Good Guys finish first

Guy Ritchie has gotten back on the horse. No, he’s not back with Madonna. He has a new honey dip by the name of Jemima Khan (millionaire heiress, and not of the Paris Hilton variety, I think this woman actually does charitable work). That’s good for the ol’ chap. The ink on the divorce papers hasn’t even dried yet and he already celebrating. When you break up and the other party has moved on with their lives, you gotta do the same (I’m lookin at you Dame Lol).

Sucka for love

How long can we keep the idiots theme goin today??? A-Rod apparently did spend Thanksgiving with Madonna. After he spent time with his ex-wife and kids, he drove over to Madge’s house on Star Island and spent time with her too. I wonder how much time Madonna spent with her failed slave baby David? That just kills me how Guy wasn’t big on the adoption of David, yet he ended up with most of the custody. Thank you Guy for properly saving an African child.

It's over for now

HOORAY FOR GUY RITCHIE!!! Part one of the drama is over for him. In a quick divorce, Guy got 4 milli from Madonna (he didn’t want ANY money at all) and majority custody of the two boys, David and Rocco. I like how she blames Guy for not supportin her and that A-Rod is everythin Guy was when they first met and blah blah blah. This bitch isn’t a victim, as evident in the picture below. She is a hardcore bitch. Madonna gets what Madonna wants (like kidnapping African boys and callin it adoption). She gets no sympathy from me and the fact she would call out Guy like that durin her concert is really classless. He didn’t cheat on her, he didn’t beat her, he just didn’t “support” her. The only support Madonna ever needs (or needed) is to keep her tits perky. She is a hard inside as she looks outside.

Don't: Let her seduce you. Do: Drive a stake thru her heart

I can’t wait for Guy to be done with Madonna. This bitch is just…well I blame him. He shoulda put the hand to her the very first time she gave him lip. It would have resulted in either A) a divorce before they had kids and without all this drama or B) a very domesticated Madonna. Instead he has to deal with shit like this:

Yes, that is a list of things (according to the Daily Mail) Guy must adhere to while seeing his kids (well the nigga baby is kinda like his kid lol). What kinda man would tolerate how to raise his kids? If I was him I’d do the opposite of everything on that list. I’d buy them polyester jumpsuits and take them to a strip club. We’d eat McDonald’s everyday while watchin cricket on the telly (or futbol). I’d read to them articles from Playboy every night. And I’d tell them that their mother is a rotten bitch and that she should rot in hell with A-Rod.

Crazy bitch Madonna

It seems Madonna is lookin pretty shitty in the public eye nowadays. Good, that’s what that bitch gets! Now it appears her Kabbalah spiritual leaders have told her to play nice with Guy and seem to want the divorce to go in Guy’s favor. Apparently Guy is their favorite. Which doesn’t make sense to me, because I thought Guy wasn’t big on Kabbalah, so who knows how credible this is. What does make more sense is a rumor that Madonna had a marriage contract with Guy on how he could behave. In this alleged contract were things like: the number of dates they would go on, how often they had sex, and certain words that couldn’t be used when they argued. With the exception of the last one, I would say living with Madonna musta been a nightmare and a half. Probably 2 nightmares. You ever wake up from a nightmare and go back to sleep, JUST TO CONTINUE THE SAME NIGHTMARE?!? Yea, that’s what livin with Madonna is like.

Madonna divorce gets ugly

It looks like Madonna and Guy’s divorce is gonna be a messy one. What is with the Brits and public ugly divorces? They have children for cryin out loud. That can read tabloids and surf the internet and have friends whose parents gossip around them and they bring that shit to school. It’s soooo stupid. So selfish. That’s why I oppose celebrities having kids (unless they have them with me). They are way too egotistical to think about another being’s life. I really oppose when they adopt. Tryin to make the world a better place my ass (except Jolie, that lady is a saint so you watch your mouth when you talk about her.) I hate when they kidnap African babies from the orphanage and parade them in front of the media. That’s why I fuck with Guy in this battle. He never wanted that gorilla baby in the house and I don’t blame him. They (actually just Madonna) needed to fix themselves before tryin to help others. I wish the old hag would go away.

From make ups to break ups

So People Magazine says that Madonna’s marriage was over before they filed for divorce. DUH. That they hit a rough patch when Madonna kidnapped that boy from Africa. DUH. And that Guy never really embraced Kabbalah. DUH. Moral of the story? When tabloids report that something is going wrong, they are usually right. I've seen this comin for like 4 years now.

David Duchvony’s tennis coach has sparked rumors of their affair. When recently asked about it, she didn’t really deny it and even IMPLIED that somethin was going on. What a trifling hoe. Don’t she know that this could hurt his wallets during the divorce trial? Thin wallets mean no tennis lessons. No tennis lessons means…well you see where I’m going with this.

In (temporarily) happy news, Nelly Furtado has come clean about her marriage over the summer to a sound engineer. Um, good for her? I would like to believe that they will be together forever, but I think the Yankees have a better shot of makin it to the World Series this week than Nelly does stayin married forever lol.