Swine Flu is no more!

When I tell you that people are cookin up things behind the scenes, you gotta believe me (kinda). So now the swine flu will no longer be called the swine flu because there is no direct relation to the flu and pigs. And right now it’s hurtin the pork industry because stupid people think that if you eat pork, you’ll catch it. People are just damn stupid I tell ya. So now the new name of the flu is “H1N1”. Yeaaaaaaah, doesn’t really roll off the tongue like swine flu. I think I’ma stick with that. Anyways, I still think that Obama is behind all this and aptly named the flu based on the fact that spending on preventing pandemic flu was called ‘pork’ spending by the Republicans. Too bad he did more damage than good. He shoulda just said that “patient zero” was a Republican. That woulda really tipped some scales in his favor. Eh, pork isn’t that good for you anyways. So where is the good news in all this? You can eat pork and not worry abut getting sick (unless you prepare it wrong…then you deserve to be sick). Oh, another positive from this swine flu? It’s keepin the country together. Remember how Texas was talkin bout seceding? Well they have declared a state of emergency and have asked the Federal Government for support. Governor Perry, sit yo ass down bitch.