Too much time on my hands

Day 2 of havin TV and not really watchin it…I lied yesterday; I did watch part of the Oscars. I saw everything from Best Director on. I thought it was cool how they did Best Actress and Actors, with distinguished winners doing a blurb on the nominee. The ladies definitely did a better job than the guys. It actually looked like some of the actresses memorized most of what they were gonna say, so instead of readin from the prompter they actually looked like they meant it. I guess women are better actors…nah, just better at faking emotions. Did anyone see Salma at the awards? Not like I was lookin for her…One highlight is Ben Stiller’s impersonation of Joaquin Phoenix:

Stocks dip, badly

Now, I just wanna point out to my new readers that I’m not a Socialist, I just have Socialist tendencies. And those points of views usually come out when I read dumb shit like the Dow and S&P are at lows not seen since 97. The stock market is one of the few things that is controlled by the individual rather than a corporation. Stocks don’t increase in price due to the fact a CEO is tryin to boost his/her profits (not legally). Stocks go up when people have faith and invest their money, and go down when people start selling them off (for the most part). So that means the only reason the indexes are fallin is because people are getting scared and sellin off their stocks. Why? Beats me. Because of their capitalist mentality which is “I need to get MY money out of the market to save MY ass. Fuck what everyone else is doing.” When enough individuals think like that, you get the aforementioned scenario (oohhh, “aforementioned”. The Rant also prepares kids for SATs). What would be better is if everyone did their part and kept their faith in the economy and help strengthen it rather than weaken it. Maybe we are gonna be bought out by China and I missed the memo.

Pass The A1

50 needs to just give up rap and stick to makin silly videos. This one isn’t as funny as the other, but still gets at Officer Ricccckkkkkkkkkkkky. And the reason I haven’t really shown any of Rick Ross’ responses is because they mad weak. Callin 50 a “munn-key” and stuff, not really funny or note worthy. So step it up Officer Ricccckkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyy.

Cam'ron answers questions from Harlem

Cam’ron has an album coming out soon and I guess to properly hype himself up and get a good buzz going, he’s on the internet doin interviews and what not. Here is a segment called “Ask Cam”.
HAHAHA, not as comedic as 50 but I found it funny answering a question with a question that didn’t make much sense.

Killing with a car is better than killing with a gun?

Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with our justice system. Only in America can a man go to jail for vehicular homicide (“he had passed a car in a blind curve in 1994, killing a 79-year-old mother and her son”), get out and get a speedin ticket (“he received for driving 91 mph in a 65-mph zone”), and still have the capacity to kill 3 people: “Witnesses told the newspaper that several cars were waiting at a traffic light when Jason Skaggs, then 34, approached the intersection of Urbana and Moorefield roads. Skaggs crashed his blue Chevy Tahoe into a Buick Skylark at 98 mph (about 158 kph), went airborne and sandwiched Bian's Taurus between the Tahoe and a gold Chrysler.” Who is doin 100 into an intersection? Why does this man even have a car still? And he was sentenced for a maximum of 34 years in prison. Since when can you kill 5 people and not be put to death? This must be due to the state laws of bumpkin Ohio (I love you Ohio, but this is ridiculous). Was the muthafucka makin a music video? Filmin a movie? Who is doin a hundred in a Chevy Tahoe? I mean, it ain’t even like a Prius or somethin small and nimble (Mini woulda been a better example). This is a poor center of gravity, Iron Maiden barreling down the street by a person who has a TERRIBLE drivin record. It’s such a shame. And the reason this has been brought to light is because the mothers of the three students are Chinese (still livin in China) and have no money to repay their friends and creditors for the money they borrowed to send their children to school in America and for the funeral services. That really sucks. Because if they were American or had some kinda loot, they woulda got all the money they needed from the state of Ohio for this gross negligence. Sometimes I feel California is the same way, just hands out licenses in cereal boxes. These Koreans and Mexicans are gonna KILL me one day…no respect for the car, can’t figure out to go left or right, switches into your lane and slows down, ignore any rules of the roads, turning on red, skippin stop signs bastards. I need a helicopter!

Nadya Suleman's ex is just a looney

I’m pretty sure Nadya’s babies are white…this house nigga ain’t the damn father! Oh god. If ANYONE knows Maury Povich, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease tell him to do the testing for this couple. I haven’t watched Maury since my high school summer days (you know, when ain’t shit else on TV between the hours of noon and 3?) but I will skip work for it like it was the Inauguration of the President!

Mom sleeps on child

I got a couple questions: Who is tellin Lisa that it isn’t her fault? OF COURSE it’s her fault her baby is dead; the baby didn’t crawl underneath her and commit suicide. Also why is it that “thicker” women wanna get in bed with their babies? Wouldn’t that be like…dumb? I mean, let’s put it in a terribly ignorant perspective (but it’s my show so I can do that): If I sit on an ant, I’m not gonna feel it. Annnnnd I’ma leave it at that, lol. How big are the beds they are sleepin in? Don’t be tryin to sleep with your baby in a full or queen. Cali king only! That way you can roll for a mile before you get close to your child. I never thought it was a good idea to share a bed with a baby, that’s why they made cribs. However I’m pretty sure I’d never roll over a baby…I can’t turn in bed without waking up first. Blame it on havin bunk beds when I was little and bein on the top bunk…ouch.

Inmates escape in helicopter

Niggas been playin too many video games and watchin too much TV to actually attempt some shit like this. The helicopter pilot was found bound and gagged at the Athens airport from which the chopper was stolen. Who has friends that know how to fly a chopper? That must be the life of a criminal. Friends with special abilities and talents. If I ended up in jail I’d be ass’d out. I need new friends.

Republicans or the new United Nations?

If I said it once, I’ll say it again: White people just don’t get it. And it’s not just white people that continue to make the same mistakes. African American women still mess around with African American guys and then wonder why they are alone when the baby pops out, owwwwww. I took it there. But seriously, do the Republicans really think that a Punjab is the face of America? Are they just gonna keep throwin minority after minority into our faces to show the “new” demographic of the Republican base? Did they fail to see how it didn’t work with Sarah Palin and how it didn’t work with that new house nigger they put up on the pedestal? IT’S NOT THE PEOPLE, IT’S YOUR IDEALS MORONS! Who’s next? They already had a Mexican…hmm, a Chinese person perhaps? When they have a pro choice lesbian, then maybe I’ll start to think they are headin in the right direction. Until then, it’s the same shit different color.

Dating mishaps

Two people that do get it are Barbara Davilman and Liz Dubelman who have authored the book “What Was I Thinking: 58 Bad Boyfriend Stories” which basically speaks for itself. What’s refreshingly different is that it’s not a male bashing book. The authors acknowledge that the main reason why women end up dating men that aren’t compatible with them is because they tend to ignore the warning signs. I love quizzing people on their failed relationships and I can say that is the GLARING misstep that a lot of people make. When I ask “did you notice the warning signs and choose to ignore them?” more than often the answer is “yes.” Why do people do that? Why do people settle? It’s such an annoyin human characteristic. Don’t get me wrong, there are some times when you should bite the bullet and take what you can get but only when the situation is temporary. I want to drive an SLR McLaren, but I can’t do that right now due to financial reasons, so I would take a Nissan GT-R…which still is out of my monetary reach…so I’d prolly come down to a Nissan Maxima or a 3-Series coupe. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will I come down to a Kia or Hyundai (pre-2008) when I could sit in a Honda for the same price (and even then my circumstances better be dire…like my current vehicle is destroyed by a meteor and I need to drive to the hospital for surgery tomorrow…I prolly still take a cab or somethin). Either way, I’ll pull a Clooney before I marry someone just to be married and have kids. And just to be clear, I don't need someone to be perfect. I'm not lookin for all the right things in a person, I'm just avoiding all the wrong things.

Hilary Duff injects in the wrong spot

Hilary Duff knows it’s Black History Month and to celebrate got herself some black girl lips. Wouldn’t it have been cuter to adopt an African baby? Oh I forgot, celebrities aren’t doin that any more.

Jennifer Love Hewitt looks does "Breakfast at Tiffany's"

Jennifer Love Hewitt decided to spend her birthday playin dress up instead of playin “I need to find a man and kick out some babies because my clock is tickin”. She does look ight tho, still not foolin anyone with the all black. Who wears all black in LA? Even when people go to funerals they still don’t rock the black. It’s too hot for that shit.

Hayden might have some fashion sense

These are old Hayden pictures but this is how the girl should dress from now on. She ain’t got any tits, and that’s fine. Show off the legs, keep it classy.

AnnaLynne McCord got lucky

AnnaLynne McCord should THANK her sisters for breakin all the branches when they fell down the Ugly Tree, because it allowed Anna to land gracefully. Jeez that was mean…but look at them!

I-Witness

So I decided that "The Watchful Eye" was kinda corny, and I know "I-Witness" isn't much better, so bear with me as I think up a name for this segment.

Watch out Freida, that man has dishonorable intent in his eyes lol.

I love how this cheap ass couple decided to get their picture taken by posin behind Jessica Biel…damn recession.

Taraji P. Henson needs to whup the trick that made her dress

Taraji P. Henson because she’s came a LOOOOOOOOONG way since “Baby Boy” and “Hustle and Flow”. I checked out her wiki and she received a lot of nominations for Best Supporting Actress in the Benji Button movie…but only won when it was an African American establishment giving the awards…shady.

RIP and big ups to Heath Ledger, I knew you’d win.
The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

I need a vacation

I don’t know what I said or did last week to get so many hits, but let’s hope that this week is just as good…especially since startin Wednesday I’ll have a guest writer(s) subletting. I figure while I’m in Brasil findin a replacement for Hayek, I might as well keep ya’ll entertained. I got DirecTV installed yesterday, at 8am…mistake. Thank goodness I wasn’t hung over or anythin, I might have let the air outta the tires of MY CAR with all the noise the representative was makin. Didn’t watch the Oscars tho, I gotta figure out how to balance TV in my life now. Oscar pics will be on the Facebook Fan page, so check for that this week.

Facebook's future

Since the 5 year mark of Facebook, people have been wondering if the social network site is done. The main problem is they don’t have any real revenue coming in to keep them afloat. They have their “ads” which compared to what you see on MySpace is more like a little bubble with information. Facebook doesn’t really make money off their ads, or do they? I don’t see how, they are so small and off to the side that I don’t even notice them all like that. I guess when you have over 125 million users, just 20 million clicking could be enough to keep you going. I kinda felt sad for Facebook and was gonna do my part and start clickin on their ads…then I realized that the creator, Mark Zuckerberg, didn’t sell Facebook to Microsoft (or any other buyer) when he had the chance. A LOT (myself included) of people thought this was a huge mistake. With the short attention span of people, his best bet was to cash out early. But Mark is a smart guy, I mean he did graduate from Harvard and is one of the youngest self made billionaires. He must have some kinda plan right? The real problem lies with the users of Facebook. Mark can’t make any money off of them. He can’t sell their information, he can’t put huge ads in their faces, and he can’t do anything with them short of creating a membership fee…which really would put a damper on business. Maybe create a premium Facebook account…no ads, increased layout control, some of his billions of dollars. Mark is a better man than me handling all this shit; I would cashed my chips in and left you guys in the dust! Maybe that’s why ya’ll don’t click on the ads, you don’t want me to make money and quit…selfish bastards!

Pimpin Curly pimps

50 needs his own reality show…the man is retardedly funny!

11 year old kills father's preggers girlfriend

Wow. There is so many things wrong with this situation. The chick was only 26 and had 2 kids and was on her third? Dad doesn’t look like a young buck anymore…and he already has an 11 year old. The 4 year old found her mom then found someone to call the cops? Did she really tell the guy “her mother passed away”? That’s creepy that a 4 year old can so naturally talk about death. I woulda expected somethin along the lines of “mommy is hurt” or “mommy won’t get up”, not “my mom is deceased, call 911.” And the most obvious thing wrong with this situation: what’s an 11 year old doin murdering pregnant women? Sickkkkkkkkkkkk. They said he used a 20-gauge designed for children and that it was his gun. Shot the woman point blank range. In Penn, anyone above the age of 10 tried for murder is tried as an adult so if convicted he could spend his LIFE in jail. WOW. WOW. WOW.WOW. No Jr. High school, no high school, no college, no adult life, no retirement home. Nothing. The boy is fucked. FOREVER. When I first read the article, I was like he deserves it, hell—throw him in the chair. But after thinkin how long LIFE is…well, first we have to see how the state of Pennsylvania defines “life”. It could be like 50 years, which is still a fuckin long time to start at the age of 11 or 12. Forget doin drugs, if you really wanna throw your life away just murder someone before the age of 15.