Starting tomorrow, all nudity

2 people won the Megamillions jackpot ($333 milli)on Friday. One person(s) in LA, the other somewhere in NY. Either way I’m neither person and I’m upset. That means I still have to dick around with this blog for you non referring bastards. To think I’d have closer to 1000 readers by now…And the only time I hit 300+ a day is when I feature some leaked nude photos. Looks like it’s time for a change in format.

Can Sen. Ted Kennedy rest in peace?

Last week Sen. Ted Kennedy passed away after his courageous battle with brain cancer. And at first I was going to say “RIP” and the whole bit, but then I heard the story about the pregnant women that drowned after Ted drove off the road and into the river (or lake). I’m not gonna give you the total history behind it (that’s what Google is for) but from what I understand he was drunk and he didn’t report the incident till the next day. There is also a rumor that the girl was preggers with his child (and Teddy was already married). I don’t really know how a drunk person can save themselves but a pregnant woman can’t. Was she unconscious? Either way there were a lot of questions and not enough answers and that pretty much DESTROYED Ted’s chances of ever running for President…which is prolly a good thing considering what happened to his older brothers. But because of all that crap, I can’t really say Rest in Peace because it’s obvious he can’t. Not with the public at least. Maybe he made amends with himself, God, and the girl’s family so they can say “RIP”. But I can’t. And we’ll leave it at that because I’m against talkin bad about the dead when they weren’t convicted of anything or haven’t done anything to me personally – that’s still tacky.

RIP DJ AM

DJ AM (Adam Goldstein) died this past weekend. Right now it looks like an overdose on prescription pills. I’m pretty sure he was still haunted by the pain and memories of that flight that took basically everyone’s life except his and good friend, Travis Barker. I still think that’s some sucker shit though. Like I said after the coroner’s report on MJ’s death, these people need to be monitored. If Britney’s dad ain’t step in and take over her life I’m pretty sure she’d be dead too. Where are the families of celebrities who are on the edge and need help? Seriously, ODing on drugs was cool back when hardcore narcotics were new to the game and people wanted to push the limits of their high. Now I’m pretty sure people should know the limits and err on the side of LIFE instead of DEATH. Remember when T.O. overdosed last year? Lol. I wish that was on his reality show.

Stop smoking

Here is a public service announcement because I haven’t done them in a while and I want to save the few fans I have:


Wow. I’m not a smoker but chances are if I thought about it I would think twice after seein this video.

Bats for boobs

All I wanna know is how the hell does he know there are 20 million bats in there? Did he have them fill out a census? Do they have to register for housing before moving into the cave? I mean, 20 million is such a precise number. How do they know they aren’t counting the same bat twice? I’m pretty sure 100,000 bats flying at 60mph can look like 20 milli. Anyways, all that is pretty cool and I wouldn't mind leavin my ‘man’ GUANO on Betty Nguyen’s chin. Owwwww.


The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Do you still read this???

Keepin it easy cause I really should be retired, but I’m doin this because I love you more than I love retirement.

Right to bear arms, breasts, and anythin else

Why didn’t I get the memo? Fuck. I ain’t did shit either on Sunday. I coulda been out lookin at some tittays. I don’t even care about the age; 18-year old tit is as good as 60-year old tit in my book. Lmao. Alright anyways, freedom is a tricky word that gets used very loosely at times. People always think that they have the “freedom” to do whatever they want. It’s why they are in America. But to be honest, our freedoms are very conditional with the biggest condition bein that your freedom doesn’t interfere with someone else’s freedom or the freedoms of the greater society. So while that chick with the black lipstick wants to be free to sunbath nude, my eyes want to be free of any visuals that will make my stomach sick. Not everyone wants to see 60-year old titty. Not all wives are gonna be happy with their hubbys lookin at 18-year old titty. And because you can’t discriminate one age verses another, nobody can show their titties. There are beaches that don’t have an issue with nudity so go find those, they really aren’t hard to find in So Cal. Just make sure you invite me along, owwwwwwwwwwww.

Chris Brown and Rihanna are the '09 Ike and Tina.

Chris Bezzy was sentenced today. He has to do some bullshit community service. I don’t understand how you can be on felony probation and not have served anytime. If you’re a felon, you gotta do time right? How you get FELONY charges and just be walkin the streets? Well the real shocker (even though it’s not really a shocker) is that this isn’t the first time Brown has fought with Rihanna. Two other unreported instances have came to light (I guess Ri Ri started snitching after the February incident). One time in Europe, Rihanna had slapped Chris and he shoved her into a wall. Another time they were arguin in a rented Land Rover in Barbados and he pulled the car over and got out. He ended up breakin the front door, and smashing the passenger window. It’s funny how we put celebrities on a pedestal above regular people when at the end they aren’t any smarter than Joe the Plumber. That’s some real loser type shit of Rihanna to be with a guy that is violent when angry. She has all the money and looks (if you can get past her 5-head which she has stylishly covered with her hair cuts) but still hangs out with someone like Chris Brown. It makes no sense to me whatsoever. Tons of guys would treat her properly. Maybe it’s her daddy’s fault. He didn’t hug her enough as a child. I mean, it’s Chris Brown step daddy’s fault he’s abusive since his step dad beat up his moms. I hate to sound like I’m better than anyone or I’m perfect but I never understood why I live this mediocre life and idiots run around rich and shit. Maybe I should play the idiot and get some of this money.

Jessica Barton rides stick....well

A girl that looks good and likes cars is like finding a man that likes shopping with women. They gotta be homos. But alas there exists such a woman. Jessica Barton is her name.

Owww and yes there are pics online of her topless. GOOGLE!!! Here is a video of her in her Supra doin a qrt in like 9 seconds. Niceeee:




The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Fire kills fighters in Buffalo

Wanna start off by sayin RIP to the 2 heroes who put their lives on the line in Buffalo. Two firefighters were killed when responding to reports that someone was still trapped inside. Craziness.

Raekwon feat Inspectah Deck, Ghostface Killah & Method Man - House Of Flying Daggers

Raekwon the Chef is back. Here is the first single off his new album ‘Only Built for Cuban Linx 2’.


Nice animation, wish it had a bit more depth. Maybe he can do all his videos like this and package them on a DVD. That would be nice. This makes me nostalgic for some old school Shaolin flicks. Oh and if you missed it, the Wu represented the 5 Deadly Venoms…step your kung fu game up.

Coroner says Jackson overdosed on sleeping drug

Well, at least Mike won’t complain about not gettin sleep anymore...shake MY FUCKING HEAD!!! WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!! Is it necessary for a celebrity to have a drug problem? Why the fuck aren’t there more regulations to protect these people. I equate a celebrity to someone with a mental retardation. These muthafuckas don’t know right from wrong. They need caregivers!!! How you gonna end your legacy on an overdose? FUCK!!! Just like the rest of them Mike, what the fuck man. I knew it was drugs, but to hear it just fucks with me. I still can’t say aloud that “Michael Jackson is dead.” It just fucks with me. FUCK. Fuck that doctor. Kill his ass. Give him some sleepin medication. Idiot. Matter of fact, send him to jail. In the Philippines. Next time the inmates do a tribute, Conrad can play the bitch.

Interview with the Tiger slayer

The only highlight of that video is Kyung Lah…hmmmmm. I’d share my egg roll with her. Give her some hard noodles. Then she could slurp up my won ton soup. LMAO, what is wrong with me???? Congrats to Y.E. Yang for beatin a black man in a non black man sport. Where your basketball skills at…oh wait. Yao. Obviously Asians are nice in baseball. Hmmm, hockey??? That’s the only sport Caucasians will dominate because nobody really cares for playin any games in a freezing environment. And NASCAR...because driving in ovals is straight sissy.

Wealthy black folk and it's not Oprah

Really? These guys are black? Soledad O’Brian is blacker than them two. Sigh, whatevers. Well kids, if these “Negros” can make it, so can you. Matter of fact, let me leave y’all with better words of wisdom from another “blackie”:

“Bosses don’t believe in failure. Everything, right or wrong, is the key to success. You know, one situation may not work so we move on and make another.”~ Tyree Cinque Simmons. It’s Gangsta Grillz you bastards!!!

Dissolvable bikini in action (NSFW)

Remember when I did the post on the dissolvable bikini? Well there is a video of it in action. Sadly I can’t embed it, so click the link (totally NSFW). I really need to purchase it for some girls…owwww.

I would rock Miss Universe's world, galaxy, and universe

Even though Miss Venezuela, Stefania Fernandez, beat out Miss Dominican Republic, Ada Aimee De la Cruz, for the Miss Universe crown, these pictures of both ladies mean that you’re the real winner. Enjoy.

Stefania Fernandez

 

Ada Aimee De la Cruz

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Uh ohhhh uh uh oh oh oh

So it’s Good Friday!!! Everyone seems to be enjoyin the good life. People gettin engaged, some come home to a wife and kid, some just got the wife, some just got the kid (lol)…sigh. All my single fellas, all my single fellas, now put your hands up!!! Need to make that into a track. I need an anthem.

Jay-Z feat. Kanye West, Rihanna - Run This Town

Jay’s new video for Run This Town.


Wow, pretty impressive. I’m glad that had a budget and had a vision which was executed well with the great scenery and costumes. Hmmm, Rihanna. Still not anticipating the Blueprint 3 tho…

Lambo Lemon

Give me the damn car. I don’t care what sound it makes as long as the engine sounds right and the pussies get wet. Kinda bizarre that Lambo didn’t just replace everything. Brakes, tires, the whole shebang. Why the hell is a $250K car makin noises like that anyways? I don’t think there is really anything good about this story except that rich people have car troubles too? Whatever.

Padma Lakshmi is like 7th Heaven

Padma Lakshmi looks stunning at the premier of that Bastards movie (the one with Brad Pitt). Even with a hideous scar on her arm, I’d still do her all day everyday – twice on Sundays. And not because of her rack (which is pretty nice) but because she’s a chef (or at least hosts a show with chefs) and she would make me a mean sandwich afterwards. I’d be in Heaven (or Nirvana as she would say).

Rachel McAdams pokes out!!!

Dammmmn son, Rachel McAdams got a donk? I don’t believe it…someone find me some bikini pics STAT!!! if it holds true, she might be a Unicorn.

Rihanna pokes out too!!!

Dammmmn son, Rihanna got a donk too? I don’t think I’ve ever caught her from the back. Impressive for a skinny girl.

Cassie needs to just pose for Playboy

It’s sad that some girls wake up lookin like this: and think it’s a good look. Bitch, grow out your hair. At least she ain’t bald like Amber Rose.

Amber Rose's body is unworldy

Amber Rose at Miami Beach with Kanye lookin tittalious but damn, will this bitch grow out her hair? See uncensored pics here.

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Crazy Tuesdays

So I’m here in Seattle again. This time the weather is a bit LA-ish with more sun and less rain. Still, I’m annoyed. With the world in general I guess. Maybe that’s what I need to get me going on the Rant. Can't believe people brought guns to an Obama event??? Wow. Imagine if someone did that durin a Bush event.

Fabolous feat. Jay-Z - When The Money Goes

Fab has one of the nicest albums this summer, if not the best. Don’t bother with the extra DVD. That shit was a waste of 45mins.

Nice lil cameo by Jay-Z. I wish they kept the lost verses that Jay spit. But it might have taken away from the album since there were like NO cameo appearances outside of Fab’s peeps and R&B singers. That chick was hot, HOLLA!!

LeBron gets it wrong

You know, I choose my favorite players on how well they play the game and not necessarily their personalities or off camera antics. That’s why I like T.O., that’s why I like LeBron. And because of that separation I distinguish between the personas, I have no problem callin out a bitch move when I see it. And this interview was definitely a bitch move. Ok, James there is 82 games in the regular season and if you don’t shake hands that’s fine because it’s just one game and you’ll prolly play that team again. But it was the playoffs and this team just beat you in the Conference Finals. You don’t have to show respect, do what you like, but don’t come with some weak ass excuse on why you didn’t shake hands. Just be a man and say “fuck Dwight and the Magic. We shoulda won but I had a bullshit squad. But I’ll see them next year, ight?” If he said that and kept it movin, yes it’s poor PR but IT’S REAL!!! Now he looks like an even bigger jerk with his canned statement. Same goes with the explanation of bein dunked on. JUST MAKE LIGHT OF THE SITUATION!!! You got dunked on. Laugh it off. WHO IS GONNA CALL YOU OUT?? You’ve dunked on pretty much EVERYONE in the league. Stop actin like a lil bitch.

Victoria's Secret Models should dance in underwear

Alessandra and Marisa are on some MTV show, dancing off…


All I know is I wanna insert my penis in Marisa’s buttock. Owwwwww.

Britney Spears is still bangin...wow

I love Britney and her sad nipples:

Norelys Rodriguez needs to model for me

Venezuelan and hot…need I say more?

The Rant Is Due Muthafuckas!!!

I need to learn patwa and cuss people out

It’s the weekend, wanna get some sleep and sleep this week away. Or maybe not since I gotta be back in Seattle on MUTHAFUCKIN SUNDAY! I HATE right now. What do I hate? Everything. No T&A!!!

Award for lawsuit against tobacco company

First thing I hate are stupid lawsuits. “Oh my wife died from lung cancer from smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. Gimme $1.9 million.” FUCK YOU. Your wife smoked because she wanted to, because she was “addicted”. I’m addicted to porn, if I jerk my dick till it breaks will I get a settlement from Hustler and Playboy??? I don’t think so, but maybe I should find out since in America we can sue anyone for just about anything and stupid jurors will side will the idiot instead of looking at the big picture and doing what’s right!!! How can anyone trust the judicial system where justice is rarely served? And if it is, it’s wrong. I need to sue the readers of my blog for not reading enough and makin me money. I’m stressin out because I can’t blog from a fuckin island. I have to be in a bullshit hotel in a bullshit city. And the man is 92 years old. What the fuck is he gonna need almost 2 million dollars for? Depends don’t cost that much!!!

Does Facebook promote stupidity?

Another thing I hate is stupid people. Why this dude create a fake Facebook account, acted like a white supremacist, and threatened black people? WHY? WHY? Why is this dude black and say he did it for shits and giggles? WHY??? KILL YOURSELF. No wait. Kill your parents for fuckin up raising you, then go kill yourself. Since when is it cool to be a ‘black’ white supremacist when it’s not even cool to be a ‘white’ white supremacist. Givin people heart attacks talking bout you wanna kill a black person because Obama won. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??? There are MORE than enough things to worry about in the world than some punk tryin to get a reaction from people. That’s the internet thugging bullshit and it caught up to someone (FINALLY). I hope he gets the maximum punishment of 5 years in prison and the quarter milli fine. YOU’RE TOO STUPID TO BE IN SOCIETY SO TAKE A 5 YEAR HIATUS.

Michael Phelps is not news worthy

I hate stupid celebrities who make the news for stupid car accidents. Like Michael Phelps who was in a car accident the other day. Was he hurt? No. Did anyone die? No. Was their alcohol involved? Most likely not. SO WHY IS THIS IN THE NEWS??? The Olympics ain’t for another 3 years. This accident doesn’t affect the outcome of the swimming competitions. We’d still win without Phelps. Take Mer-man’s irrelevant ass out the fuckin news and tell me if I have to provide health care to Jorge and his family. Because I’d rather not; it’s a lot easier to drive down to the border and pick up a new family.

Who are you? And what do you do?

I hate when irrelevant guys got hot chicks preggers. Like this fag named Scott Disick. Even his name sounds like a fuckin dweeb. Google his name, find somethin positive about him. Hell, look at this banner from a “fan” made site:

OH YES, that’s the bitch he got preggers. FUCK HIS AND MY LIFE. I love a fat ass but I didn’t really wanna deal with a blonde Kardashians so my sights were set on Kourtney. BOOM! Did you see a bird just drop? Now her ovaries are ruined…And the family is happy for her? Talk about settin the bar low.

Vick flew with the Falcons but will soar with the Eagles

Michael Vick is back and with the Eagles. I would rather see him in a Bills uniform with T.O. but whatevers. McNabb is a bitch and Vick is a hardened criminal. It’s time for the NFL to begin. I’m out.

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

It's really Thursday!

Welcome back, the week is almost over and that means I get to leave this rainy town. YES!

Waitresses forced into sex trade

Damn did she forget that Diddy lives there too? He’s the reason the Hamptons are on the map. Those low key white people don’t talk about where they live and throw parties!!! Anyways, what kinda nigga has threesomes with minors? That ain’t pimpin. Why was he released with his balls intact? What the hell is second degree and third degree rape? He didn’t nut or somethin? He bought them dinner? I guess they don’t call it a ‘strip’ mall for nothin. Well I’m glad those girls have been rescued even though the damage has been done. It kinda makes you wonder about your significant other…if she has skeletons she hasn’t disclosed. You kinda feel like there are a lot of women silently carryin this burden of being abused. More numbers than are reported or people would admit. Are people really that sex driven that they would strip another person of their dignity? I wish I could make dolls that were damn near human. I would sell them for cheap if it meant saving someone’s life. Hell, I would even make some that resembled children. Of course idiots would say that I’m PROMOTING child molestation by creating sex dolls in the form of kids but I would say the pervs are gonna molest a child whether I make a doll or not. At least let them do it to an “emotionless” doll that won’t grow up fucked up. And Nancy Grace needs to simmer down. All that shoutin isn’t necessary; we’re all appalled.

African Taliban has a better ring to it

I owe an apology to Mrs. Clinton. Couple days ago I came at her neck sayin that she was unstylish and frumpy lookin. Well after her visit to the Motherland epicenter (that’s Nigeria), I gotta say she’s lookin pretty good enough to eat….ok, well maybe not that far. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was in Nigeria warning that Al Qaeda might try to infiltrate the country due to its radical Muslims livin there. She also mentioned that Nigeria is doing well to fight corruption but really needs to step their game up. I mean when a country pulls in 300 billion in revenue from oil and still has dirt roads, somebody is fuckin up. And of course it’s easy to blame the black man…niggas don’t know what to do when they get money. Buy spinning rims and put it in their chandeliers. But I also blame the white man. Because he knows what corruption money can get him and instead of takin the high road and makin sure the money is allocated properly, he’ll grease the palm of a sweaty African so that he can dump waste in the ocean. Or build pipelines through villages without any compensation. So while I do applaud the efforts of S.O.S Clinton, she does need to fall back a little and really look at what’s goin on.

Man shoots up toll booth

Yo, niggas be crazy for reals. I mean who takes a shotgun and blasts a woman at a toll booth? That’s not a domestic dispute, that’s a crazy muthafucka shootin someone. Nathaniel Burris, 46, was arrested for the murder of two people at a toll booth plaza on Tuesday. The one person was in the booth (his ex boo I guess) and the other was a dude in a car. No clue if the dude in the car was creepin with Nate’s old girl but that’s still a sucker move to shoot a dude in the car. I’m thinking that he was just minding his business tryin to get home and end up with buck shots. Total buffoonery.

Dane Cook is actually funny

NOT a Dane Cook fan, but he gets it in at the Teen Choice Awards:
HAHAHAHA. Look at Vanessa’s face. Not amused at all. Whomp whomp broad, keep the clothes on next time.

Damn, Reggie Bush cheated? Shoulda known

Here is an interview Carmen Ortega did about her and Reggie Bush.

Damn, what a whore. She doesn’t even feel remorse for it either. And she plans on releasin the sex tape yet she calls Kim a porn star? Even if that bitch is fine with her fake ass titties, I wouldn’t even date the slut. Nut in her eye so she doesn’t see me leave.

Mallika Sherawat gives you a new face to jerk too

Mallika Sherawat at the Inglourious Basterds premier…um HOLLA!

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!