The Tiger has been running wild

So there are rumors circulating Tiger Woods and the reason for his car crash this past weekend. A lot of tabloids are sayin that Tiger might be havin his nine iron stroked by another caddie. Her name is Rachel Uchitel and the National Enquirer broke the news (read it here). Now I know…the National Enquirer isn’t one to be trusted. I mean, I read the article a while ago but in light of the car crash and this interview…somethin is fishy:

There was no alcohol involved? So what then? Did he get his ass beat by his wife? Is Tiger afraid of losing sponsorships? My brother made a point that I want to share: what the fuck has Tiger done that makes him above the law and above an investigation? He can decline to speak to cops now? Public property was damaged so he HAS to speak to cops. If this had been any Negro (a pure Negro, not a hybrid) please believe they woulda spent a night in jail. But this mutt with his Swedish white woman for a wife gets a “Get Outta Jail Free” card. Bullshit. I’m leaning more to he’s just embarrassed by the whole situation. I mean his wife had a golf club…how you get your ass beat with your own tool? He’s so used to whacking balls with it that it musta felt shameful to be on the other end of the stroke hahahahaha. I think she beat his ass in the house, he tried to flee, crashed into a couple things and she chased him down to continue the assault. Realized where she was not in a trailer park and decided not to fuck him up anymore. I heard one of the 911 calls and it wasn’t from Mrs. Woods…sooooo did she even call?

Rachel is the brunette

Domestic violence works both ways

Speakin of…Trinidad and Barbados are right next to each other and I’m startin think the only reason why Chris didn’t stop the car to fight Rihanna was because he would lose the advantage:

He really gets his ass beat for almost 8 minutes!!! Damn.

I have a new issue

Is Breast Cancer Awareness over with? Because this battered woman shit needs to be pushed to the forefront. It’s startin to get sickening.

Drunk driver crashes car onto sleeping couple

Damn, that’s why my master bedroom will ALWAYS be on the second floor. How do you survive some shit like that? I woulda been cryin, talkin bout “I can’t feel my face. AYE! YA DIG!” Ok, lame Santana/Wayne joke. But wow, that’s crazy. Glad they’re ok. You gotta be an angry dude to drive a stolen car into someone else’s house thinkin it’s your ex-girlfriends spot. The bitch better have burnt your pubic hairs or something. This counts as (attempted) domestic violence in my book.

Melyssa Ford was Rihanna once...

Even the Black Jessica Rabbit had her ass beat. I swear every girl I’ve messed with has been assaulted physically or sexually or both. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH DUDES??? This shit isn’t cool or funny or nothing. You can’t be an adult (18+) and make another person feel helpless. How can this be empowering? Overpowering someone that you are clearly stronger than…wimps.



Not objectifying any bitches today (lol, just kiddddddddding - women, they are all women)
The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Chris Brown and Rihanna are the '09 Ike and Tina.

Chris Bezzy was sentenced today. He has to do some bullshit community service. I don’t understand how you can be on felony probation and not have served anytime. If you’re a felon, you gotta do time right? How you get FELONY charges and just be walkin the streets? Well the real shocker (even though it’s not really a shocker) is that this isn’t the first time Brown has fought with Rihanna. Two other unreported instances have came to light (I guess Ri Ri started snitching after the February incident). One time in Europe, Rihanna had slapped Chris and he shoved her into a wall. Another time they were arguin in a rented Land Rover in Barbados and he pulled the car over and got out. He ended up breakin the front door, and smashing the passenger window. It’s funny how we put celebrities on a pedestal above regular people when at the end they aren’t any smarter than Joe the Plumber. That’s some real loser type shit of Rihanna to be with a guy that is violent when angry. She has all the money and looks (if you can get past her 5-head which she has stylishly covered with her hair cuts) but still hangs out with someone like Chris Brown. It makes no sense to me whatsoever. Tons of guys would treat her properly. Maybe it’s her daddy’s fault. He didn’t hug her enough as a child. I mean, it’s Chris Brown step daddy’s fault he’s abusive since his step dad beat up his moms. I hate to sound like I’m better than anyone or I’m perfect but I never understood why I live this mediocre life and idiots run around rich and shit. Maybe I should play the idiot and get some of this money.

Chris Brown is sorry

Chris…who cares. Your apology is late. Your lawyer has tarnished your public image. I’m not even mad…never was to begin with. Domestic violence is a very touchy subject…get it? “Touchy”? Because they hittin each other? Har har har…I’m goin to Hell, not gonna pass ‘Go’ or ‘Collect $200’. So where does Chris go from here? People always complain about the special treatment that celebrities get, but do you know who the worst offender of givin celebrities star treatment is? YOU! The fans. The people who easily forgive and forget and support your star no matter what they do. Paris Hilton gets a couple days in jail for a DUI and everyone is in uproar about it. But you still purchase her sex tape and watch her stupid reality shows on TV. If you don’t like what somebody has done, then prove it with your actions and not by leavin REDUNDANT comments on various blogs and websites. It means nothing. So Chris Brown will become America’s sweetheart again once he drops a new single. Some company will have CB endorse their product. All will be right in Beezy land. And you’re to blame. Not me. I know what he did, I don’t approve of it, but I don’t know the situation. Some people think that there is NEVER a time to for a man to put his hands on a lady…I’m not one of those people.

Chris Brown accepts plea deal

Kudos to Chris Brown acceptin responsibility. I know people out there (the people outside of the industry) want to see Chris burn at a stake. But take this into consideration: Rihanna never pressed charges…hell, she wasn’t even the one that called 911 – a resident in an apartment that heard her cries did. When everyone close to Chris and Ri were asked for comments, they all said a mistake was made, respect their privacy, and not one person condemned Chris. Even Rihanna’s father didn’t spas out on the boy. So either everyone is ULTRA FORGIVING or there is more to the story than what was reported. Either way, his sentencing seems to be on par with what’s expected from a celebrity…no jail time. And I kinda realized why. Jail is supposed to be a rehabilitation center, a place to help criminals reflect on their actions. It’s also a place to help keep people safe by removin the threat from society. Chris Brown isn’t really a threat to anyone. He’s been apologetic from the jump and there is a restraining order of 50 yards so that they could still attend the Super Bowl (just kiddin). After the sentencing on August 5th, Chris will issue a statement and all this nonsense will be behind us. I still think Rihanna should speak out against the abuse tho…it just seems like the grown woman thing to do.

Charles Hamilton may wanna get a New Rochelle girl instead

Up and comin hip hop artist, Charles Hamilton, gets too cocky for his girl’s liking:

ROFL. His song, “Brooklyn Girls”, was very annoyin to me and so this punch to the mouth is very satisfying. And “like a man” (as some would say), Hamilton took the punch in stride and tried to “rhyme” it off. Personally, I think he shoulda Chris Brown’d her ass. But a chick like that prolly has older brothers and they woulda thumped on CH’s head till it bled. Now if I wanted to be a sensational journalist, then I would have just left it as is but I like tellin the entire story. CH and Bri made up:

I still think he’s a homo.

Saudi judge 'ok's slapping women

Who was this? Judge Chris Brown? I would love to have this judge in the States…tired of these bitches just spendin my money frivolously. Don’t they know we in a recession? Even better, if he was a divorce judge...I wouldn't need a prenup if I knew he was in the courtroom!

Chris Brown pleads 'not guilty'

I need a white guy like that in my corner. Fuck havin any friends, just gimme a good ass lawyer and my life will be straight. Don’t believe me? If I need to get some ass, no need to call up the boys so we can prowl at the club. I can get a rape charge, he’ll beat it. Wanna get drunk and party? Grab a bottle and walk down a major street, he’ll beat it. Need to borrow a car? He’ll eat Grand Theft Auto charges like they were Scooby snacks! I am messed up in the head. But so is CB. I don’t want him to plead to a lesser charge, I want him to get on the stand and defend his actions!!! Just gimme somethin Chris. She flicked her boogers at you after you told her not to. She called your mama fat. Somethin!!!

PSA for domestic violence or a case against CB?

My problem with Brooke Anderson is A) she came off like she was upset with the video portraying Rihanna’s beat down but when the other ladies didn’t co-sign with her, Brooke changed her tune and made it seem like the PSA was a good thing. Second thing that REALLY bothered me was how she kept using the word “alleged”. Like the bitch didn’t already condemn him. She’s sittin up there portrayin him as a monster but then says he’s not guilty yet. What kinda shit is that?

Chris Brown in court

Goodbye Chris Brown. You really need to just say it, Rihanna gave you herpes and this case will go away. Otherwise nobody can really rock with you. Why couldn’t you be like white celebrities and get addicted to drugs? Then you could go to rehab and come out a winner. When you go to jail, you come out a loser. So, let’s take bets on the new ‘Prince of Pop’…I don’t even know who to place my money on right now. Who’s nice? Omarion faded really quick. Ne-Yo might be gay, so no love for him. Everybody else that’s nice is a bit older.

Update: Chris and Rihanna issue

Anyone who would harm a Lambo needs to die. I mean he coulda put Rihanna’s head through the window. With a car like that you need two hands on the wheels at all times, you can’t be usin one to be beatin up your girl. And he put her in a headlock? Was he steering with his feet? Fuckin ay. But seriously, fuck CB. He’s blacklisted on my site now. The only time he’ll get mentioned is when I’m talking bout Ri and that’s if I can’t avoid it. It’s obvious he’s beat her before sayin shit like “wait till we get home.” What? Really? Wow. And Rihanna’s pops is a bitch ass nigga. I wish a nigga would put his hands on my daughter. I would kill that nigga right in front of his moms then tell her “next time, raise a better kid” and walk off into the night. I don’t play that “attack my family” shit. It’s straight Die Hard over here, call me John Mc. The picture and the report really hit a nerve with me. She wasn’t even fighting back!!!! COME ON!!! You smack your chick, BAM! Alright, you got the message across. What’s really good with the continued abuse? Rihanna shoulda said nothing and been like “alright, I deserve that.” Then killed him in his sleep. This anger is assuming that it was only an argument and she didn’t give him herpes…if she did give him ‘the bumps’ then…she got what she deserved. Sorry.

2009 Ike and Tina

What’s love got to do with it? Apparently a lot for Chris and Rihanna. People magazine reports that the two have been secluded in Diddy’s Star Island mansion patchin things up. A lot of people are callin Ri a ‘ri’-tard and wonderin why she’d go back to Chris after how he mangled her face. They say there is never a reason to hit a woman, but I beg to differ. My mom told me herself that if a woman hits you like a man, then you can fight her like a man. But my mom spent most of her childhood beatin up boys, so maybe she isn’t an authority on the subject. Either way, if they do kiss and make up then we will never get the real reason on why Chris did what he did, which will make Rihanna look more stupid. If Ri forgives Chris, will his fans?

If she didn't have bumps on her lips before, she does now!

All I know is she better have deserved it. I mean really. Like Chris beater, I mean, better be dyin of somethin within 6 months. Otherwise, I’ma have a go at his taekwondo takin ass.

Suge Knight gets beat up...again

Who’s afraid of the dark “Knight”? Obviously nobody. Scottsdale (Arizona) police arrested two men at a private party on Monday. When the police arrived they saw one man (Robert Carnes Jr) punching Suge Knight in the face, twice! Knight had to be sent to the hospital for facial injuries. Damn man, Suge got his ass Rihanna’d which marks the second time in 12 months that Suge has been that nigga to steal on. Granted he might have been jumped this time, but I remember back in the 90s you couldn’t SAY Suge’s name without lookin over your shoulder. Hell, I didn’t even say his name and I lived in NY. Now people whuppin his ass? That dude has fell off. He isn’t gang affiliated anymore? That’s really sorry Suge, you a real pussy now (I have blocked my IP address and I’m blogging from various locations just in case he’s tech savvy).

Chris Brown is sorwy

Speakin of Chris Brown, this past weekend (I don’t know if it’s because I can sing well or because I’m an excellent dancer) girls were tryin to Chris Brown me. Hittin me over the head, flickin me in the eye. I had to check my lips to make sure I wasn’t givin anyone herpes (lol, I kid I kid). Seriously tho, you girls need to cut it out with the public abuse, that shit ain’t cool…’fore I Chris Brown yo ass! Anyways, CB released a statement sayin that he was very sorry for what happened last week and that he is seekin counseling from God, his pastor, his moms, etc. If his music career tanks, he can always take up wrestling. They stay beatin up girls on the WWE…at least they did when I watched.

Chris Brown's mother was beaten

Reports are comin in sayin that Chris “Bobby” Brown really put the work to Rihanna. Black eye, busted lips, the works. There was blood when he left. And of course NOBODY pictures Chris doin somethin so stupid and heinous. This brings me to a point I tend to drive a lot. Never assume you know someone. Regardless of how long you known them, or how public their life is, or whether they do “respectable” work or honest work. You just don’t know. If Chris Brown (19 year old baby boy) can beat his girl’s ass in public, imagine what a politician is doin behind closed doors. A lot people walk around with their third eye closed and live an ignorant life of bliss. It’s really sad because you can’t tell them nothin either. I’m not sayin to be distrustful of everyone and everything (that’s why I’m here); I just want people to stop being so warped in their reality that they can’t see the truth. But back to CB…the nigga gots problems.

Chris Brown out on $50k bail

If you were hoping for Chris Brown to perform at the Grammy’s last night, you were very disappointed when he (and Rihanna) was a no show. That’s because CB had turned himself in to the LAPD after whuppin on some girl’s ass. At time of publish, no real information had been issued except that Chris and this girl were on the streets arguing and when the cops got there, Chris was gone and the girl looked beat up. The girl is sayin that CB busted her up. Now, we have some issues with this one. First off, CB beatin up on girls? That’s like Barney beatin up on kids, just can’t happen. You don’t beat up your main audience demographic. Who does he think is gonna buy his music? Not me, I don’t buy R&B albums, so good luck gettin the women back on your side once you’re labeled a woman beater. Second, where was Rihanna durin this? Because they had left a party together so Ri was there somewhere. Why wasn’t she the one to beat this girl’s ass? Oh…I see. Damn Chris. You wylin. I bet he was drunk too because there is no way you gonna beat Rihanna’s ass the NIGHT before ya’ll perform. How much foundation do you think she was gonna use to cover the bruise(s). I liked Chris too, better than Ne-Yo. At least Chris didn’t look like he would take advantage of me the minute I turned around. Ne-Yo has them bedroom eyes, but not the ones you use on girls….Will Chris Brown bounce back from this? Maybe, I mean I listen to the music of a child molester(s). Worse case for CB is he starts rappin or pimpin, he already has the street cred.