Today isn't "Nigga's day off" day

As most of you know, today is the end and the beginning. As Bush leaves office, Obama enters. Black people, your holiday and day off were yesterday not today. So don’t be a nigga and decide to extend your weekend an extra day. Even if you ain’t got a job, hopefully you scheduled 20 interviews today just so that you can go to work tomorrow. For those goin to the inauguration, like the rapper Skillz said “don’t turn this into an all-star game.” No cookouts, no Chevys on 26” rims with sound systems that rattle the gates of the White House (or the aim of the counter snipers watchin out for the snipers), no niggas just hangin out tryin to “holla” at the group of girls passin by, no girls rockin clothes so scandalous that they should be banned at clubs, and most importantly: NO FIGHTING! No “nigga moments”. If you need a definition of what a “nigga moment” is, I suggest pickin up season one of the Boondocks.

Couch surfing for the Inauguration

I didn’t notice any black people there….and that’s because black people don’t just sleep in a stranger’s home. What’s the typical description for serial killers? WHITE male, so we can’t stay there. What do you need for a nigga moment? Usually two BLACK males, but it could be female. Can’t stay there. A black female will invite you into her home, but then expect you to do house work for her and make you look ungrateful if you don’t. Can’t stay there either. Looks like the safest place to stay would be with a white woman, America’s favorite demographic. They’ll let you stick around for as long as you want. They’ll cook, clean, and they won’t even let you get up from in front of the TV. Why didn’t we vote for Hilary? Oh yea, she’s got bigger testis than her husband.