Jennifer Aniston's life might get worse

Seriously, can we just STOP picking on Jennifer Aniston? She needs to quit the game and retire. Fuck it. She’s not that GOOD of an actress and her movements are always under the microscope. I’m pretty sure she has enough money to find a new hobby. Just make sure it’s nothing that Brange like to do. I blame her management for this tabloid shit. If they had nipped it in the bud YEARS ago, Jen might actually have a real career and wouldn’t come off as the loser everyone feels sorry for. I think Jen needs a real nigga in her life. Shake things up. Help her improve her gangsta. We need a new Aniston.

Aniston and Mayer move on

I really feel sorry for Aniston. I know I clown and kid and call her a loser all the time, but her life is a lot harder than I could imagine. But I think she brings some of that bullshit to herself. Who is her publicist? Where are her friends? Why isn’t anyone tryin to make Jen Aniston the shit isn’t of the chick that gets shitted on? I think Jen needs some black friends. Girls that will take her shoppin and tell her that Mayer is a dickhead and she never should talk to him again. Then help her with a make over so that Jen and all 40 years of her can get her groove back. But, Jen should remember one thing. As far as looks go, she is really just the girl next door. Nothin of Hollywood caliber. So she should start dating people of non Hollywood caliber. No silly, I’m not talkin bout me. Jen couldn’t get me to date her if she dyed her arm and leg hairs blonde and got an ass implant.

John Mayer is lame

Ryan Seacrest is a sneaky dude…or Jen thinks she is the Queen B in Hollywood. Mayer (yea, Jen’s boo) called in to pretty much discuss his relationship with Jen on air with Ryan. I don’t want to get into the details because they weren’t juicy tidbits like “Jen loves when I tickle her with the feathers” or “she rocks these killer 9 inch heels”. It was more along the lines of a loser boy musician gushin over his girlfriend. Which is cool, if you’re a loser boy musician or if the woman you gush over is your wife. I guess Aniston and Seacrest have had the last laugh in the fight against Brange (I reaaaalllly didn’t wanna start callin them that, but it really is easier than just typin out both their names. Don’t hate me. Please?). However my money is still on the Hollywood power couple. They’ll prolly go to N. Korea tomorrow and get rid of Kim and liberate the entire country, then come back to the States and get rid of the deficit, all before Pax and Maddox get home from school. EAT THAT Maniston (is that what they’re called? I’m so new to this. Maniston, lmao, that’s funny).

Oh Jen...

My favorite loser is back in action. It appears that Jennifer Aniston has been hookin up with her ex John Mayer. Good for John, bad for Jen. I would fuck Aniston. She wouldn’t have to even complete the sentence.

Jen: “Would you like...” and my clothes are off.

Then I’ll ask her if her Yum Yum is good. LMAO. But seriously, I hope Jen is just in it for the sex. She needs to give up her fairytale and admit the fact she will be one of those women who just doesn’t get married. She’ll be “that aunt”. Lol. We all have one of them. The fastest she admits it, the cooler she’ll appear in the eyes of the world.

Home Sweet

I’m back home…and extremely tired so this will be either a partial rant (meanin dumb short) or I finish the rest later today.

I've seen the baddest chicks at an airport, but the funny thing is they never on my flight. The worst is when they sit in the same area as you, but board a flight at the adjacent gate (i apologize for usin the word adjacent (which means next to), I know how you people don't like big words). And when they are on my flight, they never get seated next to me. That's why I fly southwest nowadays. The open seating policy works to my advantage...now if I could get the cute girls to not fall asleep as soon as I sit next to them lol. Another thing I’ve started doing when flyin is puttin MD or PHD as a suffix for my name. Southwest likes to print your name on the ticket nice and big. A foreign doctor always gets girls wet.

In boo hoo news, it appears that Jennifer Aniston was dumped by John Mayer this week. When will she learn that a needy woman like her needs a needy loser. She has to stop tryin to date celebrities more successful than she is (yea, even Vince Vaughn has made better movies). She needs to start datin waiters and aspiring singers and mop boys…that way she can get her love child out of them before they realize they can do better.

Wow, another dumb bitch has made the news. It appears that a lady left her 3 year old son in her pickup truck without the windows open. Saddest part of the story? Police say that the child actually tried to save himself and open windows, start the car, unlock the door, but couldn’t. The dumb bitch said that she was going to drop him off at daycare before her shifted started, but forgot….I think her punishment should be to sit in the electric chair for just 2 seconds…but then we forget to turn it off. Next up is a man tried for murder for shakin his baby to death. I mean, he shook the shit outta the child…I mean not like a salt shaker, more like shake and bake. The baby's retinas were destroyed and he was blinded. Doctors say that even if the baby was kept alive (he was on life support) he woulda been blind and couldn’t feel anything. I’m runnin out of evil things to do to these people….just shoot him in the face, but not point blank. Graze him, and let me bleed to death.

A man is being sued by his ex wife for $25 million for giving her an STD. LMAO. Damn. Apperantly he had been havin unprotected sex with Asian hookers, which he admitted to his wife. Then about 9 years later she gets HPV and he admits to her again that he is still sleepin with hookers and has a mistress. Once a cheat, always a cheat… guess she learned the hard way.

Dad gets feed up with how his kids act, so this is what he does. Lol, damn. That’s just mean, but good parenting.

Teachers and students becomin friends on Facebook? If it’s a college setting then, ok (and I say that with reservations) but if it’s high school? That shit is gross B. Why on earth would you want to be friends with you students? That’s just askin for trouble, and it looks mad unprofessional. And why would a student want to be friends with their teacher? I liked Facebook back in the day when they didn’t have the crazy security settings, so that whatever you posted online…ALL your friends saw it. That made people more careful on whom they choose as friends. Now it’s simply a matter of adding your teachers to the “teacher” list and not givin them access to your drunken photos. Me? I don’t make friends with anyone that wasn’t born in the 80s. I don’t care how “down” or “hip” you pretend to be, if you grew up without internet you don’t need to be on Facebook. Go to MySpace for that shit.


Yap that fool!!!

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!