Better If Read By 26 Aug 08

I'm back out here in the jungle (meanin I’m not sleepin in my bed again). I saw some homeless people this past weekend and wondered what it would be like to sleep outside for a week. I think I’ma take a week off from work and be homeless. I mean, I’ll still go home to eat dinner, but I’d sleep on park benches and get into bum fights (no homo). Hmmm, sounds like the next reality show…”Who Wants To Be A Homeless Bum!”

I used to hate Reggaeton music, until I lived in a Latin frat house, then I really hated it lol. All day, every party….never ending. But now, I LOVE IT! Why? Because my favorite reggaeton artist, Daddy Yankee, has thrown his support behind presidential hopeful Sen. McCain. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That’s the equivalent of Obama bringin the Ying Yang Twins on board…hell, it’s like bringing Uncle Luke Skywalker on board. Thank you Daddy Yankee, and thank you McCain for exploiting the Latin community in order to stack up minority votes. Look at how uncomfortable everyone looks in the video:

A ella le gusta la gasolina
(Da me mas gasolina!)
Como le encanta la gasolina
(Da me mas gasolina!)
HAHAHA, or like the Spanish do: JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!!

When is cheerleading going to become an Olympic sport? And I don’t mean the Bring It On variety with a bunch of high schoolers. I’m lookin for Dallas Cowgirls, Buffalo Jills, etc. type girls. I mean, could you imagine the international beauty without the silly questions or evening gowns? It would just be swimwear, trampolines, and splits. That’s an event I’d watch.

It appears that Satan is Using Olympic Volleyball to Get Young Boys to Masturbate! Lmao. At least according to the Landover Baptist Church. You know what, this article is soooo funny, I couldn’t do it justice by ranting on it. Just click the link and read.

I just saw this commercial for LEGOS Mars Mission or some shit. And the premise of the commercial was these astronauts were digging around and discovered an alien colony. Then when the “evil” aliens attacks, it's up to the kids to build a hypersonic spaceship and defeat the aliens. The same ones that you invaded by drilling around on a planet that didn’t belong to you. Why don’t we just call this planet North America and the aliens Native Americans? I’m pretty sure when ideas were being tossed around for this commercial, someone said “yea, then we can enslave the alien race and call them Niggaliens”.

Grounds for divorce in my eyes (yes, I'm a shallow bastard):


I mean, that shit just ain't cool (unless she really has a "thyroid" problem)
And I’m out, Jim Carrey in:




The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!