Britney Spears is still bangin...wow

I love Britney and her sad nipples:

Teen Choice Award hotties

Some chicks at the Teen Choice Awards. My eye is on Kimmy K. When she first did the blonde wig, I wasn’t a fan…but damn she looks too damn good now. I’d eat a meal outta that ass.

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Brit Brit in Britain?

Here is Britney Spears for no reason other than I feel like I owe it to her. Seriously, I thought the bitch was a goner in 2007. If somebody said Britney would live to see 2009, I’d bet my house against them. So here’s to Brit for overcomin all the stress and adversity and not ending up with a cardiac arrest due to drug abuse.

Britney Spears....still a MILF

B. Spears lookin pretty healthy. I know it’s Good Friday and there is nothin good about sad nipples, but I digress. The fact she hasn’t had any surgery to get them fixed and she’s happy with the way she is makes it a good example for women everywhere. Nobody is perfect.

Britney Spears walks it out

B. Spears brings in spring with some short shorts...

Next up, Britney Spears the Movie!!!

B. Spears has already contacted Palin and they will create a Cheetos coloring book on the political process. When will I get a deal? I already got a titled picked out “When Nobody’s Watching: A soft-core rouse on society by an anti-social.” Anyways, Spears is signing a $20 million, 3-5 books over the next 10 years deal. Lucky bitch. Glad her life is back on track.

Brit's new pad

Britney Spears is movin again…I swear this broad buys a new home every 1.5 years. Must be nice. The new one costs about $9 milli and we thought the housing market was in a slump. The old one is on sale for about $8 milli and is the home where she had that break down and had to be taken away in an ambulance. I know I always say this when I talk about Spears, but I’m really proud of how she’s (with A LOT of help from pops) turned her life around. I seriously didn’t think she would be alive or well at this time.

Things aren't lookin up for Britney Spears

B Spears is havin some serious nipple issues. I heard of saggy tits, but saggy nips? Life is hard when even your nipples are depressed. Anyways, enjoy?

I can't believe she lasted this long...

I forgot to wish B. Spears a happy 27th birthday. So to make up for it, her are pics of her in NY look all milf-a-licious.

Say no to cheetos and K-Fed

So Britney Spears is “back” as you can see. Most would argue that she never “left”. I mean she spent the last couple years headlining tabloids for us to all see. You have to leave in order to comeback. I guess the proper title was goin to be “Britney Spears comebacks to back to earth and regains her sanity” but that wouldn’t fit. Enjoy the pics of Brit (who looks like she’s goin on 40…see what babies and drugs to you ladies??)

P poppin

So it looks like a Britney Spears Sex Tape or a BSST may be comin out soon. Her ex-beau, Adnan Ghalib, is lookin to sell to the highest bidder. Which usually means Red Light videos will scoop it up, and it will be on the internet within 24 hours. I’m kinda conflicted on this tape. On one hand, I wanna see it…badly. It’s Britney Spears mannnn!!! But it was during her “crazy” period. And if I wanted to watch crazy people have sex, I’d watch Crackheads Gone Wild (that’s a real video, craziest thing I’ve watched in my life). So, I’m hyped but not. Hope he doesn’t get a dime and just releases it regardless.


The Rant Is Due Muthafucka or TRIDM…now I really like that (pronounced tridim, like FIDM)

Use a condom or become a Republican

I coulda made this a super post, but I decided I could use all this ranting to my advantage and get more fans on my Facebook page (can’t believe you bastards still haven’t added me, I should Indian slap you on tv and cry “how could she slap me sir!” lmao).

Welcome back B. Spears. Won her first Moon Man Award and I think she highly deserves it. I was a doubter but look at how well she cleaned up in a year. She should take her good fortune and new lease on life and help other people. I would listen to Britney give an inspirational speech (not really, but I would consider it…if she took me home with her). For the rest of my VMA rant, go here.

Finally heard the entire Katy Perry song this past weekend, and the VMAs prompted me to YouTube the video. Um, yea…I got a new white girl now. First off, the song is actually good. Lyrics, beat, message, and all. I was kinda upset that in the video that she didn’t kiss any girls…total let down. But she definitely has some milk cannons on her. And in the video she wakes up in bed with a black dude. CHA-CHING MUTHAFUCKA! Lol. I really believe that her song is going to make girls more open for having threesomes. My roommate disagrees; he says girls have been kissin girls forever. But see it’s always somethin that has been done, but never really discussed (not while sober). Kinda like anal sex, there were always girls that did it but would hit you with that you gotta be a “special person” bullshit. Now, a girl will let you put it in her ass rather than put it in her mouth, lol. And that’s how I feel threesomes will be. Guys won’t need a wingman to run interference, because she’ll always ask if her friend can come too!!! I love you Katy!!!

Speakin of videos, girls, and threesomes; I saw Ne-Yo’s new video with the always beautiful Gabrielle Union, and the up and coming beauty Lauren London. Now Ms. London, if you’re reading this, you gotta do more than appear in one video/film/tv show per year. You can’t do one music video and say “I’m set, that’s my quota” or do one movie and say the same. You wanna make it big, you gotta be oversaturated to a point. Fire your manager and come roll with me. We’ll make a sex tape, I’ll have you famous in no time lol. (Update: While diggin up a pic of the lovely Laura, I ran across some info that she is engaged to Weezy. That's some real fuckery right there, can someone disprove this for me? I'll try not to drop the radio into the bathtub while I wait for a confirmation)

Attention all future politicians, make sure you don’t go to church because it will come back to haunt you. It appears Palin’s former Pastor wants his 15 minutes of fame and decides to run his mouth about how Palin is a Pentecostal who are known for speakin in tongues and being a bit more literal in their translation of the Bible. Meaning that she won’t be drilling in Alaska because it goes against her beliefs. Obviously the Pastor didn’t look up the definition of “arm candy” lol.

Condoleezza Rice gave a speech about more blacks in the government. Which prompted me to ask, who is she throwin her support behind? Her and Powell (the two token blacks Bush hired) have been awfully quiet…On one hand it would be terrible for them not to see a black president, on the other hand you can’t really bite the party hand that fed you. Mo money, mo problems. That statement didn’t really fit, I just threw it in there just cause it’s my blog.

So Hurricane Ike is about to beat down on Louisiana (ha, pun intended). And the mayor is worried that his people might not be ready to weather the storm after Gustav donkey punched them (ok, I tried a bit too hard with that one, but you try makin a joke with the name Gustav). I say, fuck em. And I can say that, because I’m one earthquake away from becoming an island. But you know what? I knew the risks associated with living here, but I still choose to. This isn’t the first hurricane that they’ve encountered, and it won’t be the last. But if they choose to continue to live there and have their paper maché homes torn down year after year, then what me worry? Why don’t they collect their home insurance money AND MOVE!!!

Possibly the 3rd dumbest person on this show:







The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!! (Whew, this almost got lengthy)

The houseparty

Happy Monday residents!! I had a good weekend. Had some good food, saw girls get wet, then saw them get drunk, then I pulled a Shia LaBeouf. Then I vowed never to do it again (and I really can’t because no car means no work which means I gotta this blogging shit for a living). Then I watched The Dark Knight again and gave verbal (well, more like typed) thrashings on various blog sites that tried to poke holes in the movie. Then I had more great food. Now it’s Monday and I worked from home…..again, lol.

Remember when I used to trash Britney Spears and say she was dun-dun-d-dun? I stand corrected. She has actually picked herself up from rock bottom and acts decent and looks decent too! I really thought she would die or be committed forever. But even if I didn’t have faith in her comeback, I woulda still hit it (for the money), and that offer still stands (straight up) so Brit babe, holla at me.

Well well welll, it looks like we have another exposed rapper in our mist. Rick Ross, the Boss. More like Boss Man (for my WWF, well WWE but when he wrestled it was…o forget it, for my wrestling fans). It appears that Mr. Ricky Ross, known to his mother as William Roberts, used to work as a prision guard for the Florida Department of Corrections . He took this job after graduating high school. Really Rick? Nah fuck that, you don’t deserve that name. Really William? Like, you and A-Korny need to beat it. It’s one thing to have a clean past (we know how record labels create “thug” rappers) but when you busted, you busted. Don’t try denyin that shit, cuz that really makes you look suspect. Just accept the fact that The Somking Gun revoked your hood pass and keep it movin.

Looks like your favorite blogger is running for President too!! I figured, with 2 black people running, it would increase our chances of victory!!!!!

So while my wife to be was banging (ugh, I just threw up in my mouth thinkin about it) ole’ frenchie. I set my sites on another hot Spanish chick name Sofia Vergara. Now there is a new Vergara in town. Star of the Venezuelan version of Desperate Housewives – Gabriela Vergara. You don’t need to know Spanish to describe her….biting your knuckles till it bleeds is universally spoken by men around the world. Here are more photos of my mistress.






I will start cappin off my blogs with random videos I’ve posted on FB before, but still find hilarious enough to watch again. So first up – my Korean roommate age 5:


The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!






Don't sue me: Rick Ross images are property of the people that wrote all over the pictures, and the images of Ms. Vergara is property of H para Hombres Magazine