Showing posts with label Michael Phelps. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Michael Phelps. Show all posts
Friday, August 14, 2009
Michael Phelps is not news worthy
I hate stupid celebrities who make the news for stupid car accidents. Like Michael Phelps who was in a car accident the other day. Was he hurt? No. Did anyone die? No. Was their alcohol involved? Most likely not. SO WHY IS THIS IN THE NEWS??? The Olympics ain’t for another 3 years. This accident doesn’t affect the outcome of the swimming competitions. We’d still win without Phelps. Take Mer-man’s irrelevant ass out the fuckin news and tell me if I have to provide health care to Jorge and his family. Because I’d rather not; it’s a lot easier to drive down to the border and pick up a new family.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Michael Phelps doesn't worry bout the law
Good job Sheriff Dickhead. You have wasted 2 weeks on somethin I said wasn’t even worth pursuing. You coulda caught a real criminal or somethin…given out more speedin tickets at least. I should have your job since you suck at it.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Michael Phelps apologized already, move on
Man, that’s why I don’t like when they put these celebrities on pedestals. He’s human just like you and me. It’s just that he has a talent that he excels in. The boy can swim harder than most dolphins. So what? That’s his specialty. If the Olympics had a “Penis” competition, I woulda won 8 medals too…and they wouldn’t be put around my neck (Fuck a “Breast Stroke”, “Long Stroke” would be my dominant competition lmao, what’s wrong with me?). So why he’s being punished by losin endorsements I don’t know. Don’t put him on your dumbass cereal box, it’s not gonna change who he is and what he has done. If your kid looked up to Michael Phelps then he already knows that Phelps smokes that green whether or not your kid has breakfast with him in the morning or not. And if he doesn’t know, he’s gonna wonder why his hero isn’t on his cereal box anymore promptin a too early discussion on drugs. Get over it. Seriously.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
South Carolina Sheriff needs money
When in the midst of a recession, it’s a smart deal to make money anyway you can. The California Highway Patrol does it by giving speedin tickets to people doin 80 in a 65 which is about as much a crime as not payin your taxes. The Richland County Sheriff's Department in South Carolina decide to make money by first wasting it. They plan on using tax payer’s money to investigate whether or not Michael Phelps smoked the bong on the USC campus because he broke the law and they want to be fair to everyone. Eat a dick sheriff. The school doesn’t care, why should you? If you arrest Phelps, he’s gonna beat it anyways. If they wanna investigate somethin, investigate what strand of the sticky that boy smokes. Seriously, that nigga smokes that “water weed” or that seaweed hahahahahaha (I really should do stand up, this shit is gold). How he smoke and the best swimmer in the world? I bet that throws a wrench in those anti marijuana commercials lol. No more showin bums on a couch, you gotta show weed smokers winning medals!!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Michael Phelps smokes weed....so?
Whose hero is he? He ain’t my hero. So I don’t give two shits what kinda drugs the boy uses. He is only 23, marijuana is just at the bottom of the list. I swear, only in America can we elect former (at least that’s what they tell us) users to run the country (Bush, Clinton, Bush, Obama that I know of) but as soon as some bum ass swimming nigga smokes, parents get disappointed and corporate suits wanna stop his cash flow. If your kid is smokin weed, it ain’t because dolphin boy did it. Chances are your child wanted to smoke weed already and was lookin for a stupid excuse to start. Raise your kids better instead of worryin bout someone else’s. Maybe I should get a DUI and start smokin weed, cuz I’m tryin to become the Michael Phelps of this bloggin shit!
Monday, December 1, 2008
Guess who's comin to dinner?
Have you seen Michael Phelps girlfriend? Well here she is, Caroline “Caz” Pal. Um, not really a keeper. I think she works at the same restaurant that Clooney’s ex girl worked at. So I guess you know what that means. High profile relationship for a couple months, maybe a year, then break it off so that you can become a D list star. Gotta love America, the land of opportunities. Considerin how ugly he is and how ugly she is, maybe they’ll last forever.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Allow me to reintroduce myself....
So I just woke up from a very satisfying nap in order to write this and I’m still tired and unmotivated. But I know there are people out there that depend on me, and will be hurt and confused if I don’t rant on somethin. You’re like my children…Children of the Corn. Lol. Hey man, I just realized I've been doin this for more than a month now...wow, I'm nice with it. I'm the Micheal Phelps of this Blog shit!!!!
And we have our first non-official Obama Death Threat. Granted these guys were druggies and not really capable of tying their shoes let alone attacking Obama, I think it’s still a symbolic effort and I think we will see a lot of copy cats for the next year. Sad.
People are mad at Elizabeth Edwards for not comin clean about Sen. John Edwards’ affair. They are sayin that she helped keep it under wraps to help John’s political future. Ok and? It’s not like it was any of our business anyways AND if you ask me, knowin about it earlier would have probably made him a better candidate, lol. I mean a politician without an affair under his belt? I wouldn’t think he was takin his job seriously. Barack probably cheated on Michelle but he was prolly smart enough to do it overseas. If Michelle ever found out, expect to see the White House lawn littered with clothes lol.
RIP Andre Young Jr. Guess we can expect another delay on the Detox album :(
DNC tonight, real big event for most…me, not so much. I haven’t followed politics much because to me, it’s all the same. To me, it’s not about what a candidate can do for you because in all honesty, they don’t really care that much about us. It’s just that one group usually cares less than the other. In this past decade (more like 25 years) that group has been the Republicans. Now when I say ‘us’ I mean the Middle and Poor Class. But even that doesn’t really sway my vote. Common sense does. Past 8 years we’ve had a Republican for a president. I don’t care of his name because it doesn’t matter, his gang affiliations indicate what his ideologies are. The Republicans have ruined our country in EVERY aspect. Financially, educationally, internationally, domestically, oily, energy, every which way. The only thing Republicans have succeeded in doin is creating a bunch of prejudiced, scary ass citizens who turn on the news everyday and feed their fear by seein more of the dismantling of their great country. I don’t care what the Democrats run as their platform. As long as they don’t say, we are shipping more jobs overseas or we need to increase our dependence on oil, or let’s spend more money on a war that isn’t reaping any rewards. Because I know those issues won't help my country. Universal health care sounds a lot less expensive than universal bombing and rebuilding. What was the worst part of the last Democract's term in office? He got a blow job. Well, if that’s what my president needs in order to keep the country running smooth, so fuckin be it. Let’s create a new Cabinet member specifically for that, the Secretary of Dick Sucking. Honestly, if the Republicans were doin a great job with our country, I would vote Republican without blinking twice. Why some people think it’s a good idea to vote Republican, I don’t know, but women still accidentally kill their kids by leavin them in the car with the windows up. Some people are naturally stupid. For the love of this country, please vote Democract in November….we’ve had 8 years of Hell, and 4 years with Democracts maybe uncertain, but it’s better than another 4 years of Hell. Lol, remember the excuse that some people made for voting Republican 4 years ago? Let them clean up the mess that they made? Thanks for being a douche you fuckin moron.
These two are Republicans:
And so is this pastor:
So what if he’s Australian, if he was American, he would be Republican lol.
Obama-Biden interview on how Obama popped the question, lol.
Baseball has added replay to the game helpin the umpires make correct calls. Now umps will be able to witness on the spot how boring baseball is to watch lol.
No more funny videos!!! I’ve ran out….kinda, I could just type in ‘funny’ at YouTube and post what is given but I’m more about quality than quantity. Sooooooooooooo, guess you have to find your own video today.
The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
And we have our first non-official Obama Death Threat. Granted these guys were druggies and not really capable of tying their shoes let alone attacking Obama, I think it’s still a symbolic effort and I think we will see a lot of copy cats for the next year. Sad.
People are mad at Elizabeth Edwards for not comin clean about Sen. John Edwards’ affair. They are sayin that she helped keep it under wraps to help John’s political future. Ok and? It’s not like it was any of our business anyways AND if you ask me, knowin about it earlier would have probably made him a better candidate, lol. I mean a politician without an affair under his belt? I wouldn’t think he was takin his job seriously. Barack probably cheated on Michelle but he was prolly smart enough to do it overseas. If Michelle ever found out, expect to see the White House lawn littered with clothes lol.
RIP Andre Young Jr. Guess we can expect another delay on the Detox album :(
DNC tonight, real big event for most…me, not so much. I haven’t followed politics much because to me, it’s all the same. To me, it’s not about what a candidate can do for you because in all honesty, they don’t really care that much about us. It’s just that one group usually cares less than the other. In this past decade (more like 25 years) that group has been the Republicans. Now when I say ‘us’ I mean the Middle and Poor Class. But even that doesn’t really sway my vote. Common sense does. Past 8 years we’ve had a Republican for a president. I don’t care of his name because it doesn’t matter, his gang affiliations indicate what his ideologies are. The Republicans have ruined our country in EVERY aspect. Financially, educationally, internationally, domestically, oily, energy, every which way. The only thing Republicans have succeeded in doin is creating a bunch of prejudiced, scary ass citizens who turn on the news everyday and feed their fear by seein more of the dismantling of their great country. I don’t care what the Democrats run as their platform. As long as they don’t say, we are shipping more jobs overseas or we need to increase our dependence on oil, or let’s spend more money on a war that isn’t reaping any rewards. Because I know those issues won't help my country. Universal health care sounds a lot less expensive than universal bombing and rebuilding. What was the worst part of the last Democract's term in office? He got a blow job. Well, if that’s what my president needs in order to keep the country running smooth, so fuckin be it. Let’s create a new Cabinet member specifically for that, the Secretary of Dick Sucking. Honestly, if the Republicans were doin a great job with our country, I would vote Republican without blinking twice. Why some people think it’s a good idea to vote Republican, I don’t know, but women still accidentally kill their kids by leavin them in the car with the windows up. Some people are naturally stupid. For the love of this country, please vote Democract in November….we’ve had 8 years of Hell, and 4 years with Democracts maybe uncertain, but it’s better than another 4 years of Hell. Lol, remember the excuse that some people made for voting Republican 4 years ago? Let them clean up the mess that they made? Thanks for being a douche you fuckin moron.
These two are Republicans:
And so is this pastor:
So what if he’s Australian, if he was American, he would be Republican lol.
Obama-Biden interview on how Obama popped the question, lol.
Baseball has added replay to the game helpin the umpires make correct calls. Now umps will be able to witness on the spot how boring baseball is to watch lol.
No more funny videos!!! I’ve ran out….kinda, I could just type in ‘funny’ at YouTube and post what is given but I’m more about quality than quantity. Sooooooooooooo, guess you have to find your own video today.
The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Me Love You Long Time
I’m outta town again and this time I’m fuckin pissed!!! And I’m tipsy. See, I stayed at a real hotel this time (realer than where I used to stay at), that has a restaurant and bar. I called the hotel before I left and asked if the rooms were equipped with HDTVs, and the Commi bastard told me no. So I get here open my door and this is what I see:
Yes, that’s an HDTV. I coulda been playin Madden right now instead of entertaining you ungrateful bastards, lol. You know what I like about being in a hotel that has a real lobby? You can smell the pussy in the hallways. I mean, I was getting eye-fucked from this broad while eatin dinner….but she was so ugly, I had trouble keepin my food down. Maybe I should get another drink and invite her up….
Good news: Christina Applegate is free from any breast cancer gene in her body.
Sad news: She lost both her breast in a double mastectomy.
Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a huge supporter for breast cancer awareness and donate to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure and I rock my pink ribbon even when it’s not October. And Christina’s case is exactly the reason why. Granted she has enough money for reconstructive breast surgery, but some women can't afford it (especially after all the other medical bills they have accumulated). I think it’s horrible that women lose their breast because of this. I mean, testicular cancer isn’t cool either but at least we can hide our one ball underneath our pants and the only time a girl would notice is if you ask her to play with your ball (so you brought that embarrassment upon yourself, lol). But for a woman to have one (or none in some cases) breast? Let’s say she gets away with stuffin her bra pretty well. Or she even tells you durin the date about her battle with breast cancer. But when that shirt comes off and your lookin at the one breast and the one saggy flesh with no titty meat….it can be a different story (it's already known that we are highly visual sexual creatures). Bravo Ms. Applegate.
Myanmar was recently blasted by a cyclone, which then led to floodin, which then led to the country becomin the largest area of horse manure on Earth. Sad. But whats worse is how the women are turning to prostitution to make ends meet. Sadder. But whats worser than that? They makin less than $10 a day. I need to quit this bloggin shit and go pimp in Myanmar. These girls obviously don’t know that the pussy stock is UP in their cuntry (lmao, o you gotta love that joke…come on, commmmmmme on!). With men feelin depressed or no other forms of entertainment available, sex is the number one commodity and these girls are sellin for cheap!!! Fuck that, they should make $2000 a day. Granted most of the people that are affected by this disaster are poor and couldn’t afford $100 for a blow job, the girls should set their sights on the wealthy business men and stick them for their riches.
In a nice twist of Karma, it appears that a man on the run for allegedly killin a lady, died in a fiery car crash while evading police. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, God hates you so much that not only are you gonna burn in Hell, but He gave you a preview of what it’s gonna be like. Take that!
Michael Phelps don’t listen to no Bruce Springsteen, but my nigga got that Carter III!!!!! Lmao. By the way, I’m Michael Phelps’ hero (tshirts comin soon lol).
Bling bling
Everytime I come around yo city
Bling bling
Pinky ring worth about fifty
Bling bling
Everytime I buy a new ride
Bling bling
Lorenzos on Yokahama tires
Bling bling
Further evidence that Brasilians are lovers not fighters:
The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
Yes, that’s an HDTV. I coulda been playin Madden right now instead of entertaining you ungrateful bastards, lol. You know what I like about being in a hotel that has a real lobby? You can smell the pussy in the hallways. I mean, I was getting eye-fucked from this broad while eatin dinner….but she was so ugly, I had trouble keepin my food down. Maybe I should get another drink and invite her up….
Good news: Christina Applegate is free from any breast cancer gene in her body.
Sad news: She lost both her breast in a double mastectomy.
Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a huge supporter for breast cancer awareness and donate to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure and I rock my pink ribbon even when it’s not October. And Christina’s case is exactly the reason why. Granted she has enough money for reconstructive breast surgery, but some women can't afford it (especially after all the other medical bills they have accumulated). I think it’s horrible that women lose their breast because of this. I mean, testicular cancer isn’t cool either but at least we can hide our one ball underneath our pants and the only time a girl would notice is if you ask her to play with your ball (so you brought that embarrassment upon yourself, lol). But for a woman to have one (or none in some cases) breast? Let’s say she gets away with stuffin her bra pretty well. Or she even tells you durin the date about her battle with breast cancer. But when that shirt comes off and your lookin at the one breast and the one saggy flesh with no titty meat….it can be a different story (it's already known that we are highly visual sexual creatures). Bravo Ms. Applegate.
Myanmar was recently blasted by a cyclone, which then led to floodin, which then led to the country becomin the largest area of horse manure on Earth. Sad. But whats worse is how the women are turning to prostitution to make ends meet. Sadder. But whats worser than that? They makin less than $10 a day. I need to quit this bloggin shit and go pimp in Myanmar. These girls obviously don’t know that the pussy stock is UP in their cuntry (lmao, o you gotta love that joke…come on, commmmmmme on!). With men feelin depressed or no other forms of entertainment available, sex is the number one commodity and these girls are sellin for cheap!!! Fuck that, they should make $2000 a day. Granted most of the people that are affected by this disaster are poor and couldn’t afford $100 for a blow job, the girls should set their sights on the wealthy business men and stick them for their riches.
In a nice twist of Karma, it appears that a man on the run for allegedly killin a lady, died in a fiery car crash while evading police. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, God hates you so much that not only are you gonna burn in Hell, but He gave you a preview of what it’s gonna be like. Take that!
Michael Phelps don’t listen to no Bruce Springsteen, but my nigga got that Carter III!!!!! Lmao. By the way, I’m Michael Phelps’ hero (tshirts comin soon lol).
Bling bling
Everytime I come around yo city
Bling bling
Pinky ring worth about fifty
Bling bling
Everytime I buy a new ride
Bling bling
Lorenzos on Yokahama tires
Bling bling
Further evidence that Brasilians are lovers not fighters:
The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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