Maybe it's a drill?

Today must be anti-sympathy day for me, because I keep hearin these stories that make normal people sad, but I laugh (kinda). Take for instance the Anti-kidnapping consultant that was recently kidnapped in Mexico. HAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m not laughin at the situation, I’m laughin at the guy. Or is it the other way round? Wait, I got it. I’m laughin at the irony. That would be like you seein your self defense instructor gettin his ass whupped in the parking lot. Nigga, how you gonna protect me from getting kidnapped when you gettin kidnapped? I tell you though, these Mexicans are gettin tough. Just the other day this Mexican chihuahua lookin muthafucka gonna be parked in front of a pump at a gas station. I honk my horn to get him out the way, it’s a gas station not a parking lot. Can you believe that he got out the car and tried to talk shit? I hopped out the car thinkin he would think twice and scurry back into his car…but I was dressed for work. ARGGH, I need to keep a hoody, some sweats, and a pair of Tims in my trunk. Let these brown muthafuckas know why white people cross the streets when they see us.