Almost turkey day!

I finish this post in like record time. Now time to entertain the wife! Oh, and ummmm, yea. Nothin really much to say. Enjoy! No wait! I forgot to mention how awesome this season of Entourage wrapped up. A trip to Queens, Vinny freakin out (Mr. Cool), and Martin Scorsese!!! Oh, and phone sex with Meadow Soprano? I love that show.

Happy Veterans Day

First off, OWWWWWWWWWWW. Sloan is back. Her chest plate is a bit bony but lookin at “the eyes” made me forget real quick. Second, Village Pizza is decent pizza, not really that good, but glad to know that Larchmont be filming. Definitely doesn’t hurt to live dumb close like that. Ari Gold is the truth…I wish I could be that big of a prick sometimes. I guess with a black president anythin is possible. Third, life is boring without Obama. Hurry up Jan 20th!

An entourage of heroes

Finally watched this past week’s Entourage and Heroes episode. I am impressed and disappointed. On Entourage, what the fuck are they bringing Dom back for? A whole fuckin episode on him? Wow, did the writers go on strike again? The Joshua Tree episode was the one take back for the season (every show is allowed one) but to follow it up with the bullshit from this past week? Considering the season started later than usual (it is supposed to come on during the summer, but due to the strike it started fall), I would expect nothin but the fuckin best. If the writers hit a block, then just throw in some breast and fast cars and good chemistry. I don’t care if the breasts belong to Tara Reid and the cars are go-karts, as long as the boys are all together playin their perfect parts, then it will be a good episode. On the flip side, Heroes is some twisted shit. I mean, wow. They should send ONE of their writers over to Entourage for real. I don’t even know what to say without spoiling it for those that haven’t seen it yet, but wow. I love how they just tie everything together, but at the same time create more loose ends. BUT fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice and I’ma beat the shit outta Milo V. Both past seasons’ finales have sucked. ASS. So I wouldn’t be surprised if after all this great story build up, the finale is bullshit. Also I don’t like how the direction of Hiro’s character. I understand what is going on, but I don’t like how they are doing it. He seems too stupid this year and very easy to manipulate. Very different from the Hiro of the past two seasons. If I had known that they were doin a Villains theme this season, I woulda sooooo signed up. That nigga with the fro that gets stronger off your fears ain’t scary lookin. I’M scary lookin. I’ll eat your fears.

Aquaman is back...

Found out that more people read my blog, good shit. Glad to see I have a lot of fans…a lot of fans that are ashamed to admit to the Facebook world that they read this!! Just like my boy Jesus Christ said, “For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he shall come upon some money!” lmao. Somethin like that.

Finally saw the season opener of Entourage and the boys are back! That show is part of the reason I moved out to Hollywood. The women, cars, fun and care free times I envied. I should make my own show; call it Lonely because that’s how I’m feelin out here lol. Nah, but I still have hope because if Bow Wow can be considered an actor then anyone can. Talk about terrible performance, good thing he is limited to one season. Did you see the part when he was supposed to act disappointed? Wow that sucked. They shoulda showed him the scene so that he could be disappointed in his acting abilities and then reshoot the scene lol. Jeremy Piven is outstanding as Ari Gold once again. The caring asshole, exactly how the girls describe me. Hahahaha, I love it. Vinny Chase comes on the scene in usual Vinny manner – having a threesome on an island bungalow. I really hope they bring back E’s love interest, Sloan. Emmanuelle Chriqui…is to the right. Lol.

The army is reporting that it’s suicide rate could top nation's. That’s craziness. To think that people that are fighting to the death would rather take their own lives than go to battle is mind bottling. I mean, if they really wanted to die they could just pull a John Rambo in front of enemy lines and go out in a blaze of glory. Nah, they would rather take their own lives. Put that in perspective for a bit. What kinda madness must be occurring in Iraq for someone who was prepared to die for their country ends their OWN life? Vote Republican and increase the suicide rate. Seriously, isn’t the military designed to defend a country? So who the hell are we defending with our troops in Iraq? Doesn’t that leave us open for attack from Canada? Lol. But seriously, bring the troops back and stop all this malarkey (Biden used that word, that old timer, so now I’ma bring it back!).

The Enron story finally comes to a conclusion (or is this the epilogue?). The shareholders and investors will split $7.2B in what is that largest settlement in the history of U.S. security fraud cases. Jeez, can I see just 1 mill? I would stimulate the economy with my asinine purchases. Such as 1000 sunglasses. Or 5 pairs of the 13s, 19s, and 23s. In every color lol. I need some tank tops…I would buy a dresser full of them. But first I would need a dresser just for tank tops, so I would buy that too. I guess the richer get richer and the poor get desperate. Where’s a race riot when you need one :(

I’m not a Steve Jobs fan. Ever since I heard that he can be a real bitch ass dude to his employees and he doesn’t have a foundation or a charity that he regularly donates to, I’ve written him off as the white devil of the new millennium. Do I own an iPod? Yes. Use iTunes? Yes. A slave to the white devil? Yep. He has my money but not my soul. I’m just waitin till someone makes a better product. Or maybe I won’t have to worry about that since it seems like Jobs hasn’t paid his innovation elves in the past year. Jobs held one of his press events and unveiled bullshit. I mean let’s keep it real. Can we keep it real for a minute? A thinner Nano? Call it what it is. iPod – The “Kate Moss goes on a diet” Edition. Fuck you need a thinner nano for? It’s already small. Correction. I just got an email from Apple. It’s being called the “Steve Jobs has cancer and doesn’t really give a fuck” edition. Heard he’s been lookin thinner himself.

Still confused on who is for abortion and who’s for off shore drilling? VoteGoper.com has all that sorted for ya. Check out the site, it’s nicely laid out to help you make your decision on voting for Obama lol.

See if you can pinpoint when Jaime ends this comedian’s career:



The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Hurry up and buy!!!

No politics today…kinda. Well, ah fuck it. Tis’ the season right? I should be watchin the RNC but I have no cable, and I don’t need to hear anymore lies. Plus, from the excerpts I read from speeches…I think the Republicans are tryin to throw this election. I mean, instead of them tryin to give a compelling reason why a non-Republican should vote for McCain-Palin, they’re speakin more like they are talkin to just follow Republican friends. For instance, Huckabee said this in his speech tonight:” John McCain is a man with the character and stubborn kind of integrity that I want in a president.” Stubborn? Last time we had a stubborn president we were stuck in a war with no exit strategy. Or even better, an excerpt from Mitt Romney’s speech:

” Last week, the Democratic convention talked about change. But what do you think? Is Washington now, liberal or conservative? Let me ask you some questions.
Is a Supreme Court decision liberal or conservative that awards Guantanamo terrorists with constitutional rights? It's liberal.
Is a government liberal or conservative that puts the interests of the teachers union ahead of the needs of our children? It's liberal.
Is a Congress liberal or conservative that stops nuclear power plants and off-shore drilling, making us more and more dependent on Middle Eastern tyrants? It's liberal.
Is government spending, putting aside inflation, liberal or conservative if it doubles since 1980? It's liberal.”

Um Mitt, you do know that McCain (according to most real conservatives) is a very liberal Republican? Where's the change?

Ok, last political news. This is news to me, but some of ya’ll may already know. Mrs. McCain is a pill popper. Wanna know what makes that story worse? She stole pills from a medical-aid charity that she was the head of. Wanna know how we can make this story worse? She used the names of her employees in order to get prescriptions. HAHAHA, this can’t get any worse, right? Just before someone blew the whistle and brought it all to light, Old Johnny made a few phone calls in Washington to cover it all up. When that failed, they worked to make Cindy look like a victim and a stronger woman for battling it. McCain is a politician. He’s been doing it before Alaska was even a state. The man has experience. He is the government that we’ve been using for the past 20 years. He is American politics. Maybe the older generation likes this kinda shit, because they’re used to it. But for us young folk, this shit ain’t gonna fly. If you vote Republican this November, kill yourself.

FUN TIMEEEEEEE!!!

David Spade is the father of a Playboy Playmate’s newborn. That goes to show, that humor is everythin. That’s why I do this blog…I’m hoping some hot model will find me extremely funny and have sex with me.

What do you do when you get cut from a team? Take the bags of the person who took your spot, duh!! It appears that Tatum Bell was cut in the place of Rudi Johnson for the Detroit Lions’ running back position. When Johnson returned to his locker, he found his Gucci bags missin. The bags were eventually returned with all the contents missin. When Bell was questioned, he claimed that he thought it was a parting gift from the Lions, lol.

In other futbol American news (I sometimes speak in Spanish to get all the mamicitas hot), it is rumored that Tony Romo is playin his girlfriend’s new country CD in the locker room and annoyin the shit out of the 300+ lb black men that he calls his offensive line. My suggestion is he cut that shit out immediately before the next hit he listens to takes his breath away (literally). I hope Ms. Simpson stays away from any important games this year….for her sake.

You know your life sucks if Lindsey Lohan is giving you advice. You know the country is in trouble when her advice is the best Palin’s received. She’s prolly the best political advisor on the McCain-Palin ticket. LiLo wrote on her blog today about how parents should talk to their kids about sex, teenage pregnancy, and the risks involved. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Well I guess she would know firsthand, so who better to dish the advice on unprotected sex?

Speakin of sex, Californication star, David Duchvony, has admitted himself in for rehab for an addiction to sex. Hahahaha, what a loser. You make a show about sex and then you become addicted? It’s called acting Dave…you made a show about aliens but you didn’t walk around with tin foil on your head! Maybe that’s why HBO turned down my idea about using real coke during the filming of this season’s Entourage (which starts on SUNDAY BABBBBY!!!)

Like Glengarry Glen Ross?



The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Monday...blah

At the car wash this weekend and saw this decent lookin Asian girl walk past. Nothin worth givin a second glance at, but there was this Asian dude driving by that was breakin his neck lookin at her, which made me think: what do Asian men look for in their women, body wise? You know white guys like a skinny body with big tits. Black guys like "manageable" frames and a fat ass. And by manageable I mean thick in the right places...some of you niggas like em thick everywhere...yuck. Lol. And Latin men just want a woman that can cook...so he don't care whats manageable or not lol. What do Asian men look for? Tiny feet? Big Nipples? A girl in a proper crane stance? Lmao, can someone shed some light on this so that I’m not so ignorant in the matter?

Madden ’09…wow it’s been a while. I haven’t been prolific in Madden since Vick was on the cover. But I am an awesome video game player, '95 Blockbuster Store Champion, so gettin back into the swing of things won’t take long. I think ’09 is a better game, but it’s not an awesome game. I like the fact that you can have your skill level set based on how you do in the virtual training and it adjusts by game play. I don’t like the fact that when it goes low, you destroy the computer then get ur ass kicked when it goes high, then you destroy the computer when it goes low again. I don’t feel like I becomin better, instead I’m just bein put on this roller coaster of emotions and it’s makin me nauseous. Overall, I can’t wait to play my east coast buddies online and give them a good trashin!!

I miss the Boondocks and Entourage….will the new seasons please start!!

The mighty Batman has fallen from first place and instead this weekend’s box office winners are a bunch of actors playin actors that are makin a movie in Vietnam, lol. Tropic Thunder is hilarious and please see it when you can. Tom Cruise’s role is memorable.



Model lesbians, Ellen DeGeneres and her long time partner, Portia de Rossi (what’s with the ‘De’ in their names? (Say that line 4 times fast, lol)) have recently tied the knot. I for one am completely against this marriage. Look at how hot de Rossi is; she could find a cuter partner than Ellen. Then again, when it comes to powerhouse Lesbos, Ellen is the queen, lol. And I like Ellen too. I’ve never actually watched her talk show, but every time I see clips from it, she’s always hilarious. Congrats to the both of them, may they have a long life of scissoring each other. Portia, if you come back over to the dark side…I’ll be waitin.

In some positive black news (that just feels weird typin it), Master P is creating his own cable network channel!! I KNOW, I SAID IT WAS POSITIVE DAMMIT JUST WAIT! It is goin to be called the Better Black Television channel or BBTV for those 18 year olds at a 1^st grade readin level. It is poised to be an alternative to BET (seeee, I told you it was positive!). Honestly, Chinese television would be a better alternative to BET. I guess Master P has already begun filming shows and is currently tryin to find a channel to acquire or somethin technical like that. Either way, I’m excited to see blacks on tv outside of COPS, America’s Most Wanted, and BET….o and Cheaters (but the white people be just as crazy on that show).






This is why BET is so fucked up:













The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!