Kate plus 8 looks great was a fake

Last week I gushed over how good Kate Gosselin looked in a bikini. Well, I just found out she had a tummy tuck. That ruins everythin. I really thought out of the miracle of GOD that she was able to retain such a good figure after 8 kids. Yeah I saw the scar and I thought it was a c-section scar. Total fuckery. I may never get married now. All hope is lost for havin a woman that looks good after givin birth! Kill me now.

Kelly Bensimon's gets her nose from Moses

Kelly Bensimon is one of those real house whores of New York and I’m pretty sure her boobs are registered in two different boroughs. I thought girls wanted a good lift AND separation? I think Kelly’s doctor only understands separation.

CoCo's bra is made of carbon fiber

The theme for this week is vein-y boobs, so let’s keep it goin by throwin CoCo in the mix. Yum.

Usher's wife tried to cheat

It appears that Usher’s wife, Tameka Foster, went down to Brazil to have liposuction done on her. Instead of gettin rid of the baby fat (they have a two month old girl) properly by breast feeding and exercise, she decided to cheat and get the fat sucked out. HOW CAN THAT BE HEALTHY? She ain’t no Angelina Jolie, she can’t do the whole skinny chick breast feeding thing. Black people don’t look right tryin to breast feed when they just skin and bones. Well, durin the surgery somethin went wrong and the doctors put her in a medically induced coma to make sure that her body is alright. It seriously just baffles me how someone could have a kid and two months later they get back to the shape they were before. If you doin it the right way, then more power to ya. But if you tryin to cheat nature, then you deserve the outcome. And shame on the doctor for performing the surgery. I’m prolly not one to talk since I plan on givin the wife 6 months to get back to her pre-preggers body. But at least it’s 6 months! That’s a lot of time.

Usher's wife has health issues

Usher is still with LeBron in a wig? They have TWO kids? WTF. I can’t believe it was back in August of 07 that I was wonderin what the hell was wrong with the boy marryin her. And they haven’t even had a blip on the radar. Good for them. Well, until now. It appears that Tameka Foster has had complications with her plastic surgery in Brazil and Usher has to cancel his shows to be with her. If there is one thing I learned, it’s that black people and plastic surgery don’t mix. And I know why. You can’t perfect perfection. End of discussion. Hope she doesn’t die.

Shauna Sand in the sand

Shauna Sand because boobs aren’t everything…sadly. And who wears clear heels to the beach? This girl is a certified HO. Clear heels? Do strippers still wear clear heels? I thought it went outta style after Chris Rock called them out on it. Yuck.

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!
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When plastic surgery goes wrong

Exhibit A) Shauna Sand. As much as men like big tits, lips, and ass…we like them to be natural. Everythin else is for our slight amusement due to our limited attention span. And women know this. So they go back and get more injections, more surgery, more “more” stuff. Then they come back lookin like this.

But the thing is, we know it’s the same person from before just “more”. And it doesn’t hold our attention at all. We just look at you and shake our heads.