Me Likely

Ahhhhh, damn you Video Games, takin up all my blogging time….but you’re so good to me, but then you spit on me right after. You are the Bobby to my Whitney. The K-Fed to my Britney. When I wasn’t invited to that party that everyone was goin to, you stayed home with me. But then you’ve kept me in your grasp for so long that I got yelled at by my father. You’ve taught me compassion when you let me choose whether to kill the rat or let him live. But you’ve also taught me bad sportsmanship when tauntin my little cousin after a crushin defeat. Oh Video Games, how I love you so.

Poetry...Bless You style lol. I bet you got a dumb look on your face right now. "What does he mean Bless You style poetry?" HAIKU IDOIT!!! Stop makin me explain my funniness.

America is for sale and the foreigners are buyin her skanky ass for cheap!!! Damn this weak ass dollar. Can’t even buy food off the dollar menu anymore, I need 2 dollars!! The Recession doesn’t worry me. An economy goes up, and it goes down. Just like a bobblehead (no, not the doll lmao). No, but American companies being owned by non Americans does scare me. A) It fucks with our sense of pride B) It makes us look weak to the world C) As an investor; it makes me feel like giving up. This is all Bush’s fault. Lol, I like to play that card a lot. It’s always in my pocket, along with the race card; I like to play that one often. Lmao, could you imagine if they reissued the Monopoly game with the race card? It would be underneath Chance and you would keep it for the entire game. And depending who got the card, it would have different advantages. If a white person had the card, then they would always get outta jail and never pay taxes. If a black person got the card then they wouldn’t pay rent because they are on section 8 housing. Spanish people would collect $100 for house cleaning fees from every player after each turn (ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, low blow, I know lol). Um, but back to the story at hand. America, stop sellin yourself you cheap whore. Have some dignity…or at least wait till I get a job overseas and can start buyin you for cheap too!

It appears that college presidents want to lower the drinking age from 21 to 18. Hurray right? Eh, not so much. God I feel like a tool, a rusty old tool sayin this but I don’t think the drinkin age should be lowered. Yeah I know kids already drink anyways but you know what the 2 (maybe 3) biggest issues are going to be? 1) Younger kids are goin to start drinkin because 2) 18 year olds make some dumb ass decisions. Back when I was 18, I woulda did somethin like give a 10 year old a shot of Jack. Why? Because I’m 18 and don’t know any better. Most 18 year olds hang out with people younger than them, because some of them are still in high school. Now you got an 18 year old buyin alcohol for the 13 and 14 year olds. Hell, you might see some 9 year olds in the mix if they tall enough lol. It hard enough tellin a 9 year old from a 16 year old nowadays…especially if they’re Chinese gymnast (lmao, and that’s all I’ma say about the matter!!!! Let them live). 3) More accidents and more deaths. That little whipper snapper has had his license for no more than 2 years (1 in some states 4 in others (but in these other states they are already getting married at that age so why not let them drink? lol). No, don’t lower the age. Colleges need to figure out a better solution…I mean all that untaxed money that they make a year….they could fuckin pay kids to remain sober (I wouldn’t have drank for an extra 1-2Gs a month).

Not one to be fooled by the propaganda (no, it's not a country in Africa you bloke), here is another big FUCK YOU to the people tryin to make me go Green due to the Earth melting. It appears (due to this fucked up ecosystem chain reaction) that the “dead zone” in the Gulf of Mexico has doubled in the past 2 years. A dead zone is an area in the water where there is not enough oxygen to sustain life and everythin from the shrimp up start dyin. How is there not enough oxygen in the water you may ask? “Farmers in Iowa and across the Midwest use tons of nitrogen and phosphorous to make their cornfields more productive, which allows the farmers to take advantage of high corn prices resulting from growing demand from ethanol factories and developing countries. “ The runoff seeps into the Mississippi which ends up in the Gulf, which kills the algae which dies, then it decomposes which uses oxygen which kills the scrimp which kills the fish, the crabs, the humans. Good job GM and your stupid flex fuel. Hopefully Honda buys out your bitch ass and you will pay more attention to the hydrogen fuel technology THAT I FUCKIN HELPED YOU DEVELOP!! (by help, I created hardware and software that tested the energy level of GM fuel cells. True story….great co-op).

Jeez, it’s gonna be a long week, and I haven't even touched on the $10 a day prostitutes.




The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!