Victoria's Secret Models should dance in underwear

Alessandra and Marisa are on some MTV show, dancing off…


All I know is I wanna insert my penis in Marisa’s buttock. Owwwwww.

Marisa Miller proves beauty is only skin deep

Marisa Miller and her husband because this goes to show you that anything is possible. As long as you have money. Come to think of it...her, Lima, and Ambrosio all have subpar lookin husband. Maybe I do have a shot with Ebanks (after she grows out her hair).

Marisa Miller almost got raped

Why does Ellen’s eyes remind you of a guy who hasn’t had sex in a year and Marisa Miller just offered him a one night stand? Ellen is HUNGRY!

Marisa Miller goes night night

Here is Marisa Miller rockin a piece from Victoria’s Secret new evening wear collection, the Night Gown. This isn’t your mother’s night gown, oh no, the only thing ‘moo-moo’ about this dress is those milky ti…Ahem, anyways.

What the hell is this bullshit? I’m gonna make boxer shorts for men that can be worn just like regular shorts and you will be able to wear them out, since underwear is the new outerwear. The only thing worse than her choice of dress is her choice of husband. Marisa strikes me as the jock type so I figured she was married to an NFL player. WHO THE HELL IS THIS COUNTRY EMO LOOKIN ASS DUDE? Lammmmme. So lame I had to check her wiki to see if she was married:

“She married Jim Miller, a Los Angeles surfing contest promoter and lifeguard from California in 2000, and separated from him in 2002. They divorced soon after. She married Hollywood producer Griffin Guess on April 15, 2006”

Wow, losers. Never woulda guessed it. They must have a great sense of humor. Keeps hope alive for guys like me…just gotta move out the basement.

Marisa Miller spreads it

If you like Marisa Miller and you like motorcycles, then I have found you some new wallpaper. You’re welcome.

Marisa Miller - sans makeup

Marisa Miller because even supermodels have to check their pits every once in a while. And for some reason she doesn’t appear too boyish…maybe it’s the lack of makeup?

Marisa is stylish when sweaty

Here are pics of Man-risa Miller, showin us how to keep a supermodel in shape. I really don’t care, what I do like is her workout outfit. I’m sick of goin to the gym and seein girls rock t-shirts and shit. This is how you prolly burn those calories and look good doin it. Lycra is also a good call, except when your butt is nonexistent…then it just looks like shit.

Eva Mendes is AskMen's #1 chick

I used to be an AskMen.com reader way back when they first came on the internet. They had great insightful articles and improved my quality of life and the way I view the world. Then they started the Top 99 Women list which I thought was the best list ever because it wasn’t based on who had a movie out or who did an interview with them. It wasn’t politics, it was all beauty. Then AskMen got big, changed their site makin it harder to navigate, watered down their articles, and just became a waste of time. But the straw that broke my back was when they named Katherine Heigl #1, even when most of the fans rated her lower. Katherine, if you don’t already know, ain’t shit to me. She’s a loud mouth bitch. End of story. But I didn’t let my personal dislike for her bother me when rating her. I was going solely on looks. And if AskMen thought that she looked better than Ambrosio, Beckinsale, Alba (she was lookin right in 2007), hell even better than Aniston, I couldn’t fuck with the site anymore. And I haven’t. Now we have the new list. This year’s number one? Eva Mendes. Eh…ok. I’ll live with that. Though I think her peak was right before she did Ghost Rider 2 years ago. The rest of the top 5 in sequential order: Megan Fox (over make up’d all the time, not even my top 10. Hoe sit down), Marisa Miller (of all the SI and VS models, the one that looks most like a boy?), Keeley Hazell (who is cute, but her time was about 3 years ago, give me Lucy Pinder), and Anne Hathaway (eh, I like my pale chicks to be red heads and she inconsistent). In order to not make it a beauty pageant, AskMen has incorporated little blurbs about what each girl has done in the past year whether it be humanitarian efforts or movements in their careers. Which I guess makes the list more respectable but at the end of the day, I still can’t fuck with it. Maybe you’ll get it right next year guys. Other notes: wifey didn’t make the list…she did have a behind the scenes year, so I expect to see her on next year’s list. Tina Fey #97, good job. Halle Berry #13. Jolie was #42. Heigl is at #81…who goes from #1 to #81? Obviously AskMen realized their error from last year.

Marisa and Selita frolic in the water

I know you must be sick of me postin up pics of Marisa Miller in a bikini but this time I have co-worker Selita Ebanks too!!! That has to be good for somethin right? I don’t understand how Nick Cannon does it. Christina Milian, Selita, and now married to Mariah? Maybe Nick Cannon is hilarious…

Marisa Miller's bikini brings joy to the world

Here are some pics of Marisa Miller in a bikini. I only post these because they are candid shots, so it’s more natural, and you can see the nip slip here. Enjoy.

Marisa is swanky

Did Marisa Miller steal Beyonce’s pose? I think Beyonce looks better doin it, because Beyonce actually has hips and a cute face. Some may argue with me, but Marisa face is too boyish for me. Seriously, give her a buzz cut and she’d be like that chick from Boys Don’t Cry.

Nylon fetish

Not really a big fan of Marisa Miller. Sure she has big tits, but her chiseled face is a bit too much for me. What I do like about this photo shoot is the stockings. Girls need to start understandin the underlyin power of proper stockings with an outfit, especially with winter upon us. Girls, take note.

Angels on Earth

No better way to start the weekend than with video from the VS fashion show, but loading 5 videos would eat all the resources on your browser makin it impossible to switch to another screen when the boss is coming. Instead there is no better way to start the weekend than with links to video from the VS fashion show, so enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LInBYvKjQ_k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKuQwOYW-eg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6nElTrJHJQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sk0JvGQc24
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsiZCBYuQ40

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

2009 SI Calendar

Sports Illustrated are takin their number one dame and giving her a calendar! Me, I’m not too much into Marisa Miller. Her tits are nice, but her face is boyish and her ass is nonexistent (now there are some pics where it’s nice and cute, and there are some pics where it’s flat as an ironing board, so to me that means nonexistent). If you wanna buy it, get it from Amazon. Here are some pics, more at the site here.