2010 VMAs...sucked

So i had a personal request to come back...and the reason I'm doin this isn't because I owe that one person a favor or that they have nude pictures of me with a donkey and some whipped cream. No. I'm postin because I kinda miss it. The world is a crazy enough place to keep me employed and ranting till my grandkids take over the family business. Anyways, on to the 2010 MTV VMAs. I honestly believe that MTV is doing to the world what BET did to black people. The education system is failing and I think it falls on the shoulders of the media to properly educate the masses...but that's another rant.

The program was over two hours which gives me more than enough ammo to fire off for two days but I'ma try to keep this tight like Kim Kardashian's vagina. Now off the bat you think my analogy failed, but I digress. The bitch loves to keep herself together (so to speak) so I'm prettttty sure she's had that vagina rejuvenation surgery. It's the Kim K way!!! And I for one am happy for it, because I like it tight. Not snug. Tight. Like "hold on hold on, don't move I might bust" tight. The things I would do to Kim Kardashian would be deemed illegal after the video leaked. The Supreme Court would make up a new law just to prevent it from happening to another woman. And if you haven't seen her Playboy pics, you can check them here (NSFW).

First on my shit list is the people on the guest list. LADY GAGA!!! Of course I have to talk about her talented ass. And what an ass she has for a white girl. Oh and speakin of white girls with asses (or lack thereof) Chelsea Handler's bottom is very disappointing considerin all the attention it gets from anyone black on her show. Maybe she shoulda invested in Booty Pop for the VMAs. But back to Gaga. I don't like her. Her music is catchy. It's pop. It's manufactured. We've all seen Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta on Boiling Points and the YouTube videos of her pre fame performances. So it really annoys me when she turns into Gaga and talks about keepin it real and expressin yourself. Lady Gaga is a persona. Just like The Tenant. Just like Diddy. Yes, I put my name right in-between to great entertainers because I am a great entertainer...the world just doesn't know it yet. And to be honest, The Tenant isn't too far off from the real me. Just as crazy but a bit more impolite when blogging. Anyways, congrats to Gaga but stick to makin music not makin statements...your fashion sense and music is statement enough. Is it just me or were there no black presenters this year or did I fast forward past them all? Any black presenter had a white chaperone with them. Chelsea is hilarious on her show, but was clearly nervous being the first woman to host the VMAs in like 16 years or so. Or maybe she was worried about here sex tape being leaked soooon. Check out stills here (NSFW) Eh, maybe she'll get another shot hostin somethin else. If Sofia Vergara can fix her English just slightly, they should let her host. The things I would do to Kim K, I would practice with Sofia first. Ay mami!!! This year's VMAs is the first time I've heard Justin Bieber sing, dance, or ANYTHING! I look at him and a math equation pops in my head. Justin Timberlake - Timbaland = Justin Bieber. I will admit I can see his appeal - little Canadian boy swag. But at the end of the day I'm not downloadin his music off iTunes or iStealTunes. For the most part the people at the VMAs were very muted (thanks a lot Kanye) and nothin memorable happened. Maybe next year they'll shock people again. And when I say "they" I mean MTV because honestly nothin happens without their permission. White people love control.

Will.I.Am is more colorful inside than out

As far as performances go, I think the best might have to be...DJ Deadmau5. The LED Mickey Mouse head was awesome and he's a pretty good DJ. Click on his name to check his website. I don't do house/trance/dance/techo etc. but I could see myself poppin a Skittle at one of his parties. Second place can go to Kim Kardashian for pretending she likes Justin Bieber when she really wants me. And third place can go to Em and Rihanna. B.o.B.'s performance was cut short, Kanye's new song was going for first place till the autotune came out, nobody cares about Taylor Swift anymore, and Usher looked like he needed a walker after his performance. Honestly, I was like is Usher gonna dance or not? He broke it down a bit, but not the Usher we all remember. Guess the little baby is keepin him up at night, now that he's a single father (I told him not to marry that bitch and here's proof). The "What The Fuck" moment has resulted in a tie between Will.I.Am's matte finish makeup and Swizz Beats pretending to play the piano during Drake's performance. Will.I.Am look like a fuckin Kaws doll. It's wasn't bad compared to what other artist do (*cough*Gaga*cough*) but it was like...what the fuck? And Swizzy needs to stop. Oh you bangin a world renown piano player (Alicia Keys for those of you not in the know) so you think you can bang on a piano? WRONG!!! Sit your funny lookin ass down. Preferably a bench without a piano in front of it. Mary J. did kill it, but that's like sayin the NYPD likes to target blacks. DUHHHHH!!!

So that's it. That's my take on this year's VMAs. I wish the cast of Jersey Shore drowned in the jacuzzi but one can only wish. I'ma leave ya with the last performance, Kanye's "Runaway" which is also a film he directed...not anticipating that. Don't get me wrong, Kanye is a visionary for sure but ummm we know what happens when he tries to put his vision to film. Shout out to DJ HeaVyneSS for providing the video. I know the video is really from MTV but DJ HeaVyneSS is the best DJ on the east coast that hasn't gone global yet...so fuck off and go to his site.

2010 MTV Video Music Awards - More VMA Video

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Rihanna needs to apologize

See ladies? Even Rihanna has those disgusting cottage cheese thighs. Get this woman a Stair Master pronto!!! What’s goin on with the side of her head? Her whole style as of late has been more ‘miss’ on the ‘Hit-or-Miss-O’Meter’. She has a new album comin out and she doesn’t even put in the effort to be jerkable? I’m pretty sure Chris Brown will smash her again…but this time with record sales.

Rihanna on her Mr. Roger's game

Before we jump to the Ri-Ri pics, I got into a debate, which turned out to be just an argument at the end, with someone about Chris Brown’s career. They had just finished watchin Rihanna’s interview and felt that CB was done for. They said CB wouldn’t rebound and he would fade away. I disagreed, showin the person that celebrities bounce back all the time and society tends to forgive and forget when it doesn’t directly involve them. I didn’t realize some people were just sooo emotional…anyways everyone agreed with my point and disagreed with the emo I was talkin to. But how do ya’ll feel? Do you think CB is done deaded or can the 19 year old singer still bounce back and become a world superstar like he once was (and in my opinion, still is)? Anyways, here is Rihanna lookin terrible with that golden hair. What is she? A Greek goddess? Halloween was two weeks ago boo boo – wash that shit out.

Chris Brown and Rihanna are the '09 Ike and Tina.

Chris Bezzy was sentenced today. He has to do some bullshit community service. I don’t understand how you can be on felony probation and not have served anytime. If you’re a felon, you gotta do time right? How you get FELONY charges and just be walkin the streets? Well the real shocker (even though it’s not really a shocker) is that this isn’t the first time Brown has fought with Rihanna. Two other unreported instances have came to light (I guess Ri Ri started snitching after the February incident). One time in Europe, Rihanna had slapped Chris and he shoved her into a wall. Another time they were arguin in a rented Land Rover in Barbados and he pulled the car over and got out. He ended up breakin the front door, and smashing the passenger window. It’s funny how we put celebrities on a pedestal above regular people when at the end they aren’t any smarter than Joe the Plumber. That’s some real loser type shit of Rihanna to be with a guy that is violent when angry. She has all the money and looks (if you can get past her 5-head which she has stylishly covered with her hair cuts) but still hangs out with someone like Chris Brown. It makes no sense to me whatsoever. Tons of guys would treat her properly. Maybe it’s her daddy’s fault. He didn’t hug her enough as a child. I mean, it’s Chris Brown step daddy’s fault he’s abusive since his step dad beat up his moms. I hate to sound like I’m better than anyone or I’m perfect but I never understood why I live this mediocre life and idiots run around rich and shit. Maybe I should play the idiot and get some of this money.

Jay-Z feat. Kanye West, Rihanna - Run This Town

Jay’s new video for Run This Town.


Wow, pretty impressive. I’m glad that had a budget and had a vision which was executed well with the great scenery and costumes. Hmmm, Rihanna. Still not anticipating the Blueprint 3 tho…

Rihanna pokes out too!!!

Dammmmn son, Rihanna got a donk too? I don’t think I’ve ever caught her from the back. Impressive for a skinny girl.

Rihanna lesbian countdown

Um, Rihanna...I don’t know what you’re doing but it’s causing you to fall from my radar. Please stop and go back to the emo/punk/hipster hotness you were. If you do decide to play for the other team, at least choose a cute chick. Don't pull a Lohan and bang a dude that looks like a chick. Thanks.

Rihanna's cut isn't the bizzness

Rihanna finally did it. She took her short do, and it made it look like poo. Actually poo isn’t a strong enough word for me. Rihanna’s hairstyle looks like SHIT!!! Brown, warm, and stinky. Her outfit is cute tho. But damn those stupid glasses on that stupid head with that stupid hair.

Rihanna still covers her breasts

Rihanna out and about. Got the shaved side of her head look goin on. Looks pretty good. I think Rihanna could go Amber Rose and still be hot. That’s kinda crazy but always the truth.

More boobs from Rihanna

Here is Rihanna at some party over the weekend (I think at Tao), lookin pretty pasty…I mean, tasty. I mean what gives hun? We already seen all your stuff…if you need a reminder, I suggest you visit this post. I think once nude pics of you have been released, you need to just up the sexuality and not give a fuck. No bras, no panties. No sense in being bashful all of the sudden. Is it just me or is that a booger in her left nostril? Ewwwwww.

Rihanna is the best I've ever had...

Here is Rihanna goin to some restaurant. Since it’s not my kitchen, I personally don’t care. Oh well, enjoy the day!

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Rihanna out and about

Rihanna once again STYLIN HARD on them hoes. How does she manage to stay lookin so fresh? I don’t know. What I do know is her and CB are talkin again. Word is they’ve been spendin a lot of time on the phone. I told you she liked it rough…and ain’t nobody can smack that ass like Big Daddy Chris. Wow that sounded homo…let me go back to talkin bout her outfit instead LOL. Killer shoes.

Chris Brown accepts plea deal

Kudos to Chris Brown acceptin responsibility. I know people out there (the people outside of the industry) want to see Chris burn at a stake. But take this into consideration: Rihanna never pressed charges…hell, she wasn’t even the one that called 911 – a resident in an apartment that heard her cries did. When everyone close to Chris and Ri were asked for comments, they all said a mistake was made, respect their privacy, and not one person condemned Chris. Even Rihanna’s father didn’t spas out on the boy. So either everyone is ULTRA FORGIVING or there is more to the story than what was reported. Either way, his sentencing seems to be on par with what’s expected from a celebrity…no jail time. And I kinda realized why. Jail is supposed to be a rehabilitation center, a place to help criminals reflect on their actions. It’s also a place to help keep people safe by removin the threat from society. Chris Brown isn’t really a threat to anyone. He’s been apologetic from the jump and there is a restraining order of 50 yards so that they could still attend the Super Bowl (just kiddin). After the sentencing on August 5th, Chris will issue a statement and all this nonsense will be behind us. I still think Rihanna should speak out against the abuse tho…it just seems like the grown woman thing to do.

I'd let Rihanna beat my chest

Here is Rihanna oozin all types of sexiness. I told you I don’t even like the short hair look but she rocks it nicely. I’m also feelin her dress. Who woulda thought at an angry primate would make for a hot dress? If people are willin to rock this, I know I can come up with some designs of my own.

Chris Brown isn't over RiRi just yet

Someone explain this fuckery to me.

No, that’s not Rihanna. It’s Teyana Taylor. CB’s new friend. Here look at this right quick.

PURE FUCKERY! Fuck you Chris Brown. And fuck you Teyana. It’s cool if you’re a nobody and you look like a celebrity because then you can use it to get laid. But when you look like your friend’s ex-girlfriend (I’m pretty sure they are just friends, because she’s too ugly for CB to fuck with)…this isn’t even about physical looks but more style which makes this crime worse. Teyana prolly looks heinous without the glasses. But the hairstyle too? She really should kill herself. That’s so damn tacky. Rihanna should one up her by releasin that sex tape. What does that have to do with anythin? I don’t know…I just wanna see Rihanna gettin plowed.

Rihanna doesn't go full retard

Here is Rihanna at the Lake Show game 2 lookin mighty tasty. I’m feelin that bird on her chest, reminds me of the Dip Set eagle. Sigh, when is Summer Jam happening? I need a Dip Set reunion to make my summer HOT! Anyways, Rihanna is really stylin on them. I can’t think of a single person who pulls off the hipster look as good as she does. I think it’s because she doesn’t go full hipster (you should never go full anythin, it makes you look retarded…and no one should ever go full retard) she still maintains a balance of beauty. Even her hair cut makes me erect.

Kanye West - Paranoid

Kanye [West] has released a video for Paranoid featuring Rihanna. Have a look see:

I think the video is stupid. Makes no sense. Ri Ri looks like she pissed and is about to drive over to CB’s house to whup his ass for releasin those pics. At least she wasn’t on no Cassie shit (who had her whole “twitter” out for everyone to see…I didn’t post those pics because I try to keep it rated R here). I’m pretty sure Kanye is over his 808 album. The video for Amazing sucked. This video sucks. You wanna know how ‘over’ Kanye is with this album? He’s making videos for songs from his FIRST ALBUM!!!

Rihanna gots a new boo

Time for some speculation. It appears that Rihanna has been seen sneakin kiss with a new boy. Another light skinned musician has captured her attention (can’t the dark skinned brothers get a chance?). Canadian rapper Aubrey "Drake" Graham and Rihanna were seen in a club sneakin kisses. I’m pretty sure the nude pics is prolly what pushed her into Drake’s arms. I mean first she gets her ass beat, then nude pics of her get released. I bet it was all CB’s doin. I don’t know how it would help his case. Maybe he’s tryin to discredit her and make her look like a hoe. Hmmm then the defense could say that he beat her ass because she was sleepin around and it was done in the heat of passion? Sounds like a good defense to me…as long as the sex tape comes out too!

Pass The A1

Rihanna has did the unthinkable and released a song with Lady GaGa…I didn’t even know GaGa did music. I thought she just showed up to places wearin the most hideous clothin. Anyways, some are sayin this is a diss track to Chris Brown…I think she’s just bein an R&B singer. You be the judge.

I'ma real BOSS!

Last week was a good week for me, with not one but two sets of leaked private photos. You can see the Cassie ones here and the Rihanna ones here. Both have pierced nipples, but I’m pretty sure Rihanna is extra freaky…yum. It will be hard to top last week or is it? By the time you read this (west coast readers) I should be on my way to Miami…it’s a hard life I live.