Ronaldo ditches Madrid for Paris

Good news Manchester United Fans!!!!!! It appears right after being traded, Ronaldo celebrated the best way he knew how, and that was by clubbin it up in LA. And guess who he was with? Parasite Hilton…I really gotta stop callin her that, she’s prolly a sweet person with a horrible disease. Anyways, reports have come in that Ronaldo and Hilton were in full make out session and he ended up back at her place for the night. All this means is that Ronaldo will become horribly sick and end up suckin next season. OHHHH WAIT, we’re talkin bout Cristiano Ronaldo. I thought we were talkin bout St. Ronaldo the Priest with his own TV reality show – “So you think you’re holier than a priest?” (on BBC, check your local listings). Then everythin is just fine. Ronaldo is no stranger to prostitutes and sex, so I’m pretty sure he’s caught everythin you could catch and still be an athlete. He’s prolly caught some shit that would kill a normal human but due to his excellent physique and conditioning, it prolly kept him in bed for a weekend. But bein seen with Hilton? That’s still gross. If I looked like Ronaldo, I’d only bang out the finest nuns in the world. Wait, which Ronaldo are we talkin bout again?

Paris Hilton ruins lives

If this doesn’t prove that Paris Hilton has herpes….I don’t know what will. Her new boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt, is seen here sportin a new lip accessory. Is there a chance he had it before Hilton? Yeah, but the only reason Hilton would date him is because she already has it and has nothing to worry about. Keep your peeeeeenis away from the girl.

Paris and Snoop freestyle

I wish I had a sniper bullet to kill myself. Because people like Paris Hilton will always exists. And idiot rappers like Snoop will always exist. So the best option is to kill MYSELF and just let the world continue…on its downward spiral.

Kim Kardashian is more than just booty

I don’t know what it is about Kim Kardashian’s look that is so intriguing to me, but here she is at a fashion show lookin classy with her boo (Reggie Bush). Next to her are the Hilton sisters who look…well, you see them.

Paris Hilton is cold, NSFW

Those things look like they could cut diamonds. And I don’t know why I posted these pics. I guess because I’m wrappin up for the week and didn’t really feel like doin any celebrity bashing. See ya next week!

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
I’m the best blogger alive…fuck what white people like, EVERYONE likes a rant.

One has bumps on her lips, the other has them on her chest

I wish plastic surgery would go wrong. Not really, I don’t mind her flat chest. For some (sick, perverted) people, they like their girls to look like boys with makeup lol. No my beef with Hayden is her choice in clothes. It’s like someone has gotten into mommy’s closet and has yet to grown into the clothes. Sadly, I’d take the saggy tits behind her…wait. For heaven’s sake will someone buy her a dress that doesn’t draw attention to her flat chest? How bout some clothes with sleeves or that cover her shoulders? WHO THE FUCK DRESSES THIS CHILD? Paris, can you please loan her your bra because we know that you aren’t blessed in the chest either but you manage to keep us lookin there.

Paris thinks she can get a tan in Aspen

Paris is usually dressed nicely (for Paris) but I don’t know what the fuck is goin on here. If she was gonna be a leopard at least be a snow leopard and get the shirt in white. The print is lame to begin with and the colors are terrible on her white skin.

Nothing says slutty like a cold sore

Paris Hilton because the Valtrex jokes aren’t really jokes…

Someone bought Cam's pink Bentley

Can you really get mad a P Hilton for doin this?

The pink on pink on pink on pink (if you don’t get what the extra pink is for…think of Paris Hilton last year when exiting cars) is a nice look.

Paris Hilton looks good...oh boy.

Paris Hilton because I’m feelin that dress. Now someone pass me the Valtrex, I’m startin to itch just lookin at these photos.

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

When cute outfits wear ugly girls

What is Paris Hilton wearin? And why am I turned on by the outfit? If this outfit was on any other woman, there would be a mess right now on my computer. For those that haven’t heard (or don’t care), Paris and her boyfriend Benji are done. They are still “good friends” which means they are prolly fuckin with no strings attached. Stay tuned for the reunion. Seriously tho, Paris Hilton doesn’t do it for me. I’m seriously picturing the outfit on another face and body.

Celeb status

Every weekend I become a bit more Hollywood (someone from the east coast needs to save me). Saturday night I went to a club Kress, for the second time, and was thoroughly disappointed. First I had to wait in line. Which I’ve stopped doing in Hollywood now that I got an inside man (pure ego trip too how I show up dumb late (11pm, 11:30ish) and just walk right in (almost, takes about a minute for my boy to answer his phone (and no, I don’t pay) ) ). I guess Paris Hilton was in the club that night and from lookin at the parking lot (in order of hotness: SLR McLaren (which the bouncer called an F1 which almost made me slap his dumbass (but he happened to be 6’5” and like 260+ lbs.)), 2 Gallardos, 2 S8s, a Bentley, a Rolls, and a squad of Escalades) someone(s) famous was in the house that night. I get in, and it was bumpin as usual. Kress has one of the better DJs in Hollywood for sure. But it was a sausage fest-ish. I mean there were girls I coulda talked to but I just felt there were too many dudes just lurkin around. Plus I was moody after standin outside for like half an hour. I did see Dave Mirra when we came out. One of the girls I was with was posing on his Gallardo and I made a joke about her getting in. Then he asked "you want the keys?" Then after talkin to him for a bit, he showed me a picture of his garage on his cell phone. And I STILL didn’t recognize him till I got home and then it hit me. Lmao. Friday night was better (in terms of fun) as we went to Opera (which I’ve been told is hard to get into on a Friday, but whatever, someone fact check that for me). Only problem was the venting in the place. Granted part of it is outdoors (for the smokers), it was dumb fuckin hot in there. First time I needed a napkin to wipe my sweat in a minute (most of the places I go to, you can just stop dancing for a bit and cool right down). My boy said he saw Tyson (yea, Chinese eyes black man) in there, I didn’t and could care less. I saw Lindsey in there (no not Lohan, some cute chick that just turned 22 lol).


Update: Arrrghhhhhhhh, Kanye West was at Kress too. I wish I coulda kicked it with him.

Wrapppp it up

So I think I need to stop viewing as much porn, because it’s starting to affect my personal life. I have caught myself blatantly staring at women’s breast and down their shirts with no regard. When I see a woman with some milk cannons, I have the urge to spit in her mouth, because that’s what dirty bitches like. Imagine my dilemma since my work entails working with elementary school teachers, pretty much MILF county. Lol, but seriously though, I need to make a trip to San Fernando Valley…road trip anyone?

Today is a bit old in news since yesterday I was in San Diego and didn’t have time for a decent post. And a lot of this stuff is fan suggested (can you believe I have fans???). The first up is some kid named Peter Tambakis (click here for his MySpace page)from New Rochelle, NY. He is an R&B singer, who doesn’t sound bad, but he doesn’t sound great. I can’t put a finger on whose style he reminds me off but I think he might be better going the pop route cuz the R&B beats don’t suite him. Lmao, I think I found a description for him: his beats are 3^rd album Dru Hill and his vocals are Color Me Badd. I think all of it is bad lol. Nah, but the lyrics are decent but he needs a new drum kit and piano.

Paris Hilton is running for President. This is a situation where her suicide wouldn’t be enough, because she’s too stupid to do it right. Lol, Paris and the guys at the Funny Or Die website have made a “response” ad to Sen. McCain’s Obama is a celebrity ad in which McCain compares Obama to Paris and Brittney and yada yada…if you haven’t seen the video, look below:

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

In real political news, Sen. Edwards has had an affair.......

Um, well….The only group of people that are easier to rant about besides blacks, are politicians. Lol. Except for Barack...he must be alien. The only issue is the dumb shit they do get covered up quickly, but boy do they do some dumb shit. If I was a politician and I need some ass outside of my marriage, I would go to Canada or Mexico and get an escort or bang some random there. I WOULD NEVER MESS WITH A WOMAN THAT LIVES IN THE SAME COUNTRY I REPRESENT!! That’s like dipping you pen in company ink, when your company is the United States of America. And she wasn’t even that hot….sad. Take a look at her yourself.

Eh, it’s the weekend and I’m tired….so that’s that. Come back Monday after I have found my porn star girlfriend.

Time for me to knock out like this dude:

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!