Pass The A1

Speakin of Em, here is his reaction to Nick Cannon’s reaction to Eminem dissin Mariah.

Lol, sometimes I wonder if this guy is truly off the drugs. I really can’t wait to see what Nick does in retaliation. And I can’t stand that British DJ on Westwood. He’s such a tool. Same tool that made up the A-rab Money Dance for Busta. I wish I was there with him in the studio because after the fifth time he used the word ‘swagga’ I woulda choked him with the headphone cords.

Pass The A1

Another leaked Eminem track, Bagpipes from Baghdad. It’s alright, nothin too special…until we get to the second verse where Eminem calls Nick Cannon a prick and Mariah Carey a whore. As some of you may know, Em and Mariah have some bad blood. Em claimed to have dated Mariah but Mariah bein Mariah denied it. So then Em’s been takin shots at her ever since, even leakin phone messages that she left askin why he never calls her. Well Mariah is married now Em, and you can’t just be takin shots without expectin her lap dog, I mean, her hubby to say somethin. Nick Cannon posted this on his blog:

"I’m taking full action on you Eminem. I don’t know why no one has stood up to your bitch ass yet. But I guess it’s going to take a corny, wack rapping, boy toy from Nickelodeon to set you straight. And trust, I am going to be relentless. Even though I got a lot of other obligations and occupations, you are my new full time job “homey”! As a matter of fact I think you going to bring my wack rhymes out of retirement! That’s right haters; you can thank Eminem because I’m going to start rapping again! LOL Just for him! And don’t forget about the jokes! We coming at you hard body!! Non-stop on your Manic-depressive-Insecure-Maclovin-Nazi- Liza Minelli haircut havin-lookin ass!! [Pause] That’s what I do all day Bitch! So Miss Marshall, I’m going to make you wish you never spoke my name and regret the ungodly things you said about my wife. This is going to be fun! It’s however you want it! Just remember, you did this to yourself! Your legacy has now been tainted from this day forth! You will now be known as the rapper who lost to Corny-ass Nick Cannon!!! "

LMAO. His corny raps are comin back? Fuck. Thanks a lot Marshall. Does this mean Wild’n Out is comin back too? Does this mean the return of Nick Cannon? That’s pure fuckery. If there was one good thing that came out of the Mariah/Nick marriage was that Nick could stop workin and retire. Now the most “hilarious” man alive is back…this actually might be funny considerin they both have the same comedic style.

Nick Cannon's drugs aren't wearing off!!!

Here are Mariah and Nick leaving an IVF clinic (the place where babies are made) on Easter. Well, if the one year of marriage didn’t convince you, then these pics will:

They are really married. Wow. And tryin to have kids. TOGETHER! Super crazy. But um, good for Nick. He definitely landed a sugar mama and I wish I was in his shoes. I can’t wait to become a kept man.

Nick expresses his love

Mariah Carey’s bikini pictures have been makin rounds on the internet but everyone felt the need to put their logo on them, like they were the first ones with the pics or like they took the exclusives. Well here you go, better late than never. Looks like Nick decided to do the most regrettable thing in his life which was cheatin on Christian Milian, then getting dumped by Selita Ebanks but those were erased once he married Mariah because that’s a good look for anybody. Where was I? Oh yeah, he decided to get her name tatted across his back. That’s gonna hurt when they have to use the lasers to remove it…or when he has a child he can name them Mariah. His son, Mariah, will have a hard life.

Mariah and Nick will be Together Forever

Well I guess it’s for real…Mariah and Nick have been together for one year. That’s so crazy. But if it’s possible for a talentless man like Nick to pick up international superstar Mariah Carey, then a blogger can keep dreaming.

Mariah Carey like you've never seen her...

I’ve seen Mariah Carey with fewer clothes on in the Arctic. What gives? Are the baby rumors true? We’ll find out next year I guess. Hey Nick, when you are done with Kevin Ferderline’s book, send it over here. I need to figure out how to knock up the wifey and be set for life.

Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey are married

So I didn’t believe the union of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, and won’t accept it till I see baby squirt guns. Well, I think the time is near. Mariah was seen leavin her LA gyno with smiles on her face and a (alleged) sonogram in her hand. Damn. They really married. 6 months of knowin each other and BAM. Well. Damn. That’s wack. I’m happy for them, but that’s wack. 6 months? Now they pumpin out kids? Mariah clock is tickin, that’s for sure. Nick Cannon wasn’t gonna be any more successful than he was before he married MC. I feel like this just ‘won’t last forever’ (get it? Because MC has a song Make It Last or some shit like that…ah fuck it).

So sacred

Mariah Carey has disclosed that her and Nick didn’t have sex till they got married. Now to the outside and uninformed person, this would seem very lovely and traditional. But that’s what you got me for, to rip into people and expose the bullshit world they live in. How long before these two got married? 1, 2 years? Oh no my brethren. Try 2 months. I’ve had girls hold out for 3 months before lettin me puncture their intestines. 2 months? 2 months Mimi? That’s not holdin out, that’s called bad timing.

I would expect more from Mimi

This is how to not look like a power couple. One person cannot wear a suit and the other person wear leggings. What kinda malarkey is this?

Don't they play dress up for a living?

Now here is a little bit Hollywood Halloween.

Kim Kardashian in a Wonder Woman. I really wonder how she got that entire ass in a tight costume. Yum.

 Mariah and Nick as firefighters. I still can’t believe these two are married. I still need to see kids pop outta MC otherwise I’m thinkin this is the longest Punk’d episode ever.


















 Kendra Wilkinson didn’t dress up. She had no clue what day it was.

Kate Moss the supermodel went as Kate Moss the regular girl. This is frightening.

Aubrey O’Day as a high as hippie. Talk about bein committed to an outfit. Broad looks like she smoked the entire day before gettin into the costume.

Traci and Heidi both went with the classic naughty cop outfit. I must say, I saw a lot of those this weekend and it is an outfit that definitely needs breasts to work. Not huge fake ones, but you can’t be anythin less than a C to it off. That pretty much applies to any classic naughty outfit. If you ain’t naturally blessed, then please get the most expensive push up you can. Or suffer ridicule from guys like me.







The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!