I need some fans

Drivin around today and saw an occurrence that blew my mind. Twice today I saw white people speedin past cops. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was doin about 75-80 when I saw the cops, so then I would slow down to about 60-65. But the other guy would just zoom right past!!! Fuck that, I ain’t even tryin to test my luck. Hell, the other day I got a ticket for driving. Cop pulled me over and asked for my license and registration. He didn’t say anythin when I asked him what the problem was, he just handed me a ticket. I asked him what it was for, and he was like “driving.” I said a DUI? DWI? He said nah, just driving. At the same time a car was driving down honkin the horn. As the car passed by, the cop and I look over to see a white man mooning the cop. I mean he had his ass cheeks all spread out….it’s crazy out here in LA I tell ya.

They’rrrrrrrrrrrre baaaaaaaaaaaack. Google is still on its mission to take over the world. Next stop: internet browser. Google Chrome beta is coming out today at 3am PST. I read the little comic book they created explaining Chrome and I LOVE IT. It looks totally excellent on paper, but I really can’t wait to try it out. I don’t wanna bore you with technical details but it looks like it’s going to be a very stable, app driven browser which is what we need in this land of Web 2.0. Leave it to Google to finally get it. Seriously Microsoft, what the fuck are you doing over there? So glad I didn’t get hired by you.

Rumor around La-La land is that Wacko Jacko is messin with Slut-o Pam-o. They prolly just had a lunch to discuss plastic surgery techniques and who’s the best doctor for which procedure. I think Jacko wants to get his boobs done so that he can start breast feedin kids lol.

The GOP did their little convention thingy crap today. I’m not gonna take up too much space with what they spoke about but I will mention this. Lieberman is a bitchass nigga. I don’t trust anythin Mr. Benedict Arnold says because look at the first three letters in his last name…..Second, why is everyone hyping up the fact that McCain wanted more troops in Iraq????? There are still people in this country that are for this “war”? Didn’t we run outta insurgents and are now just killin regular Iraqi citizens? Is there any real reason for us to occupy Iraq outside of being able to launch a quick attack on Iran? Is Iraq ever gonna share it’s oil with us? Tune in next week for the conclusion. Same Bush Time, same Bush channel. And if you vote McCain, you can watch this show for at least the next 4 years.

So everyone knows about Palin’s daughter being 5 months preggers and being an unwed 17 year old. I knew about this since Friday (my roommate is secretly havin an affair with Obama, so it's all politics over here), but it’s not an issue for me. How she governs her home and our country are two different things. Children make mistakes. Her husband having a DUI…same boat, not really an issue on how to run the country. Her sex tape? Lol, kiddin, but I can’t wait till that gets leaked. I’m buyin 2 copies…one to watch and the other as a collector’s item lmao.

Two Jamaican hurdlers have been implicated in a steroid ring….and we will wait for the other shoe to drop as everyone looks at Bolt lol.

Glad to see at least one country in Africa is keepin it real. “Tens of thousands of bare-breasted virgins competed for Swaziland King Mswati III's eye on Monday in a traditional Reed Dance.” according to reuters.com. That is what I need to get back to. The essence of an African man. When I blow up and get rich (which is a matter of time and not a matter of happening), I’m gonna throw an annual festival in which butt naked broads will compete for my affection. Then I’ma sell it to VH1 as a reality show called I Love Naked Bush Women, lmao. Done.

Here is a clip of prostitute training camp. This is the “Running from the cops” drill:




RIP Don LaFontaine…In A World full of stupid politicians, disgusting psychopaths, and pompous celebrities. One Man takes on the duty of reporting the bullshit to the masses. His name is The Tenant. This winter get ready for an action packed hilarious blog as The Tenant brings to you on a daily basis, his view on this fucked up world. May God help us all. Look for The Tenant in…
The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!


Coming soon to a website near you.

I don't like people playin on my phone

Ugh, Monday. My weekend was cool. Met some new people (yay, I have new friends….and they have MONEY!!! No more broke pimpin!!!). Went to the beach for the first time this summer (eh, it’s always gonna be there, no rush to go). Used sunscreen for the first time in my life (lmao, my black ass got some SPF 50! (Keep that tattoo fresh!)). I’m feelin a bit tired writing this post, so I’m gonna let Jim Carrey be funny for me today.

Yay Dream Team (or Cream Team)!!! They seem to have redeemed the US in the eyes of the world as the basketball stars that they are. They beat Spain in a game that was pretty close. Spain never had the lead after the first 10 mins of the game, but they kept it within 8 pts or less. People that I am lookin forward to seein this season: DWAYNE WADE! My boy is back…and yes, call me Judas because I stopped fuckin with him after the dismal post championship season (2007). But I would claim him (no homo) when playin basketball (you know I always come on the court comparing myself to Wade). My boy is healthy and was kickin ass and takin names. And not just the Gold Medal game, but the entire Olympics. Kobe was Kobe, King James did his thing, and I was really impressed by Carmelo Anthony. All of them came together like Voltron and whooped on them foreigners.

In other Olympic news, it appears that Jamaican superstar, Usain Bolt, is dopin up. Sike, I bet half of you were like “I knew he was too fast.” If he’s on anything its crack not steroids. Look at how skinny and fast he is, you’d think there was an 8-ball at the end of the track. Nah, I wanna draw you attention to the next Karate Kid: Cuban Angel Matos. Below is a video of what happened if you don’t already know.

Clearly the man was cheated. And even more clearer, is his name should not be Angel. More like Diablo. You don’t DQ someone for taking too long in a medal match. I know you guys will say “well rules are rules”, but rules are meant to be enforced at the referee’s discretion. Meaning the ref could have easily given Matos a warning before just disqualifying him. It wasn't a good look on anybody’s part. Not the ref, not Matos and not the Borat prick that won (you complain about Bolt’s showboating, but this guy danced like a fairy after getting an unfair win). I guess this will put a black eye (or at least a broken jaw lol) on the sport of Taekwondo (which is a pansy martial art anyways (and I don’t care if someone takin Taekwondo can kick my ass, I would hope so since they are takin a martial art and I’m not but if I was, I promise you they couldn’t see me with their lax defense and high kicks.))

Joe Bidden is gonna be the VP of America. Well, I hope so because it looks like Obama has lost his advantage over McCain in recent polls. It appears the Clintonites have decided not to vote for Obama because Hilary isn’t on the ticket. I can see why ya mad, but seriously, you’re a dumb shit if you though Hilary was gettin on that ticket. She was like anti-Obama to the point that I wasn’t sure if she was a Republican or Democrat. I know you wanna win, but cutting down a party member is kinda low. Save the hurt for the opposite party. Anyways, it appears Bidden is the “experience” that Obama needs. Sad part about this story is that Bidden has said himself that Obama lacks the experience to become president. Hey Joe, how do your words taste? Wants some hot sauce? Waitin from the Obama camp to see how they will spin this in his favor.

This may be news to you, maybe you don’t care. Maybe I don’t care, but I’ma say it anyways cuz this is my show and if you don’t like it-get the fuck out! Your favorite rap mogul is a bit on the bi-sexual side. I can’t say my source but it’s credible (and you know I don’t like spreadin bullshit) and I don’t wanna say the name cuz I can’t afford to be sued (saving up to go to Brasil next year).

And here’s a fitting video (no Jim Carrey isn’t bi lol):




The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!! Take that, take that