Salma and Frenchie tie the knot

Looks like I have to wave the white flag and bow down. The French have finally won somethin (worth winning I guess). My former wife to be, Salma Hayek, has married the billionaire bastard Francois-Henri Pinault. I mean even his name is wack. We know you speak French, you’re FRENCH! That’s like me changing my name to English-The Tenant, absolutely absurd and stupid. And they got married on the 14th…for a French guy, he’s not that creative. Salma has ruined her life. “Ugly Betty” is gettin cancelled, Alec Baldwin is smoochin up to her, and her best reaction is to marry a billionaire. For the record, the reports are comin from a French publication that Frenchie owns…so maybe I should wait till she gets back to the States before I toss her clothes out on the lawn. In the meantime, I’ll be findin a replacement. Bitch.