The Game Feat. Chris Brown, Diddy, Boys 2 Men, Polow Da Don & Mario Winans - Better On The Other Side

Ya’ll know The Game did a tribute song for MJ…well here is the video.

The only question I got is why is the Game sittin in a bathtub with candles? That shit looks hella romantic for a tribute video. And why he got MY young Michael Jackson picture on his iPhone? My shit is original and classic and now this bum gonna bite my style. Boyz II Men are so irrelevant in this song. I mean wasn’t Chris Beezy enough? Polow Da Don too…what was his purpose? Diddy the only nigga that you need for ad-libs!

Armageddon 2 - The Twitter for help

Diddy, Ashton Kutcher, and Demi Moore leaving CNN together…I smell trouble. You got two people that make the most ridiculous reality shows and the most stupidest (don’t correct me) video blogs ever. They gonna work together? This is like a Jerry Bruckheimer/Michael Bay film…lots of explosions, no substance. Be prepared America…

The Jadakiss game....yeah

Here’s a game for you to play at work, count how many time Jadakiss says “yeah”. For my non rap listeners, Jadakiss is one of the greatest rappers alive but was thoroughly (I wanted to use the word 'mismarketed' but Word tells me it's not a word, so enter in your own adjective) and had subpar albums. He is the bald one…that keeps sayin “yeah”.

Diddy didn't know they still made $1 bills

Diddy has this “what the fuck is this doin here?” look.

I had the same look when I found croissants and French fries in our home the other day. Tear. Can you create a petition to get people divorced? Like if we got enough names and took it to France, do you think they would annul the marriage?

VH1 was created by the Devil

I hate VH1. Uncle Luke Skywalker has a TV show? What kinda dumb shit is that? I don’t care about him being a family man. I was wanna see some ASS & TITTIES!!! Real trash on TV. But you wanna know how I know Luther Campbell has a show? Because I was watchin New York in Hollywood. FUCK ALL YOU CABLE HAVING BITCH ASS MUTHAFUCKAS!!! I BLAME YOU! YOUUUUUUUUUU! YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU for this shit. You watched her on Flavor of Love, and then you watched her on Flavor of Love 2. Then you watched her on I Love New York. THEN you watched her on I Love New York 2. You made her into a celebrity. This no talent, drama causing, ugly ass, black Paris Hilton bitch. So to all my readers with cable and tune in to VH1 – fuck you. I mean it. Lol. I Wanna Work For Diddy just came on. Who did his intro? MGM studios? Fake ass James Bond.

Horray for the short work week!

Long weekend, but it was so interesting we are gonna get started.

Sarah Palin. Beauty Queen, mayor, milf, governor, and now VP candidate. I could rant on her for days and sex her for hours (or is it rant on her for hours and sex her for days, lol), but I know you’re attention span is about as long as a housefly. I know someone that is equally as crazy, but not as funny, as me and he already wrote a note about her. You can find the note here (but you may need a Facebook account). What’s weird is that the race is still dead even….are Republicans really that dedicated to getting one of their own into office that they will risk the stability of our country?

So the mother of missing toddler, Caylee Anthony, was taken into custody on some bullshit charges. The DA is tryin to make sure that she doesn’t flee the country or something (I’ve seen enough Law & Order to know how that works.) This child has been missing like all summer (it’s reported that she’s dead), and the mom hasn’t been acting too concerned, so everyone thinks she has something to do with it. The mom is true to her street code. She hasn’t snitched or waivered or acted scared while being interrogated by the cops. She more hood than the rats we got in jail (well, out of jail since that’s the perk of ratting lol.) I say take her water boarding…she’ll be talkin in no time.

Iraq signed a $3B oil deal with China. Does this mean we can finally send them the bill and get some of our money back? Wouldn’t it be nice for the government to give us a milli each for the war? I wonder if I can sue the government. The war has caused me emotional and financial stress and I should be compensated for it. I stopped flying in 2001 which caused me to lose money. And current gas prices have stopped me from filling my jet and I fly commercial now, lol.


Actually the reason I fear flying is because people still crash planes, like this is the 80s. Or even worse, still have near misses in the air. How you gonna have alllllll that fuckin sky and planes still fly close to each other. Is there not enough atmosphere for 5 planes to be in the same area without almost crashing into each other? It appears that the people in the control tower had just received the news about Palin running for VP and were laughing uncontrollably when the near miss occurred.

This guy gives a new meaning to “heartless.” How this kid at 14 got a heart transplant and at 18 he plotted to murder his neighbor and remove his heart? LMAO, wow. Where did he get his new heart from? A convicted serial killer? This is the type of shit you see in movies, where a person gets a (insert part) transplant and then they start going fuckin crazy! O snap, I just thought of a “plot” for my next porno. An average guy gets a penis transplant from a dead porn star and goes on a sex rampage….plowing every woman he sees in a skirt! Lol. If Red Light or Bang Bros takes my shit, I will sue!!!

Speakin of porn, it looks like IE8 (Internet Explorer for you non-nerds) will have a feature called “in Private Browsing” also known as “Porn Mode” browsing. That’s because once activated, Internet Explorer won’t keep ANY record of your surfing. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. It would be like you were never on the computer. Now I can put dirty links on The Rant, lol. However, IT depts. can still monitor what you’re doing so don’t try it at work.

The King of Pop turned 50 this past weekend. He kept it low key by having cake and watchin cartoons at his house with the kids. When asked what cartoons he watched with his kids, he responded that HIS kids were spending the weekend with their mothers. Oh Mikey, back at it again. Lol.

And lastly, in a bit of justice (in my eyes) a driver took a 30 foot plunge off the highway and the vehicle burst into flames makin sure the driver was dead. Was this person running from the cops? No. A child molester? Nope. A Republican? Maybe, but doesn’t matter to me. The person was speeding. In....A.....2008 Lamborghini (at the time of the report, the model wasn’t identified, but it was lime green makin it most likely a Gallardo.) Now you’re prolly sayin “damn you harsh, how could you not feel sorry for this guy?” EASY, as a car lover it is easy for me to be highly upset when these douche bags with more money than they need buy nice cars that they have no business driving and then they crash them….then they go buy another! Fuck em, one less person to buy up a Lambo I could own in the future. If he or she had just crashed, because some dick hit them then that’s fine. But most people that own supercars crash them because they were speeding, acting fast and furious instead of slow and serious like they should be. I know as soon as I get my supercar, the first thing I’m doing is taking it to a track and figuring out how to properly push it so that I don’t look like an idiot when I stomp the gas and wrap it around a utility pole. I so many nice cars this weekend (spent half my weekend in Beverly Hills) it was a nice reminder on why I moved to LA. The best was of course was seeing the SLR McLaren....I almost wet myself. But an even better surprise was seein the GT-R and 09 Maxima which is growing on me.

It seems the fastest man on Earth is faster than we thought:




The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Bad plumbing

So this past weekend was my birthday and I learned that: A) Birthday wishes are the best when they come from people you didn’t know still had your phone number (or as a friend on FB) and that B) Thai food makes me shit. VIOLENTLY. Lmao, now that I’ve grossed you out, on with the show!!

Pussycat Dolls have a When I Grow Up Remix, with Diddy, Wayne and beat maker (now rapper??) DarkChild. I secretly like the original song because that beat is hot and so are the girls, but I couldn’t figure out a way to put it on my iPod and blast it in my whip and drive thru West Hollywood without being deflowered by the Village People lol. On this remix, the girls don’t even sing, they just are in the background. And the remix beat is a little better too!! Best part has to be Diddy’s verse when he’s like “ Now I could have Ma$e come to ya wake as I kill ya’ll slow/ Wanna another remix? Here I go/ There’s only one Puff Daddy, yea I know/ And yea I don’t write nothin, but yea I flow” LMAO. Big ups to Diddy to not being ashamed of using ghost writers. Now if other rappers would do the same (the rapper I’m thinkin about, his name also rhymes with same lol). I also heard the Put On Remix with Jigga man. Much better than the original only because of Jay’s verses. I think that’s how the song shoulda been constructed, with who/what they put on instead of the crap Jeezy spits. The best part of the song is when he asks Guru to give him that T-Pain….lol, just listen.

People magazine has released the first pictures of Vivienne & Knox. Who are they you may ask? Well they are Brad and Angelina’s new twins of course. I would post pics of the People Magazine cover but since they paid over 14 million for the pics, I think it would be a safer bet to just link there instead of typin Hey Don’t Sue Me at the bottom lol. Those kids are lucky, so lucky that I hate on them in their infancy. I hope they ugly when they get older, which is pretty much impossible since their parents are Brad and Angelina. And I can’t expect them to grow up racist or become bigots because they older siblings are Asian and Black. They don't even have the weird first names that celebrities give their kids like Apple or Osteoporosis. Maybe they’ll develop a coke habit and spend all their parents’ money on bullshit. Nah but seriously, I love the Jolie-Pitts too much to hate, I mean they donating the money for the pics to some charitable cause as usual. Kudos to the newly expanded army.

Brett Favre is unretired which to me is kinda silly. Granted he almost made the Super Bowl last year, and had his best season ever, I think he should walk away while he can still walk. I mean old man Favre should be using a walker right now, lol. But seriously, Jay-Z came back…that sucked. MJ came back, and that sucked BUT in his defense he was so great that he had to retire twice before he sucked lol. I guess the difference is, Favre hasn’t taken any time off. I mean he announced his retirement during the off season, and now it’s on season and he is feelin the itch. Some argue, that football is all he knows so of course he would want to come back. That’s bullshit to me. Up until age 22, school was all I knew but I retired from that muthafucka and haven’t looked back yet!!! Fuck a master’s lmao. Then again, I am writing blogs….maybe I should unretire from school lol. I do hope if he comes back, he’ll be able to walk off the field at the end of this season, because I don’t know how much gas Old Man Favre really has left in his tank.

Dark Knight is still killin it in the box office. It has made $394.9 million in 17 days. In order to keep Christian Bale in the headlines, studio executives have been asking Bale’s female cousins and nieces to come forward and ask for money lol. I still plan on seein it again in IMAX soon, maybe this week. I would like a moment of silence for my Movie Critic Partner: Jetson, who hasn't seen this movie yet because he can't find any "me time" due to his newborn son. He found some "me time" when it was time to play GTA4, but can't find anytime to see the MOVIE OF THE YEAR!! SMH at him and the 2 other people I've met that haven't seen this movie.

Here is a freestyle from the self proclaimed Greatest Rapper Alive...I guess this is why hip hop is dead lol:

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Robbery

Ok, I know I promised you a short one last night…but you know me. Well today is gonna be short, so short you’ll prolly feel robbed. Lol, funny because that is the theme for today’s post.

So before I complained about not being able to find a good mechanic out here, and having to resort to the dealership. Whomp whomp because that wasn’t any better. Took my GT-R to the Glendale Nissan dealership to figure out if it was the O2 sensors that needed replacing. It took them 5 hours to service my car. After hour 2 I went in to talk with the service manager and he said that I had some electrical issues with my car. The last fuck-up to touch my car disconnected a harness that connects to the CPU. Because of that, they can’t tell if it’s the O2 sensor that’s messed up or the fact the CPU can’t properly read it. After hour 4 (by this time I already went to the mall and bought a bday outfit), I found out that this is a delicate process and isn’t a matter of just reading codes and that my car will be done shortly. After hour 4.25, they finally finished with the diagnosis and told me I need my O2 sensor replaced. This is why people die, but when you hear it on the news you think it was a random act of violence.

While at the dealership all day, I was forced to keep myself entertained with some television. At one point in the afternoon the channel was changed to cartoon network for the kids (I will admit, I love cartoon network). Towards the end of the day (around 4:30pm) this lady who wasn’t waiting in the area with us at all, is about to pay the cashier and pick up her car. She starts watchin the show “Chowder” and starts complain about how disgusting the show is and demands that the channel is changed. “There’s nothing but garbage on TV nowadays” I like Chowder; it is pretty silly and sick at times but nothin different than what we grew up with. After switchin the channel to Disney Family, she pays her balance and leaves…now I’m stuck watchin Gilmore Girls. Why do people feel the need to ALWAYS be socially conscious? Her kids weren’t watchin the show. She didn’t plan on watchin the show. If she had watched the show, she would realize that every disgusting thing is done in jest and isn’t meant to encourage the behavior. I mean what kid is really gonna put salt on their belly button lint to make it taste better? I knew what kind of bitch she was too. The loud mouth, everyone look at me, I’m tryin to make a difference type. I hope her engine bursts into flames on her ride back.

My roommate plans on gettin the new iPhone tomorrow. Today he went into AT&T’s store to look at different service plans he would have to get. Not only have they jacked the prices up for no apparent reason (don’t you already get unlimited data at a cheaper cost? Why does it cost more when you get it for the iPhone?) but they also charge you an upgrade fee. What the fuck is an upgrade fee? How are they gonna charge you for gettin a better phone? Who at corporate said that would be a good idea? And who is the heartless bastard(s) that Ok’d it? That’s like them sayin “We gonna charge you this onetime fee to pay us more money”. HUH???? How you gonna charge me for being a good customer? FUCK AT&T and anyone else that charges an upgrade fee.

Party time. See ya Monday. Here is the biggest Robber of them all:

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!