Showing posts with label Tony Romo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tony Romo. Show all posts
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Jessica and Romo finished
Sad news in the Romo/Simpson camp. I guess they dunzo. He broke up with her last Thursday before her birthday. Talk about grimey. Didn’t even try to buy her that one last birthday gift. Bet he had some “one last birthday sex” with her though. Though there are reports that Jessica’s ex, John Mayer, may be to blame. I guess John has still been textin Jess from time to time and now since he’s single he has been goin a bit too far. You know how you always hit up your ex-girl with no intentions of gettin back with her, but you just fuck with her cause you know you can? Start textin shit like “remember when I made you cuss when I went too deep?” or “you lucky we ain’t at a hotel party…I’d whisper in your ear to meet me in the bathroom and your boo wouldn’t even know.” Anyways, I hope this forces Jessica to lose all the extra “comfort” weight she has gained since datin Romo because then I’ll feel more comfortable inviting her over for dinner and not worry about her eatin a huge meal then fallin asleep. As for Romo, maybe he’ll lose all the retarded weight he’s been carryin and actually perform better this December and take my Cowboys to the Super Bowl and win!!!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Romo gets a ring...not the one he wants
Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson might be gettin engaged. Is this really interesting? Not in the slightest. But good for Jess. She has no career, she’s let herself go, and the only thing left for her to do is marry a rich Texan. But being a dumb blonde, she found one that isn’t dying anytime soon.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Hurry up and buy!!!
No politics today…kinda. Well, ah fuck it. Tis’ the season right? I should be watchin the RNC but I have no cable, and I don’t need to hear anymore lies. Plus, from the excerpts I read from speeches…I think the Republicans are tryin to throw this election. I mean, instead of them tryin to give a compelling reason why a non-Republican should vote for McCain-Palin, they’re speakin more like they are talkin to just follow Republican friends. For instance, Huckabee said this in his speech tonight:” John McCain is a man with the character and stubborn kind of integrity that I want in a president.” Stubborn? Last time we had a stubborn president we were stuck in a war with no exit strategy. Or even better, an excerpt from Mitt Romney’s speech:
” Last week, the Democratic convention talked about change. But what do you think? Is Washington now, liberal or conservative? Let me ask you some questions.
Is a Supreme Court decision liberal or conservative that awards Guantanamo terrorists with constitutional rights? It's liberal.
Is a government liberal or conservative that puts the interests of the teachers union ahead of the needs of our children? It's liberal.
Is a Congress liberal or conservative that stops nuclear power plants and off-shore drilling, making us more and more dependent on Middle Eastern tyrants? It's liberal.
Is government spending, putting aside inflation, liberal or conservative if it doubles since 1980? It's liberal.”
Um Mitt, you do know that McCain (according to most real conservatives) is a very liberal Republican? Where's the change?
Ok, last political news. This is news to me, but some of ya’ll may already know. Mrs. McCain is a pill popper. Wanna know what makes that story worse? She stole pills from a medical-aid charity that she was the head of. Wanna know how we can make this story worse? She used the names of her employees in order to get prescriptions. HAHAHA, this can’t get any worse, right? Just before someone blew the whistle and brought it all to light, Old Johnny made a few phone calls in Washington to cover it all up. When that failed, they worked to make Cindy look like a victim and a stronger woman for battling it. McCain is a politician. He’s been doing it before Alaska was even a state. The man has experience. He is the government that we’ve been using for the past 20 years. He is American politics. Maybe the older generation likes this kinda shit, because they’re used to it. But for us young folk, this shit ain’t gonna fly. If you vote Republican this November, kill yourself.
FUN TIMEEEEEEE!!!
David Spade is the father of a Playboy Playmate’s newborn. That goes to show, that humor is everythin. That’s why I do this blog…I’m hoping some hot model will find me extremely funny and have sex with me.
What do you do when you get cut from a team? Take the bags of the person who took your spot, duh!! It appears that Tatum Bell was cut in the place of Rudi Johnson for the Detroit Lions’ running back position. When Johnson returned to his locker, he found his Gucci bags missin. The bags were eventually returned with all the contents missin. When Bell was questioned, he claimed that he thought it was a parting gift from the Lions, lol.
In other futbol American news (I sometimes speak in Spanish to get all the mamicitas hot), it is rumored that Tony Romo is playin his girlfriend’s new country CD in the locker room and annoyin the shit out of the 300+ lb black men that he calls his offensive line. My suggestion is he cut that shit out immediately before the next hit he listens to takes his breath away (literally). I hope Ms. Simpson stays away from any important games this year….for her sake.
You know your life sucks if Lindsey Lohan is giving you advice. You know the country is in trouble when her advice is the best Palin’s received. She’s prolly the best political advisor on the McCain-Palin ticket. LiLo wrote on her blog today about how parents should talk to their kids about sex, teenage pregnancy, and the risks involved. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Well I guess she would know firsthand, so who better to dish the advice on unprotected sex?
Speakin of sex, Californication star, David Duchvony, has admitted himself in for rehab for an addiction to sex. Hahahaha, what a loser. You make a show about sex and then you become addicted? It’s called acting Dave…you made a show about aliens but you didn’t walk around with tin foil on your head! Maybe that’s why HBO turned down my idea about using real coke during the filming of this season’s Entourage (which starts on SUNDAY BABBBBY!!!)
Like Glengarry Glen Ross?
The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
” Last week, the Democratic convention talked about change. But what do you think? Is Washington now, liberal or conservative? Let me ask you some questions.
Is a Supreme Court decision liberal or conservative that awards Guantanamo terrorists with constitutional rights? It's liberal.
Is a government liberal or conservative that puts the interests of the teachers union ahead of the needs of our children? It's liberal.
Is a Congress liberal or conservative that stops nuclear power plants and off-shore drilling, making us more and more dependent on Middle Eastern tyrants? It's liberal.
Is government spending, putting aside inflation, liberal or conservative if it doubles since 1980? It's liberal.”
Um Mitt, you do know that McCain (according to most real conservatives) is a very liberal Republican? Where's the change?
Ok, last political news. This is news to me, but some of ya’ll may already know. Mrs. McCain is a pill popper. Wanna know what makes that story worse? She stole pills from a medical-aid charity that she was the head of. Wanna know how we can make this story worse? She used the names of her employees in order to get prescriptions. HAHAHA, this can’t get any worse, right? Just before someone blew the whistle and brought it all to light, Old Johnny made a few phone calls in Washington to cover it all up. When that failed, they worked to make Cindy look like a victim and a stronger woman for battling it. McCain is a politician. He’s been doing it before Alaska was even a state. The man has experience. He is the government that we’ve been using for the past 20 years. He is American politics. Maybe the older generation likes this kinda shit, because they’re used to it. But for us young folk, this shit ain’t gonna fly. If you vote Republican this November, kill yourself.
FUN TIMEEEEEEE!!!
David Spade is the father of a Playboy Playmate’s newborn. That goes to show, that humor is everythin. That’s why I do this blog…I’m hoping some hot model will find me extremely funny and have sex with me.
What do you do when you get cut from a team? Take the bags of the person who took your spot, duh!! It appears that Tatum Bell was cut in the place of Rudi Johnson for the Detroit Lions’ running back position. When Johnson returned to his locker, he found his Gucci bags missin. The bags were eventually returned with all the contents missin. When Bell was questioned, he claimed that he thought it was a parting gift from the Lions, lol.
In other futbol American news (I sometimes speak in Spanish to get all the mamicitas hot), it is rumored that Tony Romo is playin his girlfriend’s new country CD in the locker room and annoyin the shit out of the 300+ lb black men that he calls his offensive line. My suggestion is he cut that shit out immediately before the next hit he listens to takes his breath away (literally). I hope Ms. Simpson stays away from any important games this year….for her sake.
You know your life sucks if Lindsey Lohan is giving you advice. You know the country is in trouble when her advice is the best Palin’s received. She’s prolly the best political advisor on the McCain-Palin ticket. LiLo wrote on her blog today about how parents should talk to their kids about sex, teenage pregnancy, and the risks involved. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Well I guess she would know firsthand, so who better to dish the advice on unprotected sex?
Speakin of sex, Californication star, David Duchvony, has admitted himself in for rehab for an addiction to sex. Hahahaha, what a loser. You make a show about sex and then you become addicted? It’s called acting Dave…you made a show about aliens but you didn’t walk around with tin foil on your head! Maybe that’s why HBO turned down my idea about using real coke during the filming of this season’s Entourage (which starts on SUNDAY BABBBBY!!!)
Like Glengarry Glen Ross?
The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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