Andy Samberg has a British sister

Doesn’t Amy Wine-O look like Andy with tits? And a cracked out look? I’m tellin ya, they family.

Amy Winehouse saves a life

Yep. You read it right. I’m not even gonna make any mean jokes about it either. Amy Winehouse saw a lady who she presumed going to drown. The lady, Louise Williams, said “A six-foot wave caught the boat and I went flying and hit a rock,". And then Amy came rushin over. After she saw Louise. Hit a rock. Maybe she was confused on the kind of rock. Ok ok, I’m sorry, couldn’t help it. Good job Wine-o!

Amy Winehouse won't let Blake divorce her

Crack can really mess up your mind. How she gonna say that she loves Blake and she won’t let him divorce her but then confess that she is just havin fun and that the other dude was a holiday thing? This bitch has completely lost it. Can you emasculate a man any more without physically removing his testicles? “I won’t let you divorce me, you’ll sit in jail and endure the stories you hear about me fuckin off other chaps.” Whoa. Not only should Blake divorce her but he should escape jail, whup her ass, and then return to his cell. He’s already doing time for assault, what’s another couple years?

Amy Winehouse's husband files for divorce

But you know not everythin lasts forever. That bein said, Amy Wine-o’s hubby is filing for divorce while behind bars. Substituting the glass dick for a real one has finally taken its toll on Blake Fielder-Civil. That and hearin all the rumors about his wife fuckin everyone that will get her high and her recent interview sayin she doesn’t feel married right now. Talk about a ride or die bitch…Amy claims that Blake isn’t good for her because their relationship was drug fueled. But the nigga has been in jail for a min and she still crackin off. How she gonna blame him? She just wants dick on a regular basis. That’s what crack does to your body, makes you a sex animal. People think that the drugs is what causes the weight loss, but it’s really the incredible amounts of sex you have per day that burns off the fat.

Crackheads Gon' Wild: Winehouse edition

Amy Winehouse’s ex assistant/love toy has sold his story to the News Of The World (I think it’s a British tabloid). He has revealed such (non) shockin things such as she smoked crack for breakfast and would use broken bottles as crack pipes. She was a bulimic that lived off of McDonalds and Crunchie bars and used his toothbrush to induce vomiting. See? Nothin shocking. He did mention that she was a sex addict and that he would ‘make love’ (who needs a toothbrush with that image?) to her 4 to 5 times a day. Now that’s an issue. I guess it ties in with my intro; the ugliest broads be the freakiest ones. Disgusting. And unlike the ex assistant, I know when to say no. Ahem, I mean since I’m wifed up already I wouldn’t know anythin about that. But if I were in the assistant’s shoes, I woulda told that crack head to hold up. Unless she was tryin to suck my dick for some crack, then I woulda let her lol.

2 days...

On my way back east as you read this, so excuse the briefness and pray I don’t have to spend the night in Chicago. If there are no posts tomorrow, check the headlines for crashed planes (as I bite my nails nervously). On a happier note, found some topless photos of Amy Wine-o…happier than a plane crash note. But I don’t think you really wanna see it. If she only looked as good as she did back in 2004. If you do wanna see it, then email me and I’ll send the link.