Mariah might get bigger

I hear Mariah’s preggers…don’t care. Just give us some bigggg booobies!!!

Women pregnant with wrong embryo

I don’t know what Carolyn is so upset about…her boobs look fantastic!!! I wouldn’t mind milking those for a week. Ohhhh my soul is doomed. Anyways, that’s totally crazy. Glad they decided to keep the baby…can’t imagine how the mom is gonna feel once she has to give it away. This is why I’m goin old school with my methods. Instead of In Vitro, it’s gonna come Out PeenHole and get her preggers. The best part is the end when Kiran tries to see some good in the situation and The Savages look at her like “you dumb bitch. We wanna be pregnant with our own baby!”

Who are you? And what do you do?

I hate when irrelevant guys got hot chicks preggers. Like this fag named Scott Disick. Even his name sounds like a fuckin dweeb. Google his name, find somethin positive about him. Hell, look at this banner from a “fan” made site:

OH YES, that’s the bitch he got preggers. FUCK HIS AND MY LIFE. I love a fat ass but I didn’t really wanna deal with a blonde Kardashians so my sights were set on Kourtney. BOOM! Did you see a bird just drop? Now her ovaries are ruined…And the family is happy for her? Talk about settin the bar low.

Like Jim would say: "Smmmmokin'!!!"

Jim Carrey (you know that international funny man) is gonna be a granddaddy soon. I didn’t even know he had a child but it appears he has a 21-year old daughter who is smokin hot. And she is about to have her first child with her rocker fiancé, numb nuts. Lol, just kiddin. Congrats to the whole family.

Jim and his lovely daughter

The gift that keeps on giving

Pregnant women with already huge fake boobs are like the best thing on Earth. Who woulda thought that fake boobs could grow even more? Before you know it I’ma have to prune my plastic house plants. Oh, that’s Kendra Wilkerson if you didn’t recognize.

Man and pregnant wife swim to safety

I’m so thoroughly confused. Are these people American? Why didn’t they flee to an Embassy? Why are they scared? Who goes to Mexico lookin for work? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Thanks a lot former administration. Shit has gotten so bad that Americans leave America and go to Mexico for work. I can see it now, bunch of gringos standin at the Depot de Casa asking people if they need help. Piling up in the back of pickup trucks. That’s super sad. Anyways, where the hell is their family and friends? I’m kinda shocked that they have no help whatsoever, are fearin for their lives while on the American side of the border, and they are American citizens.

Adriana Lima is finished

And now for some horrific news. Adriana Lima, the VS model who got married to Mr. South Park aka Dot For Eyes aka Marko Jaric, is…sigh. This is tough. I can’t even look at her the same any more. Let’s put it this way, I hope the offspring takes after the mom rather than the dad. Yeah, she’s confirmed it too. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. At least Rosa Acosta is still available (who? You’ll see). On the plus side, can't wait to see her tits swell.

Mel Gibson is too rich to go to Hell

Congrats to Mel Gibson and his new girlfriend…you guessed it, she’s preggers. I mean what did you expect from a devout Catholic. He doesn’t believe in birth control…oh no. He obviously believes in premarital sex tho! For a man that built his own church, I'm glad to see he takes his religion seriously.

Jenna Jameson's pregnancy is like throwin a hotdog down a hallway

Here is a pregnant Jenna Jameson, and she looks beautiful. Well, as beautiful as an ex porn star would look. It’s prolly gonna be one of the easiest births ever; that baby is just gonna slide right out. Jenna will prolly put the baby back in and pop it out again just because. But in all seriousness, glad that she put some weight back on…she was lookin done off.