Maybe it's a drill?

Today must be anti-sympathy day for me, because I keep hearin these stories that make normal people sad, but I laugh (kinda). Take for instance the Anti-kidnapping consultant that was recently kidnapped in Mexico. HAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m not laughin at the situation, I’m laughin at the guy. Or is it the other way round? Wait, I got it. I’m laughin at the irony. That would be like you seein your self defense instructor gettin his ass whupped in the parking lot. Nigga, how you gonna protect me from getting kidnapped when you gettin kidnapped? I tell you though, these Mexicans are gettin tough. Just the other day this Mexican chihuahua lookin muthafucka gonna be parked in front of a pump at a gas station. I honk my horn to get him out the way, it’s a gas station not a parking lot. Can you believe that he got out the car and tried to talk shit? I hopped out the car thinkin he would think twice and scurry back into his car…but I was dressed for work. ARGGH, I need to keep a hoody, some sweats, and a pair of Tims in my trunk. Let these brown muthafuckas know why white people cross the streets when they see us.

Do asians ever fuck up?

With the Latino population becomin the majority minority, soon they’ll change the name to Brown Friday. In equally minorities actin stupid news, two Hispanic muthafuckas shot each other to death in a Toys R Us. Yes, that’s the same store that sells products FOR CHILDREN! Which means if they were black, their aim would be terrible (due to them bein bitches with guns) and they woulda shot a kid. It appears that there were two couples and the girls were in line and got in a fight. One started whuppin on the other, and then the guys got involved with one pullin a gun. Then the other pulled out a gun too and they chased each other around the store for a bit. But like any true thugs would do, their demise was gangsta with both finishin each other off (no homo). I still can’t get over the fact they did this in Toys R Us. Black people ain’t that stupid. Right? Either way, my white readers are laughin because they know they’ll never lose their power regardless of how many colored Presidents we elect.