Mel Gibson is too rich to go to Hell

Congrats to Mel Gibson and his new girlfriend…you guessed it, she’s preggers. I mean what did you expect from a devout Catholic. He doesn’t believe in birth control…oh no. He obviously believes in premarital sex tho! For a man that built his own church, I'm glad to see he takes his religion seriously.

Mel Gibson shows off new boo...

Here are Mel Gibson and his new boo Oksana Grigorieva. Um, for 39 she doesn’t look that bad. Mel is like 53 or somethin like that and I figured at that age he’d go for somethin a bit young and taut but it appears he wants to keep it respectable...I guess. Must be nice being a billionaire.

Mel Gibson needs to hire pirates

Hulk needs to take a cue from Mel Gibson who is about to have the most costliest divorce ever. First, Mel already got a new boo, Oksana Pochepa.

Ew, this chick ain’t got no alibi. Mel needs to step up his game. Second, Mel’s worth is totaled to be at $1 billion dollars. Factor in no pre-nup (married before he was famous) and California common law, which states she gets half, and it looks like Ex-Mrs. Gibson will be walkin away with $500 million. That’s a muthafuckin pay day. I need to have my people contact her people…see if I can catch her on the rebound. That’s kinda crazy that he has to give up half a billion to her. I’m not sayin she doesn’t deserve it, because she does. She was by his side for 28 years, popped out 7 kids for him, she’s entitled to half. But that’s still a lot of money to part with. Half a billion. Even after the divorce, that nigga will still be richer than Somalia.

Mel Gibson's wife files for divorce

That racist prick is worth almost a billion dollars? Must be fuckin nice. What really bothers me tho is how nonchalant (wow, did I spell that right on the first try?) Harvey Levin is about the marriage and divorce. Like “eh, they were married for 28 years, that’s pretty good.” “The marriage ran its course.” Like whoa, is that how we look at marriages now? Now I’m not naïve, I know marriages by today’s standards are more like passing events rather than lifelong changes. But it still kinda stings to hear someone dismiss it as such. Like a good parent doesn’t normally tell their child Santa doesn’t exist…you kinda just let them grow out of it. Harvey didn’t give me the chance to grow out of believing in marriages and that sucks. Anyways, I feel bad for the 7 children (neither can claim it was a sex-less marriage lol) that have to deal with this. 28 years? It’s sad that even $900 million won’t fix this. I’m never gettin married, it’s a hopeless belief (except for Jet$on, you two will be just fine…just fine).