Tiger's Woody

Another thing that is pissing me off is the Tiger Woods fiasco. Let me first start off by saying: Yes I’m glad he was caught. Cheating on your spouse is not cool. Yes, she should have beaten his ass for it. I think it’s a great thing that the media exposed him and I wish every cheater was exposed nationally when caught (I love that show Cheaters)…maybe they’ll think twice before stepping out. Now here are the issues I have with the fiasco. First, why hasn’t Ellin Woods been arrested for domestic violence? If Rihanna had cheated on Chris Brown with 9+ dudes, would he be justified for the trashing he gave her? Ellin Woods almost KILLED her husband. He crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree tryin to escape her. Yet the state of Florida hasn’t come forward to punish her. That’s bullshit. I know she’s hurting and what not but laws are laws correct? Maybe Chris Brown shoulda admitted to Rihanna giving him herpes (not sayin its true, just a strong rumor) or admitted to Rihanna hitting him first (also not sayin it true, just strong rumors. But what is true is that they had a violent relationship. She HAS hit him before). Then he wouldn’t look like such a bad guy. Another issue I have is with this home wrecking hoes. Yea, I know Tiger is the main villain but every villain has a sidekick (or 12 in Tiger’s case) that sticks with him no matter what. YOU DON’T RAT!!! Now I don’t know how the media figured out whom these other women are but I do know that it was because these women talked about it to SOMEONE, they were exposed. And to make matters worse, instead of just denying it some of them have came on TV or sold their story. Not only is it a despicable act to admit that you’re a home wrecking whore, but did you even think about Mrs. Tiger Uppercut and her kids? I applaud Rachel (the first one) for keepin silent about it until other women came forth…she then figured I need to make my cut too lol. But admitting to the nation rather than just your pastor that you slept with Tiger while he was married is just going to DESTROY Ellin. How can she even step outside anymore? Soooo embarrassing. Terribly embarrassing. It’s like does she wanna turn on the TV and risk seeing ANOTHER girl come forth? People look at her with that ‘pity’ look. So a big fuck you to the whores Tiger fucked. I hope you don’t get a penny and I hope your reps are tarnished. But then back to Tiger and for my next point I’ma quote 50 Cent. Not sure the source, someone sent it to me in my inbox - "Thirteen women and no condoms - you're a gambling man ain't you Tiger? Rappers use condoms often. Golfers apparently don't use condoms,” 50 Cent joked. “It’s interesting when you pick your women at Perkins. That’s why you get told on. When she tells it’s not really her fault, especially when you didn’t give her nothing and she’s at Perkins.” It appears that Tiger paid some of these women hush money but not all. That is a mistake. A bigger mistake is not fuckin with someone who has JUST as much to lose as you. That’s one thing dickheads never think about. They always want the easy piece of ass. If I was a BILLIONAIRE golfer like Tiger, I would only fuck with married Princesses lol. Seriously, that way she ain’t runnin her mouth because she’ll prolly be shot. Last but not least, the other irritant in this Woods Gate is of course the media. But it’s not the normal celebrity outlets I’m mad at. ESPN has added a Tiger spot on their ticker that scrolls at the bottom of the screen. Tiger has his own ticker mark. WHYYYYY? He’s not golfing. There is no reason for ESPN to report on anything Tiger related if it’s not about sports. Yesterday while at the gym, I was watching CNN on the screen and they brought in political advisors/public relations to give their thoughts on what Tiger should do to repair his image. Now, CNN has their own celebrity outlets…so leave that shit for them. Talk politics for crying out loud. Lord knows you have enough cheaters in that circle to repair.

Tiger Woods' should just come clean...

Tiger Woods is no longer a Tiger but a Cheetah, lol. That was a friend’s status message. The Tiger jokes are just rollin in. Like what’s the difference between a golf ball and an Escalade? Tiger can drive a golf ball but not an Escalade. Some people call Elin (Tiger’s wife), Sagat from Street Fighter because she performed a “TIGGGGER UPPERCUT” lmao! Anyways, word has it that Oprah has reached out to Tiger for an interview and I’m kinda confused on why. First off, I’m not an Oprah fan. I respect her charitable work and shit like that, but as far as her personality goes she’s a business woman first and a feminist second. She acts like she’s all about empowering women and shit like that but let’s be real for a second. Why on earth would you bring Tiger Woods on your show to talk about cheating? I understand that cheating is a serious issue, but it can’t be as scarring as domestic violence. That’s right, I’m still bitter about her comments about Chris Brown and the fact she didn’t extend a hand out to him to help him out. I know Oprah has had that ass beat but if she’s all about empowering women, then that woulda been the perfect time to GRILL Chris Breezy about what’s messed up in his head. I’m pretty sure women would have appreciated it too. But Chris Brown prolly attracts a younger demographic than who Oprah normally caters to. With Tiger and Elin, they are both middle aged couple with children…cha-ching. Fuck Oprah...yeah I said it. Here is a video of another slore than Tiger ran through…this has to be the most pathetic:

I don’t understand why people fall in love with someone that is married. IF THEY ARE CURRENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP AND THEY ARE CHEATING THEY ARE AUTOMATICALLY NO GOOD!!! They have no integrity. They spouse can’t trust them, but you can? As Ed Lover would say: C’Mon Son!!! If they aren’t single don’t wife/hubby them. Wait till they end their current relationship before you end up lookin like a fool at the end.

The Tiger has been running wild

So there are rumors circulating Tiger Woods and the reason for his car crash this past weekend. A lot of tabloids are sayin that Tiger might be havin his nine iron stroked by another caddie. Her name is Rachel Uchitel and the National Enquirer broke the news (read it here). Now I know…the National Enquirer isn’t one to be trusted. I mean, I read the article a while ago but in light of the car crash and this interview…somethin is fishy:

There was no alcohol involved? So what then? Did he get his ass beat by his wife? Is Tiger afraid of losing sponsorships? My brother made a point that I want to share: what the fuck has Tiger done that makes him above the law and above an investigation? He can decline to speak to cops now? Public property was damaged so he HAS to speak to cops. If this had been any Negro (a pure Negro, not a hybrid) please believe they woulda spent a night in jail. But this mutt with his Swedish white woman for a wife gets a “Get Outta Jail Free” card. Bullshit. I’m leaning more to he’s just embarrassed by the whole situation. I mean his wife had a golf club…how you get your ass beat with your own tool? He’s so used to whacking balls with it that it musta felt shameful to be on the other end of the stroke hahahahaha. I think she beat his ass in the house, he tried to flee, crashed into a couple things and she chased him down to continue the assault. Realized where she was not in a trailer park and decided not to fuck him up anymore. I heard one of the 911 calls and it wasn’t from Mrs. Woods…sooooo did she even call?

Rachel is the brunette

Crazy Republican cheats on wife, and brags about it while mic is hot

Any Republican that talks about family values is havin an affair. Any man in power is prolly havin an affair because his power allows him to do so. That’s why I have to quit the blog before I get married…then again I’ll prolly end up marryin a woman who knows the deal and will let me cheat. This story is kinda crazy, I mean he’s 54 and the women are in their 30s CHEATING on their husbands. Like it would be one thing if he was pullin single bitches. But he’s pullin married ones. I’m never gonna get married. You just can’t trust women. They see that money or that power or that means to move up in life, and they fuck for it. Not all women, just the go getters. So maybe I’ll just marry a loser lol.

Wife pours boiling water on husband's crotch

Lol, in all fairness…if he cheated he deserved it. Hey man, you can’t get caught. That’s the key. Of course the Latina would be like she’s thought of it but would never do it. Lyin ass bitch. All Latinas are crazy and shame on the dude for not even knowin. The same women that will nurse you when on your death bed is the same one that will put you to death if you cross her…that’s why I love em so.

Parents pay hush money for Sen. Ensign

It seriously pays to have sex with people in power. It appears that the PARENTS of shamed Sen. John Ensign paid Cindy Hampton (the hoe) and her family $96k in gifts. The gifts were broken down into $12k per person because any gift under $12k is tax exempt (cha-ching, I just thought of a way to stop payin taxes). That is a lot of money to get from the dude’s PARENTS. That’s why I’m holdin out. No more givin away this good stuff for free. Find me a celebrity or politician to pay for my living expenses. That shit is almost $100k tax free!!! Damn, that’s the good life. I also got a pic of the happy couples. From left to right it’s John, his hot wife, Cindy, and her cuckold husband. Seriously, Cindy is a step down from John’s wife. Why would he ever bother? If you gonna cheat, you GOTTA go a step up.

Steve McNair - Investigation closed

Well that sounds just about right. Tomorrow, we’ll find out that she was pregnant. This is why you don’t mess with unstable 20-somethin year olds. “If she ain’t in school, she ain’t cool” is what I always say. Well, I just made it up right now. You like that huh? I think that it’s a shame he didn’t even get to see it comin but I guess that’s the best way right? Crazy ass bitch tried to shoot herself so that she would fall into his lap, but ended up on the floor. That sucks for his family for sure. The wife is distraught about the whole mess. I guess the lesson for today is, if you gonna fuck around make sure you do it with someone who has somethin to live for besides you. Hahahaha, you thought my lesson was gonna be about not cheatin? Sike, this is America. If you DON’T cheat you’re a square…sad.

McNair's death - the investigation continues

Oh what a tangled web we weave. That chick was only 20-years old, what was McNair datin her for anyways? The dude has a wife for peet’s sake! And how does McNair’s friend walk in see McNair on the sofa and the chick on the floor and think they takin a nap? It’s hard to take a nap with your brain oozing outta your head. They need to just rule it a murder-suicide because it’s obvious that the chick became obsessed with McNair and wanted him to divorce his wife. When he refused and told her that her “pussy is good but that’s about it”, she proceeded to buy the gun and planned on killin him. She most likely gave him the chance to rethink it, but he didn’t calm her down enough and she just killed the both of them. The End. Sad story. I’m pretty sure when she promised to “blow his brains out” by the end of the night, that’s not what he expected.

Cheaters are starting to win

It appears that cheating has OFFICIALLY gone cyberspace. There is this website called AshleyMadison.com that caters specifically to folks lookin to have an extramarital affair. I seriously need to get married today, because the longer I wait the more accepted cheating will be and if my wife cheats on me…death. Seriously, I have to have custom vows because if we do the “till death do us part” one, that’s the only way the marriage will end. My new vows will be “till death do us part or one of us cheats, whichever comes first.” I understand people cheat, I’ve messed with cheaters, I’ve even rationalized in my head why I would cheat but to have a website that promotes cheating? That’s just another chip in the U.S. block of morality. This is basically another step towards a change in social attitudes. Before cheating was wrong, now cheating is done but frowned upon, next it will be assumed that you will cheat to keep a healthy marriage. It’s not a good look whatsoever. What’s even funnier (sad and ironic as well) is the creator of the site said that "Humans aren't meant to be monogamous," but when they asked him how he’d feel if his wife cheated he said he would be “devastated.” It totally bullshit line to say that human beings aren’t meant to be monogamous. Human beings aren’t meant to walk on the moon either, but we’ve seemed to accomplish that. It just takes great will power and an even greater mental capacity to overcome “natural urges.” No, the ONLY SOLE reason I could ever see someone justify cheatin is if they’ve exhausted all resources to fix the marriage. A divorce is never pretty and never cheap. It’s a helluva lot easier and cheaper to live together and cheat. That I can understand. But to say you love someone but still step out on them or if you’ve never went to counseling for your marriage, then that is being irresponsible...which we know is a recurring theme among Americans.

Gov. Sanford has that rain forest fever

Another Republican bites the dust.

Is it a requirement for members of the government to have affairs? I seriously shoulda gotten into politics. Anyways South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford took a secret trip to Argentina to meet with his lover but his staff told everyone that he was hiking. See even the white man can’t deny a Latina…at least I’m hopin that’s who he’d cheat on his wife with. One thing that makes this sweet for me is that fact that Republicans are supposed to be the “moral” ones of the two parties. The more conservative bunch. But would you actually believe that they are human too? And that they make mistakes? Yet they feel it’s there right to be the “judge” of the human race and decided what’s right and wrong. These damn Republicans are just closet Democrats but just don’t know it.

John's are the clients of working girls

You’re not a star in the Republican party until you’ve had an affair. Well I guess that’s why Nevada’s Sen. John (are all white politicians named John?) Ensign has thrown his name in the hat. It appears that he had an affair from December 2007 through August 2008 with a woman who worked in his office. And he was friends with her husband…lol. “Hey there, I plan on running for President in the future. Can I borrow you wife for about 6 months? You’ll be compensated properly.” Politicians. Anyways, his wife forgives him (don’t they usually?) and all is right again with the GOP. Does GOP stand for “getting other pussy”? If so, that is a party I can align myself with. Sick of my wife’s naggin and saggy breasts. I wish I could fuck every girl in the world!

And The Losers Keep Losing

A London couple have divorced (in real life) after the wife caught her husband having sex with prostitute (in Second Life). Like wow. First they met in Second Life, which is the first problem. Online dating is one thing, but online dating an avatar is another. Are you that much of a loser that you can’t go out in real life and meet this person? Then she “watched” her husband avatar have sex with a prostitute and was extremely “hurt” and filed for divorce. You have to figure that anyone you meet online in this fashion isn’t mentally stable to begin with. Unless my wife’s avatar actually had her face and I watched “her” get pile drive’d by some other avatar, the worse that would happen is the termination of her “avatar” and a big fight in the house. The ladies quote makes this whole thing even more stupid: "He never did anything in real life, but I had my suspicions about what he was doing in Second Life." (Source: Western Morning News). Wow simple bitch. Well at least she has bounced back from the failed marriage; she is currently dating someone she met on Worlds of Warcraft. Go figure.

My achy breaky heart

Can you believe someone cheated on this:

With this:

One is a super famous (read: rich) country star and the other is a family friend. And while this is all old news, the fact remains that some guys are just stupid. I mean, I understand one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. So while ex Mr. Twain might have been tired of smashin Shania on a nightly basis, I don’t understand his choice of upgrade (actually downgrade). This other chick is one man’s trash and another man’s trash as well. I don’t condone cheating (but I don’t look down at others that do it, because it’s all science to me) but if you gonna cheat for God’s sake MAKE IT WORTH WHILE!!!



The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

When you cheat, it's never your fault

Remember how I talked about the “marriage counselor” on Oprah who said guys cheat because of emotional reasons? I guess we found one of his patients.

Lame ass nigga. Do you hear how sissy he sounds? “She didn’t appreciate the money I was bringing to the table” Huh? This is Christine Brinkley. Unless you bring billions to the table, why would she appreciate it? The $3000 a month in porn is really inexcusable. Porn is about as free as the air we breathe. What the hell was he watchin for $3000 a month? That musta been some new shit. Which makes me think, because the wealthy always have access to some dumb exclusive shit. Maybe Peter was watchin other celebrity couples have sex…maybe he’s already seen the Obama sex tape.

Wussbags

Ok, this is gonna be really short. Some dude on Oprah came on to promote his book on why men cheat. One thing I hate about guys that cater to women (a.k.a. Wussbags) is that they always try to spin things in a way that’s pleasing to women. This “marriage counselor” interviewed “hundreds” of men to find out why they cheat. According to his “research” over 90% of the men claim that they cheated because of the emotional disconnect they felt with their spouse and not for pure sex reasons. HUH?!?! Bullshit. Did he go to his Wussbag convention to find these “men”? Most men cheat because of sex and sex alone. If I cheat on my wife, it’s not because she doesn’t want to listen to me sob about how hard my day was. Or because she isn’t cryin on my shoulder about her life (cuz I wouldn’t want to hear it anyways). I’m cheatin because there is another girl that wants me to rock her world and I’ma do it! Now I don’t condone cheating, I’m just an animal lol. Then he also says that 88% of the men that cheated, did it with a woman that wasn’t any more attractive than their current wives. HUH!!!!!??!??! WHAT THE FLYING FUCK. What man is gonna risk his marriage over the same piece of ass he can get at home? I CALL BULLSHIT. Men are logical creatures. There is no reward when A = B. The women that strip don’t look like housewives. The women in porn do, but like the SUPER HOT ones, not the one you married. If the man is a loser (a.k.a Wussbag) then of course he’s gonna have sex with any woman that will have sex with him, because his wife isn’t fuckin him (she’s fuckin the plumber). Oprah needs to stop having these lyin ass authors on her show.