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OMG, thank GOOOODNESS it’s GOOD Friday!!! Whew, what a week. Gonna wrap it up with a company picnic…holla at some shorties…oh wait, I’m in Utah. Ain’t any shorties. Anyways, fly back to LA LA land on Saturday and will resume my Hollywood debauchery.

Scarlett Johansson at the premiere of the loser movie

Scarlett Johansson at the premiere of that shitty movie nobody cares about. She is lookin good tho, I’m feelin the straight red hair, and the blonde shit was getting tired. However, where are the tits? She shoulda picked out a better dress than that for a girl with her assets.

Serious actors needed

Scarlett Johansson has once again stated that she wants to be taken as a serious actress. Once again, I implore her to take acting classes. I’ve only seen about two of her movies and they haven’t been that great. Maybe she should suck it up and be happy to have a job in this recession.

What's next? Bras with pocket protectors?

Is this what’s poppin in the hood now? Oversized dork glasses? I for one don’t think the shits are cool. They don’t scream nerd. Instead they scream I’m tryin to look ugly when I’m hot. That’s like me tryin to stuff my package in briefs. It’s just wrong and doesn’t work. Hopefully this fad doesn’t become one.

Breastacular

Scarlett Johansson hasn’t made it to the Rant in a long while until today. I wonder why…actually I know why. She’s engaged (or married) to Alanis Morisette’s ex douche. She can’t really act. She can’t really sing. Her voice is raspy and not in a sexy way. There’s only one thing going for her. Make that two.

The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!!!

Wedding Bells

It appears Ryan Reynolds (totally shitty actor in my opinion) and Scarlett Johansson (total babe but shitty actress (as of late) in my opinion) have gotten married. Nothin special, no wedding pics, just wanted you to be in the know so that you have somethin to discuss at the water cooler today, lol.