Olympic hopeful opens up brothel

He should move to America, where they will welcome him with open arms. That’s capitalism at its finest. You don’t got the money? Raise it anyway you can. I was scared that HE was workin in a brothel but if he just owns one, then what is the harm? Especially since prostitution is LEGAL in New Zealand I don’t see how he’s gonna bring “shame” or “disgrace” to the sport. Taekwondo was originally created by women who were tired of gettin raped by the men in their village and wanted to fight them off. So taekwondo isn’t even honorable martial arts to begin with. Lol, just kiddin. I don’t want some 30th degree black belt to kick my ass because I’m smearin the history of his occupation. Anyways, if the boy raises the money and he’s nice with the footwork, then he should be able to go to the Olympics and compete. Chances are after makin some real money, he’s not gonna give two shits about headin to the Olympics. He’ll buy all the gold (and platinum) that he wants.

But you're like a bitch with no ass...

Tired, so we keepin it short…but that hardly ever holds true, so we’ll see.

What the fuck is Walk Racing (or Race Walking, whatever)? Fuckin Olympics man, they make anythin sport. Did the Olympic committee add this sport during Bring Your Children to Work day? Did someone notice kids running in the hall and yell “Hey you guys, walk!!!” And then watched them speed walk instead and said “Hm, that would be an excellent event to add to the Olympics.” Have you seen adults competitively speed walk? It looks like they got a shitty booty. You know the walk you get when you take a shit, but later your ass starts to sweat so you get that nasty itch? Lol. The women’s asses look cute but very funny when watchin this. And why ARE they wearin bikinis while speed walkin?


Rihanna is broke. According to her former business manager who was promptly fired after she told Rihanna she only had 20K to her name. It’s a good thing she has Chris Brown as her sugar daddy. It appears 5-head isn’t as successful as she appears. Her albums aren’t really sellin, but her singles are doin well. This doesn’t translate well at Def Jam who apparently hasn’t funded an album for her to this date (it appears her manager is putting in some real work tryin to keep the S.S. Rhianna from sinkin). With only 20K, that bitch better send out a real S.O.S otherwise she gonna have to Take A Bow as her curtains come to a close lol (I’m nice with my word play, like Cam’ron).

Another black movie star bites the dust, and gets a steady paycheck by moving to the small screen. Lawrence Fishburne, you know The Matrix, will be joining the cast of CSI in order for them to maintain their black quota.

Meg Fox on the set of Transformers 2 playin with her boobs.

You’re welcome.

You’d think with Jennifer Aniston’s strong ass arms, she’d be able to hold on to a man….lmao. She’s pitiful….but I’d still hit.

RIP LeRoi Moore of the DMB; also know to you queers as the Dave Matthews Band. I’m sorry, that was an unfair shot. Dave Matthews prolly makes great music…..just nothin I’ve heard yet.

Remember when white girls miraculously developed asses back in like ’01? I think the unicorns have died out. I mean lookin at bikini shots for some celebrities…it’s kinda disgusting. And I don’t expect my white girls to have a donk…no, that’s an added bonus. I just want it tight and round, like a stripper’s (the ones that don’t have c-section scars). Examples of nasty bottoms is Kate Beckinsale (who I still think is hot), Kristen Bell (who I thought had a butt, but I guess spandex can be TRULY deceiving), Kelly Brook, and Mrs. Borat (Isla Fisher). I don’t know who has a better ass, her or her husband lol. These pics are kinda safe for work (bikinis), but are not for people with weak stomachs. Yuck.

So this was a year for havin twins...Angie, J Lo, someone else….and now Ricky Martin. Latin flamer has adopted twins from a surrogate mother because the thought of him insertin his penis in a woman made him vomit blood violently. I mean seriously, adopted from a surrogate mother? That doesn’t even make sense...either you adopt kids or you put your sperm in another egg and place it in a surrogate mother. Instead he said, “Hey pregnant bitch, I’m takin yo kids.”

Tribute to the Unicorn:


LMAO, bonus video because this was too funny. That baby is gonna a fucked up view of women in society:






The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Lights out for some, but not me

RIP Bernie Mac. That’s that bullshit man. A muthafucka that rapes little girls gets to live out his days in prison, but a guy that brings nothin but laughter and uplifts spirits dies from pneumonia? No fuckin sense whatsoever. That nigga was a true King Of Comedy. How people still dyin at age 50….FROM PNEUMONIA??? This isn’t the Dark Ages….I bet it was the Democratic Party that poisoned him, so that Obama wouldn’t choose him for VP on some Head Of State type shit. If you can’t tell, I’m more angry than sad about this shit. Wackness.

And RIP Issac Hayes, creator of the theme song "Shaft" but mostly know by our generation as the voice of "Chef" on South Park. Tragic weekend.

And we already have our first Olympic deaths. It appears a China man has stabbed to death 2 Americans before leaping to his death in China. Damn son, you couldn’t wait till the torch got lit? This someone busted they ass on the hurdles? Till Yao got dunked on by Kobe?? I guess the people that were stabbed were relatives of the US Volleyball Team coach. I think China should offer us the gold by default.

A Nigerian official spent roughly $4 million on hiring a witch doctor to kill his rival. Well for starters, if niggas got $4 mill to spend on voodoo, then I need to move back! Obviously this story has some holes in it. Cuz ain’t no Nigerian parting with $4 million dollars, we just too stingy. Second of all, it woulda been a lot cheaper and cost effect to pay some hoodlums $100K to get the job done. I do believe he did hire a witch doctor….you can take the Nigerian out of the bush, but you can’t take the bush outta the Nigerian lmao (all my American reads are like “what the fuck is he talkin about”. That’s why you need more African friends, to help you translate lol).

Georgia is in a “state of war” with Russia. (I know all my southerners are sayin “damn, I hope Russia don’t destroy Atlanta, I still haven’t been to Magic City”). But for those that passed the 6^th grade, it seems like Russia has been the aggressor, bombing civilian homes. Where is World Peace Keeper, USA, at this time? I guess Bush (from his plush, highly secure, good air pumpin suite in China) issued a statement that everybody should stop fightin so that they can watch America kick everyone’s ass in the Olympics. I mean, that’s the equivalent of you and your sibling fighting and your mom yells from downstairs “Now now kids, play nicely”. Did you stop fightin? Nope. Not until someone started cryin and when a country cries, everyone loses (what’s Georgia’s nuclear program lookin like? O you say they don’t have one? That’s like a mugger robbing you with a knife…nigga this ain’t the 70s, if you want this cash you better flash that steel. Their program may not be as proflic, but we don’t really have them in our radar either.)

Here is some bewildering news (yea, it’s so crazy I had to use the craziest word in my vocabulary to describe it). Clay Aiken is gonna be a daddy!!! Whhhhhoaaaaa nelllllllllllllllllllllly. But the mother is actually a woman!!!!!!!! Errrrrrrrrr?!?! I thought he was gay? Well, let’s see here. His wife’s name is James (Jaymes) Foster, she’s 50 years old, she looks like a dude with a wig, and she was artificially inseminated. Yep, he’s gay. Everythin is status quo, whew. Lmao.

Welcome to LA Manny Ramirez, glad you ditched that bitch ass team called the Red Sox. Huh? What you say? You wanna be a Yankee now? Why? To punish the Red Sox? Well come give me a hug, because we are family now!! I guess you came here to get the Torre experience before you moved back to the East. Good strategy bro, good strategy.

"I ain't scared of you motherfuckers":

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Hey don’t sue me: The picture of Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes is from AP photoshare, Jaymes and Clay was on Google, so sue them and Manny’s pic I got from FanNation.com.