Facebook promotes incest

File this under crazy things white people do. I mean their name isn’t even that common. It isn’t a Smith or Johnson. They are prolly related and don’t even know…or maybe they do know it. Either way, I don’t think I could call out my name in bed…that is wayyyyy too narcissistic...even for a Leo like me.

Wedding Bells and baby shower for Khlamar (Khole and Lamar)

So Khloe Kardashian is preggers. That’s the only logical reason that her and Lamar Odom would be getting married on Sunday after dating for just a month. I mean seriously, what is goin on here? Is she tryin to increase ratings for her show or somethin? I don’t get people sometimes. This is a country with a 51% divorce rate. When are people gonna realize that marriage isn’t just a piece of paper that you can pour white-out over when you’ve realized you made a mistake? While I do wish the best to them, I’m not gonna lie and say their actions don’t disgust me.

Christina Milian makes her Dream come true

Congrats to The Dream and Christina Milian gettin hitched this past weekend in Vegas. Damn it seems like Vegas was the place to be for Labor Day weekend. Never again will I make that mistake of not being there.

Ali Larter is off the market

Another big booty white girl has bit the dust. Ali Larter (of Heroes fame) has married her long time boyfriend this past weekend. I hope that boy knows what to do with all that junk in the trunk. There are some upskirt pics of her floatin around online…but I don’t plan on postin em. Sorry.

Now we wait for Iran's first porn star

Speakin of changing views, it appears that the ‘marriage crisis’ in Iran is a big deal. Once again, if you want details then click here, I’m just here to give the most opinion in the world – mine. But basically what’s going on is a shift in thought process. Just like in America less than 50 years ago, it was the norm for a woman to get married early because she had nothing better to do than to raise kids and keep the home. Then our society shifted (thanks a lot Germany) and we started seein women in the work place. Eventually women went crazy and decided they didn’t need men in their lives and getting married wasn’t a priority (then when they hit 50 and were lonely they realized their mistake lol). Well the same is happening in Iran where more women are going to college and pursuing careers, while the thought of marriage is getting placed on the back burner. This doesn’t sit well with the current government because they know just because the young adults aren’t getting married doesn’t mean they aren’t swapping hot, sticky, sweet, sex fluids. And just like in Palin’s case, their old school views are becoming outdated and they may lose their power to some “Obama”-esque muthafucka who may turn their country upside down. This is why I don’t think it’s necessary for the U.S. to go back and forth with Iran and meddle in their affairs. Any world power that wants to be a true world power eventually reaches this point in development. And not all countries mature at the same rate. Believe it or not, but N. Korea will eventually become a fun place to visit. Kim won’t live forever and his people won’t appreciate the lack of freedom. The U.S. needs to make some popcorn and enjoy the show instead of tryin to put on an Oscar worthy performance.

Love is ON the air

Now that’s just a beautiful thing. My man was cool and rehearsed, didn’t stumble over his lines…makes me wonder if they put it on the teleprompter for him lmao. I really like how he kept the box closed till she said ‘yes’. That is a smart move, because if she’s a gold digger then she might have said ‘yes…I want that huge expensive rock on my finger.’ But he made sure she was in love with him and not his wallets. Damn, right on national TV…that’s bigggg pimpin.

Everyone's gettin hyphy

One of my boys is gettin married, popped the question over Valentine’s Day weekend…unromantic. And his girl has changed her Facebook status on whether she should hyphenate her last name with his or just take his last name. What are women smokin these days? And I wouldn’t have taken it so serious if it wasn’t for one of the comments her friend made: “Girl it's the new age... You have to keep "some" of yourself... My name is too important...I don't think I could let that go, even in marriage!” That girl doesn’t have to worry about letting go of her last name because she won’t be gettin married with that attitude. You know what kind of women keep their last name after marriage? Whores and women in power. Whores to protect their family and women in power because most likely they obtained that power before gettin married. And while the latter is still unacceptable to me, I can swallow the pill a little easier. If my wife is pullin in 7 figures, she can change our last name to ‘Jackass’ for all I care. Just keep the rum and cokes comin as I lay out by the pool with the cabana girl. Seriously tho, is that the mentality women are takin these days? Do you really think you have to keep some of yourself when you enter a marriage? Isn’t a marriage supposed to take two people and make them one? Since when is it one and a half? If a chick wants to marry me but still do her thing, that’s fine. I don’t want a clingy wife. But being married to me with a separate mind state is a no go. The last thing I want is for her to keep the part of herself that thinks “if I make this money, I can spend it anyway I want.” Because if she starts bringing home more shoes than groceries, she will find herself floatin in a river. I don’t believe in divorce. Till DEATH do us part bitch. DEATH.

Another pimp bites the dust

Congrats to David Letterman, finally getting married to Regina Lasko his girlfriend of 23 years. That’s pimpin. You kept a chick by your side for 23 years and never caved into marriage? I do envy the man. Had a kid (Harry) too? I have a good feelin bout this one.

Bruce Willis finds love

Congrats to Bruce Willis, getting married again to Emma Hemming. Bruce is 54 and Emma is 30. Looks like he took some tips from his ex-wife on findin love in pretty young things. Hopefully second time is a charm.

Secret wedding for Chris and Ri?

And in more gossip, Chris Beez and Ri have eloped at Diddy’s Star Island Mansion…Um call it what you like, but I can see this happening if it hasn’t already. Reports are already comin in that Ri won’t press charges…and Chris has been seen sneakin into her apartment. When will someone drop the ball and tell us what really went down that night?

Congrats to Gisele and Tommy boy

Looks like Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady have tied the knot. Last Friday they made their love for each other official. First Lima, now Bundchen? Last year Ambrosio spit out a baby. My promise to America is while I’m in Brasil these next two weeks I will scout out some new talent to bring back to the States. I will bring my camera and microphone. And by microphone I mean penis.

Adriana Lima is off the market

Now I know you give a rat’s ass, cuz I do! What kinda bullshit is this? I mean, I didn’t think that it would happen so soon. Adriana AND Salma? What is the world comin to? Next Christina Milian? I mean seriously. But Lima confirmed the marriage rumors on her MySpace page and I pray someone hacked her account. I mean look at the guy…with those South Park eyes. So annoyin. I need money, because LOOKS DON’T MATTER WHEN YOU’RE RICH! The link to her MySpace page ain’t workin so I guess I have to wait for People to confirm. The last hottest virgin alive is taken...

Tom Brady is still gettin a ring this year

And in other wedding bell news, Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen are gettin married. Tom proposed this past weekend and Gissy said yea. Good for them. Now Tom’s baby will have a step mom and two Christmases. What’s good with Bridget Moynahan? She fell off the scene since havin the baby. She musta thought that she would with Tom forever and is prolly regrettin all of it. She is (was, haven’t seen her in a bit) hot, so I wouldn’t think she would have trouble bouncin back. Bridget, holla at the Rant.

Could Chris Brown and Rihanna be gettin married?

Ok, so I was gonna ignore this rumor because to me it’s stupid. Think about it. They have been datin for mad long but yet consistently deny it. Even goin as far as sayin they were as close as brother and sister. So why on earth would Rihanna decide to flash a wedding ring if she was truly engaged? They would do the Jay and B thing and keep it on the low till they actually got papers signed. But I’ve seen it on 3 websites and I didn’t want you thinkin I was holdin out information. I just don’t believe the hype.

Till Recession do us part

That’s crazy, too broke to be happy in a marriage and too broke to get divorced. I’d like to break off Kiran Chetry tho, owww.

From make ups to break ups

So People Magazine says that Madonna’s marriage was over before they filed for divorce. DUH. That they hit a rough patch when Madonna kidnapped that boy from Africa. DUH. And that Guy never really embraced Kabbalah. DUH. Moral of the story? When tabloids report that something is going wrong, they are usually right. I've seen this comin for like 4 years now.

David Duchvony’s tennis coach has sparked rumors of their affair. When recently asked about it, she didn’t really deny it and even IMPLIED that somethin was going on. What a trifling hoe. Don’t she know that this could hurt his wallets during the divorce trial? Thin wallets mean no tennis lessons. No tennis lessons means…well you see where I’m going with this.

In (temporarily) happy news, Nelly Furtado has come clean about her marriage over the summer to a sound engineer. Um, good for her? I would like to believe that they will be together forever, but I think the Yankees have a better shot of makin it to the World Series this week than Nelly does stayin married forever lol.