Iraq will soon belong to the Iraqis

This is gonna be somethin to pay attention to. I kinda feel the turnout of Iraq will really cement whether the Bush administration was incompetent or extremely ballsy. Personally, I’m glad that we are finally turnin over the country back to its government and military. It’s way past due to bring our troops home. They need some real R&R. Only thing is, our government doesn’t really have a shiny track record when it comes to handling vets. I think everyone is expectin the insurgents to try some bullshit as soon as the U.S. army leaves so I think the Iraqi army has to bring HELL to anyone that even looks at them funny. If they can establish dominance and take out insurgents guns-a-blazin then there is hope. The key is for the Iraqi army is to not feel like they are killin their brothers or one of their own. If they can take a good vs. evil approach, they will claim victory for sure. And I guess the Bush administration will be looked at as incompetent heroes. By the way Iraq, where is our oil?

Cheney is truly the devil

Dick Cheney, in his speech yesterday, said that there was no link between Saddam Hussein and the 9/11 attacks. I already knew this but to hear that he admitted that throws me for a muthafuckin loop. He basically said that after all the facts were sorted out there was no reason to invade Iraq except for the fact that they MIGHT have harbored terrorist at one point or another in the country’s 1000 year history. Wow. Just like wow. I’m really thrown for this because the way I see it, the United States government illegally started war with a country…wait, during a “war” don’t two sides have to fight each other? I don’t recall any Iraqi planes flyin over us droppin bombs. Ok, let’s reword it. The United States government invaded a country durin peace time, kicked out the former government, and executed their leader…for no reason. And no other country is appalled enough to say somethin? Well of course they won’t speak because every time they do, America labels them as a terrorist nation (Venezuela, Iran, N. Korea, etc.). If this was any other country, someone would be on trial for war crimes.

Iraqis kill each other now

So how do we measure success? Do we say Iraq is a better place because they have a democratic government? Are the people happier? More successful? More ambitious? Do we say the death of Saddam was a blessing for the Iraqis? Excuse my ignorance since I didn’t give two shits about Iraq until I entered college, so I don’t know how bad things were before our “liberation”. I knew that Saddam was a sadistic, torturous, animal..hmm maybe they are better off now. But Saddam kept his country together. The way I see it, innocent people died because one person wanted more control. Today, innocent people die because EVERYONE wants control. How can that be any different or better? Now instead of fighting against one person, the Iraqis have to fight against multiple factions. It’s stupid. The United States didn’t just break up a regime, it broke up families. It broke up friends. It broke up a country. I don’t consider that successful.

Failed reconstruction efforts in Iraq

Of course it was the Republican’s that got us into this mess to begin with. A new report titled "Hard Lessons: The Iraq Reconstruction Experience," detail how badly the reconstruction efforts have failed since 2003. One of the biggest wastes of money was the maximum-security prison in Khan Bani Saad which the United States spent $40 million on the now-halted $73 million project. Arrrghhhh, why do we spend so much on stupid shit?? Pay off my damn student loans you crooks!!! The government should deduct $5000 off your federal loans every year when you file taxes. Maybe they could finish building this prison and house the former G Bay prisoners. I know it’s another prison but at least it isn’t the Bay anymore, what prisoner wouldn’t want that? Fuck turn it into a hotel for tourists. Make some kinda money of the bitch.

The new shoe monument

Sculptor Laith al-Amiri unveiled a fiberglass and copper version of the shoe thrown at former President White Devil last month at the Tikrit Orphanage complex. The kids at the orphanage are ones displaced due to the war in Iraq. The forgotten causalities of war. I mean how many orphanages has the U.S. opened up since the war started? And when these kids grown up, they gonna be bent. All they know of the U.S. is that we killed their family. Imagine the day when Iraq decides to bite us back in the ass. People keep talkin bout we can’t judge the former President’s legacy until we see the status of Iraq in a decade or so and see the impact of the democracy. I already know what’s gonna happen in this forced democratic state. The kids are gonna grow up, all educated and financially smart, but still angry. So they may not Taliban our asses, but will figure out how to put us into a form of economic slavery. And trust, it will happen. Maybe not 10 years. More like 40-50 years when we hit another Recession (unless if the Federal Reserve is destroyed by then). But by then I’ll already be married to my Saudi princess and have diplomatic immunity, suckas!!! I know I talked that freedom fightin shit, but at the end of the day, I gotta get paid! Neo coulda robbed banks all day and fuck bitches all night…but nahhhh, he had to set people free. And what happened? He lost his love, he lost his sight, and he lost his life. Hahahahaha. I’m stupid.

An Iraqi assassination attempt

Bush made a surprise visit to Iraq this past weekend. It was his “goodbye” visit. It shoulda been a “sorry for ruining your country, where is our damn oil” visit. Anyways, Bush came under fire during his interview with reporters. The link here is from the BBC and is less newsy or you can watch MSNBC’s video below.

Is it that easy to throw shoes at the President? I mean, hell I’ma start wearin golf cleats just in case I run into the President one day. I’m surprised that he had enough time to throw both shoes! Where the hell was the Secret Service? A sniper bullet shoulda laid him down as soon as he stood up in a threatin manner, yellin all that gibberish. Sounded like a remix to Arab Money. I hope this isn’t the same Secret Service that’s gonna protect my Black President next year. And if you aren't cultured, showing the sole of your shoe is of the UTMOST disrespect. This guy THREW two at Bush. No love...

The terrorist won

Well, it looks like we have waived the white flag. Obama and the Iraqi government have came up with a withdrawal date for U.S. troops in Iraq. June 30, 2009 is the deadline for combat troops, while December 31, 2011 is the deadline for ALL troops. Damn Obama…so spineless, how could he…oh wait. Obama isn’t our President (yet), so I wonder who agreed to this? Could it be the current powers that be? So even if McCain was elected, he still woulda had to “wave the white flag and admit defeat.” Ok, enough McCain bashing, I hear his ass is still sore from having the GOP’s hand up it. Don’t the Iraqi soldiers look so nice in their American supplied uniforms?

But just because we stop fighting in one country doesn’t mean we stop fightin completely. Next up (or is it back to?) Afghanistan. And in a recent poll, it appears that many Americans favor the return to Al-Qaeda nation.

Ending the war

Obama is apparently tellin the terrorist: “Hey, we’re leaving Iraq soon, so just wait and you’ll have that country back.” Is this muthafucka on some angel dust? Really? Now, I’m startin to get mad. Before I was respectin his opinion but now I’m pissy. A)The war on terror did not begin in Iraq. B)The war on terror will not end in Iraq. C)Haymakers are the most telegraphed punches, but when they land they are devastating, so just because you see it comin doesn't mean you can deal with it. We aren’t giving the terrorist back Iraq (because they weren’t in Iraq to begin with, they might be now due to the turmoil we’ve caused, but they weren’t there at first). Does this nigga even know how to create a proper war strategy? What’s a more effective way of evicting your neighbor? Callin the cops and complaining? Or getting the neighborhood to write a letter of complaint to the city? So when tryin to pick a battle when the battlegrounds isn’t your neck of the woods, what do you think is a better strategy? Going in dolo, or getting the assistance with the groups around you? If we don’t have international support, then this war on terror will go on FOREVER! Let’s go back to the drawing board and re-figure some shit out. Instead of sending more troops every month, weakening our forces elsewhere. Let’s refocus our efforts on where we originally believed the terrorist to be. What we are doing in Iraq is a one team effort when there’s clearly a back up team in the wings ready to be deployed. Why don’t we let the Iraqi military start to handle bigger operations, isn’t that what we trained them for? This dumb nigga gonna say, how can they handle the terrorist better than we can. Well for one, they carry a better understanding of the PSYCHOLOGICAL makeup of the terrorist. They know the terrain better. They are physically built for the environmental conditions in Iraq.

Horray for the short work week!

Long weekend, but it was so interesting we are gonna get started.

Sarah Palin. Beauty Queen, mayor, milf, governor, and now VP candidate. I could rant on her for days and sex her for hours (or is it rant on her for hours and sex her for days, lol), but I know you’re attention span is about as long as a housefly. I know someone that is equally as crazy, but not as funny, as me and he already wrote a note about her. You can find the note here (but you may need a Facebook account). What’s weird is that the race is still dead even….are Republicans really that dedicated to getting one of their own into office that they will risk the stability of our country?

So the mother of missing toddler, Caylee Anthony, was taken into custody on some bullshit charges. The DA is tryin to make sure that she doesn’t flee the country or something (I’ve seen enough Law & Order to know how that works.) This child has been missing like all summer (it’s reported that she’s dead), and the mom hasn’t been acting too concerned, so everyone thinks she has something to do with it. The mom is true to her street code. She hasn’t snitched or waivered or acted scared while being interrogated by the cops. She more hood than the rats we got in jail (well, out of jail since that’s the perk of ratting lol.) I say take her water boarding…she’ll be talkin in no time.

Iraq signed a $3B oil deal with China. Does this mean we can finally send them the bill and get some of our money back? Wouldn’t it be nice for the government to give us a milli each for the war? I wonder if I can sue the government. The war has caused me emotional and financial stress and I should be compensated for it. I stopped flying in 2001 which caused me to lose money. And current gas prices have stopped me from filling my jet and I fly commercial now, lol.


Actually the reason I fear flying is because people still crash planes, like this is the 80s. Or even worse, still have near misses in the air. How you gonna have alllllll that fuckin sky and planes still fly close to each other. Is there not enough atmosphere for 5 planes to be in the same area without almost crashing into each other? It appears that the people in the control tower had just received the news about Palin running for VP and were laughing uncontrollably when the near miss occurred.

This guy gives a new meaning to “heartless.” How this kid at 14 got a heart transplant and at 18 he plotted to murder his neighbor and remove his heart? LMAO, wow. Where did he get his new heart from? A convicted serial killer? This is the type of shit you see in movies, where a person gets a (insert part) transplant and then they start going fuckin crazy! O snap, I just thought of a “plot” for my next porno. An average guy gets a penis transplant from a dead porn star and goes on a sex rampage….plowing every woman he sees in a skirt! Lol. If Red Light or Bang Bros takes my shit, I will sue!!!

Speakin of porn, it looks like IE8 (Internet Explorer for you non-nerds) will have a feature called “in Private Browsing” also known as “Porn Mode” browsing. That’s because once activated, Internet Explorer won’t keep ANY record of your surfing. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. It would be like you were never on the computer. Now I can put dirty links on The Rant, lol. However, IT depts. can still monitor what you’re doing so don’t try it at work.

The King of Pop turned 50 this past weekend. He kept it low key by having cake and watchin cartoons at his house with the kids. When asked what cartoons he watched with his kids, he responded that HIS kids were spending the weekend with their mothers. Oh Mikey, back at it again. Lol.

And lastly, in a bit of justice (in my eyes) a driver took a 30 foot plunge off the highway and the vehicle burst into flames makin sure the driver was dead. Was this person running from the cops? No. A child molester? Nope. A Republican? Maybe, but doesn’t matter to me. The person was speeding. In....A.....2008 Lamborghini (at the time of the report, the model wasn’t identified, but it was lime green makin it most likely a Gallardo.) Now you’re prolly sayin “damn you harsh, how could you not feel sorry for this guy?” EASY, as a car lover it is easy for me to be highly upset when these douche bags with more money than they need buy nice cars that they have no business driving and then they crash them….then they go buy another! Fuck em, one less person to buy up a Lambo I could own in the future. If he or she had just crashed, because some dick hit them then that’s fine. But most people that own supercars crash them because they were speeding, acting fast and furious instead of slow and serious like they should be. I know as soon as I get my supercar, the first thing I’m doing is taking it to a track and figuring out how to properly push it so that I don’t look like an idiot when I stomp the gas and wrap it around a utility pole. I so many nice cars this weekend (spent half my weekend in Beverly Hills) it was a nice reminder on why I moved to LA. The best was of course was seeing the SLR McLaren....I almost wet myself. But an even better surprise was seein the GT-R and 09 Maxima which is growing on me.

It seems the fastest man on Earth is faster than we thought:




The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!