Twin City Twins: Anne and Kate - rarest unicorns ever

No clue who these twins are but if I had enough money I would marry the both of them just so that no other man could have the satisfaction of calling them his wife. Baddest white chicks I’ve ever seen. Ever.

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

No Sex in the City, but twins for Sarah Jessica Parker

Congrats to Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick on their new twins. The surrogate mother delivered the babies Monday afternoon. Twins? That’s so 2008. What is the baby trend for this year? I think I’ma start it off by adoptin an Iranian baby. Hmmm, but I don’t want him/her riotin when we vote on what movie to see and they lose. African babies are 2007-2008. Maybe a Chinese baby. Oh wait an Indian baby (dot, not feather) is the adoption to make. After the success of Slumdog Millionaire, I’m pretty sure they are Hollywood’s new golden ticket. And if he/she doesn’t have the looks, I know if I send em to school they will become geniuses.

Wanda Sykes us out...

Whoa whoa whoa…hold the press. Wanda Sykes just had twins with her wife Alex???? Since when was Wanda gay? I mean thinkin about it, it’s kinda like yea I guess you coulda figured it out…but still. Let’s find a picture of Alex…nothin. That sucks. I wanted to see if she had a hot wife like Ellen. Anyways congrats to the two, and the healthy twin boy and girl!

Charlie Sheen is a dad again!

Congrats to Charlie Sheen and wifey Brooke Sheen, who welcomed in twin boys. Named them Max and Bob. On one hand I’m very thankful that they didn’t go the crazy celebrity route and start meshin words together to create names such as: Keyoven or Blendiron…I’m still tired alright? It’s the best I can do right now. But it doesn’t get anymore white Wonder Bread than Max and Bob…sheesh.

Are we done yet?

Congrats to Lisa Marie Presley on her TWIN baby girls. Granted she had them 3 months ago, I don’t recall reportin it and I’m too lazy to check the archives. Ay caramba. This twin shit has to be the most annoyin thing I’ve seen celebrities do this past year. Niggas can’t be happy with one baby, they gotta push out two. We need a law like the Chinese have limiting households to 3 kids max. I’m gonna start blamin the recession on the new babies.

Rebcca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell add two more to the clan

Congrats to Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell for havin….guess what? Yeah, twins. Like every other fuckin celebrity this past year. Is ’09 the year for triplets? Jeez. These celebrities, it’s like their whole lives revolve around doin what other celebrities are doin. Adopting kids, havin twins, stupid names for their kids, etc. I really couldn’t live that life. Give me the money, keep the fame.

It still works!

Guess who else is havin twins? Jenna Jameson. Her kids won’t be born until next year, so she is officially after the trend (didn’t the bitch get the memo? 2008 is the year of the twin babies). But the twins doesn’t surprise me. What does is the fact that sperm can actually swim up to her uterus. Most sperm are built to swim up a girl’s vag comparable to your local pond. No real obstacle, no real challenge. Sperm travelin up Jameson is akin to you swimming up Niagara Falls. Rocks and all. I guess that’s why she’s fuckin with Tito Ortiz (UFC champ), because his sperm HAS be to be on steroids and are used to the constant abuse of “accidental” nut jabs when fighting.