Hayden for the last time (I hope)

I figured it out. Whenever Hayden has a movie comin out, they HIRE a stylist to dress her. That’s the only way to explain 3 days of Hayden goodness. “I Love You Beth Cooper” in theatres sooner than I’d like. The good news is once it does come out, we can go back to coverin more “talented” actresses.

Hayden Panettiere promotes some more

Oh my, Hayden is going for two days in a row of lookin hot. Hell, even the creepy dude in the car behind her has a big smile on his face. Terrible choice in shoes tho. Looks like they’d pair well with a dominatrix outfit. We know she’s not the queen of bust (and prolly won’t be till Heroes gets the ax) but I hate when she wears these cleavage bearing dresses. It’s like me always wearin those capris made for guys…what are they called again? I don’t have the calves of a mailman or a soccer player, so why draw attention to that area? Maybe I should consider calf implants…

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Hayden thinks she's grown and sexy

Not a big fan of Hayden Panettiere choices in style, but this dress looks good on her. You know what else would look good on her? A boob job. I know it’s mean, but I said it anyways. The dress does up her sex appeal greatly tho.

Hot girls get nerdy

I’m finally feelin a Hayden outfit. She has finally mastered the art of deception and is wearin a dress that gives the appearance of good cleavage. Her eye shadow is kinda creepy and makes her look alien-ish tho.

Also at the premier of Star Trek is Heidi Klum, who for a preggers looks pretty good.

Sophia Bush also came through…what’s with everyone rockin black?

Leighton Meester decides to freshen it up with a nice grey-ish blue (she looks like a very hot Audi A5…I’d rev her engine all day…yes bad joke, so what?) I think of all three of the ladies, her shoe game was the sickest.

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Hayden might have some fashion sense

These are old Hayden pictures but this is how the girl should dress from now on. She ain’t got any tits, and that’s fine. Show off the legs, keep it classy.

Milo couldn't save the cheerleader

Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia play Claire and Peter on the NBC show “Heroes”. In real life Hayden is 19 and Milo is like 31 or somethin. They’ve been datin for a min. I mean they went public when Hayden was 18 but guys don’t just become attracted to someone once they hit 18. Meaning, Milo is a pedophile. He’s been thinkin bout bumpin the nasty with Hayden since she was 17. The guy is a creeper in my book and they need to kill of his pedophile character. Anyways, the obvious age difference did them in as they were both at a different point in their lives and looked for different things. I hear Milo and R. Kelly are booking a tour together.

One has bumps on her lips, the other has them on her chest

I wish plastic surgery would go wrong. Not really, I don’t mind her flat chest. For some (sick, perverted) people, they like their girls to look like boys with makeup lol. No my beef with Hayden is her choice in clothes. It’s like someone has gotten into mommy’s closet and has yet to grown into the clothes. Sadly, I’d take the saggy tits behind her…wait. For heaven’s sake will someone buy her a dress that doesn’t draw attention to her flat chest? How bout some clothes with sleeves or that cover her shoulders? WHO THE FUCK DRESSES THIS CHILD? Paris, can you please loan her your bra because we know that you aren’t blessed in the chest either but you manage to keep us lookin there.

Nice pecs

I understand that some girls have big eyes and some have small eyes, but when you’re blind you need to dress accordingly. Hayden, what the fuck is this? This shit ain’t sexy. It’s nasty. Like two stubs on her chest. Yuck. Take a page outta Kate Hudson’s book on how to dress sexy with small eyes. Thanks. This just further confirms my suspicions that Milo is a child molester. If I'm gonna mess with a 19 year old (or 18) she has to be worth the jail time.

Gotta catch 'em all!!

Ugh, Napa. I couldn’t even be at the Marriot with the Raiders and front like I’m 3^rd string towel boy. Towel boys get pussy too…they just have to clean it up first, lmao. I wonder about myself sometimes, like why do I think like this? It can’t be healthy.

So, it’s time I addressed somethin that I’ve been holdin my tongue about for the longest time. It’s because I actually have friends that do this, and readin The Rant is always funny till it’s about you, lol. So if you take offense….fuck you, lol. Movin on. I don’t like when people treat Facebook like its MySpace. The first offense: topless photos. And I wouldn’t complain about this offense if it wasn’t for the fact that the only people on Facebook with their shirts off are guys. Girls don’t even make their day at the beach their profile pic. I’m tired of lookin at status updates and seein a dude with no shirt on. Nigga, this ain’t no bodybuilding site. This isn’t match.com or Adult Friend Finder! Even on matchmaking sites, the topless photo is usually the locked photo. What the fuck are doin makin it your profile pic? The worse is when these skinny niggas be doin it. Another offense: collecting friends. I understand this is a social networking site and that you are suppose to meet different people of different backgrounds. But tooooo many people click on the ‘add as friend’ link without knowing how to properly maintain contacts. Personally, I’d rather have friends only and use LinkedIn or MySpace to network. But let’s say you’re one of the types of people to use Facebook to “network”, then properly learn how to maintain your contacts. Meaning, you don’t contact someone only when you need somethin from them (which is actually better than most people who don’t speak to you again after you click ‘accept’). I am slowly but surely gettin rid of friends that think I’ma baseball card. Another offense: More applications than they know what to do with. Thank goodness that the new Facebook has changed the layout so that it looks cleaner, but I seriously didn’t know what Wall to write on when people had their Wall, Fun Wall, Super Wall, Advanced Wall, Super Fun Advanced Wall, etc. Pages got real ugly, real fast. I have other annoyances but I’ll limit it to these top three. Maybe I’ll post the others ones up as they become more bothersome. These boys took that topless Facebook shit to a whole new level of gayness.

I think we figured out why Hayden Panettiere is dating a child molester (not really, but I still think he’s a tad bit old). She has daddy issues (duh, shoulda seen this comin right?) It appears her pops was arrested for abusing his wife. According to police reports, he struck the women three times with an open hand. It was discovered later that he was watchin the trailer for Street Fighter IV and got excited. Lol, that nigga E. Honda’d her ass. But seriously, domestic violent isn’t a laughing matter. Neither is child molestation. So they should seek counseling, fast. Then hopefully I can get with her tight ass.

So I kinda ran outta things to rant about so I’ma talk about black celebrities. This past weekend was the Ozone Awards. For my Caucasian readers, the Ozone Awards isn’t an event where we recognize blacks for their contribution to saving the environment. No, it’s a place where niggas can act like niggas. Just like the Vibe awards, lol. Mike Jones (who? Exactly) got punched in the face by another nobody from Houston. Rick Ross, yea the cop, and his crew got into a fight with DJ Vlad and his crew.

It appears white people aren’t the only people that do some sick shit. Police have arrested the person responsible for the death of a woman at Lil’ Kim’s birthday party this past weekend, who was a club employee and targeted the woman because she was drunk. He promised her VIP access, but he instead took her to the roof where he tried to rape or rob her (cops aren’t sure) and when he failed, he killed her with a lead pipe in the Study. Sorry, I thought we were playin Clue. Seriously tho, that’s fucked up. Where were her girlfriends at? Isn’t that why ya’ll roll in packs?

This is what you look like when you are no longer a Nigga On the Run Eating, and just a nigga eating:









Yes, that is Capone-N-Noreaga
Representin MV, Martha’s Vineyard!




The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Now in HD...

Yay hump day…so glad this year is almost over, lol. Yea I’m getting ahead of myself. But so what, I can do anything I want on my blog. Still getting calls if I’m alive, lol, with the last one coming from my mom followed by my dad. Thanks guys, glad to know that you are still concerned for my safety….goodness.

Speakin of bad parenting….where the hell is Hayden Panettiere’s folks? Do they know their 18 year old daughter is dating her 31 year old Heroes co-star Milo Ventimiglia? I mean, this is old news to most of us, but there is a (mostly untrue) rumor that she gave him a striptease for his birthday which reminded me of my recent trip to the Philippines. The best part of my trip where we went to a strip club. It was weird, all the girls only had A cups and cleanly shaven….um. Wait. They were legal, I swear. I don’t read Filipino….lol. But anyways, Milo, find girls your age. You are handsome, no homo, and rich-ish and famous-ish. So leave Hayden for guys closer to her age group, like me! To think they took their relationship public right after she turned 18…meaning he was courting her when she was 17???? Sicko.

While we are on the dating and sex topic, I’d like to direct ya’ll to my sister site (well, they really aren’t my sister site, but I know the girls and they black, so maybe it’s my sistah site lol) Expressions of a Buppie. What the hell is a Buppie you might ask? I don’t know, but I don't like the sound of it. “Shut yo Buppie ass up”. “Whatcha lookin at Buppie?!?” “This Buppie tried to roll up on me the other day; I had to flash the nine on that Buppie muthafucka” See? Lol. Nah but seriously, they are some insightful women. The one post that caught my eye was about Cookies and how men are like the cookie monster and women are like Girl Scouts. Hilarious.

I can’t believe that it has taken me over 5 months to get my oxygen sensor for my car replaced. I swear there are no good mechanics in LA. And you’d think with the over 2 million cars on the road, that SOMEBODY would know how the fuck to work on cars. I've spent more money with these buppies than if I had just went to the dealership. And now, I'm forced to go to the dealership so I can put this all behind me.

Katherine Heigl, I don’t like that bitch. A) I think she got Isaiah Washington kicked off Grey’s Anatomy by being too vocal and playin the victim. Like she was a scared white woman working with a black gorilla. B) Then she gonna talk shit about the movie that put her talentless ass on the map. For her to call out Knocked Up as too sexist and making women look dumb was unnecessary. That’s like a girl stripping her way through college, and then she gets a degree and says all strip clubs should be shut down. C) She gonna decline her Emmy nomination because she felt the writers of the show didn’t fill out her role. D) On top of that she asked for a higher salary. A) Isaiah Washington may be black, but he ain’t no gorilla. I’ll show you King Kong if you get me fired up. B) You think Knocked Up is sexist and makes women look dumb? Ask Ray Romano if every married man is as helpless, spineless, and who can’t function without their wife type of man as he portrayed in his long running TV show? C) You want more character development? Start by doing less movies and focus on your TV career. D) Become a high caliber actress. The only good thing going for Kat is that she didn’t marry a more successful, more talented actor for a husband (I’m lookin at you Ms. Aniston, but when you done with John, holla at me lol)

The video that I was gonna put with this post has been removed from YouTube, but you can still see it on adultswim. (It's NSFW so you may wanna watch it at home or with headphones)

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!

Hey don't sue me: I got the pic of the Ice Princess from www.thehollywoodgossip.com