Helping the blind to see

I certainly wouldn’t wanna get my eyesight back durin a Recession. I want a titanium penis, so that when I tell a chick to polish it she really brings out metal polish and rubs me down. Um, where am I goin with this…oh yea. Restoring sight to the blind on some Jesus shit huh? Very nice. I’m definitely signin myself up to get my body frozen and do some bring me back from the dead type shit.

Frozen sperm work after 22 years

So modern medicine has struck again with the birth of a healthy girl with sperm frozen for over 22 years. Yep, the guy had cancer as a teen and was told to freeze up some Universal Soldiers (that was a great movie and ties in so well with this post) because the treatment would leave him sterile. But the man beat the cancer and got married and got his boys thawed out and now has a girl. Wow, that is super cool. So the whole time he’s been havin unprotected sex and not worryin bout a chick getting preggers? Sign me up!!! Take my sperm, freeze dry them, sterilize me, and let me go! This must be an awesome situation for his wife cause she doesn’t have to get bloated from the pill or mess up her hormones. I mean nuttin in a girl to get her pregnant is soooo 90s. Now it’s about the doctor FORCING the egg to be fertilized…well not exactly. IVF doesn’t always work on the first shot and women have to try again multiple times. Just ask the crazy bitch with 8 new babies. You know, if we’re freezing sperm, it’s only a matter of time before we’re freezing humans. I mean, I’ve HEARD that some companies do it, but nobody is sure what will happen when they thaw out. I know I wanna be frozen right before I take my last breath. Then unfrozen 30 years later and take my last breath in the future. That’d be gangsta to the 5th degree.