Crash Landing

Allergies are acting up so lookin at the screen for an extended time gives me a headache. Guess I’ll have to keep it short today. VMAs are being hosted in LA but since I am without cable I can’t really see it or rant on it. But I’m downloading it as we speak (or read) along with Entourage, so tomorrow’s rant should be a good one!

So I came to a very sad realization this weekend. Nothin revolutionary but just solidified the argument. Beefing with 50 Cent will end your career or in this case, break up your group. Bring in Exhibit A: Dip-Set. Cam’ron and the Dips have survived beefs with Nas and Jay-Z, but as soon as they went up against 50…well you know the rest. 50 is a monster that has to be stopped. I don’t know what kinda incriminating pics or information he has on people in the rap game, but once you try to go head up against him, you’re done. The Game kinda survived but I think LAX is his last album, and The Game didn’t really have a career yet for 50 to extinguish. Fat Joe went up against 50, but Joey Crack is….well Joey Crack. And I don’t even know any Puerto Ricans that buy his shit.

Livin in LA, I’ve noticed a lot of things that differentiate the west from the east. Most notably is fashion. People in LA have no style. Everyone dresses like everyone else or what they see the celebrities do. The biggest culprit has to be the Mexicans. Not so much the guys, but the girls for sure. I think Mexican girls get a discount on skinny jeans, because every single one of them has at least 5 pairs. The problem with them wearing skinny jeans (and this doesn’t apply to all of them, but a good 80%) is the Mexican body structure. A lot of Mexican girls are top heavy. All the fat they have stops at the waist. It’s like the cells in their bodies won’t allow any fat to end up in the ass or legs. So you’re prolly thinkin “well, then what’s wrong with them wearin the jeans if they legs are skinny?” So I say to you, you need to paint a better picture in your head. If all the fat is kept at the top and they are wearing skinny jeans, take a moment a draw that out. It looks disgusting. It looks like the guy who spends all his time at the gym doin upper body workouts and neglects his legs. Except instead of muscle in that upper body, replace it with fat. Ohhhh, now you get the picture. Another thing I hate about the skinny jeans is when guys wear them and then try to sag their pants. A) No guy should be wearing jeans that tight (this ain’t the early 90s) and B) No guy should be saggin his pants (this ain’t the late 90s). Maybe they aren’t sagging, maybe their jeans are so tight, that’s as far up as they would go. Lol, either way it’s homo and a look that should be discarded.

Now that I’ve lost all my Latina friends, lol, I would like to mention one thing I like about them. They all seem to like to hug after just meeting you. Other ethnicities won’t let you get that close even if you fuckin them. So that’s pretty nice since they are top heavy, just gotta make sure your hand doesn’t get stuck in a roll, lmao.

In an act that smells more and more of desperation, McCain has vowed to have more than the one token Democrat in his Cabinet. He has promised U.S. Sen. Joseph Lieberman a spot as well, lol. But seriously, I wonder how it feels to run a race you know you’re losing?

We all know that Sarah Palin in 1984, she was crowned Miss Wasilla and she was runner-up in the subsequent Miss Alaska pageant later that year. I already made a joke about it. But here is the kicker…the person she lost to was Marilyne Blackburn, Alaska’s first BLACK winner. HAHAHAHAHAHA. How you lose to a black person in a state with no black people? The judges must have chose Marilyne for her “exoticness.” Did McCain know this before choosing Palin? Probably not, since he just drew names out a hat lmao. I guess Palin does have a lot of experience, since she’s already experienced losing to the first black winner!!!

Up in Fresno, cops have arrested a man that broke into a farm and woke up 2 of the farm workers by “rubbing spices” on one, and smacking the other one with an eight inch assuage. HAHAHAHA, how homo. I mean, if that was me, I woulda never reported that part to the cops. “Yeah officer, he woke me up by slapping me with an eight inch sausage.” The cops musta have been rollin on the floor laughin when writing the report.

I feel sorry for Bob:


The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!