She needs her own video game...

If my video editing skills were great, you already know where I would take this…

Time to go hard!

Yoooooooo, how’s it hanging? It should be hangin at all on Werk-N-Jerk Wednesdays!!! OWWWWWWWWWWW!

Brasilian student expelled and reinstated...stupid

Ok, I don’t understand why this is news. ANYWHERE!! It shouldn’t be news in Brasil and it certainly shouldn’t be news in America. So she wore a short dress…in Brasil. That’s like a black man gettin arrested in Africa for being black. It’s the fuckin norm out there! I guess her actions in class (hiking up her skirt, twirling around on a pole (why is there a pole on campus? Lamp post maybe?) ) are what got her expelled. Obviously the school doesn’t want her practicing for work while on campus. This just goes to show how bored I am with the world, that I’m even discussing non events. Sigh.

Damnnn, a whole week

I'm not dead, just busy...see ya in a few

Traveling again...

Argggh, I’m headin out to Vegas for work today. Sooooo, I hope you’re jealous. I don’t know where I’m really goin with this intro…except Splaboos.com is comin soon. Oh, and Alicia Keys is sooo fine, that if I was a woman I would go lesbian for her. But I’m not a woman. So I’m in luck. I think.

Do you know what time it is?

It's 09:09:09 on 09/09/09.......death to everyone!!!!*


*Except those on military time and not in PST.

Time out thurdays in affect

Well well well. Thursday is upon us. Almost the end of July, which for some people means the ending of summer. What does that mean for us? Nothin…just one more day left in the week. Muhahahahahaha!!!

Flying tampons for those "light" days

And now for some news from around the world: I have no clue what the hell is going on, but I figured showerin a beach with tampons is funny and good. Good because nobody likes bloody sheets…eh, I tried. Ok ok, how bout thank goodness the tampons didn’t hit the water? No? Ok, I’m done.

Thirsty Thursday means start drinkin now!

Um, what to start off with? Um…how about: The Rant Is Due Muthfucka!!! Switch it up a bit.

Ko, it's anohter wondreful day!

Hey hey! It’s Tuesday. And I’m hyper dyslexic. Just misspellin words left and right…thank goodness for spell check.

WIlliam Shatner on Conan

Oh God, I’d love to give her the bird, the two, and the third leg...owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Anyways, I too find it extremely ridiculous that William Shatner couldn’t do the Vulcan hand sign. I’ma ask my roomie if Shatner ever did it on the show because I find it hard to believe that he not once was able to perform such an easy movement of the fingers. He was prolly too drunk.

Man and pregnant wife swim to safety

I’m so thoroughly confused. Are these people American? Why didn’t they flee to an Embassy? Why are they scared? Who goes to Mexico lookin for work? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Thanks a lot former administration. Shit has gotten so bad that Americans leave America and go to Mexico for work. I can see it now, bunch of gringos standin at the Depot de Casa asking people if they need help. Piling up in the back of pickup trucks. That’s super sad. Anyways, where the hell is their family and friends? I’m kinda shocked that they have no help whatsoever, are fearin for their lives while on the American side of the border, and they are American citizens.

Words of inspiration

"Today is a new day. Yesterday was an old one" ~ The Tenant

La Cucaracha

I felt 10 lbs lighter after the load I dumped on you yesterday…no, I’m not talkin bout reenacting a Notorious B.I.G. skit, I’m talkin bout the 20 posts I dropped. Like Weezy in the recording studio, I’ma beast! I wish the Mexican family next door would let me party with them and smash the piñata. That mariachi is such great music to drink and sing along to.

I'm all up in the guts

Finally, I can relax. Roommate is gone to Miami for the weekend. Last night was a fashion show at USC…and I only fuck with Top Models that give model top (J.R. Writer). Tonight, stayin sober to allow my liver to recover. Tomorrow, stayin sober. Sunday, stayin sober. I’m the gizzard wizard!

Winding down

I can’t wait till the day I reveal myself to be a 30-somethin Caucasian lesbian. It’s gonna throw ya’ll for a loop. Tyra gonna invite me to her show and ask me stupid questions like “What makes you comfortable with usin the ‘N’ word so much?” And my reply to her will be “Tyra, I’ma tells you like I tell my bitches. Don’t watch me, watch TV.” This of course doesn’t make any sense whatsoever but will throw everyone off my back for a minute. OSCARS! That’s my plug, now where is my Academy Award for Best Blog in a Motion Picture?

Too late to be typing

I don't know what to put today, except that it's time for me to

Free Michael Vick!

I can kill baby chinchillas and make a fur coat outta them, but if I kill a dog that I trained for sport I go to jail? Fuckin white people.

Let's end this month right

You ever take a shit that smelled so bad, you forget that it came from your rotten ass? You think to yourself, “damn, someone fucked up the bathroom. Oh wait, that was me.” One time I took a shit that was so foul, I woke up 5 mins later. Yeah, that’s nasty.

Play it 5 times for the proper effect

I don’t know why I’m makin this girl anymore famous than she needs to be. Damn drunken house parties. I blame CL and the twins for this shit. It’s sooooo cold in the D. Lol.