The aircraft that went down? An Airbus

Another day another airbus crash…how is their stock doin? Boeing needs to just buy them out… or maybe Concord lol. This is totally ridiculous. Even the NSTB is investigating Airbus aircrafts to see if there are any patterns to the crashes. These things just can’t seem to stay in the air. They’re more bus than plane and that needs to be fix. Maybe they should change their name to Airbust. Can’t mess with that.

Plane disappears off Rio coast

Damn, planes just disappearing and shit now? I don’t know why but every time I report a crash it was an Airbus that fucked up. That’s why I try not to fly on those things. My motto is “if it’s not a Boeing, then I ain’t going!” Wow, I just made that up…incredible huh? But seriously, my flight checklist is as follows: No AirTran, no layover in Atlanta, no Continental, no Airbus, no seat 4 or more rows away from an exit. If I’ma go down, I’ma go down with a fightin chance. Most likely there will be better details by the end of the day about this flight so stay tuned.

NTSB releases plane crash transcript

The National Transportation Safety Board released the transcript of the cockpit recording of the Continental Flight that went down in Buffalo this past February. It contains the screams and the last words of the pilot which were "Jesus Christ" and "We're down,". What’s even more chilling is that the co-pilot was talkin about her fear of crashing and never wanting to fly in icy conditions. As reported by my favorite commentator, the reports also indicated that lack of training was why the pilot crashed. He had failed 5 pilot exams before; three before he joined the airline, two after. I’m allll about givin people second chances (so Salma, call me), but when it comes to people’s lives…man you get one chance. How soon can a pilot retake a test after failing? I think it should be once every 6-10 years depending how badly they did. Seriously. And he had NOOO training on a stick pusher, which is used to help a plane from stalling when diving. UGH. Total mess if you ask me. I think a good lawsuit should be in order.

Stay out the air

It looks like commercial planes aren’t the only ones goin down. A fighter jet crashed and killed the test pilot yesterday. An F-22 being flown by 21-year Air Force Vet, David Cooley, crashed for unknown reasons near Edwards Air Force Base in California. Is anything safe anymore? Lance Armstrong can’t even ride his bike without breakin his collarbone. I think I’m just gonna sit in my basement and blog for the rest of my life. No more goin out, straight hobbit mode.

I'm buyin a tour bus

Yesterday was one of my scarier flights. The turbulence heading into LA was ridiculous. It felt like a little child picked up the plane and was shakin it up and down. To make matters worse, I wasn’t even sittin in my preferred seat. When I book flights I always get a window seat on the wing no more than 3 rows away from an exit. This is so that I can insure my survival just in case the plane decides to go down or split in half and I get sucked out with my seat. I’ve seen enough action movies to turn my jacket and seat cushion into a proper landing device lol. But seriously, I get the seats because I feel safer. Well when boardin my connectin flight from Chicago to LA, I handed my ticket to the lady at the gate and then the machine rejects my ticket. The lady tells me I have to go to the desk for a new ticket. Find out I’ve been reassigned because some obese bastard is takin up an entire row. Now I’ve been reassigned to the last seat in the back of the plane. And it's a damn aisle seat. I wouldn’t even want a window seat back there because all you would see is the FUCKING JET’S ENGINE! And I’m bein seated next to a bearded man named Mohammed who was actin real fidgety and agitated at the gate before the flight (found out he missed his flight and was upset with the lack of support from American Airlines, but it didn’t help that TSA did a “random” luggage check too…seriously, I could make this stuff up but I’m not.) Anyways I’m alive but I can’t say the same for the 17 people killed in a plane crash yesterday in Montana. It appears that a single engine plane went down and crashed in a cemetery (of all places). There was another plane crash in Japan. A FedEx plane landed but was caught by the wind so it bounced around, tipped over, and burst into flames. Like I’ve said before, I don’t know what I’ve done in my past life to be so lucky, but I don’t take a damn thing for granted.

Turkey's don't fly anyways

Another plane has crashed…and at this rate I think I’ma walk to Brazil. Of the 134 people in the plane, 9 died and 50 were injured (with 25 having serious injuries). Like what the fuck man. And the experts are sayin a lot of people are walkin away from plane crashes. Tell that to the people in the Buffalo crash couple weeks ago. Experts say as long as the plane doesn’t burst into flames, you have a higher chance of walkin away. I say as long as the plane stay in the air when it needs to and doesn’t fuck up on the land, I’ll walk away 100% of the time. Do we need to just shut down air traffic for a week (could you imagine the HELL that would occur?) and take the pilots back to school for a brief update or brush up on their skills? This isn’t a good feelin at all.

U.S. Airways pays passengers

Sounds like hush money to me. But U.S. Airways has issued out $5000 to help replace some of the items lost during the crash. It will take months to process all the luggage because first they have to weight them, let them dry for 8 weeks, then weight them again. All to make sure that there was proper weight distribution and other bullshit. Why don’t they skip all that and just check the faulty engine which shoulda been checked two days prior when the passengers on that flight heard the engine start to give up. I’ll be keepin tuned to this debacle as it drags on this year.

Killer birds take down Airbus

Well glad to hear everyone got out safely, but jeeeeeez. Kudos to the pilots for keepin it cool and collected and to the passengers who didn’t go into panic mode and kept everyone level headed while the plane was filling up with water. I need a tour bus or somethin cuz flyin is for the birds. Actually, not so much since they too are gettin clipped off lol. Here is an article on how to survive a plane crash.