Birthday rant

This is gonna be a short one since A)It’s my bday and it’s like 3am and I’m super tired (but sober) and B) The cops are flying around my neighborhood again (but it’s serious this time, they have squad cars on every block for like 5 blocks). It’s probably my escort service within the city on some Britney Spears shit lol.

When models (you know, super hot girls) do interviews in magazines, do their publicist give them the material out of the same book? Models are always saying the same shit in interviews: they single; they will date anyone, just be you and be funny. BULLSHIT. While models may date anyone, he has to be anyone in the same tax bracket as her. He has to be anyone in an industry she currently works in (modeling) or aspires to be in (other forms of entertainment). They always say that they never get approached by guys. Most guys don’t approach girls because most girls don’t put it out there that they wanna be approached. They don’t look over at you, they don’t smile back, and they don’t even realize that you are there. Now, I don’t have this problem. Just last night I had to send Heidi (Klum) back home to her kids. I mean even she admitted that what attracted her to Seal wasn’t his face, but his big package (I guess he was wearing biker shorts when he strolled past her). Once she realized she could get a big package AND a pretty face….well, I’m not a man to kiss and tell lol.

Shout out to Mercedes-Benz for makin coupes that make it impossible for girls with skirts (or short dresses) on to exit the car without showing their panties. I thought maybe it was a trashy celebrity thing but yesterday my coworker reveled a little bit more about herself than I need to know lol. So guys, be a gentleman and hold open that car door for your lady (or any lady hoppin out a coupe lol)

So I’ve been playin around with the new Facebook and man is it different. And not different in a good way nor different in a bad way. Different in a "gotta adjust to it" kinda way. I don’t like how the news feed is broken apart into topics. You have the “Top Stories” like Facebook is on some CNN shit now. “Breaking news: You’re best friend Justin just tagged himself in 50 of his photos because the loser doesn’t have enough friends to tag him in their photos, so he tries to appear more popular than he is by tagging himself in his own photos, like you don’t already know what he looks like”. Then it has Status Updates which I am a fan of, because I like to see how other people’s creativity compares to mine. What I’m not a fan of is when people repost the same status message multiple times a day. Alright already, we know that you feel extra poetic because the dude you are fuckin (not even bf/gf, but just fuckin) is fuckin someone else. Boo hoo bitch, boo hoo. Stop bumpin up your status message like it’s fresh. Then they have Photos and Posted Items. Maybe I’m not as popular as I thought and maybe people don’t really check out my page like that…but for the love of God, don’t tell me to check out your “new” post when I already posted it 4 months ago.

Last thing I wanna pick on (pun intended), is people that pick they nose in the car. And I ain’t talkin bout the quick nose-swipe check (I do it on occasion), I’m talkin about diggin so far up they nose they suffer an aneurism (hemorrhaging (bleeding) of the brain). You would think they left themselves a note up there the way rummage through the nose. Lmao. AND it’s disgusting. Get your windows tainted before you do that…I ain't tryin to peek in your fishbowl and see you go on a scavenger hunt. At least pull over to an empty side street or something!!

No video, must-get-sleep

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!