Manny Ramirez does drugs

Manny Ramirez of the L.A. Dodgers was suspended for 50 games for testing positive for banned substances in the MLB. I’ve heard that the drug was some kind of estrogen athletes on steroids take to balance out the excess testosterone. I’ve also heard that it was some drug to increase sexual performance. I don’t care either way; this is good news because the MLB is puttin their money where their mouth is. And I’m glad they made an example of a high profile player. Hopefully other athletes will get in line and stop bulkin up and bring baseball back to the boring sport that it once was. Why would I go to a Dodger’s game to see a homerun bein popped once an inning? I wanna see more ‘pop fly’s that make me get excited in the anticipation but then let down once it’s caught for an out. Same feelin like going to a hole in the wall strip club.

Red Soxs for pinstripes...with a stop to LaLa land inbetween

So Manny still wants to be a Yank…no surprise there, a loyal Red Sox is an oxymoron. Or is it just a plain moron? I never get into these rivalries because to me, if the players don’t care, why should I? A Bill will become a Dolphin, a…what are some NBA rivalries? Or hockey? Only real rivalries are college ones, because students can’t get traded to another school like that. Professional sports is just like professional wrestling, all for show.

Lights out for some, but not me

RIP Bernie Mac. That’s that bullshit man. A muthafucka that rapes little girls gets to live out his days in prison, but a guy that brings nothin but laughter and uplifts spirits dies from pneumonia? No fuckin sense whatsoever. That nigga was a true King Of Comedy. How people still dyin at age 50….FROM PNEUMONIA??? This isn’t the Dark Ages….I bet it was the Democratic Party that poisoned him, so that Obama wouldn’t choose him for VP on some Head Of State type shit. If you can’t tell, I’m more angry than sad about this shit. Wackness.

And RIP Issac Hayes, creator of the theme song "Shaft" but mostly know by our generation as the voice of "Chef" on South Park. Tragic weekend.

And we already have our first Olympic deaths. It appears a China man has stabbed to death 2 Americans before leaping to his death in China. Damn son, you couldn’t wait till the torch got lit? This someone busted they ass on the hurdles? Till Yao got dunked on by Kobe?? I guess the people that were stabbed were relatives of the US Volleyball Team coach. I think China should offer us the gold by default.

A Nigerian official spent roughly $4 million on hiring a witch doctor to kill his rival. Well for starters, if niggas got $4 mill to spend on voodoo, then I need to move back! Obviously this story has some holes in it. Cuz ain’t no Nigerian parting with $4 million dollars, we just too stingy. Second of all, it woulda been a lot cheaper and cost effect to pay some hoodlums $100K to get the job done. I do believe he did hire a witch doctor….you can take the Nigerian out of the bush, but you can’t take the bush outta the Nigerian lmao (all my American reads are like “what the fuck is he talkin about”. That’s why you need more African friends, to help you translate lol).

Georgia is in a “state of war” with Russia. (I know all my southerners are sayin “damn, I hope Russia don’t destroy Atlanta, I still haven’t been to Magic City”). But for those that passed the 6^th grade, it seems like Russia has been the aggressor, bombing civilian homes. Where is World Peace Keeper, USA, at this time? I guess Bush (from his plush, highly secure, good air pumpin suite in China) issued a statement that everybody should stop fightin so that they can watch America kick everyone’s ass in the Olympics. I mean, that’s the equivalent of you and your sibling fighting and your mom yells from downstairs “Now now kids, play nicely”. Did you stop fightin? Nope. Not until someone started cryin and when a country cries, everyone loses (what’s Georgia’s nuclear program lookin like? O you say they don’t have one? That’s like a mugger robbing you with a knife…nigga this ain’t the 70s, if you want this cash you better flash that steel. Their program may not be as proflic, but we don’t really have them in our radar either.)

Here is some bewildering news (yea, it’s so crazy I had to use the craziest word in my vocabulary to describe it). Clay Aiken is gonna be a daddy!!! Whhhhhoaaaaa nelllllllllllllllllllllly. But the mother is actually a woman!!!!!!!! Errrrrrrrrr?!?! I thought he was gay? Well, let’s see here. His wife’s name is James (Jaymes) Foster, she’s 50 years old, she looks like a dude with a wig, and she was artificially inseminated. Yep, he’s gay. Everythin is status quo, whew. Lmao.

Welcome to LA Manny Ramirez, glad you ditched that bitch ass team called the Red Sox. Huh? What you say? You wanna be a Yankee now? Why? To punish the Red Sox? Well come give me a hug, because we are family now!! I guess you came here to get the Torre experience before you moved back to the East. Good strategy bro, good strategy.

"I ain't scared of you motherfuckers":

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Hey don’t sue me: The picture of Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes is from AP photoshare, Jaymes and Clay was on Google, so sue them and Manny’s pic I got from FanNation.com.