Anyone with a real sense of how the world works, would know that Obama isn’t going to make America any more socialist than it has been since the 80s and 90s (ok, maybe a little bit, but that’s to provide balance). You can’t have 8 years of the rich gettin richer and middle class getting poor. Cuz then it throws the system off. Companies don’t hire more employees because the tax breaks gives them more money. They just pocket the extra. And we already know how the poor act when they have nothin to lose. You don’t want Joe Six-pack or Joe the Plumber to become Joe the Armed Robber because he doesn’t have enough money to feed his kids.
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The Man

Another point I wanna make is a bit on the conspiracy side. I’m not into conspiracy theories and such but I would be a fuckin fool to believe that I hold equal power with the people that really run this country. I think it’s easy for me to acknowledge that because I’m not white. White people think they hold the same amount of power as the next white person because their white. Nah. You don’t. There are some people that are so bent on their causes and their goals being reached, that they don’t care who they have to step over to reach them. And that’s how I feel this country runs. I kinda think that the powers that be, had the Republicans choose McCain and the Democrats choose Obama. I mean seriously, a black man with the name Barack Hussein Obama (You would think that was a shot in the foot for Democrats. And please don’t tell me that Democrats are stupid or blind. Look at the electoral map and see which states are red and which are blue. There are more college grads in the state of California (in San Francisco) than all the red states combined. Keep it real., I think they are well aware of Obama's associations)? Maybe they felt the Democrats needed to win this election to restore some sort of balance to further their goals. Maybe they didn’t want the middle class to feel the pressure so much that they tore the system down. Maybe that’s why they didn’t let Gore win. Maybe we don’t know who bombed the towers (we worked with Bin Laden once before). Now before you go shootin at the mouth and callin me anti-American just remember that you could be livin next to a serial rapist and not know it until the FBI bust down his door and hauls him off. What makes you think you know what the superpowers are doin behind closed doors? Of course all this could be bullshit and my vote really counts towards something lol. Then again, if the Rant isn’t updated for the rest of the week you know they got me.
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Overnight Celebrity

Now Joe the Plumber wants to be Joe the Politician. In this age of reality TV and superstars over night, I wouldn’t be surprised if VH1 or MTV (or would it be Fox News and CNN?) made a show “I Want To Run For Congress”. It would take 3 ordinary people and 3 people with political backgrounds and make them compete in tasks so that they could get their names on the ballots for Nov ’10 elections!!! That is so my idea, if you see it on TV let me know so I can sue.
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Final Thoughts

Last week I said I was on the fence about giving gays rights and letting them be married. Well quoting a dedicated reader of the Rant, Mr. Kopax: “I say let the faggots get married. Straight people have been makin a mockery of the institution of marriage to the tune of a 50% divorce rate.” Lol. I think I’ma just stay away from that and deal with issues that affect me. And if you haven’t seen it, Chris Rock’s Kill The Messenger special on HBO, find a way to see it. Hilarious. I saw the comedy tour live and the HBO special didn’t miss a beat.
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RIP Mama Hudson

Here at the Rant we would like to send our condolences to the Hudson family during these tough times.

The Rant Is Due
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Friday, October 24, 2008

I work harder than the sun, so I'm the center of the universe

AHHHH, fall equinox is here!!! Right? When is the official first day of fall? Shit, it was back in September? Well palm trees don’t shed leaves alright? So excuse me for being out the loop. But the sun must be striving for the worst employee of the quarter award. Shows up late and leaves early. I can’t stand this early darkness. I’m movin to Alaska…that way I can always have the sun and keep an eye on Russia. There is an internet wildfire rumor going that women are shavin their coochies in protest of the current administration ("Read our lips, no more bush" is the tagline). If any of my readers are doing this, then please submit your pics to therantisdue@gmail.com. Your photo will not be posted, just used for my benefit lol.
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McSame

I knew that he was just a puppet, McCain finally tells people how he really feels!
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Straight homophobic

I have no problem with gay people at all. They can do whatever they feel like doing. I don’t have any gay friends though, but the reason is I don’t know any non-flamboyant ones. Take for instance this kid I went to school with wanted to be friends with me on Facebook. I didn’t know he was gay when I accepted him, but after I found out I was like “ok, cool. My first gay friend.” I took him off the list in 2 weeks. When you start posting pics of men with they asses hanging out, or havin status messages that just….Take for instance (lol) we have a mutual (straight) friend who just changed his status message to: “Makin heads bobble” and then the gay friend makes a comment: “I do that too” Ewwwww. Maybe I do have a problem with gay people (guys, not lesbians). And I don’t know if I’ma vote on Prop 8 (expanding the definition of marriage to include gays) because while God says to love all His children, does that mean that we acknowledge their anti-Christian lifestyle?
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Smaller graduating class

In a senior prank that went wrong, 50 students in a Midwest high school may have been exposed to HIV. Either that or someone is having a great senior year, lol. But seriously, what kinda fuckery is that? I guess a lot of fuckery!!! Hahahahaha. Alright I’m done. Um, that’s kinda scary. One girl said her boyfriend (that attends another school) broke up with her because of the issue (can't blame him for lookin out for his dick). The school isn’t commenting on how the scare began, how it might have spread, and is protecting the students identites. I hope the parents get more information than the media, because if my child came home with HIV, I’m killin someone’s parents.
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Second Life sentence

Leave it to the Japanese to start killin each other in virtual worlds. A woman was arrested for killin her husband in the virtual world “Maple Story” after he filed for divorce from her (in real life). I didn’t even know you get arrested for killing a digital being. Do you know how many tamagotchi pets died in my care? Kiddin, I loved my tamagotchi. I would walk em and poop em and play with them. My parenting skills were untouchable. But I guess there are laws in the digital world that spill over to the real, because later in the article it mentions how a woman in Delaware was arrested for plottin to kidnap her boyfriend she met on “Second Life”. Do you get put in a virtual jail or real one? Sounds like we need a department to manage the digital world before it gets outta hand right? O but that would be just makin the government bigger and we don’t want that, lol.
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Say no to drugs

David Chappelle wrote this shit right? This has to be a skit.


A woman from Buffalo, NY (whoop whoop) was sentenced for a year probation…because…her baby…ate some crack cocaine. Hahahahahaha. That’s a new definition for crack baby. How you let your baby just wander around drugs like that? Where are the drug dealers or the crack addicts at this time? You had to suck 3 dicks for that crack, you ain’t gonna let your baby just eat it. Maybe it will be a lesson for you, feed your baby first, and then buy crack. Obviously it was a lesson for the lady because she cleaned up nicely and the judge felt like she was tryin to better herself so that was the reason for the lenient sentencing.
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Still say no to drugs

But black people aren’t the only dumb criminals. A teenage beauty queen was arrested for pullin a “Dine & Ditch” maneuver. She basically left the restaurant without payin the bill. She said the service was too slow and that’s why she bailed. And I feel her on that. Sometimes you be done eatin and the server takes like 15 minutes before they bring the bill. Sometimes I feel like running. But if I was gonna leave, I wouldn’t leave MY FUCKING WALLET there or some weed. But that’s what this genius did. She left her purse with her ID in it and a small bag of weed. This is why you shouldn’t do drugs. Because it makes you stupid. Ok. Let’s just break all this down. If you gonna ditch on a bill, YOU NEVER LEAVE YOUR SHIT THERE. What kinda girl leaves without her purse? They should really call them arm-purses (arses?) the way girls are stuck to them. Then she leaves it with her ID in it. Not only that, but she forgot the drugs too!!! How do you forget the drugs? You could forget your purse, but what did you plan on smokin after? You know what? They were prolly high already. And there was nothin in the fridge, so they went to a restaurant to help with the munchies. Case solved. Stupid bitch. Now she had to give up her crown 10 days before her term was over.
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Olivia Munn Complex video

I should start watchin Attack of The Show for Olivia Munn because she is another tiny obsession of mine. While she’s not overly attractive (the subtle cuteness is a plus) what really draws me to her is willingness not to take herself too seriously. Her is a video from her Complex photo shoot (kudos to Complex magazine for pullin some top tier babes).
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Ugly Lohan

Lindsay Lohan doesn’t wear any underwear. No shocker there right? Haha, shocker. But for the cast of Ugly Betty, it might have been more than the lack of underwear that annoyed them. As you may or may not have heard, Lohan is suppose to guest star on 6 episodes but due to egos and all other drama it’s been cut down to 4. One of the issues involves a scene which, as quoted by Page Six, “was about how Lohan, playing Betty's high school nemesis, would "de-pants" Ferrera. But Ferrera exacts her revenge and pulls down Lohan's pants instead. "Lindsay wasn't wearing any underwear," Of course she isn’t wearing underwear, it’s easier to scissor her lover that way.
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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Fashion week (or day)

Black gloves makes any girly dress look tough. Exhibit A) Mena Suvari. Love it.




















Showin your bra off is very sexy, when you have breasts. When you don’t, you look like Skeletor in a dress. Exhibit B) Eva Herzigova. Hate it.




















Everything about this next outfit works, except the Keeley’s face. Exhibit C) Keeley Hazell. Hate it.





















I’m pretty sure I seen this outfit in an older 007 flick. A better boob job would make this outfit work. Exhibit D) Mel B (aka Scary Spice). Eh it.























The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Just one more day, then FRIDAY!

I was lookin at other blogs today (as I do every day) and I noticed how everyone is really PC (politically correct) as far as mainstream blogs are concerned (the ones with the ads and the blog networks). One of these days, I’m gonna sell out. Lol. You already know it’s comin so don’t act surprised. I ain’t doin this shit so my voice can be heard, I’m doin it to get paid. And when that day comes, there will be no more talk on politics or using the word ‘nigga’, callin Koreans and Mexicans bad drivers, or callin people gay, or using cuss words. So appreciate this muthafuckin hell of a blog to the fullest. Save posts on your hard drive so when you feel nostalgic you can re-read the good ole days. Read the Rant everyday like it’s the last day you’ll ever read the realest blog on the planet. Shake and bake!!!
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Almost over

So McCain is runnin at the mouth again talkin bout US enemies may test Obama but they won’t test him. Hahaha. I’ve said this multiple times and people prolly disgusted by me for sayin this but, why would I want a leader who has been captured to lead me into battle? Obviously he ain’t have the smarts in military school (almost last in his class) to know that if the enemy has ground to air ballistics, you don’t fly over their land (he musta slept through that class). Let me stop pickin on McCain. That’s some 50 Cent-Ja Rule shit. Instead let me remind you that in 12 days I will either be Rantin I shoulda voted Republican (lol, just kiddin) or living on an island in Indonesia.



I know I’m not suppose to pick a President based on who is a better dancer, but damn, wouldn’t it be great to just have a fun president back in office (like Bill in his Saxophone days?)
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Cop tasers kid at underage drinking party


Well, here is the new King of Stupid. Population: how many Republicans are there again? Lol.
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Tiny Wayne

Lil’ Wayne had a baby boy named Dwayne Carter III. He named his child after his album, The Carter III. No clue who the baby mama is, but there is a crazy amount of speculation going around with the Wheel of Suspects landing on Nivea, but after readin her wiki and how the broad got enough baby daddies, I’ma switch gear. According to a comment on US Magazine’s post, some no name broad is the mama. Either or, who cares. It’s just somethin for you to pitch at the water cooler today.
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More Angie candids

So remember how Brad took some pics of Angie? Well there are some NSFW ones here
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Madonna divorce gets ugly

It looks like Madonna and Guy’s divorce is gonna be a messy one. What is with the Brits and public ugly divorces? They have children for cryin out loud. That can read tabloids and surf the internet and have friends whose parents gossip around them and they bring that shit to school. It’s soooo stupid. So selfish. That’s why I oppose celebrities having kids (unless they have them with me). They are way too egotistical to think about another being’s life. I really oppose when they adopt. Tryin to make the world a better place my ass (except Jolie, that lady is a saint so you watch your mouth when you talk about her.) I hate when they kidnap African babies from the orphanage and parade them in front of the media. That’s why I fuck with Guy in this battle. He never wanted that gorilla baby in the house and I don’t blame him. They (actually just Madonna) needed to fix themselves before tryin to help others. I wish the old hag would go away.
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Annie again

In continuation with my new found obsession, here is Anne Hathaway in a shade I prefer:
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Ew

A Keeley Hazell I don’t prefer, which to be honest with you, is anytime she is fully clothed. But what is up with her face?:
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Lori hotness

Remember Uncle Jesse’s wife on Full House? Here she is in milf perfection.
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9021-oh word?

Jennie Garth has a booty? You be the judge.
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This woman's work(ing it in the pool)

The following video is really NSFW, but the soundtrack is hilarious.


I didn’t even watch all 14 minutes of this shit. I have other things to jerk off to. But just hearing a Woman’s Work while watchin CoCo (Ice-T’s wife/hoe whatever he calls her) apply sun screen had me rollin on the floor. I pray to GOD that Ice-T isn’t behind that Maxwell sample. Just too funny.

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

When do I get paid for this?

We are back in effect today on the Rant. Actually, were not. It’s late, I’ve had a long day and I just don’t feel like shit talkin. But I love you all sooooo much, I will try my best. If you don’t like it, then feel free to visit this just as funny site here.
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Gotcha bitch

If you a reading this post because it is the next one after the intro, then skip it. This message isn't for you.

However, if you are reading this post because you clicked the link in the intro to go to another site:Haha bitch, how dare you try to leave the Rant. You ungrateful bastard. I’m gonna track the IP address of everyone that clicked that link and personally slap you in the face. As punishment, look at this flamboyant showing of “I’m too rich, I don’t know what to do with myself”. It’s about the equivalent of when I dipped my dick in gold (which burned like hell, but its solid gold and always hard. Ladies like that).
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