Gabrielle Union to start the weekend

Gabrielle Union because she is my FAVORITE kind of chocolate. I personally think she’s hotter than Beyonce, but in my circle of friends that’s blasphemy.

I’m done, have a good weekend.
The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Tyler Perry's Madea goes to Iraq

Madea is becomin the black Ernest. Seriously, she (he, whatever) is two movies away from goin straight to DVD. I mean let’s first look at Ernest’s record. I remember “Ernest saves Christmas” and “Ernest Goes to Camp”…hell how could I forget “Ernest Goes to Jail” it’s the reason for this post. But then there was “Ernest Goes to Africa”, “Slam dunk Ernest”, and “Ernest in the Army”. 10 movies total. Ridiculous. Now Madea is fallin into the same category. Does Tyler Perry think because he owns his own studios that he can just push this shit out to the theatres? My president is black; I don’t have to settle for bullshit black movies anymore just to see Vanessa Williams, Gabrielle Union, or Sanaa Lathan. OR NIA LONG…I miss her so much. Anyways, Tyler Perry, enough with the Madea bullshit. Keep it movin, add a new character to your hustle, and start employin more black actors. Thank you.

Hot chocolate

Here is my choice for black beauty (watch out cuz the pics are a bit NSFW). Where the hell is Ms. Union at? She needs to stop makin lame videos with NeYo and start makin home videos with me. Or take her ass back up to the big screen. I prefer the second option.

Use a condom or become a Republican

I coulda made this a super post, but I decided I could use all this ranting to my advantage and get more fans on my Facebook page (can’t believe you bastards still haven’t added me, I should Indian slap you on tv and cry “how could she slap me sir!” lmao).

Welcome back B. Spears. Won her first Moon Man Award and I think she highly deserves it. I was a doubter but look at how well she cleaned up in a year. She should take her good fortune and new lease on life and help other people. I would listen to Britney give an inspirational speech (not really, but I would consider it…if she took me home with her). For the rest of my VMA rant, go here.

Finally heard the entire Katy Perry song this past weekend, and the VMAs prompted me to YouTube the video. Um, yea…I got a new white girl now. First off, the song is actually good. Lyrics, beat, message, and all. I was kinda upset that in the video that she didn’t kiss any girls…total let down. But she definitely has some milk cannons on her. And in the video she wakes up in bed with a black dude. CHA-CHING MUTHAFUCKA! Lol. I really believe that her song is going to make girls more open for having threesomes. My roommate disagrees; he says girls have been kissin girls forever. But see it’s always somethin that has been done, but never really discussed (not while sober). Kinda like anal sex, there were always girls that did it but would hit you with that you gotta be a “special person” bullshit. Now, a girl will let you put it in her ass rather than put it in her mouth, lol. And that’s how I feel threesomes will be. Guys won’t need a wingman to run interference, because she’ll always ask if her friend can come too!!! I love you Katy!!!

Speakin of videos, girls, and threesomes; I saw Ne-Yo’s new video with the always beautiful Gabrielle Union, and the up and coming beauty Lauren London. Now Ms. London, if you’re reading this, you gotta do more than appear in one video/film/tv show per year. You can’t do one music video and say “I’m set, that’s my quota” or do one movie and say the same. You wanna make it big, you gotta be oversaturated to a point. Fire your manager and come roll with me. We’ll make a sex tape, I’ll have you famous in no time lol. (Update: While diggin up a pic of the lovely Laura, I ran across some info that she is engaged to Weezy. That's some real fuckery right there, can someone disprove this for me? I'll try not to drop the radio into the bathtub while I wait for a confirmation)

Attention all future politicians, make sure you don’t go to church because it will come back to haunt you. It appears Palin’s former Pastor wants his 15 minutes of fame and decides to run his mouth about how Palin is a Pentecostal who are known for speakin in tongues and being a bit more literal in their translation of the Bible. Meaning that she won’t be drilling in Alaska because it goes against her beliefs. Obviously the Pastor didn’t look up the definition of “arm candy” lol.

Condoleezza Rice gave a speech about more blacks in the government. Which prompted me to ask, who is she throwin her support behind? Her and Powell (the two token blacks Bush hired) have been awfully quiet…On one hand it would be terrible for them not to see a black president, on the other hand you can’t really bite the party hand that fed you. Mo money, mo problems. That statement didn’t really fit, I just threw it in there just cause it’s my blog.

So Hurricane Ike is about to beat down on Louisiana (ha, pun intended). And the mayor is worried that his people might not be ready to weather the storm after Gustav donkey punched them (ok, I tried a bit too hard with that one, but you try makin a joke with the name Gustav). I say, fuck em. And I can say that, because I’m one earthquake away from becoming an island. But you know what? I knew the risks associated with living here, but I still choose to. This isn’t the first hurricane that they’ve encountered, and it won’t be the last. But if they choose to continue to live there and have their paper maché homes torn down year after year, then what me worry? Why don’t they collect their home insurance money AND MOVE!!!

Possibly the 3rd dumbest person on this show:







The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!! (Whew, this almost got lengthy)