Pay me bitch!!

Three days of posts in a row…that’s like workin overtime!

Drake feat. Kanye West, Lil' Wayne, Eminem...and I guess LeBron James - Forever

No comment yet…just another bad Drake video.

What the fuck is this? A LeBron dedication song? Anyways. Drake – alright. Kanye – hot. Wayne – alright. Em – MURRRRDDDERRRERRRR! Still not seein the hype of Drake. Has hip hop gotten so bad that anyone who puts together a couple lines and sound like they aren’t the offspring of two cousins considered ‘hot’? Come on guys. Drake ain’t shit right now.

Are children safer now than before?

So I’ve been meaning to talk about this for a while but just kept forgetting. What’s the deal with parents these days? Are they just stupid or just bad? Why are the constantly puttin their children in harm’s way? And I’m not talkin bout the usual ignorant ghetto or white trash. These are regular people that you think would be able to make sound decisions. Take for instance, high school kid with Facebook and MySpace pages. I understand that this is the new medium and forum for kids to keep in contact but didn’t anyone learn their lessons from the chat rooms of the late 90s? Back then everyone was anonymous and predators had to jerk off to pics your child sent (if your child was dumb enough to do so). Now we got girls with half their asses hangin out on YOUTUBE! And of course that same video is prolly linked to their MyFace page (that’s my hybrid word…easier than typin the two). Since when is this much overexposure good? Hell, half the celebrities can’t handle overexposure without goin into rehab. Another issue I have is with the cell phones. They’ve only been around for about 20 years and research is still inconclusive about whether or not the radiation can cause damage. I mean the chemicals that our parents have ingested during their early adulthood are startin to show up in our younger brother and sisters. ADHD, Autism, and the other increasing child learning disabilities are proof of that. Seriously, thank GOD for texting otherwise I’d hate to see what our children will look like in 20 years. Does an 8 year old really need a cell phone? Why isn’t he/she with an adult to begin with? I fear I may end up being that super overprotective parent…or at least just a very cautious one. And why not? A child is a huge investment. Probably the best investment. And if you take care of it, they will take care of you. Lol.

Women pregnant with wrong embryo

I don’t know what Carolyn is so upset about…her boobs look fantastic!!! I wouldn’t mind milking those for a week. Ohhhh my soul is doomed. Anyways, that’s totally crazy. Glad they decided to keep the baby…can’t imagine how the mom is gonna feel once she has to give it away. This is why I’m goin old school with my methods. Instead of In Vitro, it’s gonna come Out PeenHole and get her preggers. The best part is the end when Kiran tries to see some good in the situation and The Savages look at her like “you dumb bitch. We wanna be pregnant with our own baby!”

Cops taser amputee

Fuck the police…what more do you want me to say? I hate 90% of them. Matter of fact, the only cops I like are the ones on TV. Fuck the rest of them. They all wimps. If you a cop, you a wimp. End of story.

Blake Lively at the Emmy's

Here is Blake Lively at the Emmy’s lookin pretty tasty. A lot of fashion critics loved her Versace dress…me, I love her fake tits. I mean really, I’ve seen them from different angles and there is no way those aren’t man made. Either way, the entire ensemble makes her look delish…if that’s a word a straight man can use.

Padma Lakshmi at the Emmy's

My curry lovin wifey, Padma, at the Emmy’s. What more can I say that hasn’t been thought or said? I would spread her like mustard.

I will not marry an American

It’s videos like that, that make me wonder….WHY THE FUCK DO I STILL LIVE IN AMERICA????



The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Worst intro ever

Tomorrow is another day…

Wedding Bells and baby shower for Khlamar (Khole and Lamar)

So Khloe Kardashian is preggers. That’s the only logical reason that her and Lamar Odom would be getting married on Sunday after dating for just a month. I mean seriously, what is goin on here? Is she tryin to increase ratings for her show or somethin? I don’t get people sometimes. This is a country with a 51% divorce rate. When are people gonna realize that marriage isn’t just a piece of paper that you can pour white-out over when you’ve realized you made a mistake? While I do wish the best to them, I’m not gonna lie and say their actions don’t disgust me.

Die Orsons covers Turn My Swag On

I was gonna do a bigger post but after watchin this video, it kinda took my heart outta it.


My problems feel so miniscule compared to what these kids have to deal with. We live in a land full of opportunity and so many people fail to take a real advantage of it (myself included) and it’s really pathetic. The things we fight and argue over…healthcare. Like there are kids gettin killed on a daily basis out there because their government isn’t stable enough. What the fuck man. I don’t think “Turn My Swag On” is the best cover but I’ll let the song slide since the message is still the same. These kids are turned into militants for someone else’s greed for money and power. They gotta turn their swag on but they ain’t the ones gettin money. It’s gut wrenching to be honest with you. I see things like this and wish an asteroid would wipe out this planet. There is no reason for anyone to suffer like this.


The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Middle of September crisis

Whoa, what a long week last week. Almost took a man outta commission but I’m back and totally out the loop on what’s goin on in the world. Feel free to drop me a line if there is a topic worth discussing. Right now it’s on with the show. Oh and fuck iTunes 9. The piece of shit keeps crashin everytime I delete a song and it’s made my computer unresponsive. Why don’t they make a commercial about that?

Jadakiss feat. Ruff Ryders - "Who's Real" remix

It’s Double R bitches!!!

Yo, I love this video. Brings back nostalgia to the Ruff Ryder days. They were the ultimate rap group. DMX, The LOX, Eve (who was the best female MC at the time…fuck Kim and Foxy), and Drag-On the up and comer. Then cap it off with supa producer Swizz Beats? They really shoulda ran the game. Too bad mismanagement fucked them over. I love the fact that they even let X spit last even though it’s Kiss’s song. With the demise of Dip Set, I’d be glad to see the Ruff Ryders get back together and hold down NY rap.

Television in 3-D

It looks like 3-D TV is gonna be the next wave in television technology…and it may be comin sooner than you think. Many companies (including Sony, JVC, and Panasonic) are workin on making these TV sets available by next year. Some channels like ESPN are broadcasting in 3-D (they have dual-lens cameras now). I think that is totally cool that the prices for the new TVs won’t be any more than how much HD TVs cost now. There are small kinks to work out, such as the glasses givin people headaches. Some critics think that 3-D TV won’t do that well because not all shows really need to be in 3-D, like the news for instance. I think it would really help with the movies if anything which is why I’m glad Blu-Ray movies might start coming out in 3-D as well. I really wanted to see “Up” in 3-D but I don’t think I’ll have the chance anymore…I need to make friends with people with younger nieces and nephews lol. Could you imagine if they took this technology to porn? I’m surprised the porn industry hasn’t already hopped on this (no pun intended). POV (point of view) movies would be top sellers!!!

Kids don't know who the first President was

Our kids are stupid…duh. What the fuck do you expect when you spend more money on fighting wars than education? And I don’t blame Bush, Republicans, or any one person in the demise of the quality in education today. Even as a young baby blogger I remember how schools would have to cut funding for certain programs. The way they were cutting funds back then, I’m truly surprised that we even have school buildings. I would have thought by now that everyone would be home schooled and work packets would be sent to the children’s homes and if the parents helped them that would be an added bonus. Our lack of education is what has really knocked our country down a couple notches on the leader board for powerful 1st world countries. We don’t develop and create things like we used to. We focus on makin more money than we need and have shifted away on developing things for the reason of social advancement. To say our future is doomed is probably a gross understatement. Hopefully Obama will be able to push for some kind of educational reform durin his next term (lol, oh yeah, he’s comin back).

Kanye West and Taylor Swift have the same agent

Last week the world bashed Kanye West for stealin the show at the VMAs. Well it has been uncovered that both Kanye and Taylor Swift have the same agent. This makes a lot of people believe the incident was staged. I’m leaning towards everyone but Taylor was in on it. To say that she isn’t tryin to increase her popularity and maybe crossover is a total lie. Let’s not forget that she did a rap video with T-Pain earlier this year. I’m pretty sure havin Kanye interrupt your award speech is definitely somethin she wouldn’t mind happen. Look at the setup. When most people are drunk at award shows, it’s more subtle. They don’t arrive on the red carpet brandishing some cognac. They usually go to the pre parties and drink up there. But in every single pic, Kanye was drinkin the Henny or passin it for someone else to take a swig. Then they sat him in the front row. It’s all very fishy to me and I wouldn’t be surprised if they admit to it being staged by the end of the year.

Jessica Wood makes it easy

I could make so many “hard penis” jokes from here last name…but what’s the point? You just wanna look at her pics. So enjoy!

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Traveling again...

Argggh, I’m headin out to Vegas for work today. Sooooo, I hope you’re jealous. I don’t know where I’m really goin with this intro…except Splaboos.com is comin soon. Oh, and Alicia Keys is sooo fine, that if I was a woman I would go lesbian for her. But I’m not a woman. So I’m in luck. I think.

Man spends too much time with dolls

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. Is that how hard (or soft) it is in Japan for men these days? I ain’t gonna lie, dealin with women is a pain in the ass. Not all of the time, just most of the time. But I’ll be damned if I substitute the warm flesh of a naggin bitch for the warm synthetic flesh of a doll. That is just creepy. I love the translator’s voice. Did they purposely find the creepiest sounding guy in the world to do the dubbing?

RIP Patrick Swayze

It makes you realize nobody is invincible. I mean, here we have millionaires still succumbing to shit like cancer. I woulda thought they would have the best doctors, take care of their health, and all that shit. Anyways, RIP Patrick.

Kanye interrupts Taylor Swift (a lovely white girl)

MTV Shows

Ok, ya’ll know how I feel about ‘Ye. I respect him in every aspect and all his actions whether it’s socially right or not. But this shit right here is totally disrespectful. It’s one thing do shit that affects you and you alone, but he interrupted Taylor’s moment. That shit is ridiculous. Did you see her face? He ruined her moment. There is no forgiving that. I mean Taylor will prolly win another moon man in her life (once she does some country pop), but still. Douchebag. I don’t know of any sane person who thinks what Kanye did was cool. EVERYONE and their MOMMMAS have called him out his name for that. I believe he apologized on Twitter but what the fuck is that? Yeah it’s public but I don’t find it to be the most sincere form. He should give her a beat. That’s love right there. No sickos, he should give her a beat like have sex with her…he has Amber to beat up (in slang, to “beat up” means to beat up the pussy. That’s good sex right there). He should produce one of her next tracks. Everyone has lashed out at him sayin he only did it to Taylor Swift because he could, meaning she’s a small white girl who wouldn’t have punched him in the face. They prolly right. He wouldn’t have let his drunkenness get the best of him if a stronger personality was onstage. And Beyonce still won Video of the Year. So what the fuck Kanye? What the fuck?

MTV Shows

Dammmmmmmmn, is she smuggling Killer Tomatoes in that dress? Classy broad. Gotta love her.



*Update - Kanye was on the Jay Leno show and he apologized:

He shoulda blamed it on the alcohol. Because now it seems like he was in the right state of mind when he did it and that's just corny. Whatever. I still listen to R. Kelly, MJ, and Chris Brown...I'll most likely still listen to Kanye.

Kanye interrupts Obama too!!!

Man, Kanye just doesn’t learn!!! I hope Obama takes him out back and gives him a good ole ass whuppin!

Lol, I love the “That’s not true” at the end. ROFL.

Kanye West has nothin on the Ol' Dirty Bastard

Let’s not forgot the most infamous award interruption.

And I’m not even mad at ODB. I mean it sucks to get overlooked when you’re makin great music. It’s one thing to think you’re makin great music and it’s another when the people think you are too. And then when you get snubbed? The politics are just too much at award shows. The right person never wins, that’s why I don’t watch them. I do want to see this year’s VMAs though. Funny how MTV has all the clips available on their site, but there are none on YouTube. Makes me wonder if the whole Kanye shit was staged…at least from Kanye’s and MTV’s side. The heartbroken look on Taylor couldn’t be fake otherwise she’ll be getting an Emmy too.

Salma Hayek hasn't moved on

Here are pics of the ex wife. She doesn’t even look as good as she used to…Damn she still looks good. But I’ve moved on too. I got me a doll. Looks just like her.

2009 VMA Red carpet

Last VMA shit…the hotness. Was the theme for the award show black and gold or silver dresses? No fashion forwardness…I don’t include Lady Gaga because she really isn’t fashionable. More like an experiment gone wrong. I like the spikes in Katy’s dress. Anyways, VMA red carpet. Enjoy!!!

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Lazy bastard

Check back tomorrow as I talk about MJ's induction to the HOF, Jay's benefit concert and awesome album, and the VMA's (Kanye Kanye Kanye)

This is like 3 posts in a week…whoa.

Um, this is like 3 posts in a week…whoa.

Crazy Republican cheats on wife, and brags about it while mic is hot

Any Republican that talks about family values is havin an affair. Any man in power is prolly havin an affair because his power allows him to do so. That’s why I have to quit the blog before I get married…then again I’ll prolly end up marryin a woman who knows the deal and will let me cheat. This story is kinda crazy, I mean he’s 54 and the women are in their 30s CHEATING on their husbands. Like it would be one thing if he was pullin single bitches. But he’s pullin married ones. I’m never gonna get married. You just can’t trust women. They see that money or that power or that means to move up in life, and they fuck for it. Not all women, just the go getters. So maybe I’ll just marry a loser lol.

Crazy Republicans heckle the President

LMAO, I love it. You know when someone is talkin and you don’t believe them so you cough out “bullshit”? That’s EXACTLY what Rep. Joe Wilson did. Except he didn’t cough loud enough. I thought the speech was good, Obama made some keys points. However, I’m more of a doer rather than talker. This means that Obama’s plan needs to go into action and garnish positive results before I stand up and applaud after every key point he makes. Seriously, those people were up and down, up and down. I woulda been annoyed like “yo, sit ya’ll asses down till he finished.” I do wish that people would cheer like that when I enter a room. I might have like a motion activated sound system so that every time I walk into my bedroom, the sounds of cheering and applauding go off. Matter of fact, it would yell first “Ladies and Gentleman…THE MANDINGO WARRIORRRRRRRRR!!!” lmao. Imagine bringin a girl home to that…priceless.

Robin Meade needs a boost from me

Let’s be realistic Robin Meade. I can see why you didn’t have a lot of confidence lookin at the two older pics. It’s because you weren’t as hot. The short hair? The acid washed jeans? Ok. But now, you’ve spent some money and you look like a woman who should be spread over a dinner plate. Virginia Cho can be the appetizer. Owwwwwwwww!

Chris Brown feuds with Oprah...death of sales

Alright, ummmm. Who cares? This isn't Pass The A1 worthy. It's like a squabble between friends.Oprah is tryin to make the bucks by catering to her demographic. If she sided with Chris Brown in any sorta of way, it woulda tarnished her image. Chris really shouldn’t have said much, and just accepted it as that’s business. “A slap in the face”? POOR CHOICE OF FUCKING WORDS!!! Oprah’s response shoulda been “He should be glad that my slap in face was just verbal. Bitch!” Hahahahaha.

Padma Laksmi is tainted...

What’s hot? Padma Lakshmi. What’s not? Air brushing scars that basically define you. Look at her arm. Where is the arm length scar she suffered from a crazy car accident? I already told her I dig chicks with scars. Why she hiding it?

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Do you know what time it is?

It's 09:09:09 on 09/09/09.......death to everyone!!!!*


*Except those on military time and not in PST.

Werk-N-Jerk Wednesdays!!!

Ok, let’s quickly get into some gossip because I didn’t really pay attention to the news today. I heard Obama spoke to the kids. That’s a good look. Glad education reform is still a priority for him.

Pass The A1

Everyone here should be familiar with T-Pain and his use of the autotune device that changes his voice. That’s because after the success Lil’ Wayne had with it on Lollipop, everybody and they momma tried to jump on the autotune bandwagon. Anyways, its use was being abused and Jay-Z called for a halt to using it on his track D.O.A. (see video here). Well this past weekend T-Pain was at Rehab (the club…no it’s an actual club in Vegas) and he was feelin himself a bit too much. See here:


Whoa Negro. I understand where he is comin from, because who is Jay to say when autotune is over and done with? But I would never diss Jay. Not because I would be afraid of what his response would be, because frankly Jay’s battle record is shaky at best. Lost to Nas…I don’t care what anyone says. Nas destroyed Jay. Lost to Cam…no response is equal to an ‘L’. Lost to Jadakiss…apologizing on the two way is not gangsta. Anyways, I wouldn’t diss Jay because the people love him. He’s like hip-hop savoir. Jay-Hovah as he used to be called. Also, people are sick of autotune, so for T-Pain to defend somethin not worth defending – like the dignity of crack head hooker – he really looks stupid. Even Faboulous came at T-Pain, which is the real point of my post (LMAO, wow this is dumb long and winded):

Ok, so I’m kinda confused on when Twitter became the official voice of hip-hop. Really? We gonna battle on Twitter now? Niggas ain’t even gonna try to make diss records any more? SUPER LAZY!!! I guess Fab eventually realized that T-Pain ain't talk shit about him because he changed his [auto]tune later:

I hate Twitter…but follow me on it anyways http://twitter.com/thetenant.

Christina Milian makes her Dream come true

Congrats to The Dream and Christina Milian gettin hitched this past weekend in Vegas. Damn it seems like Vegas was the place to be for Labor Day weekend. Never again will I make that mistake of not being there.

Tisha Campbell-Martin is still so crazyyyy....for her babbbbyyyyyyyy

Congrats to Tisha Campbell-Martin (40) on her second baby. This one showed up a couple days early (actually was due on the 21st). But everyone is healthy which is a plus. Tisha played ‘Gina’ on the highly successful comedy show ‘Martin’ starrin Martin Lawrence. Now I’ve been told that the show was cancelled because Martin would take the hanky panky a bit too far (which wouldn’t surprise me) and Tisha didn’t sign up for another year of it. If the allegations are true, why on earth would she marry someone with the last name of ‘Martin’? I mean damn, there’s no escaping it huh?

Sophie Reade may cause blindness

Sophie Reade has no real purpose in life other than to give you somethin to look at for Werk-N-Jerk Wednesdays!!! But don’t look her directly in the face; that shit will make your penis soft.

If you did look at her face, then look at the next face immediately after!!!

I hear that’s Lima’s “you’re too big” face…I heard it when she whispered it in my ear, owwwwwwwwww.

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Happy Labor Day!!!

It’s Labor Day but you know what? Who cares? I’ll work when I wanna bitch. Plus, I’m kinda annoyed with the world right now. And I think there are some breasts floatin around the web that you must see.

Grand Theft Auto IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony Trailer

Of course they would give the gay one to XBOX 360. PS3 players don’t play that kinda shit…I’m lyin. I love GTA so much that the main character could walk around in ass-less chaps and I’d still play it.

50 Cent - Flight 187

Not sure what 50 is doin, but he has defiantly switched his style up:

I kinda like the song. Glad he clowned Jay and that fake afro he was tryin to grow out. But why is he rappin like that? Is he really tryin to watch the money pile up? I thought he had enough, greedy ass.

Trey Songz' mom prolly makes love to his music...eww

You don’t have to watch the entire video, just up until Trey Songz shows his mom:

DAMMMMN. Is that his mom or girlfriend? I’d holla with the quickness. He’d have to change his name to Trey Sonz.

Shawne Merriman is top story on Cracka News Network

So “big” news this weekend is about how San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman was arrested SUSPICION of choking and restraining MTV reality show star Tila Tequila. Not even a real arrest because Tila was FULL of tequila and there were no marks on her. Shawne is black of course, so he would be arrested. And I will pull the race card. I don’t give a fuck. This is breaking news on CNN. Oh really? Where was the breaking news when Joe Francis (of Girls Gone Wild fame) beat up Brody Jenner’s girlfriend Playboy playmate, Jayde Nicole (remember the PETA girl with the lettuce bikini…check it out here)? Nobody made a fuss over that and that’s a bitch with a legitimate job. And she’s white. Aren’t white women America’s favorite demographic? I guess any chance to bring a black man down, the media will jump on it and Americans will RELISH in the fact. Hate you all. Make me sick. Merriman tried to restrain Tequila from leavin his home…hmmm I wonder why. Maybe because the bitch was drunk? That might be a good reason to stop someone from leavin. And he still got arrested. Even his lawyers said there are more than enough witnesses to collaborate his story. If that was the case, why was he arrested to begin with? Why didn’t they question the people there and get the facts straight? Joe Francis beat up Jayde and she’s pressin charges and there was no arrest warrant issued. Nobody went to Joe’s home and picked him up. Nobody made it news besides TMZ. Bullshit.

Pampita works it at the car wash

Ana Carolina Ardohain Dos Santosa aka Pampita, doin her version of ‘Car Wash’. It sucks. Terribly. But Argentine booty is not somethin you should miss, so enjoy!



The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

No nudity

I know I promised nudity but obviously I can’t do that. So just enjoy the eye candy for the day. As of the time of writing this intro, I have no interest in reporting the news. Maybe tomorrow. Google Keyra Agustina. She’s been crowned best web ass in the world or some silly shit. That is a perfect ass.

Trey Songz & Drake - Successful

Here is the future of R&B. The real future. Trey Songz. I like Chris Brown, I like Ne-Yo. But when I hear their music, I just wanna dance. When I hear Trey, there are some babies that will be produced by the end of the night. It’s like Chris and Ne help me get the chick home, then Trey seals the deal. No homo hahaha. Anyways, here is Trey and Drake’s new video for Successful.

I’m not a Drake fan in the slightest. Yeah he has potential but a lot of people never live up to their potential, so I’m not on the Drake bandwagon till he drops an album that is worth listening to. The video was eh…too dark for the message they were tryin to push if you follow me. Either way, good song. Cuz I just wanna be successful.

Three 6 Mafia feat. Webbie - Lil' Freak

In classic Three Six Mafia fashion, they have taken a song that was pretty hot, repackaged it, and made it a single for another album. SMH. I thought these boys were over that bootleggin shit. Anyways, here is Lil’ Freak off the new album “Laws Of Power” (which was ‘Ugh Ugh Ugh’ on “Hustle Till I Die”).

Damn, even without Crunchy Blacc the dancin is still on point in Memphis. North North!!!

Old man shuts up stranger's baby

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this old man’s picture. Does he not look cankerous? I mean homey looks like the old man that screams “get off my lawn or I’ll shoot you.” Is this the man Clint Eastwood modeled for Gran Turino? Someone find out the ethnicity of the mother, because logic tells me she wasn’t black or from the islands. I’m pretty sure he’d look like hell if that were the case. I don’t know what I’d do because I’m not a female and it’s only a female this kinda shit would happen to. Imagine if you hit a man’s child. Death. So no man is stupid enough to hit another man’s child…unless if you’re African and are livin in Africa (and in some cases, living in America). I remember when my uncle (dad’s brother) tried hittin us. We all looked at him like “What the fuck?” He didn’t really strike us, but my dad had a talkin with him. Crazy relatives.

Kim Kardashian megapost

Haven’t seen her around since the split from Reggie…and I’m lovin the blonde hair now. She DOES look better dark haired, but the blonde makes her Brasilian and you already know how I feel about those specimens. If Kim sees me walkin towards her, she better cross the street – owwwwwwwwwwww.