J. Lo doesn't want ex to release video

If you’re strapped for cash, what do you usually do? Most people find another job or somethin but that’s not the case for J. Lo’s ex-hubby. Ojani Noa is tryin to release a video of him and J. Lo on their honeymoon. Lopez is filing a suit to keep it from comin out. It appears her and her lawyers want to look at the tape first and make sure it doesn’t make her look like the grimy bitch she is. What’s most likely gonna happen is J. Lo is gonna pay Noa not to release the tape and he can go about his merry life ballin outta control. Then when he’s strapped for cash, another video will surface. This will continue until he is ready to release the sex tape, and that’s when he’ll really get paid. Damn, why can I be a nobody who married and divorced a somebody and slowly extorts them for the rest of my life?

Jenny likes losers

I still can’t figure out what attracted J.Lo to Marc Anthony. He can’t dress. He doesn’t look like he tells good jokes. She oozes sexy. He just oozes. Well here they are with J.Lo lookin a bit like Jenny circa In Living Color, but with blonde hair.

Marco and J-Lo are dunzo! (I DEED IT)

J-Lo and Marc Anthony may soon be callin it quits. There are reports of Jenny from the block showin up to events without her hubby and without her wedding ring. No surprise to me at all. I knew she married him because she wanted babies, IMMEDIATELY. Her clock wasn’t just tickin, but the snooze button on the alarm was broke so it was ringing all day and night. The only reason J-Lo didn’t marry me is cuz I was still in my thuggish days and I reminded her of G-Dep which reminded her of Diddy. She didn’t wanna deal with that mess again. But damn her ass is fat. Ahem. Um where was I…o yea. He’s Catholic, she’s Scientology. She’s successful, he’s not. She’s thick, he’s skeletal. Surprised that ass didn’t break his penis off.

Obama goes hard....

Come one, come all to the grandest show in town!!!

Now we have a serious problem here. Before he used to just say “DJ Khaled. We The Best”. Then it became “We the best, who??? WE NIGGA!!!”. Then on random tracks he would say a variety of things, but basically talkin shit. NOW, the muthafucka has taken it tooooo far. On the latest single, “Go Hard” feat T-ye (Kanye is using that T-Pain shit again) from his upcoming album, this muthafucka says: “I do it for the hood, because the hood said I should. If they hatin on you don’t stress, tell them niggas that we the best. Fuck the best, we run this game. Kanye West, Khaled and Pain!” Know what happens when a producer tries to rap? Timberland & Mr. Magoo? Jermaine Dupri? Swizz Beatz? Yung Berg? Rocko the Don? Now imagine when a DJ tries to rap….if his next album is just him over The Runners, I will fly down to Florida and shoot him in the face at point blank with a shirt cannon.

Obama formally accepted his nomination tonite and gave a great speech. I thought it was a great speech, but like I said before he coulda talked about providing coloring books for the elderly and gettin our energy from used diapers and I would still vote for him. I will prolly watch McCain’s speech just to see how far he can distance himself from Bush without disowning the Republican Party. That’s gonna be very interesting. Who woulda thought that a man with “Hussein” in his name would be running for president? Granted, no part of his name has made this a walk in the park, and actually makes him an easier target:

I wonder how far O’Brian and Letterman will take their jokes.

J. Lo has shown her endorsement for Obama today by showin up for a luncheon for the DNC (lookin like a Puerto Rican first lady with a FAT ass lol), who makes music a lot better than Daddy Yankee. Yea, she can be a diva and have outlandish demands, but that fits with Obama’s diva like demands for Universal Health Care (ooo, just cuz I fuck with a person doesn’t mean I always agree with them). But like I said, it’s better than havin someone whose hit song is “Gasolina” (no, I’m not gonna point out the irony, you big boys and girls can do it. It wasn’t a fuckin coincidence. McCain knew exactly why he chose Yankee over Pitbull lol.)

I love the people that McCain has in his corner. CNN does this commentary where they have guests write articles on behalf of the candidate they are endorsing. One of McCain’s SENIOR advisors, Carly Fiorina, wrote about how McCain’s plan will jumpstart the economy and create millions of jobs. I was gonna read the article till I read that she was CEO of Hewlett-Packard during the merger with Compaq. This is the same bitch that cause a profitable company to lose money in the market and LAYOFF thousands of workers. Yea, she worked for AT&T and was instrumental in Lucent going public and Forbes once called her one of the top most powerful women in America but you know what? You’re only as good as your last job. And her last job almost crippled a great standing company. This says to me, when the going gets tough Carly lays off folk. She doesn’t cut back spending. She doesn’t try to reinvent and stir up revenue. She just cuts the “slack” which happen to be the working class of America. I mean, she's on her second marriage which also says to me, she has poor judgement (doesn't matter why she got divorced, it's still poor judgement). Vote McCain, because she is who he’ll be getting advice from…fuckin idiots.

Here we go again, another Jesus sighting. This time on the wings of a moth. I mean, seriously man? That image looks like any Joe schmoe. It looks like the mechanic that “fixed” my car but the check engine light is still on. It looks like the cook at the restaurant who put onions on my burger after I requested no onions. I’m not gonna lie tho, I do get jealous of the instant publicity people get with these “Jesus” sightings. I think I’ma organize the words on my blog so that they form Jesus’ face, or better yet, I’ma vacuum my carpet so that it looks like Jesus. Then I’ll tape it off till reporters show up.


New meanin to slap boxing:







I’ma tell you like George Bush told me: “Fuck you, I’m outta here!”
The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!