Friday, May 29, 2009

Good luck and good day!

Yeaaaahhhh, it’s frizzy-i-day! You know what that means: Good Friday!!! What a long and tough week!!! Lol. Have a great weekend!
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Fabolous - It's My Time

Got two Fabolous videos for you. The first is for his single “It’s My Time”. The song is great and the video is cool:


It looks like the art of mini movie videos are back again. Will Loso’s Way be the ’09 Street’s Is Watchin? Not too sure. I will say this, Fab is a highly underrated rapper (and this is comin from a guy who HATED the first album). He never makes album that stick tho, but his flow is ridiculous.
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Fabolous - Throw It In the Bag

Second video is for the other single “Throw It In The Bag”:


Now this is kinda weird. Why would you bail out a chick just cause she’s hot? I mean if she gonna steal from the store, she’ll prolly steal from you. Nobody wants a thievin ass bitch as a wifey. It must be nice to be so rich that if a bitch steals from you, you don’t care. Not me. I’m cuttin off her hands!
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The Dream feat. Kanye West - Walking On the Moon

You know it’s a real Good Friday when I got THREE music videos for that ass! I’m not a big fan of “Walking On the Moon” by The Dream (feat. Kanye).


It just doesn’t vibe with me. Kanye’s verse is ehhhh, better than the heartbreak shit he was on first qrt (and he finally cut his damn hair!!!). And the video isn’t that original. I mean, if The Dream wasn’t fuckin Christina Milian I would think he was gay. Did you see the look he gave the camera with his glasses off? Maybe this is why he hides behind shades ALLL the time. The high pitched notes don’t help his case either.
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Flight 1549 passengers get stuff back


That is a great story. Kudos to the pilot again for makin such an excellent landing. With the details of the Continental flight emerging, you just have to appreciate the great pilots that are out there. Anyways, I know these people are glad to have their stuff back. It’s amazing how “fresh” they’ve kept people possessions. It’s almost as if they were never in the water to begin with…I wish cell phone companies used the same technology so that I don’t have to buy a new phone every time I drop one in the pool!
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Pastor Cutie leaves the church for another


Any priest that is having sex but not with little alter boys is a winner in my book! I still don’t understand what the problem is? That’s why I don’t rock with Catholics. I don’t understand which version of the Bible they read…it must be the King LeBron James version because it doesn’t make any sense. If a priest fell in love and wanted to marry, what is wrong with that? Nobody in the Bible was married and had kids? Did God say anyone that serves me can’t be married? Why? Is God jealous? THAT WOULD MAKE HIM GAY!!! And then you have another wrench thrown in the mix. I’m happy for Pastor Cutie (fuck the accent. Oh wait, I just called another man Cutie…does that make me gay? Does that make me God? Oh boy, the Rant is going straight to hell for this one. See ya on the other side!) and I will PRAY that him and his new boo get married and have a family. Wouldn’t it suck if she ended up dumpin him? “I thought we were being naughty, having sex with a Father. But now, the thrill is gone.” Ouch!
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Help catch this idiot before he hurts himself


Mannnnnnn, this dude ain’t tough. You see he came up in the store and got bitch made quickly. How you gonna try to rob someone and let them take your weapon? Idiot.
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Cops protect and serve themselves again


Oh this is good, because hopefully it means less idiot cops walkin the beat. Why do they say “walkin the beat”? It should be “walkin to beat” since that’s all cops are good for. They just walk around lookin for someone to pick on. Mon-keees!!!
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Emily Scott turned me to stone...between my legs

Here is Emily Scott (who?) on the cover of Ralph (again, who?) There are no way those are her real eyes. Either they're contacts or the beauty of computer aided photography. If I met a girl with piercing green eyes like that, I would marry her on the spot. No questions asked. She could be a hoe, she could have no legs, she could be into dogs…hmmm, that might be too far. But then she’d lock her green eyes into mine and I’ll quit blogging and become a dog catcher.

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Gabrielle Union to start the weekend

Gabrielle Union because she is my FAVORITE kind of chocolate. I personally think she’s hotter than Beyonce, but in my circle of friends that’s blasphemy.




I’m done, have a good weekend.
The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Rant's public service announcement

While I didn’t wanna point fingers yesterday in the wake of Exdous Tyson’s death, I’m not used to holdin back for too long. I’m not gonna bash the mother but what I will say is what I’ve always said: If you not watchin your child, then your child is in danger. Children that young require adult supervision at all times. That’s my PSA. Actually, I have another announcement. Don’t you hate it when you clip your fingers short but now you can’t properly scratch yourself or pick your nose? I should invent somethin that you can you to pick your nose when you’re nails are too short. Like nail extenders or somethin.
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These are the CHAMPIONSSSSS

Congrats to FC Barcelona on winning the Champions League final against Manchester United. I guess it proves that South American style soccer beats English style. More passing, more finesse…that’s what I’ve always been taught. I guess I’ma Man U fan by default…my roommate likes them. I’m more interested in national teams because clubs are based off the money so the more you have, the better your club. I wish players were limited to club choices of their nationality. Show some pride damn it…sike. I’d be all about the money too lol.
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Pass The A1


LMAO. Get him Arnold. Glad to see this infighting won’t cease anytime soon. I think the Republicans are onto somethin. When you wanna improve the ratings for a reality show, what do you do? INCREASE THE DRAMA!!! It worked for Jon & Kate who had about 9 million viewers (the most ever) for the season premier last night. And look, I keep talkin bout the Republicans even though they LOST! I’m just fallin into their trap. Maybe I’ll just stop talkin bout the Republicans and they’ll just…disappear!
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Iraqis kill each other now


So how do we measure success? Do we say Iraq is a better place because they have a democratic government? Are the people happier? More successful? More ambitious? Do we say the death of Saddam was a blessing for the Iraqis? Excuse my ignorance since I didn’t give two shits about Iraq until I entered college, so I don’t know how bad things were before our “liberation”. I knew that Saddam was a sadistic, torturous, animal..hmm maybe they are better off now. But Saddam kept his country together. The way I see it, innocent people died because one person wanted more control. Today, innocent people die because EVERYONE wants control. How can that be any different or better? Now instead of fighting against one person, the Iraqis have to fight against multiple factions. It’s stupid. The United States didn’t just break up a regime, it broke up families. It broke up friends. It broke up a country. I don’t consider that successful.
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They can say that on the web?


I’m just shocked that “bitch” is a word that allowed on a web video. I think the FCC should look into this because if my child is gonna learn cuss words, it’s gonna be from readin my blog! And to my favorite anti-government reader, I expect you to disagree with me on this. Because if the FCC does start monitoring video news then they would have to expand and possibly start another division. Like I said, expansion of the government is only natural.
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Nicotine products get tastier


My take is that if you are still smokin or want to start smokin in this day and age, then you deserve what you get. Anyone hospitalized for any smoking related illnesses shouldn’t be covered by any insurance company and shouldn’t be covered by Medicare or Medicaid. If you are willin to turn a blind eye to the dangers of smoking then nobody else should suffer but you (well, you’re family does too but that’s collateral damage to me).
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They killed the tiger but nobody kills Rush?


So let me get this straight. A white tiger kills a black handler and all the zoo visitors that witnessed this were white? Oh yeah, I’m pullin out the race card! Lol. Fuck it, why not. I’m pretty sure everyone was yellin ‘kill that nigger’ to the tiger and the tiger decided to put on a show. I mean, it was a white tiger. A black panther woulda tried to get the handler to “fight the powers that be.”
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Shiloh has more at 3 than I do at...

Happy Birthday Shiloh J-P who turned 3 yesterday. So cute.
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Piles gets em young


HAHAHA, I love it. Girl see Piles, start cryin and shit. He beckons her back, white lady asks the girl “who is that nigga?” Little girl weeps “that’s Piles bitch!”. Piles gives her diamond chain that prolly could pay for a year at college. Little girl becomes a video hoe instead. Oh wait…I was supposed to think that, not write it out. Ooops.
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Aneesa let's it hang out


Lucky dog…Aneesa was always one of my favorites on the Real World. Her, Cora and some others. Real ass chicks that looked good too.
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Adriana Lima is finished

And now for some horrific news. Adriana Lima, the VS model who got married to Mr. South Park aka Dot For Eyes aka Marko Jaric, is…sigh. This is tough. I can’t even look at her the same any more. Let’s put it this way, I hope the offspring takes after the mom rather than the dad. Yeah, she’s confirmed it too. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. At least Rosa Acosta is still available (who? You’ll see). On the plus side, can't wait to see her tits swell.
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I would stroka Rosa Acosta

Here is Rosa Acosta…no clue who she is. Pretty, nice body, and doin what alllll men love to see tight bodied women do: stretch. So I figured instead of 8-12 static pictures of women I’d just give you 8 minutes of video hotness. Thank me by sending a check in the mail.


The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Baby Beep Beep

Nobody ever objects to a cute baby….so let’s start the day with that:
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R.I.P. Baby Tyson

Now it PAINS me to announce that Mike Tyson’s 4-year old daughter died from complications due to her strangulation on Monday. Reports indicate that she got caught up with the cord on the treadmill which caused the strangulation. Her brother saw her and got their mother who preformed CPR till the medics came. She died yesterday morning. Heartbreakin to the fullest. This man was on his comeback tour, bouncing back and feelin great. Now this had to happen to him. And Tyson loves his kids, adores them. I don’t know how a normal person copes with the loss of a child, let alone a man like Tyson with a dark past. Why is it that people that battle depression find ways to turn their lives around and then the unthinkable happens? Why couldn’t his dog ran away or someone break into his car. WHAT THE FUCK KINDA KARMA TAKES AWAY HIS DAUGHTER?? I don’t think biting a man’s ear or beatin up Robin Givens (it’s Robin Givens for cryin out loud) should result in this. If he knocked off everyone’s head in a 5 mile radius, I couldn’t even be mad…especially because he lives in Vegas and me in LA.
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Sonia Sotomayor nominated to be first Latina Justice

I feel I must mention this for the sake of relevancy, but I don’t really have an opinion on it. President BO (hahahaha, cuz he’s doin a stinky job) has nominated Sonia Sotomayor to be a Justice on the SC (that’s Supreme Court). I don’t really know much about her but from what I read she is more pro-choice (funny because aren’t most Puerto Ricans Catholic?) and she doesn’t really have a standin issue against gays. She’s favored by both parties. And she’s a joy to be around. Of course I know if I wanted to get some dirt all I would have to do is turn to the Republican station. Accordin to Rush [Limbaugh], Sonia is a “reverse racist” because she made a statement during her speech at Berkley saying that a wise and experienced Latina could make better conclusions than a white man who hasn’t had the same experiences. Ummm, DUH! That could be said about anybody about anythin. If you haven’t lived the life then you’re conclusions are not as accurate as a person who has. That’s why I don’t know why middle class white people who have never lived in the inner city or befriended anyone in the inner city or worked with people (community service) that lived in the inner city, try to make decisions for inner city citizens. You’ve lived a bubble your whole life, stay there. It’s safer (as you have been falsely led to believe). Anyways, that’s Rush. Michael Steele, being the coon that he is, pretty much said “I will not say anything bad about her because I want Latinos to think I like them.” Fagot.

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N. Korea just wants some love


So is that what’s it all about? Lil’ boy wants to wear daddy’s shoes? Please. I say we starve them out. While the people in N. Korea may lack knowledge of the outside world, I’m pretty sure the government officials don’t. And when we can promise wealth for them, their families, and countrymen, it’s only a matter of time before Kim Jong-il gets his ass Valkyrie’d.
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Demi Moore needs a job not Twitter

I don’t know if it’s because I’m special or…yeah, it’s because I’m special. But I don’t need celebrities to show me any humility or “human” side to them because I already know they are human. I don’t put them on this make believe pedestal that they are better than me. Their PERSONAS might be better, but the real “them” ain’t shit. So it disturbs me to see these pics of Demi Moore at the dentist gettin some work done.


She commented on her pics sayin: “Happy to share and always appreciate the opportunity to find humility!!! Or at least be able to laugh at myself!" Yeahhh, I didn’t really find this funny. A missin tooth is only funny if there is a comedy sketch involved. This is just your day to day life. I don’t care. I don’t care what you do at the dentist, I don’t care what you do at your gynecologist, I don’t care what you do when you tan, and I don’t care what you do when you get your colon cleansed. These are all private things you don’t need to share. Now, if you wanna make a sex tape with limp dick Kutcher and wanna share that, then by all means go right ahead.
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Danielle Lloyd got beat up

British ummm, actress, model, somethin (Kopax verify) Danielle Lloyd got her ass WHUPPED on the other day. Apparently she got in a tussle with 2 chicks that threw her through a glass table and beat her up good. It might have all started from an accidental kick to Lloyd who then tried to get tuff but got snuffed in the process. Lookin at the pics, ya can tell she was fucked up. She needed emergency surgery and ended up with stitches in her back. Damn. Some girls will never learn. Just because you famous, doesn’t mean you can be a bitch to everyone. I hope this isn’t a case of Lloyd getting what she deserved. I’d like to have some sympathy for her. Thank goodness she landed on her back and not on her sweet tits. There woulda been silicone leakin everywhere!
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Mel Gibson is too rich to go to Hell

Congrats to Mel Gibson and his new girlfriend…you guessed it, she’s preggers. I mean what did you expect from a devout Catholic. He doesn’t believe in birth control…oh no. He obviously believes in premarital sex tho! For a man that built his own church, I'm glad to see he takes his religion seriously.
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Devil in the Pink Dress

Ninel Conde gives you a reason to learn Spanish.

That’s 40 years right there and a kid. And you wonder why I’m so partial…
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Classic Alessandra

Started the week with Alessandra, gonna end it with her too…oh wait. It’s only Wednesday. Ah well, enjoy anyways.



The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Don't see Terminator 4

The reason they named it Salvation is because that what the script was: salvaged. I hope the next one is called Redemption. Enjoy your week and save $12.
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Pass The A1


HAHAHA, “I don’t eat candy.” Sure you don’t Mariah…sure you don’t. Where is Nick Cannon? I thought he was gonna make life a living hell for Em by now? No YouTube skits? No diss tracks? Man, that nigga is softer than double quilted toilet paper.
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The GOP division


The Republicans are still at it. I understand that they need to rebuild and become a force once again in D.C. but is this really the right time for it? Can’t they do this shit behind the curtains? Why is it that the only time I hear about Republicans it’s about their conflicts. Whether it is internal conflicts with themselves or external with Obama, one thing is for sure is that it's not constructive. The Republicans are a bunch of old grumpy people that need to retire to the Keys in Miami and crash their Lincolns and Cadillacs into people because they can’t see over the huge steering wheel. I don’t know why Powell just doesn’t become a registered Democrat. That’s what other able minded Republicans have done. Now with him still claiming GOP while have voted for Obama, the case that it was about race stands strong. If anythin just become Independent or somethin and stop being in limbo. Disgusting Republicans.
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Obama can't stop Korea


Ohhhh North Korea. What are we gonna do with you? I hope someone drops a nuke and destroys the testing facilities. But seriously, what are we gonna do? Sanctions? Those only work if everyone is on board. War? Ha, that’s suicide. I guess it’s time to let NK into the talks and start showin some respect. Then once we have it, we invade them and burn it to the ground!!! AH, thank goodness I don’t work for the U.N.
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Crazy man beats up blind lady


Wow that is just brutal! Some people spaz out for NO reason. How do just gonna bust her shit like that? Had to be a nigga…smh. Look at the reactions of the other people faces, like “did that just happen?” YEAH IT DID!!! The people that stepped in the help are real heroes (minus the lady that claimed to protect the blind lady – good job protectin her after she already got her shit bust!). Me? I woulda just sat back and be like “damn, that dude is fucked up.” Oh don’t judge me. What if he had a knife or a gun and someone who decided to play ‘hero’ agitated the assailant to the point he pulled a weapon out. Now instead of one blind lady with a black eye that nobody is gonna see anyways, we got 2 dead and 4 critical in the hospital. I’m just sayin…I want everyone to live.
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Brown is just a lighter shade of black


Worrrrrd? It’s a good thing I’m white then huh? But seriously, that’s that bullshit. The black and brown relations in LA is still shitty…gettin better, but still shitty. I’m gonna create a utopia where blacks, browns, white, and yellas can get together and get betta and drop the Berettas and…I’m done. I was on my Jessie Jackson shit for a min. LOL.
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Charles Hamilton may wanna get a New Rochelle girl instead

Up and comin hip hop artist, Charles Hamilton, gets too cocky for his girl’s liking:

ROFL. His song, “Brooklyn Girls”, was very annoyin to me and so this punch to the mouth is very satisfying. And “like a man” (as some would say), Hamilton took the punch in stride and tried to “rhyme” it off. Personally, I think he shoulda Chris Brown’d her ass. But a chick like that prolly has older brothers and they woulda thumped on CH’s head till it bled. Now if I wanted to be a sensational journalist, then I would have just left it as is but I like tellin the entire story. CH and Bri made up:

I still think he’s a homo.
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T.I says goodbye

T.I. had a farewell concert on Sunday before he starts his 360+ day stint in the clink today. He’s finally going to jail, thank goodness. I feel like the T.I. drama has been long and drawn out to the point I was ready to serve his time for him just so that I wouldn’t have to hear the words “T.I.” and “jail” in the same sentence. Over the past year T.I. has been reachin out the community, tryin to get others to understand that crime isn’t the answer and all that other good PR stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate what T.I. has done for the youth and the outreach his programs provided, but enough is enough. Just go sit in the cell and stop with the fanfare. I’ll see ya in a year and a day. Keep your head up.
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Alessandra and her wacky bra

Alessandra Ambrosio to start off the short week. Her new spread in VS is pretty tasty (not the best, but it will do). Let’s not forget she just recently joined the MILF club as well. What I don't understand is why the straps on the bra are in those positions? Actually my real beef is why she's wearin a bra to begin with. When is VS goin to invent the invisi-bra?




The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Friday, May 22, 2009

You ain't gotta go home...

Yeahhhhhhhhhhh, it’s that time of the week for us again. When I say ‘goodbye bitches’. Only difference is I won’t be seein ya on Monday. FUCK NO! Enjoy the long weekend my friends, you deserve it!
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Hell is missing an angel

I know it’s Good Friday, but this can’t wait till Monday.


I seriously not gonna speak on it. The tags should say it all.
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Beyonce - Ego

This song is really about me. Most thought it was Jay-Z, due to the massive size of his face. But then the song would be “I married Mr. Potato Head”. No the song is about me and my big ego. And she isn’t talkin bout the head on my neck…oWWWWWWWW:
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Senate OKs bill to block photos

The Senate has passed a bill that will ok more spending on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. That’s kinda good, depending on whose lens you look through. What I’m happier about is that in this bill is also some legal language that will block the release of detainee photos. Like I’ve said before, I think Obama reversing course was a very smart move. The terrorist already hate us, the rest of the world looks down on us, and there is no reason to add fuel to the fire. What’s done is done and can’t be undone. Let’s just move the sticks and not endanger ourselves abroad or the troops fighting.
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Credit Card tips


If she can do it, so can you. I know I have some credit card debt I would like to get taken care of. I need more money in my pockets right now…hell, who doesn’t? I ain’t makin any chips fuckin around with this blog. Damn you non-promoting ass readers. Still only 11 members on the Facebook Fan page. 11!!!! I bet if I was a hate group I’d get more members. Wait, I am a hate group!
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I'm glad I'm not friends with Sean Penn on Facebook

Sean Penn and Robin Wright’s seem to have made up. Sean, who filed for divorce again, has once rescinded the papers. I don’t know what’s goin on here but I’m glad this dispels the Sean Penn/Natalie Portman rumors. I am all about givin people second chances (as long as it’s not me they’ve wronged) but what the hell is Sean thinkin? If you feel strongly enough to file for divorce, then get the shit over with. Oh wait, this is supposed to be ‘Good Friday’. Alright, well it’s good to see couples work through their issues. Blah.
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Natalie Cole continues to live

Natalie Cole had a successful kidney transplant this week after FUCKING up her old kidney with drug use. The donor was a person that had died and requested that their kidney be sent to Natalie Cole. Directed organ donations are rare since most people just offer up their organs to WHOEVER needs it. Not high profile people who have access to Larry King Live. If I sound a little bitter, well it’s because I am. I know this is Good Friday and I’m supposed to be happy. But I think I would be happier if someone who had a legitimate kidney disease got the kidney. Natalie Cole ruined herself with cocaine and heroin use. Why does she get a second chance and the person with (I don’t of any life threatening kidney diseases so insert one here) doesn’t? It ain’t fair at all.
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Maria Grazia Cucinotta makes me thirsty

Maria Grazia Cucinotta because her breasts are fake and she’s a hot Italian mom (minus the acne, but I got some proactive I can put on her face OWWWWWW). If I was to ever marry a white girl, she’d have to mainland Italian (I’ll take Sicilian; that skin tone be on point). They don’t produce more beautiful white women anywhere else in Europe.




That’s all I got, see ya Tuesday.
The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Thursday, May 21, 2009

Bumblebee!!!

Revenge takes many forms on June 24th. Can I be sued for sayin that? What bout “More Than Meets The Eyes”? They should pay me for these plugs. Exhausting day. Can’t wait for Good Friday. No plans for the weekend…someone should help me out!
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Mo Williams' full court shot


Why the fuck didn’t Mo make the two pt shot off the jump ball tip? It makes this shot MEANINGLESS! If the Lakers don’t lose tonight, I’m done with the NBA playoffs. Call me durin the finals.
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Time to raise taxes says State governments

The terrible economy has forced states to choose the final and most dreadful option for raising revenue: raising taxes. Many states have already raised taxes in forms of cigarette and sales tax, but now it’s time to hit the income taxes. I knew this was comin because that was McCain driving point against Obama (besides his other point which was that Barack was a black Muslim). And you know what I wanna know? I wanna know if we elected McCain, what would he have done to make sure taxes didn’t get raised? First off, I don’t think he woulda saved the economy from collapsing. I’m pretty sure a Republican President and a Democratic Congress would have failed this country miserably. But let’s just assume McCain was President. How would he explain the taxes STILL bein raised even when he promised not to? Would he scapegoat and say that technically he’s not raising the taxes, but the states are? I hate payin taxes, like I’ve said before, but if it means maintaining the standard of living that I have in the U.S then so be it. After they raise the taxes, I want everyone fired for mishandling the budget. It’s not like they just ran outta money last year. These states have been in the red for YEEEARS. I know California couldn’t balance a budget with a triple beam scale. Stupid monkey muthafuckas are runnin the show it seems. Tired of this shit. Time for a new election.
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Cops get fired?


Ahh, this makes more sense to me. White cops beatin up blacks is a familiar sight (yes, I know that one of the 5 cops is black but I’ma blame it on peer pressure). Is that what it takes to get terminated? You gotta beat an already unconscious person? I guess you can’t use resisting arrest on a person who is out cold. They have to teach this in the Academy. Or maybe cops are given testosterone booster shots each day. There is no way that a group of individuals can be this aggressive day in and day out. Maybe during recruitment they pick out individuals who are high strung and visibly tense. The best gang in the world. What’s more disturbing is the fact that this man has already been tried and sentenced to jail and this video is NOW just seein the light. It’s such a secret society…worse than a gang.
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Bionic arms for man


How does this guy get $100K hands and I can’t get some muthafuckin LASIK? What insurance company is he with? I need to switch. Gotta love it though, so they’ll be replacing people’s hearts and brains…makin people in cyborgs. Too bad he’ll never really get to pick his nose or scratch his balls. I wonder if he gets to ‘werk-n-jerk’ LMAO (inside joke). If the robots ever try to take over, I’ll get on my John Conner shit real quick. The future is now!
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Marisa Miller almost got raped

Why does Ellen’s eyes remind you of a guy who hasn’t had sex in a year and Marisa Miller just offered him a one night stand? Ellen is HUNGRY!

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Everyone loves a good alien mini series

A remake that’s worth remaking. It appears that ABC has latched on and is going to produce the 80s mini series hit ‘V’. I clearly remember that series but don’t remember all the episodes as I was too young to stay up and watch it. But to catch ya’ll up to speed. ‘V’ was a series about an alien race that came to Earth declaring good intentions but I think wanted to enslave the population or somethin bad. Either way, they had human skin but were really reptilian and used to eat mice. Very hyped to see what ABC has in store. Here is a clip from the first episode:

Whoooooooooa, giant head just floatin in the sky. Trippy. I see you Morris Chestnut, tryin to get paid. Had a shot of the Christ statue in Brasil, very cool. I’m ready!
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Rihanna gots a new boo

Time for some speculation. It appears that Rihanna has been seen sneakin kiss with a new boy. Another light skinned musician has captured her attention (can’t the dark skinned brothers get a chance?). Canadian rapper Aubrey "Drake" Graham and Rihanna were seen in a club sneakin kisses. I’m pretty sure the nude pics is prolly what pushed her into Drake’s arms. I mean first she gets her ass beat, then nude pics of her get released. I bet it was all CB’s doin. I don’t know how it would help his case. Maybe he’s tryin to discredit her and make her look like a hoe. Hmmm then the defense could say that he beat her ass because she was sleepin around and it was done in the heat of passion? Sounds like a good defense to me…as long as the sex tape comes out too!
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Playboy playmate to close out

Lindsay Wagner because I’m too lazy to find pics of hotter chicks.




The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Ugh, Wednesday

I need a new routine. This is startin to get redundant. Who wants to become the best blogger alive? I need real talent, not people who just talk to talk (I’m lookin at you Squatter, and his lackies). Goonie goo goo.
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I only want Mexican furniture


My good God, what is goin on here? I mean, I’m all about racial integration but this is ridiculous. Lmao. I love people sometimes.
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White people throw beer cans for sport


Ignorance knows no color. And the Preakness Toilet Run is comin to an end as the Pimlico Race Course will no longer allow patrons to bring in outside beverages. Everythin must be purchased at the infield. Sad, now how am I gonna laugh at the stupidity of drunk white guys?
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Michael Steele wants to move on

Michael Steele gave a speech yesterday sayin that the era of Republicans apologizing is over. Ummmm, did I miss the memo? Wait wait, let me check through my memos. “Authorize invasion of a country during peacetime”, yeah got that memo. “Authorize conduct for dehumanizing forms of interrogation”, yeah got that one too. “Authorize funds to ensure friends have enough money to fly to St. Tropez for vacation”. Yep, got that memo. Hmmm. Nope, can’t seem to find the memo that states apologize to the American public for the collapse of a country. Did they write that memo in invisible ink? Exactly what are the dates that the Republicans started and ended the apologies? Hell, I even got the memo that states “blast current administration on everything they do wrong, never give credit on what they do right. And if you aren’t sure if it’s right or wrong, err on the side of wrong.” But I’m still waitin on my fuckin apology from the GOP.
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Cops beat and choke teen


Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. I pray for death on those officers. I guess the police realized it’s harder for a person to resist arrest unconscious, so that’s the new step in the procedures of arresting a perp. Fuckin wack. I hope they sue the shit outta the city. They never ever ever ever send these cops to jail and that’s why they always be doin this kinda shit. They know they are immune to the justice system. It’s terribly fuckin wack. 2 weeks suspension without pay (or with pay, it's all in the spin they put on it) is the most punishment they’ll get. I have no respect for cops. When is someone going to start holdin them accountable for their actions? Maybe that’s the draw in to becoming a cop. Because what able minded person would purposely put their life on the line day in and day out if they knew they couldn’t FUCK OVER a person a day? It wouldn’t be worth it I guess. Still, fuck em.
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Rich blacks, poor whites can only mean one thing: Africa!


Wow. Well, as the whites have been telling the blacks: “That’s life.” Hopefully the South African government will start with social reforms to help the white people take advantage of the system and blacks can look down upon them as being lazy niggers. Oh wait, can’t use the word niggers. Oh wait, yes you can. Because by definition, a nigger isn’t limited by race. I wonder if South Africa is just gonna be the polarization of the United States.
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Flatliner comes back to life


YESSSS, some good news. My heart goes out to the parents. Granted that gate shoulda been locked, this isn’t the time for finger pointing. That child is a true fighter and kudos to the rescue staff for not givin up on him. Why couldn’t this have happened on Thursday so that I could have used this for my ‘Good Friday’ posts.
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Family lives next door and doesn't know


Even more good news. I mean, it’s not like bringin a kid back to life but it’s still a family reunion of sorts. Very heartwarming and makes you glad that good things still happen in this hell torn country. Ahhhh, maybe this will ‘Ash Wednesday’…no? Doesn’t work? I tried.

No celebrity news or tits worth mentioning………so good day!

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

*insert Chinese characters*

Sometimes I wish I knew Chinese. I would cuss people out all day. Because nobody sounds angrier than an angry Chinese person. Makes you wanna punch em in the mouth because you don’t know what they sayin, but it still hurts your feelings. (Disclaimer: The Rant Is Due does not advocate hate crimes against any race…The Tenant likes to talk out his ass sometimes).
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Beatboxing chick


I don’t really know what to make of this. I’m not really turned on, but I’m not turned off…crazy. My penis is in limbo.
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Edubb - Whooty

I really like my visitors and want you to come back. So plllllllease watch this video on mute. Listening to the actual song might make you hate me.

I’ve never seen so many unicorns in one place…it actually brought a tear to my eye. I told you that the return of Eminem would bring them back full horse, I mean, full force!
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Pass The A1

Speakin of Em, here is his reaction to Nick Cannon’s reaction to Eminem dissin Mariah.

Lol, sometimes I wonder if this guy is truly off the drugs. I really can’t wait to see what Nick does in retaliation. And I can’t stand that British DJ on Westwood. He’s such a tool. Same tool that made up the A-rab Money Dance for Busta. I wish I was there with him in the studio because after the fifth time he used the word ‘swagga’ I woulda choked him with the headphone cords.
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Nude at the airport


All I know is that, I’m totally against it. Because if they got a woman working back in the imaging room, she gonna come to the front and pat me down herself. Start grabbin my junk talkin bout it’s a concealed weapon and it needs to be unconcealed. I looked at the arguments and both sides have some valid points. The privacy side says this is a total invasion of privacy and to some it’s even more than just appearing nude on a screen. For some it just boils down to a privacy issue and the “stripping” of our rights. Others worry about selling the scans of celebrities to places like TMZ and what not. The flip side of the coin says if it means better security then they are all for it. For me, if it means not havin to check in luggage with liquids then I’m all for it. I get so annoyed when I have to check in 2 days worth of clothes because I have to bring my toiletries with me (the stuff I use doesn’t come in a travel size and until they make a hotel that caters to minorities, I won’t expect them at the hotels I stay at). An argument that was made by Bruce Schneier, an internationally recognized security technologist, is that while the full body scan works well it would have been better to put the money towards fighting terrorist. That I can’t argue with at all. Wait, who am I kiddin? Of course I can argue against it. While I do wish the government was doin a better job with the terrorist, it’s impossible to expect terrorism to be extinguished forever. You just can’t destroy ideals. You can’t just say, we are gonna put an end to Christians and Christianity. You can kill a whole lot of them, but there will still be the rebels who will think this is a test from God and will try their hardest to make their God proud. That’s the mind state of these terrorist. The only thing we can do is learn to live with them. And that includes full body image scanners. Welcome to the world today. One thing I loved about the comments on the article was how everyone was quoting Ben Franklin. The actual quote wasn’t important but knowin Benny, you know it had somethin to do with privacy and freedom. Freedom. Comin from the man who owned slaves. SMH.
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James Harrison has a PhD in football

I know white people love black athletes because they are great contenders against white actors in the battle of who can sound the most uneducated. James Harrison, of the Super Bowl Champs the Pittsburgh Steelers, has once again declined an invitation to the White House (he did it in 2006 too). His reasoning is because the Steelers should be invited to the White House anytime not just when they win the Super Bowl. He stated that if the Cardinals had won, they woulda been invited. I’m kinda confused on why James thinks they should be invited to the White House on a whim? Does he think that his team can contribute to the discussion on how to stop the deforestation that occurs in South America? Maybe they can provide some insight on nuclear proliferation in third world countries. Wait wait, I think James has figured out how to balance the budget. Will someone put this 250+ lb meat head in check? I would do it but I’m pretty sure he’d snap my neck like a twig and I like my neck. Just be happy that the President invited you to the White House. I wish I could get an invitation, then I would show off my on the spot blogging skills and become Secretary of Blogging!
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Boy gets to live as a girl

You don’t have to watch all of this, just get the gist:

Not gonna lie, I’m kinda weirded out by this. I mean most cross dressers and transgender have claimed to always felt like they were in the wrong body at a very young age. My question is has our society gotten that comfortable that parents are more accepting of it (which makes kids more open about it) or is the food (and the other environmental variables) startin to fuck up our hormones and creating more and more chemically imbalanced children? I truly don’t know. I hope someone does some research on it and figures this out because I think life is gonna suck for that kid if the latter theory is correct. If our society isn’t becomin more receptive then that child is gonna go through a lot of torment and anguish and while it’s nice that the parents are tryin to protect him/her I don’t think it’s enough. I would be on some old school shit and try to make the child believe that they were the right sex. I know it ain’t right, it’s probably a terrible short term fix, but I can’t protect them at school. I need them to survive into late teens and then maybe we can figure out another solution for them. Damn, that’s wack I don’t have a decent solution.
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Cheesus Christ


Why hasn’t anyone seen Jesus in a piece of shit yet? Yes, I JUST SAID THAT! I’ma take my dog out for a walk and the next time he shits I’ma shape it into Jesus and then come back when it dries. Then I’ll take a picture and preserve the shit and sell it on eBay because I know there is a moron out there collecting images of Jesus in different mediums. The only thing more sacrilegious than my plans is how these people are tryin to fetch a dime from it. I know it’s a recession, but really? You really gonna put that on eBay and if nobody gives you enough money, you’re planning on eatin it? I hope it brings them bad luck. That will teach em to put money over religion again. And if they aren’t Christians or atheist, then why bring it up to begin with? They shoulda just ate it and felt powerful eatin someone’s God or just gave it to a church.
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Rapper Dolla shot and killed in LA

R.I.P. Dolla. He was shot in the head at the Beverly Center yesterday and killed. Wow. What the fuck. The Beverly Center is like 10 minutes from me…that shit is NOT, I repeat, NOT IN THE HOOD. How the fuck did some shit like this go down? Police have detained someone in connection at LAX airport. Did someone really fly here from ATL to kill this dude? That’s some crazy shit.

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Halle Berry and Baby Berry

It was either Halle Berry or Katy Perry. Perry was lookin like the ex girlfriend you never let give you head because you were afraid she’d bite down one day outta spite. Halle wins.


The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Monday, May 18, 2009

Time to retire

Ugh, the weekend is over already? I think I’ma keep this short and sweet because I would rather just lie down. Oh, and we had a good ole earthquake last night.
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Boehner can take a joke


It’s always good to see someone that can take a joke. And yes yes, I know there is a double standard. If someone made a joke about Obama’s color it would be considered racist. Well like I’ve said before, a racist person can’t make a racist joke and think it’s going to be found funny. So if Rush or Bill O decided to make an ‘off color’ joke, yes, blacks would cry foul. If Bill Maher, John Stewart, or Colbert made the joke it would be funny.
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Notre Dame is dammned

Oh God, Kiran Chetry. I just jizzed in my pants.

Jokes on you bitch, Obama didn’t even receive the degree (and gave a bullshit reason why they didn’t, but more later). I really hope she missed out because that would make my life just a little bit sweeter knowin the hypocrite got what she deserved. Does the girl look like a virgin? I mean her face isn’t the best but I’m pretty sure during her 4 years someone drank enough to give her a chance. Does she look married? No. So doesn’t premarital sex go against the teachings of a Catholic church? It’s an honorary degree; it’s not like they were gonna make Obama Pope. But no worries because Notre Dame didn’t give Obama the degree. They said that he hasn’t accomplished enough. Really? A black President hasn’t accomplished enough? That’s the equivalent of sayin Helen Keller was an average person. I guess there was nothin special about Jackie Robertson. When I heard that all I could think about was Mike Jones when he first came out (“who?” Mike Jones, “who?” Mike Jones). That’s how they treated Obama’s name (“Obama who?”). Because to me anyone that says becoming the President of the United FUCKING States of FUCKING America isn’t much of an accomplishment, means you suck dick for a living and you are terrible at it. Not only is Barack black, his middle name is Hussein and his last name is Obama which rhymes with Osama. THAT GUY won. He beat out an all American war vet. THAT GUY. If that isn’t the biggest accomplishment in this past century, then I don’t want to accomplish SHIT in my life. Just give me the Presidency and I’ll be happy.
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AP dies from swine flu in NY

Another one has bit the dust. This time a 55 year old assistant principal in a New York high school has been killed by the H1N1 flu, best known as the swine flu. I call it the Mexican flu because I like to point fingers and hold someone responsible (sorry Mexico). Anyways, everyone is tryin to down play it and say he might have had pre-existing conditions. And at first I was gonna go against what I’ve been sayin and tell everyone to start to panic. But then I thought of the numbers...what is the death toll at? 2? 3 if you wanna count the little boy from Mexico. I think until the death toll reaches 50K, I don’t really care and won’t report anythin about it anymore. It’s just the fuckin flu.
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More development on the plane crash in Buffalo


I’m really gettin sick of hearin this shit. Now the pilot and co-pilot were tired? BULLSHIT. They both had adequate days off before the flight. So what if the co-pilot had to catch a plane to work? She coulda slept on the plane just like most people do before goin to work. And the pilot took a nap in the lounge before he flew. BOTH THEM MUTHAFUCKAS HAD ENOUGH REST! They were flyin from Newark to Buffalo. That’s a 45 min flight. They couldn’t stay up for 45 FUCKING minutes? Bullshit. It ain’t like they flew cross country or overseas. They flew for 45 minutes. And the transcripts have already been released. Them two were not having the type of conversation tired people have. They were talkin bout icy build up and how to handle it. The co-pilot was actin real scary talkin bout she never wants to land a plane in those kinda conditions…yea, that’s how someone with real experience talks. And the pilot was tryin to be Mr. Big Shit talkin bout it’s nothin to him. Fuck these soap opera side stories. The real deal is neither of them muthafuckas was prepared. Neither one of them had their head on straight. They crashed the plane and killed people.
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Mike Tyson on Jimmy Kimmel


Regardless of how “humble” Tyson has become, he’s still just a scary ass dude. Does the boogie man ever go into retirement and picks flowers? I would like to believe so but then I remember the nightmares he created…It just takes one person to spill a drink on Tyson and say “take that you bitch ass nigga. I’ma go fuck yo moms now!”
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I would tinka with Minka's stinka

Minka Kelly is my new white girl (sorry Olivia, I still like you tho). Any girl with a bod this healthy is a winner. Any white girl with a body this healthy is a keeper…I just hope her pussy don’t stink. Oh come on, you know that has to be SOMETHING wrong with her. I can deal with crusty toes, but a fishy fish is a no no.
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Holly Madison shows off her talents

Here is Holly Madison participating in the world’s biggest bikini parade (yes, an official Guinness record).





Wow, maybe she should see Hef and beg for her old job back.
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Yummy girl

I’m not sure who the hell Thais is, but she looks great flaunting it. Sooooo enjoy.




The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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Friday, May 15, 2009

Late but on time

Good Friday to you all, let’s see what’s good in America. Ok, and it’s very late today because I went to the Latino graduation at USC and spent more time there than I planned on. Sorry!!!
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Google's musical talents


This is what niggas at Google be doin? Don’t they have a world to take over? Now they beat boxin? Craziness. The shit was fiyah tho.
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Green schools budget

The House just passed a $6.4 billi legislation to make schools greener. It’s an attempt to kill multiple birds with one stone. First, there are a lot of schools that need renovation and patches to be filled (especially in the Katrina area) and this money will go towards fixing those schools. Second, it helps create more energy efficient schools which in the long run will save money. Third, it’s going to provide construction jobs since this money is strictly to be used for fixing up schools. And of course the students (and teachers) are going to benefit from going to a school that actually looks and FEELS like a school, instead of lookin like a housing project. I am all for this bill and hopes the Senate agrees too.
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Slum dogs are still slumminng


I know it may appear that there is nothin good about this story. But I think it’s good we are showin the corruption that still lives in the hearts of white men. How is it possible that NOBODY has saved these kids yet? Parents sellin them for adoption, others still live in the slums. What the fuck gives? NOBODY WANTS TO HELP??? Doesn’t Madonna want another child? Can’t she adopt one of these kids? At least she knows they are already in the entertainment business, which has to be a plus. And if not adopt them, how much does it cost to put these guys up in a nicer place? Maybe get the parents nicer jobs? Or just PAY THE FUCKING KIDS! I’m pretty sure a million is enough to set a family straight. Tried to keep it good…just hate seein kids gettin fucked over.
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LeBron is an actor playin a basketball player

LeBron Bron is a pure comedian:

If I was anyone on the Pistons or Hawks, I’d be very fuckin upset. How does this man find time to film commercials AND whup our ass? The man is a beast!!! He is just PLAYING basketball. You know how they say the difference between a job and a career is that you have fun with your career? Well playin basketball must be a side hobby for Bron because he is havin waaaay too much fun. Damn, the real Jordan killer has arrived.
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Pink and Carey back together

Who says love doesn’t exist in Hollywood? Pink and ex-hubby, Carey Hart, have put their differences aside and are getting back together. Since they never really filed for divorce, getting back together is just as easy as it was to break apart. Schedule the movers, daddy is comin home.
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Rose McGowan always had a nice rear

Rose McGowan because any white girl with booty is ok in my book.
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