Horray for the short work week!

Long weekend, but it was so interesting we are gonna get started.

Sarah Palin. Beauty Queen, mayor, milf, governor, and now VP candidate. I could rant on her for days and sex her for hours (or is it rant on her for hours and sex her for days, lol), but I know you’re attention span is about as long as a housefly. I know someone that is equally as crazy, but not as funny, as me and he already wrote a note about her. You can find the note here (but you may need a Facebook account). What’s weird is that the race is still dead even….are Republicans really that dedicated to getting one of their own into office that they will risk the stability of our country?

So the mother of missing toddler, Caylee Anthony, was taken into custody on some bullshit charges. The DA is tryin to make sure that she doesn’t flee the country or something (I’ve seen enough Law & Order to know how that works.) This child has been missing like all summer (it’s reported that she’s dead), and the mom hasn’t been acting too concerned, so everyone thinks she has something to do with it. The mom is true to her street code. She hasn’t snitched or waivered or acted scared while being interrogated by the cops. She more hood than the rats we got in jail (well, out of jail since that’s the perk of ratting lol.) I say take her water boarding…she’ll be talkin in no time.

Iraq signed a $3B oil deal with China. Does this mean we can finally send them the bill and get some of our money back? Wouldn’t it be nice for the government to give us a milli each for the war? I wonder if I can sue the government. The war has caused me emotional and financial stress and I should be compensated for it. I stopped flying in 2001 which caused me to lose money. And current gas prices have stopped me from filling my jet and I fly commercial now, lol.


Actually the reason I fear flying is because people still crash planes, like this is the 80s. Or even worse, still have near misses in the air. How you gonna have alllllll that fuckin sky and planes still fly close to each other. Is there not enough atmosphere for 5 planes to be in the same area without almost crashing into each other? It appears that the people in the control tower had just received the news about Palin running for VP and were laughing uncontrollably when the near miss occurred.

This guy gives a new meaning to “heartless.” How this kid at 14 got a heart transplant and at 18 he plotted to murder his neighbor and remove his heart? LMAO, wow. Where did he get his new heart from? A convicted serial killer? This is the type of shit you see in movies, where a person gets a (insert part) transplant and then they start going fuckin crazy! O snap, I just thought of a “plot” for my next porno. An average guy gets a penis transplant from a dead porn star and goes on a sex rampage….plowing every woman he sees in a skirt! Lol. If Red Light or Bang Bros takes my shit, I will sue!!!

Speakin of porn, it looks like IE8 (Internet Explorer for you non-nerds) will have a feature called “in Private Browsing” also known as “Porn Mode” browsing. That’s because once activated, Internet Explorer won’t keep ANY record of your surfing. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. It would be like you were never on the computer. Now I can put dirty links on The Rant, lol. However, IT depts. can still monitor what you’re doing so don’t try it at work.

The King of Pop turned 50 this past weekend. He kept it low key by having cake and watchin cartoons at his house with the kids. When asked what cartoons he watched with his kids, he responded that HIS kids were spending the weekend with their mothers. Oh Mikey, back at it again. Lol.

And lastly, in a bit of justice (in my eyes) a driver took a 30 foot plunge off the highway and the vehicle burst into flames makin sure the driver was dead. Was this person running from the cops? No. A child molester? Nope. A Republican? Maybe, but doesn’t matter to me. The person was speeding. In....A.....2008 Lamborghini (at the time of the report, the model wasn’t identified, but it was lime green makin it most likely a Gallardo.) Now you’re prolly sayin “damn you harsh, how could you not feel sorry for this guy?” EASY, as a car lover it is easy for me to be highly upset when these douche bags with more money than they need buy nice cars that they have no business driving and then they crash them….then they go buy another! Fuck em, one less person to buy up a Lambo I could own in the future. If he or she had just crashed, because some dick hit them then that’s fine. But most people that own supercars crash them because they were speeding, acting fast and furious instead of slow and serious like they should be. I know as soon as I get my supercar, the first thing I’m doing is taking it to a track and figuring out how to properly push it so that I don’t look like an idiot when I stomp the gas and wrap it around a utility pole. I so many nice cars this weekend (spent half my weekend in Beverly Hills) it was a nice reminder on why I moved to LA. The best was of course was seeing the SLR McLaren....I almost wet myself. But an even better surprise was seein the GT-R and 09 Maxima which is growing on me.

It seems the fastest man on Earth is faster than we thought:




The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!