Lord didn't have Mercy

It looks like the battle in Heaven for the soul of Mercy James has been lost to Madonna. The anti-Christ known as Madonna has won her appeal for the adoption of her second child from Malawi. Ugh, I’m not a fan of that lady in the least bit. She seems too fake and conniving. I wouldn’t be surprised if she blackmailed someone into gettin this adoption. She already has like 4 kids she has to take care of…oh correction. Her nannies already have like 4 kids they have to take care of while Madge is on tour and what not. Hell, where the hell has David been? Does Madonna even take him out anymore? Last time I saw the tot, GUY was takin care of him. Oh well. I guess bein with Madonna is better than bein in an orphanage right? Hell, I’d even live with Madonna right now.

Madonna gets bucked

This has been an excellent month for Madonna haters, such as myself. First she gets denied the adoption of the Malawian girl and now reports come in that her horse threw her off and she suffered minor injuries. But when you’re built like Madonna, you’d need to get throw off a plane before you are seriously injured. Anyways, it appears she was riding and some photographers hopped out the bushes and turned their swag on…eh, more like started the horse and it threw Madonna off. I never thought I would appreciate the paps for their work. Wow.

Madonna needs to be sealed away in an animal

I didn’t plan on talkin bout Madonna ever again because the bitch is pure evil and I don’t need that kinda juju on my site. Well the evil bitch is back at it again. First, she is stealin another Malawian to be a sibling for David. 3-year old Mercy supposedly has no mother or father…but I give it 2 months before someone come forth and says the orphanage took their child without permission. Anyways, the adoption agency is not big on sending kids to broken homes, and because of that Madonna has dumped her Brazilian boy toy Jesus Luz. Did the agency not follow the messy divorce between her and Guy? Did they not read the list of demands she has for Guy while the kids are in his care? Is everyone afraid of Madonna? I wish she would talk to me slick, I’d CB her in a second. Now she wants to act like a saint and build a school in Malawi on some Oprah type shit. Oh wait, but she plans on evicting people from their homes in order to do it. What kinda beast is she that nobody wants to tell her no? Where is David Letterman when you need him? He had no problem putting her in check…kinda. She did kinda steal the show from him too. Madonna must be some sorta demon that paralyzes people with fear if she doesn’t get her way. Fuck that and fuck her. I got 99 problems and a washed up, leather face bitch ain’t one.

Madonna plus alcohol makes me hurl

I know I was just gonna keep it Brasilian this week, but I saw these photos of Madonna and had to share. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BROAD THINKING??? Wow, she is a fuckin mess. Almost (almost) as bad as Christina Milian looked with the blonde wig. I bet Guy regrets makin her play dress up. Sick.

Lindsay Lohan isn't fooling anyone

Here is Lindsay Lohan takin a cue from early Madonna and doin a “Like A Virgin” shot. Um yea…keyword is “like”.

Classic David Letterman interviews

Last week Joaquin Phoenix appeared on The Tonight Show…and that’s all he did – appear. His mind decided to skip out on that interview. Well leave it to Time magazine to put together” Top 10 Disastrous Letterman Interviews”. Some of these are like, wow. Madonna and Farrah Fawcett take the cake. Farrah was way more loopy than Phoenix and Madonna was just out to irritate Dave and she did a fantastic job of it (wow that woman was (is) a whore, what was Guy thinkin tryin to turn a hoe to a housewife?). Here is a clip from Fawcett’s interview:

See the rest of them here.

Hairy Madonna is a seller

You know it’s a slow day when I start talkin bout Madonna (at least it isn’t Heidi and douche bag…yet. Monteg not Klum you idiots...Seal is good in my book). Anyways, the nude photo (with the hairy pits and pit) has sold for a whoppin $37,500. Wow. Obviously it’s not a recession for some. The photo was supposed to sell from no more than $15k, but some baller baller decided it was worth more. Pretty sure it was Guy Ritchie and he’s gonna hang it somewhere were him and his friends can use it for target practice. Or maybe he’ll put it in the gym and use it as motivation to punch the bag harder (Chris Brown style). The place he shouldn’t put it is in the kitchen…he could catch salmonella.

Madonna used to look good

Seriously I don’t know if these pics are any better. Madonna then and now still makes my penis go into the witness protection program. Seriously, don’t look at these pics unless you like your women au natural.

Sucka for love

How long can we keep the idiots theme goin today??? A-Rod apparently did spend Thanksgiving with Madonna. After he spent time with his ex-wife and kids, he drove over to Madge’s house on Star Island and spent time with her too. I wonder how much time Madonna spent with her failed slave baby David? That just kills me how Guy wasn’t big on the adoption of David, yet he ended up with most of the custody. Thank you Guy for properly saving an African child.

Take that, bitch

A-Rod is doin the right thing and spendin time with his family instead of the devil named Madonna. There are even reports that he has dropped out of Kabbalah school because he found it boring. HAHAHAHAHA I hope it's true. That evil bitch tryin to make everyone believe like she does. I hope he gets real tired of her and dumps her. Leave Madonna alone, because that’s what she deserves. Am I hatin? Maybe. She needs to stop kidnapping African boys. Last time white people did that…well, you already know.

It's over for now

HOORAY FOR GUY RITCHIE!!! Part one of the drama is over for him. In a quick divorce, Guy got 4 milli from Madonna (he didn’t want ANY money at all) and majority custody of the two boys, David and Rocco. I like how she blames Guy for not supportin her and that A-Rod is everythin Guy was when they first met and blah blah blah. This bitch isn’t a victim, as evident in the picture below. She is a hardcore bitch. Madonna gets what Madonna wants (like kidnapping African boys and callin it adoption). She gets no sympathy from me and the fact she would call out Guy like that durin her concert is really classless. He didn’t cheat on her, he didn’t beat her, he just didn’t “support” her. The only support Madonna ever needs (or needed) is to keep her tits perky. She is a hard inside as she looks outside.

Don't: Let her seduce you. Do: Drive a stake thru her heart

I can’t wait for Guy to be done with Madonna. This bitch is just…well I blame him. He shoulda put the hand to her the very first time she gave him lip. It would have resulted in either A) a divorce before they had kids and without all this drama or B) a very domesticated Madonna. Instead he has to deal with shit like this:

Yes, that is a list of things (according to the Daily Mail) Guy must adhere to while seeing his kids (well the nigga baby is kinda like his kid lol). What kinda man would tolerate how to raise his kids? If I was him I’d do the opposite of everything on that list. I’d buy them polyester jumpsuits and take them to a strip club. We’d eat McDonald’s everyday while watchin cricket on the telly (or futbol). I’d read to them articles from Playboy every night. And I’d tell them that their mother is a rotten bitch and that she should rot in hell with A-Rod.

Not a good look

When you’re in the middle of a divorce, the best course of action would be to do things that make you look like the more stable spouse. Obviously Madonna’s lawyers didn’t get the memo, because the latest news is that she and A-Rod met up at [Jerry] Sinfield’s home in the Hamptons. I mean, what kinda freaky shit do they got goin on? A real kinky masquerade party? Wouldn’t surprise me, we already know A-Rod is a swinger. Get it? Swinger? Baseball? Swapping? Ah, ah? Fuck it. I’m tired.

Crazy bitch Madonna

It seems Madonna is lookin pretty shitty in the public eye nowadays. Good, that’s what that bitch gets! Now it appears her Kabbalah spiritual leaders have told her to play nice with Guy and seem to want the divorce to go in Guy’s favor. Apparently Guy is their favorite. Which doesn’t make sense to me, because I thought Guy wasn’t big on Kabbalah, so who knows how credible this is. What does make more sense is a rumor that Madonna had a marriage contract with Guy on how he could behave. In this alleged contract were things like: the number of dates they would go on, how often they had sex, and certain words that couldn’t be used when they argued. With the exception of the last one, I would say living with Madonna musta been a nightmare and a half. Probably 2 nightmares. You ever wake up from a nightmare and go back to sleep, JUST TO CONTINUE THE SAME NIGHTMARE?!? Yea, that’s what livin with Madonna is like.

Madonna divorce gets ugly

It looks like Madonna and Guy’s divorce is gonna be a messy one. What is with the Brits and public ugly divorces? They have children for cryin out loud. That can read tabloids and surf the internet and have friends whose parents gossip around them and they bring that shit to school. It’s soooo stupid. So selfish. That’s why I oppose celebrities having kids (unless they have them with me). They are way too egotistical to think about another being’s life. I really oppose when they adopt. Tryin to make the world a better place my ass (except Jolie, that lady is a saint so you watch your mouth when you talk about her.) I hate when they kidnap African babies from the orphanage and parade them in front of the media. That’s why I fuck with Guy in this battle. He never wanted that gorilla baby in the house and I don’t blame him. They (actually just Madonna) needed to fix themselves before tryin to help others. I wish the old hag would go away.

From make ups to break ups

So People Magazine says that Madonna’s marriage was over before they filed for divorce. DUH. That they hit a rough patch when Madonna kidnapped that boy from Africa. DUH. And that Guy never really embraced Kabbalah. DUH. Moral of the story? When tabloids report that something is going wrong, they are usually right. I've seen this comin for like 4 years now.

David Duchvony’s tennis coach has sparked rumors of their affair. When recently asked about it, she didn’t really deny it and even IMPLIED that somethin was going on. What a trifling hoe. Don’t she know that this could hurt his wallets during the divorce trial? Thin wallets mean no tennis lessons. No tennis lessons means…well you see where I’m going with this.

In (temporarily) happy news, Nelly Furtado has come clean about her marriage over the summer to a sound engineer. Um, good for her? I would like to believe that they will be together forever, but I think the Yankees have a better shot of makin it to the World Series this week than Nelly does stayin married forever lol.

Madonna divorce

Madonna and Guy Ritchie are gettin a divorce. Duh. We knew this months ago Madge, when you ended A-Rod’s marriage. Why do celebrities thrive on having power? Why do they always want to be in control? Why did they announce the news on their own terms, like she wasn’t seen having lunch with A-Rod last week? Who did she think she was fooling? Ridiculous. O well, haven’t been a Madonna fan since she “adopted” (or kidnapped) that kid from Africa. I think she’s becoming irrelevant. When actors become irrelevant, they become directors. What do musicians do when they become irrelevant? Make more irrelevant music?