I'd still eat Alessandra's Coochella

Here is Alessandra and her baby daddy, Jaime Mazur, at Coachella music festival. Where are her new mom boobs? The bitch is flat as a board still…me no likey.

I didn’t go to this shit for multiple reasons. First, I’m a wigger and I don’t listen to that cracka ass cracka music. Maybe if they brought Mobb Deep or had some Eightball & MJG, then I woulda went. Second, it’s out in the desert where temperatures hit 100 degrees. Who can have fun in 100 degree weather? WHO??? Third, they don’t let you bring your own drinks or food, so you can imagine the fun the vendors have patting down your wallets like a high priced hooker. My friend went (his dumbass went at like noon, the hottest part of the day and stayed till 11pm just when the good acts were comin on), and he said a bottle of water was like $4 and a hotdog was like $9. Yeah, no thanks. Anyways, if you’re into celeb watchin then Coachella is the place to go. This is where they flock to for some odd reason…and throw awesome parties in the hotels.