T.I says goodbye

T.I. had a farewell concert on Sunday before he starts his 360+ day stint in the clink today. He’s finally going to jail, thank goodness. I feel like the T.I. drama has been long and drawn out to the point I was ready to serve his time for him just so that I wouldn’t have to hear the words “T.I.” and “jail” in the same sentence. Over the past year T.I. has been reachin out the community, tryin to get others to understand that crime isn’t the answer and all that other good PR stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate what T.I. has done for the youth and the outreach his programs provided, but enough is enough. Just go sit in the cell and stop with the fanfare. I’ll see ya in a year and a day. Keep your head up.

Don't put a mic in front of T.I.

Is this nigga rapping during his press conference? “I would like to thank all who have helped me throughout my journey/along my journey/including my attorneys” Whooooo, hot fire. What’s the next verse T.I.? “all of the foundations/and all of the organizations”. That’s a platinum single. Throw T-Pain on the hook and you’re all set! Call it “Thank you”.

8 bit Hip Hop Melody

All I know is that if this was the track list for Super Mario Brothers, I would have never gotten a Sega Genesis:

Remix Medley 1 - Tugboat

And for my non hip hop heads the track list is as follows:
Jay-Z — Dirt Off Your Shoulders
T.I — What You Know
Chamillionaire — Ridin’
Ludacris — What’s Ya Fantasy
Bonecrusher — Neva Scared
Kanye — Overnight Celebrity
Ludacris — Move Bitch
Lil’ Jon — Get Low
Kanye — Gold Digger

Grammy preformance - Swagger Like Us

Outstanding performance...

What the fuck was M.I.A. wearin? I mean to be that preggers but still hold it down at the Grammy’s (she’ll prolly never perform there again) is very impressive but damn. They couldn’t find her a cuter outfit? And excuse my ignorance but since when could you braid dreads? I’ve always been under the assumption that growing out dreads is a more “natural” process that basically takes your nappy hair and puts them in locks hence the term “dread locks”. And the only way to get rid of the locks is by cuttin them out. So how is it that Lil’ Wayne has the front part of his head braided if he grew out dreads? Is there some ultra perm method to “unlock” the hair? I guess if he has “micro” dreads, then you could braid it? I know you bastards don’t usually comment, but someone please shine some light on this for me. Then of course there is Kanye West. Why this muthafucka gonna cut his hair into a black man’s mullet? SMH at his continued foolishness. By the way, is anyone still listenin to the 808s album or have you shelved it yet? Oh oh oh, and did Jay-Z even brush his hair? T.I. is the only person that dressed like it was the FUCKING GRAMMYS but even he lost his shirt by the end of the performance. Niggas.

Blazing the trail

T.I. also did an interview which was more positive and definitely worth the read. I still think Paper Trail is a better album than King. I really didn’t like King outside of “What You Know About That”. But Paper Trail is full of great songs. Glad to know that T.I. and Shawty LO have settled their differences. See, Obama is already makin a difference in the lives of African Americans. Soon old white women will hold the elevator door open whenever they see a black man in an oversized hoodie coming. Eh, I wouldn’t even hold the elevator open for that nigga, lol. What? That’s just stupid.

Live from the Moon

I ain’t got shit to talk about, so let’s talk about black people. Lmao. I’m really fucked up. O I do have somethin. I’m not a racist person, kinda not, but I really find myself keepin away from black people. And I’ve noticed it’s not just me who strays from their people. My roommate hates goin to Asian parties, I have a friend who is Dominican but doesn’t like bein around Dominicans and her Filipino boyfriend doesn’t like Filipinos lol. Don’t get me wrong, all my best friends are black. But if you said there are two parties going on, one with blacks and one with whites…I’m more likely to go to the white party. Now if you said that the white party is a really a Klans rally, then I’d have to think about it lol. Seriously though, I treat black people like pitbulls, I only fuck with the ones I know. If I don’t know you and you lookin extra hungry and none of the current dogs in my pack can vouche for you?…I’m keepin my distance.

Speakin of pitbulls, news about Palin. I love how now when politicians back track and go against somethin they were originally for, they are “learning” from their mistakes…but when Kerry did it, he was a flip flopper. Here is a video of Palin “learning” from her mistakes as governor when she collected some of the highest earmarks in the COUNTRY. How can a state with nobody living in it, get so much money?


Kan-yezzy was arrested today at LAX for fighting with the paparazzi and breaking their camera. Apparently John Mayer was at the airport too and the tabloid makers were followin him instead of Kanye. Of course Kanye got jealous and screamed at them “Give a black man a chance! I just slapped an Indian bitch the other day after she slapped me! I’m tryin hard out here...” Mr. West was released on a 20K bond. Must be nice to just put up 20K on a drop like that. I couldn’t pay for a $10 bond.

T.I. is bein sued by his ex baby momma for more child support. Obviously she doesn’t believe that she is gettin “Whatever she likes” so she wants more money from the platinum artist. Do any rap artists marry their baby’s mother? Hell, do any black men marry their baby’s mother? Another reason to vote for Obama, he might start inspiring black men to get their shit together. Damn, I shouldn’t have said that. That might have cost us the election, cuz the last thing The Man wants to see is an empowered black man. That’s why when I file my taxes, I put that I’m a white man because the government would send me to G. Bay for the kinda money I’m makin lol. Who am I kiddin, bloggers don’t make shit. The government would prolly send me some food stamps once they’ve done laughing after filing my taxes.

Chalk this up in the Past Due category. Ocho Cinco? HAHAAHAHAHAHA, this is why I don’t fuck with black people. Why on earth would you LEGALLY change your name to the number of your jersey in Spanish? I ain’t even gonna mention that poor boy’s name. The dude is a sad replacement for the old Terrell Owens. He can’t touch T.O. in on field play, on field shenanigans, off field shit talkin, off field media press. But like all NFL bad boys he will grow up in a couple years (once his fingers feel a bit too light from the lack of rings) and be a prolific wide out. Seriously, I’m gonna change my last name to “HowCanSheSlap”

Hot on the heels of the ultra successful GTA IV, Rockstar games plans on bringing a little mayhem to the Nintendo DS. Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars will take place in Liberty City and focus on the Triads. I’m gonna assume that the main character will be Chinese, but wouldn’t be surprised if he was Jamaican! And the DS is a respectable system with dual screens, so I wonder what kinda innovative play they are going to incorporate.

More slappin:


The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

You can have whatever you like...at the 99cent store

Geez, so much to talk about. Politics, entertainment, the crazy world. How do I fit it all in one nice package? Guess I won’t. So for those of you that are fans, you’ll be rewarded (minus the videos). And for those that aren’t, they will burn in hell…lol not really, but not gettin all of The Rant is like burning in hell!

Ahhh got this damn song stuck in my head “Whatever You Like” by T.I. I think Paper Trail is gonna be as hot as King was. Look at these 6 singles that I can’t stop spinning “Swagger Like Us” (which better appear on the album but might not), “Live Your Life”, “What Up, What’s Happening”, “Like I Do”, “My Life, Your Entertainment”, and “Whatever You Like”. Damn catchy tunes. Plus I’m feelin his whole “Stop hatin on me, go about your life, make your money, stop sippin on the haterade” theme, which is mainly due to his beef with Shawty LO. I mean really L-O, you makin yo money on your corny ass raps (which I do bump in the car cuz I’m so Foolish lol) so who cares if T.I. from Bankhead or not. At least he wasn’t a correctional officer while “pushin” blow lol. Fuck you Ricky Ross!


Hot on the heels of Ellen and Portia gettin hitched, it looks like Sam and Linds are gonna tie the knot by the end of the year. Which I really don’t give two shits about, just annoys me that I won’t ever have the chance to motorboat Lind’s…hmmm can’t think of a funny adjective for her breasts. Bean bags? Melons? Fabric softeners? Lmao. I like that one, because it has nothin to do with breasts.

Peep the picture of Adriana Lima and tell me what’s wrong.



















If you eventually looked away from her fabric softeners, besides the fact that she has her hand on a leg that isn’t mine, the leg belongs to a guy who has the eyes of a South Park character lol. Look at them beady shits. Muthafucka needs mascara or somethin.

So according to the polls, it looks like Obama is losing. Looks like Palin was the boost McCain needed (along with the endless lies that come from that camp). All I have to say is this. If we elect another Republican, I will truly look down on Americans. I will act like the rest of the world and laugh in the face of every citizen. Then some “patriot” will say “well if you don’t like it, move!” and I will. I seriously can’t stand idiots and to live in a country full of them will drive me insane. Please prove me wrong, vote to keep The Rant in America, vote for Obama. If he sucks, vote him out in 4 years. But let’s not keep the same policy in for 12 years hoping that it will eventually fix itself because it won’t.

Before I touch this next topic, I want you to watch the video first:

Alright. So time to keep it real. You saw the squad picture. You already know what it is. Jeez, where is it? Haven’t used it in a while. Ah, here we go, found it. Brush off the dust and place it on the table. TIME TO PLAY THE RACE CARD!!! They probably were afraid that she was gonna “Bring It On” and make the other girls look shitty. She prolly was doin a little Beyonce booty pop and the white girls couldn’t so they said all she can is clap (sadly not with her ass cheeks) on the sideline. Bullshit. Talkin bout “what if her pacemaker fails while she at the bottom of the pyramid”. Nigga then you and her family sue the shit out of the pacemaker company! Who dies from a pacemaker goin out? Let alone on the bottom of a pyramid. Do the other girls plan on wearin magnetic skirts so that they can make them go up and down on their own? Seriously, get the fuck outta here SMU and put that hot cheerleader back where she needs to be…Otherwise send her to USC and we can practice her splits.

Leave it to the Mexican to actually toss his kid lmao:






The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Livin' in the hood

So make sure you tell your friends (all 2 of them) to tell a friend, because the more readers I have, the more people will click on a link and make me money. And how does this benefit you? Well all the proceeds go to the "Help The Tenant Move Into A Mansion Foundation". One the goal amount is reached, there will be a big yacht party and all of you will be invited!!! Not all of you will be allowed to come on the boat and for those that do make it, please expect to be robbed by pirates that I hired lol. So I noticed that I tend to focus my commentary on non-black celebrities even though I am African-AMerican. Well the reason being is blacks make it too easy/boring to rant on. When aren't we doin somethin dumb? Let me show you how easy it is when I just talk about blacks:

Wesley Snipes has released The Art of War 2 straight to DVD. Don’t pass Go, don’t collect $200. Lol, that joke is ironic because while I was referring to how this movie prolly didn’t get the green light from a lot of studios and won’t collect any money, that nigga really is goin to jail. Wes, Uncle Sam has nightmares about black and brown people makin money…why would you think he would allow you to STEAL money from him? Pay your taxes and Uncle Sam will stay under you bed like a good boogie monster.

T.I. is beefin with Shawty LO over who is from ATL and who isn’t (it’s really who is from Bankhead and who isn’t, but it’s the same shit to me). We nit picking like that now? A security guard was shot at Jermaine Dupri’s club this past weekend. Cam’ron sold Juelz’s contract to Def Jam. Max B was shot at during his performance but couldn’t see the shooter because he had his shades on. SMH. Either we beefin with words or we beefin with bullets. And that’s not really fun to rant about. And I ain’t really a sports person, so I don’t really talk about athletes. And we barely see black people on the big screen, so it’s not like the paparazzi are following their every move. So while black people are very entertaining, black celebrities aren’t (more irony for yo ass).

Wait this just in…Morgan Freeman was in a severe car accident in which his vehicle rolled over multiple times. He was listed in serious condition when he arrived at the hospital but seems to be in better spirits now. He has a broken hand, arm, and had shoulder damage. He had surgery to reconnect nerves and repair damage to his left arm and hand. Didn’t he just do a movie with Jack Nicolson? The Bucket List which was basically of things to do before they died? “Flip car over multiple times? Check” From what I heard, he was tryin to negotiate a bigger payment for the next Batman move by doin his own stunts in the movie, lol. But seriously, glad he’s ok. I can’t wait to see him play God again in another Almighty movie (I’m thinkin Kane Almighty, hm hm no takers? How bout Judas Almighty? Nah Kane has a better ring to it lol). Side note: peep the bling in Morgan’s ears. Dammmmn old man got his SHINE on lol.

Tomorrow I’ll resume rantin about white celebrities and leave the colored folk for the real news lol.

But seriously this is how easy we make it:

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Hey Don't Sue Me: The image of the jailbird was found at SoxFirst.com and the image of Morgan Freeman is property of Universal Pictures...GOOOD lol