You Can't Be Tough...

You Can’t Be Tough if you’re Chris Brown.

You Can't Be Tough...

You Can’t Be Tough if you gonna knock down a chick for spitting in your face.

I mean, don’t get it wrong. If a girl tried to throw the hands with me cuz she thinks she’s tough, then we can get it on like Tyson and Holyfield. But if she spit in my face..I’d prolly take a piss on her lol. And all the dudes hyping it up and shit…that’s mad stupid. And they recorded it…it’s gonna make good evidence if she files charges. And the girl looked like she weighed 90 pounds…wet with Tims on. That dude better hope she ain’t got no older brothers…

You Can't Be Tough

You can’t be tough with paw prints goin up your back. You know the tattoo style that you see on stripper's legs. I don’t care how diesel you are and I don’t care that you look like an extra from Mortal Kombat, I still don’t respect the paw prints on dudes. So in my book you can’t be tough. And just cuz you can whoop my ass still doesn’t make you tough, it just makes you a better fighter. I bet you wouldn’t step if I had a nine on me. Cuz you know I never hesitate to put a nigga on his back.

You Can't Be Tough...

You can’t be tough beatin a person that’s in a wheelchair. I mean that really goes without sayin, but Officer Cozzi of the Chicago Police FORCE may have not known. He has admitted to beatin Randle Miles and creatin false police reports about the incident. Gotta love that it took 3 years to get to this point.

You Can't Be Tough...

You can’t be tough riding around in your car with some R&B on blast. Hell, and not just any R&B, you got slow jams on? Baby makin music with no girl to make the babies with? Kill yo self. And you singing along? This ain’t a music video. Chicks ain’t gonna walk up to your car cuz you got Babyface on blast and ya’ll singing about all the things you’d do to a lady. Roll your damn windows up or cut that shit off.

You Can't Be Tough...

I wanna have one (or maybe more) of those periodic sectional installments like magazines have. But I think I’ma forget to write about it, so I will need your help and I’ll explain at the end. One of the new sections is gonna be called “You can’t be tough”. Rather than explaining it, I’ll just get right into it. You can’t be tough with a Volkswagen Bug with black paint, black rims, tinted windows, and blacked out headlamps and taillights. You just can’t. A car model after a lady bug will never be tough. They coulda made it a scorpion or some spider, or somethin else. Even the original beetle was tougher lookin. This is how your VW Bug should be dressed up:

You can’t be tough in a car that has less horsepower than my bicycle. If you have any suggestions of things that ain't tough, email me at therantisdue at gmail.com or leave suggestions on the Facebook wall.